Sheryl Crow Kid Rock dating

Sheryl Crow’s Boyfriend. Sheryl Crow is single. She is not dating anyone currently. Sheryl had at least 12 relationship in the past. Sheryl Crow has been engaged to Lance Armstrong (2005 – 2006). She has dated many artists, like Owen Wilson. She adopted two sons, Wyatt Steven and Levi James. According to our records, she has no children. Picture' is a 2001 song by Kid Rock from his album Cocky, an acoustic country ballad performed with Sheryl Crow, released as a single in 2003. Sheryl Crow and Kid Rock seem like an unlikely match, and perhaps that’s why they chose to keep their relationship out of the public eye. According to Ranker, the pair are reported to have dated after working together on the 2002 song, 'Picture.'. Who’s Dated Who also commented on the coupling, and reported that the pair were linked in 2002.. 12 Paris Hilton Has An Interesting (And Diverse ... As America approaches a historic opportunity to finally break the 231-year old glass ceiling in the nation’s 2nd highest office, nine-time Grammy Award winner Sheryl Crow today r... But it's now also gotten the attention of one of his rumored ex-girlfriends and fellow music artist, Sheryl Crow, who has some word, er lyrics, for Robert Richie, aka Kid Rock. Sheryl Crow is calling out her old friend, Kid Rock in defense of Taylor Swift.. 57-year-old Crow had a simple response to Rock's sexist tweet about Taylor Swift that went viral on Friday by ... Sheryl Crow is a legend in the singing industry. She has released eight studio albums, two compilations, a live album and has worked on many different film soundtracks. According to ranker.com, after working with Kid Rock on his 2002 song, Picture, rumors started flying that the two were secretly involved. 5 Briana Banks (Openly Dated) Sheryl Crow and Kid Rock had an encounter in 2002.. About. Sheryl Crow is a 58 year old American Singer. Born Sheryl Suzanne Crow on 11th September, 1962 in Kennett, Missouri, USA, she is famous for All I Wanna Do in a career that spans 1987–present and 1985–present and 1984–present. Sheryl Crow has had an encounter with Kid Rock (2002).. About. Sheryl Crow is a 58 year old American Singer. Born Sheryl Suzanne Crow on 11th September, 1962 in Kennett, Missouri, USA, she is famous for All I Wanna Do in a career that spans 1987–present and 1985–present and 1984–present. Kid Rock and Sheryl Crow wrote 'Picture' and recorded it for his Cocky album. Eventually it'd become a big cross-genre hit and rank among the best country songs of the 2000s, but was that romance ...

Honeybee

2020.08.09 08:39 Grampong Honeybee

Honeybee
Honeybee
Could you imagine where our lives would lead?
While I KNEW I would write this Snippet one day, I NEVER thought my Narrative would unfold like THIS, especially with a truly Soul-ripping twist I NEVER noticed until only minutes before the End over a decade later.
I try to avoid too much of my Life bleeding into my Snippets (some is unavoidable, since I write from my Experience). Not this Time, this Snippet shines the spotlight directly on the single biggest part of my Life (other than myself, of course), my Lifelong Love Honeybee.
A Lifelong Love is a very special type of Love, and each Life has room for only ONE Lifelong Love (but that one is FAR from guaranteed). There can only be ONE Love who meets you as a young adult, and continues with you on your Path for decades as together the two of you learn about each other and Reality, and then blaze a Path together into the Future hand-in-hand through births, deaths, jobs, burnt dinners, drunk relatives, and all the other Joys and Pains that Life brings.
For me, that Lifelong Love is Honeybee, and I wouldn’t have it any other way. Our Lifelong Love has been sans pareille. She’s the Bestest Lifelong Love in History.
She was my Honeybee, and I was her Honeybee. What we are now to each other in this Impossible Year, and what we will be going forward, remains to be determined.
One Hundred Magickal Hours
On October 15th, 1987, I was home on leave, playing bridge at the local college when two of my buddies had to go to class, and Honeybee decided to Sit Down Beside Me, began talking, and started a Discussion with me. This was our first Moment together. She was a young beautiful brilliant cultured refined six foot blonde dressed in a true vision of late Reagan America with hairspray, Bass Weejuns, natural fibers, glasses with HUGE frames, shoulder pads, and more hairspray. Her Consciousness was blazing, and our Discussion added subject after subject such as why Bork had to be borked, to the impact of fire on the beginnings of civilization, welfare reform, etc. We were jumping from topic to topic, never losing the other, and both of us were having a great time.
An hour later, she had to go to class, but said she would return afterwards and we could continue our Discussion then if I was still here. My other buddy decided to take off and asked I wanted to come along. I said “Nah, she’s really smart and really cute. It’s worth an hour to see if she comes back.”
It’s obvious what happened an hour later.
Honeybee and I just kept our Discussion going hour after hour, topic after topic getting added, over dinner, driving around, back to her place and we talked until we fell asleep. OK, we did a few things OTHER than talking, but that was really just as offshoot of the talking (that’s my story and I’m sticking to it, ask Honeybee for her side if you want).
DC, the OG Road Trip
Friday evening, Honeybee had a road trip planned with a girlfriend of hers to Washington, DC, so I figured that this was going to be the last day I would spend with Honeybee before I had to return to base Monday. Coincidentally (synchronistically?), the driver had to bail so she drafted me into driving (IMO, more than a fair trade for few extra days with Honeybee).
This Road Trip set the standard for the many hundreds to follow.
Honeybee had her Violent Femmes tape, so we sang Blister in the Sun, Kiss Off, Gone Daddy Gone. The radio added I Got My Mind Set on You – George Harrison, Didn’t We Almost Have It All – Whitney Houston, I Think We’re Alone Now – Tiffany.
Everyone had a great time popping around DC for a couple days, Honeybee and I keeping that Discussion rolling. I found a treasure, a Magentalane album by Klaatu at a record store which would add many songs to our NEXT Road Trip like Mrs. Toad’s Cookies – Klaatu and our favorite to hear when we are almost Home, Magentalane – Klaatu
Black Monday
Honeybee was back in class Monday, and I needed to leave Monday evening. Honeybee and I realized that we had something Real and something VERY SPECIAL, but we lived 800 miles apart at the time. We agreed that we would try to see each other as much as possible, and when in the same city we were each other’s priorities, but otherwise we would live separate Lives and inform the other if there was “Something they needed to know,” which meant another Relationship which was rising in seriousness and a potential threat.
During our discussion, we noted that the stock market was crashing and had been the end of last week and this day would be called Black Monday. We laughed when we noticed that it started tanking roughly the same time Honeybee sat down to start our Discussion. We joked that us getting together had crashed the stock market.
The Honeybee Team Supreme
Together, Honeybee and I formed a Partnership capable of absolutely ANYTHING. Where I was weak, she was strong, and vice versa (and our strengths overlapped FAR more than they gapped).
My mental condition which Honeybee and I deduced as around the Asperger’s/Dyssemia area of the autism spectrum (we always refer to it as simply “Dyssemia”). My Dyssemia is inextricably linked to so many of my greatest strengths and weaknesses. While I have phenomenal intellectual capabilities, an Exceptional Memory which functions much like “Flashbacks” where I remember by reliving my Experiences with that information (both Good and Bad), and Math as my primary language, these abilities are achieved through a trade-off leaving me always an Individual, unable to join a Group or Consensus, and totally lacking in ANY “common sense”, lol.
Honeybee, OTOH, has her own set of phenomenal intellectual capabilities, her own Exceptional Memory which functions differently than mine (she considers mine “better”), fantastic language skillz, with a strong connection to and understand of the Consensus.
Honeybee can process data and multitask better than anyone, period. Watching her at full speed is an amazing sight. My specialties are pattern recognition, Gnosis, and penetrating focus. As individuals, we were Phenomenal. As the Honeybee Team Supreme, we were Transcendent.
Honeybee was the Yin to my Yang. We made an unbeatable Partnership, and proceeded to start taking Reality by storm.
Honeybee
I can't imagine how my life would be
If all your gravity did not hit me
Oh, don't you see?
Darling, my honeybee
Transplants
After spending a few years finishing college and taking the first few steps into the outside World, Honeybee and I recognized that we were “deadended” in our current location and decided to relocate. I wisely agreed with her when she suggested Central Florida because “If people save for a year or two to spend a week there, it’s GOT to be a good place to live.” And it hasn’t just been been a good place to live, it’s been SPECTACULAR!!! Honeybee made another of her great calls which possibly saved our Lives.
Honeybee and I packed every item we owned (and her cat who had adopted me as his hero) from The Old Apartment into a U-Haul and drove to the horizon to start our new Life without ANY idea where we were going to Live other than “Central Florida”. We were poster candidates for “Fools Rush In”, but Honeybee and I pulled it off yet again. We were truly The Honeybee Team Supreme, and nothing was impossible for us.
It was Just Like Heaven
But here we are
After all the messes and confessions
To the stars
That we never really owned as ours
The Honeybee Team Supreme’s Greatest Hits
Honeybee and I have shared so many truly spectacular Moments over our decades together. Here’s a sample of the highlights.
Travel
Honeybee and I took our first Road Trip the day after we met, and we never stopped until we recently parted.
The Honeybee Team Supreme does Road Trips RIGHT. The vehicle barely stops, bathroom breaks try to fit in gas stops, prepack food, we have it down after MANY hundreds.
Songs are chosen for singalongs, especially to stay awake driving. We started with our playlist from that OG DC trip and have added so many more like Goodbye Yellow Brick Road – Elton John, Paradise by the Dashboard Light – Meatloaf, One Headlight – Wallflowers, etc.
The Honeybee Team Supreme has been knocking out “Must Sees” for our Babybees as we enjoy them ourselves. A partial list:
Grand Canyon St Louis Arch NYC Washington DC Monument Valley Pike’s Peak Garden of the Gods Graceland Petroglyph National Monument Monticello Salt Lake City Yellowstone
We watched one of the very final Dreams Come True Fireworks performances from the top of the Contemporary Resort while eating unlimited sushi with an open bar as part of our hundreds of trips to Disneyworld.
Movies
Honeybee and I shared our Love of movies from the very beginning of our Conversation. We were both surprised we shared the same 40 year old black and white movie as our favorite: Holiday Inn. I had discovered it wrapping Christmas presents with my mother, as did Honeybee, so we naturally made this a Honeybee Team Supreme tradition.
We debated the “proper” ending for movies like Pretty in Pink, tossed themes back and forth, and were our own Honeybee Team Supreme version of Siskel and Ebert.
Honeybee and I Loved going to the movies, and 1999 the peak for us. Virtually every time we saw a movie, it was either phenomenal or fun. That was a GREAT year with Honeybee. Look at the movies we saw:
10 Things I Hate About You 13th Warrior American Beauty American Pie Any Given Sunday Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me Blair Witch Project Being John Malkovich Boys Don't Cry Cider House Rules Dick Dogma Election Eyes Wide Shut Existenz Fight Club For the Love of the Game Go Green Mile Iron Giant House on Haunted Hill Last Night Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels Matrix The Mummy Never Been Kissed Notting Hill Office Space Payback Magnolia Man on the Moon Mystery Men She's All That Sixth Sense Sleepy Hollow South Park Star Wars Episode I Stigmata Summer of Sam Talented Mr. Ripley Tarzan Thomas Crown Affair Topsy-Turvy Toy Story 2 Wild Wild West The World Is Not Enough
And just seeing the movies doesn’t cover the whole “movie experience”, because so many times our friends would add some of the best parts (like “Heavily Implied” taking on new meaning after American Beauty)
We Love Charlie Kaufman, Spike Jonze, Michel Gondry, and similar movies like Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind with Wish You Were Here, Adaptation, etc. We Love classic movies, art movies, animation, etc.
Let’s just say Honeybee and I Love movies a LOT (and have a thousand discs still to watch).
Television
Honeybee and I were First Fandom for Reality TV, watching the OG Real World. While MOST Reality TV is beyond the Pale for us, we have passed this on to our Babybees. As a Hive, we watch Big Brother, Amazing Race, Project Runway, Top Chef, and similar shows and analyze the competitors and the competition (our Babybees are VERY astute).
Theatre
Live theatre has always been a special treat for Honeybee and me, and something we truly savor. Some of our favorites:
A spectacular performance of Fuenteovejuna at the Folger Shakespeare Theatre in Washington, DC in one of their rare non-Shakespeare plays.
An incredible college performance of The Mystery of Edwin Drood by Rupert Holmes of Escape (The Pina Colada Song) in the Annie Russell Theatre where the audience selection of the ending gave a lesser player a chance to shine, and boy did he.
So many local and community theatres like Manhattan South Studio Theatre, with productions like The Brady Bunch (The Second Coming of Jan), the Glass Jar, and countless others. Those shows took on additional special meaning when we knew the actors or writers.
The UNFORGETTABLE (unless you were my friend who slept through the whole thing) most self-indulgent FIVE hour Sherlock Holmes play EVER (with two intermissions). The second intermission included a police scene with a dead body in the middle of the road (we concluded the body was someone trying to RUN as fast as possible away from the Play, and that he was in better shape since he wasn’t going back inside for the rest), and ended with the announcement “IF anyone wants to go back in and watch, we will be starting soon.” We ALL rolled at the “IF”.
And, of course, Bandstand on Broadway.
Sports
My family’s relationship with Sports runs very deep and very wide. Honeybee jumped right in and she did a great job.
While I’m not sure she’s EVER understood the point of showing up to a spring training game over an hour early (“Why watch them bat when it doesn’t count?”), Honeybee REALLY enjoyed the one spring training game we NEVER saw. We met a few of my cousins before the game at the team’s hotel bar for a drink. Much like that Lays Potato chip, ONE drink is NOT possible when 1980 American League Rookie of the Year Super Joe Charboneau is buying using the Indian’s team expense account (Go Joe Charboneau for SURE). And when Super Joe is buying the drinks, getting you drunk, and telling story after story of his exploits, you never make it to the game. Those stories start with the famous ones that surfaced his rookie year, like drinking beer through a straw through his NOSE, him fixing that nose when it was broken using pliers and a few shots of Jack Daniel’s, and doing his own dental work, but they don’t end there. Honeybee and I both agree, once in their Life, everyone should have Super Joe get them drunk (it’s not to be missed).
Honeybee and I went to a LOT of sporting events, but my favorite Moment with her concerning sports was a Moment she took the initiative and Planned herself for me.
For Christmas in 2002, Honeybee gave me two tickets for us to see the North Carolina Scholastic Classic on January 20, 2003. That meant I was FINALLY going to get to see Lebron James play in my alma mater’s Green and Gold Irish jersey (Honeybee gave me one of those the next year). So Honeybee and I made another of our patented Road Trips, and I was not disappointed to see in person the phenomenon my brother told me could have jumped to the NBA after his freshman year of high school. LeBron did the IMPOSSIBLE, he successfully DEFENDED a 3 on 1 fast break (no human being should be able to do that). After I saw that, I turned to Honeybee and said “If he doesn’t get hurt and doesn’t lose his head, he can make a run at surpassing Jordan, because LeBron is drawing from the largest skill set I’ve ever seen with a perfect body.” Honeybee agreed and still does.
Concerts
Honeybee and I saw so very many great concerts together, there’s no way to do them justice. The best part for me was ALWAYS that I was sharing the experience with Honeybee (she ALWAYS makes even the most bland Experience wonderful for me).
We watched Crosby, Stills, and Nash open for the Grateful Dead at Three Rivers Stadium after wandering around for hours with the Deadheads (and we still have out tie-dye t-shirts).
Lifehouse, Everclear, and Matchbox Twenty performed a triple bill where a Joyous Art Alexakis who stole the entire show from Rob Thomas’ homecoming by having security chase him and his wireless guitar up and down the stairs of the Orena.
Wang Chung, Flock of Seagulls, Missing Persons, Gene Loves Jezebel rocked the House of Blues
We jammed to Experimental Jazz at the Disney Institute, countless concerts at Disneyworld (we skipped most because they didn’t fit our schedule well), etc.
Ushered in 2000 with Blue Meridian at the Have A Nice Day Cafe.
We stood right in front of the stage on Pleasure Island while Modern English sang Melt With You for food, followed by World Party in the rain.
Honeybee had to drag me away from Steve Kilbey of The Church when he was was too busy talking to me about my business and playing the “Proud Poppa” showing off his daughter’s artwork from college to remember to get ready for the concert in a tiny club.
Roger Daltrey delivered Tommy backed by the Cleveland Orchestra at Blossom in a performance Roger KNEW he had in him and had always wanted to give, and he gave that performance of his Life (we were so glad he didn’t “Die Before He Get Old” for Honeybee and I to have yet another of our Moments).
Our LAST concert was March 7, right before concerts went away, when we watched Michael Stanley Strike Up the Band One FINAL Time from the first row of the orchestra pit (if Honeybee and I never see another concert together, that was a Moment I’ll be happy to go out on).
People
The people who have crossed Honeybee’s and my Path, and walked with us for a while, demonstrate some SERIOUS “strength through diversity”.
Honeybee and I have yet to find people we don’t like (other than rude hurtful people, of course), and we have socialized across the entire social spectrum. We’ve gone out to dinner with couples who were having their version of our “smothered chicken”, we’ve joked with billionaires over which loge they watched the baseball team they own, we’ve watched Super Bowls and NBA Finals with hoop friends from pick-up games on the playground, we’ve plot doctored books and had the authors dedicate the book to us in thanks, etc.
Many interrelated circles of friends grew around the Honeybee Team Supreme, we had friends of all sorts. Honeybee and I struggled to figure out if we could fit TWO days at home a week into our social callendar.
Look around
We made a garden of the love we found
So many reasons I would fight to stay
You're the courage when I fade
Take a look at what we've made
Marriage
In 1996, I was working on our finances, and I shared with Honeybee that we would save about $3,000 if we were married, she got one of those looks of hers on her face, and I asked “Do you want to?” Not the most romantic or greatest of proposals, but she accepted anyway.
That great group of friends we assembled came together and threw us a FABULOUS Wedding, a bit Fandango style. We did everything backwards, a formal brunch followed by the ceremony in a beautiful rose garden. The reception was at a friends’ house, and then the after-reception of pizza and beer at yet another friends’ house around the block. Special people who shared a special day with us.
Missing were any rings. Honeybee is VERY particular about jewelry. She doesn’t like men wearing jewelry, so I have NEVER worn a wedding ring, at her request. As for her rings, at the time we could not justify the Engagement Ring she wanted, a 1 ½ carat emerald cut ring. I promised that ring to Honeybee, and she will have it, even if I have to give it to her at the finalization of the divorce as a “Thank you for having BEEN my wife” Ring rather than an Engagement Ring.
That silly ring, it wasn't meant to be
Luckily you saw in me
Something I couldn't see
”My Mind Is Gone, Is It EVER Coming Back!?!”
In late 2003, we succeeded in becoming pregnant with our first Babybee. The Collaboration we had been Planning and Loving toward had reached a new stage. still remember making special note of one of those Moments with Honeybee in early 2004 when we were Pregnant with our son. I brought her breakfast in bed (coffee for decades was standard, with extras like breakfast often added), and found her crying. I asked in a panic what was wrong, and Honeybee sobbed out, “My Mind is gone, is it EVER coming back!?!” All these strange Feelings and Emotions were taking over her Mind and Body, and she could tell that she was changing and becoming different than she had been before we got Pregnant.
I laughed and explained to her that those changes were her Body and Mind changing to give Birth to Babybee and become a Mommybee. I said that those changes were going to be in place until we decided to stop having children and breastfeeding, which was planned after our second child in about 5 years. That brought more tears from Honeybee and more laughter from me.
I NEVER should have been laughing, because I was horribly wrong about her Mind returning in 5 years. That wonderful incredible beautiful Mind she had shared with me for almost 20 years NEVER returned to what she shared with me before getting pregnant.
I NOW see the Moment of which I made that special note was NOT simply one of those tender Husband/Wife Moments that they look back on fondly (as Honeybee and I did so many times with this Moment, each of which now carries a touch of ash to me). No, this was the Honeybee I met in 1987, that incredible brilliant beautiful young woman to whom I instantly Bonded and Loved, with whom I started “officially” cohabiting in 1990, sweated out Midwest winters with windows open on a third floor of a Victorian house turned into a VERY cheap apartment (we did go out to dinner once a week for smothered chicken for under $20 total, tip included), packed every single one of our belongings into the back of a U-Haul to drive a thousand miles without a CLUE of where we were going to Live in 1993 (at once the Greatest and most Foolish thing we EVER did), started a business based on sharing my Love with others, launched her career and proudly watched her climb the corporate ladder saying “Farewell” to me, HER Honeybee
The Honeybee I Knew and Loved was actually saying “Goodbye” to me, and I didn’t Know it. I didn’t realize that my Honeybee I had Known and Loved for 16 years was leaving me, and from then on gradually my Loving Partner Honeybee would being replaced one tiny piece at a time by Mommybee, who does NOT Love me (or even understand I’m human) and sees me only as a resource for our Babybees.
I NEVER should have laughed, I should have been crying right alongside her. Now, I’ll be doing a LOT of crying not by her side waving Goodbye to my wonderful Honeybee in the Past who left me all those many years ago, but I never Knew she had gone. I’ve got a LOT of mourning to catch up on.
I’m giving you a horribly belated Goodbye now, Honeybee.
I’ve missed you so very much, especially these last few years. I’ve been so terribly Lost and Lonely without you (Mommybee abandoned our Discussion years ago, and you’ve only chipped in every so often since). I’m sorry I didn’t give you a proper Goodbye at the Time, but I didn’t Know you were going away Forever. We BOTH thought you were coming back. I didn’t even Know you were still Gone until last month. I really didn’t, Honeybee. Honest.
Such a fool
I took your love and I bent all the rules
You took the blow and didn't let it show
Stuck around to let me know
Built a family of our own
Male Light and Female Void
How could the Honeybee Team Supreme have missed such a crucial element, which eventually derailed their entire Plan? The answer is found in a VERY strange place.
Honeybee and I enjoyed exploring some of the most obscure areas of Reality in hope of finding Art and Artists. One of the most UNIQUE and GREATEST examples of Art we EVER found was the comic series Cerebus done by Dave Sim. IMO, Cerebus is the Finnegan’s Wake of comics and Sim is hands down the greatest living comic Artist. Sim’s 26 years of constant work on Cerebus produced that Artistic Alchemy where the Art and the Artist merge (which Sim later takes religious and visionary, producing an even MORE idiosyncratic work).
For all their magnificence, Sim and Cerebus are marred by what is a fatal flaw in most people’s eyes: Sim does not think or believe the genders are equal, and expresses his views in a strangely ham-fisted way which regularly melts down.
Honeybee and I LOVED extracting those parts which were Outrageous, and those parts which Sim had hit Truth (he has HUGE amounts of BOTH). Sometimes Outrageous and Truth were the same, as often happens in Art.
Here’s a summary of Sim’s system:
The Thinking Reasoning Male Light is Seminal Energy, while the Feeling Emotional Female Void is an Omnivorous Parasite.
The Male Light and Female Void can be combined by marriage into a Merged Permanence, with the components now called Merged Light and Merged Void. When Kids come Merged Light becomes Family Man.
All these Voids can be combined into a “Greater Void Wife and Kids” Omnivorous Engine, which serves the Vaginal Bottom Line. The Omnivorous Engine drives society through Lesser Void of White Collar Make-Work Programs.
The Female Void is essentially a black hole of resource need “For the Kids”, based on an Emotional and Feeling level. The Male Light cannot win on the Thinking and Reason level, as those are higher.
Many people see Sim’s Female Void as an Evil Woman, and dismiss him as a misogynist.
I’ve stripped as much of Sim’s “Simness” out of his system as I can. Here are some original sources for those who wish to read for themselves (insert all trigger warnings here): Male Light and Female Void, Reads, Tangents.
Mommybee
The Honeybee Team Supreme’s mistake is to think we were already a Merged Permanence which had avoided the Female Void issue. Honeybee is a Brilliant and Conscious woman, NOT a Female Void. We had been the Honeybee Team Supreme for almost 20 years, and no Female Void issues. We Knew the Female Void existed, but we thought we had the Female Void beat.
We were wrong. We were messing with Mother Nature, and it’s NOT nice to mess with Mother Nature.
We had not anticipated Mommybee being a Female Void and slowly robbing Honeybee of her Consciousness, leaving only Mommybee the Feeling Female Void.
When I joked with Honeybee when we were pregnant with our first Babybee, I had a general idea of the process, but the parts I missed were crucial. Emotion, Feeling, and Thought are progressive levels of abstraction, and the higher rests on the lower, with Thought supported by Feeling supported by Emotion.
My wonderful Conscious Honeybee had those three perfectly balanced, but when we got pregnant, Mommybee the Female Void which needs to provide for her Babybees ABOVE ALL ELSE disrupted her balance and Mommybee started to take over for Honeybee. As long as Honeybee and Mommybee agreed, all was well, but if they disagreed, Mommybee would win with Feeling and degrade Honeybee’s Consciousness a piece more.
I had NO idea that Mommybee was doing this until last month, so I kept executing the Plan which Honeybee and I had developed over 20 years. When Mommybee would criticize me and overrule me, I thought that was Honeybee, so I would try to Reason with her, explain that I was doing as we had Planned. Mommybee, the Female Void, saw Reason as a THREAT to her Babybees, and fought Honeybee’s Reason, and Honeybee played the rope in a Tug of War between me and Mommybee over her Babybees (a war I had NO CLUE was happening).
I am horrified that I was DESTROYING Honeybee when I was trying to follow the Plan the Honeybee Team Supreme had decided years earlier. But this Tug of War has been going on for 16 years, and Mommybee is clearly in control, with only little glimpses of Honeybee surfacing every so often.
Honeybee has lost her Consciousness, leaving Mommybee in charge until Mommybee can stop worrying so much because the Babybees are fully raised. That’s another five to ten years of Mommybee before there is much chance of Honeybee returning on a regular basis.
MAYBE.
What If?
Neither Honeybee nor I knew that us finally having the children to whom we so looked forward and had planned and worked for 15 years would unleash Mommybee and set in motion a process that eventually stole my Honeybee from me just like Alzheimer’s had taken my mother, one piece of her fabulous Mind disappearing at a Time until that incredible woman I Love so greatly was unrecognizable and GONE.
But if we HAD Known, would we have changed things (I would have changed how much I appreciated those days with just me and Honeybee, and then been prepared to adjust to Mommybee rather than blindsided)?
Other than being forewarned that Honeybee was going to transform into Mommybee, and preparing for that change, I don’t think there’s ANYTHING we would have done differently. Honeybee wanted me for her Love, her Partner, and the Father of her Babybees. She would have been incomplete without her Babybees, and I would NEVER want her incomplete for me to selfishly spend more Time with Honeybee, regardless of the Pain fulfilling our Dream of Babybees has caused me. Neither of us would have wanted anyone else to be the Father of her Babybees.
And I would never trade a Moment I got to spend with Honeybee for all the Pain and Suffering which Mommybee later inflicted upon me.
Soulmates
While Honeybee and I are Lifelong Loves, I thought for certain that we were also Soulmates, Ride together until one Dies, just like my parents with my father adding months to my mother’s Life through sheer force of Will and an eyedropper to feed her (and expert medical and legal skillz). In retrospect, I really should have paid MUCH more attention to how much Honeybee enjoyed For No One by the Beatles (she’s NEVER “needed” me, our Team Supreme was based on “Love” and “want”, NOT “need”) and the precedent of HER parent’s marriage, who separated and divorced when Honeybee and her brother were the same ages as our Babybees.
While Honeybee intended to be my Soulmate, Mommybee is NOT my Soulmate, she is a Female Void who has slowly taken over my Honeybee, one piece at a time.
Mommybee wants all my Resources and me to be happy just handing them over. I disagree, and that provokes Mommybee to attack me as if her Babybees’ Lives depend on it. Our differing POVs on this point DESPERATELY needs to be solved, but no solution is “pretty”.
Babybees
When I look at the Babybees which Honeybee and I Planned, Worked, and Loved so very hard to bring into Reality, I see that our efforts exceeded even our wildest Dreams. Our Babybees are absolutely spectacular, even more beautiful and brilliant than Honeybee and I could have ever Hoped. They are each special in their own ways, taking after Honeybee and I, yet adding their own unique spin. I could not be more proud of myself, Honeybee, Mommybee, and the Babybees in making this Collaboration a such a roaring success.
There will be NO Cat’s in the Cradle for me. I was with my Babybees CONSTANTLY with only a few hours off at a time until Mommybee decided to leave with our Babybees last month. I will always know that I was there during ALL their important formative years, because I’ve changed more diapers, driven to more sporting events, spent fewer days away from the Babybees, etc.
I even added my own new special touch to their education, riffing off Socrates, and taking his method to the next level. Instead of me focusing on pouring information and knowledge into our Babybees Minds by using questions to teach THEM, I let them teach ME their next lesson while I “played dumb”. This allowed me to focus their teaching attention at the exact point they needed to Know next, while giving them great confidence in their abilities to observe Reality and draw proper conclusions. I have helped them assemble models of Reality unlike ANY before them, totally unique and custom fit to THEM in new ways they found for themselves.
I look forward to the great Paths that will unfold before them. Those Paths will be Magickal and Marvelous. These Babybees of Honeybee and mine are truly special.
I just REALLY wish Honeybee and I could celebrate them. Or that I could celebrate them with Mommybee and our Babybees, rather than just watch their magnificent glory from a distance, which is what I anticipate happening.
But here we are
After all the messes and confessions
To the scars
That we never really owned as ours
One First Date
So, what’s next for me?
I’m going to Disneyworld, of course. What else would make any sense?
My Plan is to try and see what, if ANY, health dynamic might begin to be established between Mommybee and myself, now that I realize I am no longer married to Honeybee. Some sort of effective dynamic needs to be established because I’m going to be co-parenting with Mommybee for years, regardless of anything else.
Mommybee has agreed to take a day off her very important job (it really is, I’m very proud of how fantastically Honeybee/Mommybee’s career has progressed and I’m proud of the bits of help I’ve given her here and there, she’s a truly incredible woman) and leave the Babybees at her home so the the two of us can have a CHANCE to spend a day at Disneyworld as a couple like we we used to decades ago (the entire family tried a few weeks ago and didn’t make it long).
But I also have a Hope.
I’ve asked Mommybee to stay at her home with the Babybees this time and let me have the day with Honeybee.
I’m counting this as that “First Date” Honeybee and I always joked about NEVER having. At this point, I just want one day and one date with Honeybee, and this might be the LAST and ONLY chance I ever have.
I’m going to try and have a Moment with Honeybee and tell her how much I Miss her and I Love her. I Know now not to use those Facts and Logic which Honeybee Loves so much, but Mommybee despises when they conflict with her and her Babybees’ desires. I’ll focus on all those great Feeling and Emotions Honeybee and I had in the Past (and there were SO very many, and they were SO very great).
I’ll NEVER be able to fit all I want to say to Honeybee into a single Moment, even if we manage to stretch that Moment the entire day. But there is one thing I ABSOLUTELY WILL tell Honeybee.
“You’re the one. You’re the ONLY one.”
She’s my Honeybee, and I am her Honeybee.
She’s the Bestest Lifelong Love EVER.
For Crying Out Loud, I Love you, Honeybee.
And if our world comes tumbling down
I never could forgive myself for leaving out
You're the one
You are the only one
Won't you decide?
Won't you decide?
I want you to soar
Don't doubt anymore
(Little by little, we meet in the middle)
Won't you decide?
(What's your name?)
Won't you decide?
Snippet Playlist Alone Again, Naturally – Gilbert O’Sullivan Always on Your Side – Sheryl Crow, Sting Breakeven – The Script Circles – Post Malone Don’t Speak – No Doubt Far Away – Nickelback Happier – Marshmallo Here Come Those Tears Again – Jackson Browne Here’s Where the Story Ends – Sundays How’s It Gonna Be – Third Eye Blind In My Life – Beatles It’s All Coming Back to Me – Meatloaf My Immortal – Evanescence Rainy Days and Mondays – Carpenters The Reason – Hoobastank Reelin’ in the Years – Steely Dan She’s Gone – Hall and Oates Sorry Seems to Be the Hardest Word – Elton John Traces – Classics IV True – Spandau Ballet When We Were Young – Adele Winner Takes It All – ABBA Wonderwall – Oasis
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2020.08.06 14:42 Grampong Honeybee

Honeybee
Honeybee
Could you imagine where our lives would lead?
While I KNEW I would write this Snippet one day, I NEVER thought my Narrative would unfold like THIS, especially with a truly Soul-ripping twist I NEVER noticed until only minutes before the End over a decade later.
I try to avoid too much of my Life bleeding into my Snippets (some is unavoidable, since I write from my Experience). Not this Time, this Snippet shines the spotlight directly on the single biggest part of my Life (other than myself, of course), my Lifelong Love Honeybee.
A Lifelong Love is a very special type of Love, and each Life has room for only ONE Lifelong Love (but that one is FAR from guaranteed). There can only be ONE Love who meets you as a young adult, and continues with you on your Path for decades as together the two of you learn about each other and Reality, and then blaze a Path together into the Future hand-in-hand through births, deaths, jobs, burnt dinners, drunk relatives, and all the other Joys and Pains that Life brings.
For me, that Lifelong Love is Honeybee, and I wouldn’t have it any other way. Our Lifelong Love has been sans pareille. She’s the Bestest Lifelong Love in History.
She was my Honeybee, and I was her Honeybee. What we are now to each other in this Impossible Year, and what we will be going forward, remains to be determined.
One Hundred Magickal Hours
On October 15th, 1987, I was home on leave, playing bridge at the local college when two of my buddies had to go to class, and Honeybee decided to Sit Down Beside Me, began talking, and started a Discussion with me. This was our first Moment together. She was a young beautiful brilliant cultured refined six foot blonde dressed in a true vision of late Reagan America with hairspray, Bass Weejuns, natural fibers, glasses with HUGE frames, shoulder pads, and more hairspray. Her Consciousness was blazing, and our Discussion added subject after subject such as why Bork had to be borked, to the impact of fire on the beginnings of civilization, welfare reform, etc. We were jumping from topic to topic, never losing the other, and both of us were having a great time.
An hour later, she had to go to class, but said she would return afterwards and we could continue our Discussion then if I was still here. My other buddy decided to take off and asked I wanted to come along. I said “Nah, she’s really smart and really cute. It’s worth an hour to see if she comes back.”
It’s obvious what happened an hour later.
Honeybee and I just kept our Discussion going hour after hour, topic after topic getting added, over dinner, driving around, back to her place and we talked until we fell asleep. OK, we did a few things OTHER than talking, but that was really just as offshoot of the talking (that’s my story and I’m sticking to it, ask Honeybee for her side if you want).
DC, the OG Road Trip
Friday evening, Honeybee had a road trip planned with a girlfriend of hers to Washington, DC, so I figured that this was going to be the last day I would spend with Honeybee before I had to return to base Monday. Coincidentally (synchronistically?), the driver had to bail so she drafted me into driving (IMO, more than a fair trade for few extra days with Honeybee).
This Road Trip set the standard for the many hundreds to follow.
Honeybee had her Violent Femmes tape, so we sang Blister in the Sun, Kiss Off, Gone Daddy Gone. The radio added I Got My Mind Set on You – George Harrison, Didn’t We Almost Have It All – Whitney Houston, I Think We’re Alone Now – Tiffany.
Everyone had a great time popping around DC for a couple days, Honeybee and I keeping that Discussion rolling. I found a treasure, a Magentalane album by Klaatu at a record store which would add many songs to our NEXT Road Trip like Mrs. Toad’s Cookies – Klaatu and our favorite to hear when we are almost Home, Magentalane – Klaatu
Black Monday
Honeybee was back in class Monday, and I needed to leave Monday evening. Honeybee and I realized that we had something Real and something VERY SPECIAL, but we lived 800 miles apart at the time. We agreed that we would try to see each other as much as possible, and when in the same city we were each other’s priorities, but otherwise we would live separate Lives and inform the other if there was “Something they needed to know,” which meant another Relationship which was rising in seriousness and a potential threat.
During our discussion, we noted that the stock market was crashing and had been the end of last week and this day would be called Black Monday. We laughed when we noticed that it started tanking roughly the same time Honeybee sat down to start our Discussion. We joked that us getting together had crashed the stock market.
The Honeybee Team Supreme
Together, Honeybee and I formed a Partnership capable of absolutely ANYTHING. Where I was weak, she was strong, and vice versa (and our strengths overlapped FAR more than they gapped).
My mental condition which Honeybee and I deduced as around the Asperger’s/Dyssemia area of the autism spectrum (we always refer to it as simply “Dyssemia”). My Dyssemia is inextricably linked to so many of my greatest strengths and weaknesses. While I have phenomenal intellectual capabilities, an Exceptional Memory which functions much like “Flashbacks” where I remember by reliving my Experiences with that information (both Good and Bad), and Math as my primary language, these abilities are achieved through a trade-off leaving me always an Individual, unable to join a Group or Consensus, and totally lacking in ANY “common sense”, lol.
Honeybee, OTOH, has her own set of phenomenal intellectual capabilities, her own Exceptional Memory which functions differently than mine (she considers mine “better”), fantastic language skillz, with a strong connection to and understand of the Consensus.
Honeybee can process data and multitask better than anyone, period. Watching her at full speed is an amazing sight. My specialties are pattern recognition, Gnosis, and penetrating focus. As individuals, we were Phenomenal. As the Honeybee Team Supreme, we were Transcendent.
Honeybee was the Yin to my Yang. We made an unbeatable Partnership, and proceeded to start taking Reality by storm.
Honeybee
I can't imagine how my life would be
If all your gravity did not hit me
Oh, don't you see?
Darling, my honeybee
Transplants
After spending a few years finishing college and taking the first few steps into the outside World, Honeybee and I recognized that we were “deadended” in our current location and decided to relocate. I wisely agreed with her when she suggested Central Florida because “If people save for a year or two to spend a week there, it’s GOT to be a good place to live.” And it hasn’t just been been a good place to live, it’s been SPECTACULAR!!! Honeybee made another of her great calls which possibly saved our Lives.
Honeybee and I packed every item we owned (and her cat who had adopted me as his hero) from The Old Apartment into a U-Haul and drove to the horizon to start our new Life without ANY idea where we were going to Live other than “Central Florida”. We were poster candidates for “Fools Rush In”, but Honeybee and I pulled it off yet again. We were truly The Honeybee Team Supreme, and nothing was impossible for us.
It was Just Like Heaven
But here we are
After all the messes and confessions
To the stars
That we never really owned as ours
The Honeybee Team Supreme’s Greatest Hits
Honeybee and I have shared so many truly spectacular Moments over our decades together. Here’s a sample of the highlights.
Travel
Honeybee and I took our first Road Trip the day after we met, and we never stopped until we recently parted.
The Honeybee Team Supreme does Road Trips RIGHT. The vehicle barely stops, bathroom breaks try to fit in gas stops, prepack food, we have it down after MANY hundreds.
Songs are chosen for singalongs, especially to stay awake driving. We started with our playlist from that OG DC trip and have added so many more like Goodbye Yellow Brick Road – Elton John, Paradise by the Dashboard Light – Meatloaf, One Headlight – Wallflowers, etc.
The Honeybee Team Supreme has been knocking out “Must Sees” for our Babybees as we enjoy them ourselves. A partial list:
Grand Canyon St Louis Arch NYC Washington DC Monument Valley Pike’s Peak Garden of the Gods Graceland Petroglyph National Monument Monticello Salt Lake City Yellowstone
We watched one of the very final Dreams Come True Fireworks performances from the top of the Contemporary Resort while eating unlimited sushi with an open bar as part of our hundreds of trips to Disneyworld.
Movies
Honeybee and I shared our Love of movies from the very beginning of our Conversation. We were both surprised we shared the same 40 year old black and white movie as our favorite: Holiday Inn. I had discovered it wrapping Christmas presents with my mother, as did Honeybee, so we naturally made this a Honeybee Team Supreme tradition.
We debated the “proper” ending for movies like Pretty in Pink, tossed themes back and forth, and were our own Honeybee Team Supreme version of Siskel and Ebert.
Honeybee and I Loved going to the movies, and 1999 the peak for us. Virtually every time we saw a movie, it was either phenomenal or fun. That was a GREAT year with Honeybee. Look at the movies we saw:
10 Things I Hate About You 13th Warrior American Beauty American Pie Any Given Sunday Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me Blair Witch Project Being John Malkovich Boys Don't Cry Cider House Rules Dick Dogma Election Eyes Wide Shut Existenz Fight Club For the Love of the Game Go Green Mile Iron Giant House on Haunted Hill Last Night Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels Matrix The Mummy Never Been Kissed Notting Hill Office Space Payback Magnolia Man on the Moon Mystery Men She's All That Sixth Sense Sleepy Hollow South Park Star Wars Episode I Stigmata Summer of Sam Talented Mr. Ripley Tarzan Thomas Crown Affair Topsy-Turvy Toy Story 2 Wild Wild West The World Is Not Enough
And just seeing the movies doesn’t cover the whole “movie experience”, because so many times our friends would add some of the best parts (like “Heavily Implied” taking on new meaning after American Beauty)
We Love Charlie Kaufman, Spike Jonze, Michel Gondry, and similar movies like Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind with Wish You Were Here, Adaptation, etc. We Love classic movies, art movies, animation, etc.
Let’s just say Honeybee and I Love movies a LOT (and have a thousand discs still to watch).
Television
Honeybee and I were First Fandom for Reality TV, watching the OG Real World. While MOST Reality TV is beyond the Pale for us, we have passed this on to our Babybees. As a Hive, we watch Big Brother, Amazing Race, Project Runway, Top Chef, and similar shows and analyze the competitors and the competition (our Babybees are VERY astute).
Theatre
Live theatre has always been a special treat for Honeybee and me, and something we truly savor. Some of our favorites:
A spectacular performance of Fuenteovejuna at the Folger Shakespeare Theatre in Washington, DC in one of their rare non-Shakespeare plays.
An incredible college performance of The Mystery of Edwin Drood by Rupert Holmes of Escape (The Pina Colada Song) in the Annie Russell Theatre where the audience selection of the ending gave a lesser player a chance to shine, and boy did he.
So many local and community theatres like Manhattan South Studio Theatre, with productions like The Brady Bunch (The Second Coming of Jan), the Glass Jar, and countless others. Those shows took on additional special meaning when we knew the actors or writers.
The UNFORGETTABLE (unless you were my friend who slept through the whole thing) most self-indulgent FIVE hour Sherlock Holmes play EVER (with two intermissions). The second intermission included a police scene with a dead body in the middle of the road (we concluded the body was someone trying to RUN as fast as possible away from the Play, and that he was in better shape since he wasn’t going back inside for the rest), and ended with the announcement “IF anyone wants to go back in and watch, we will be starting soon.” We ALL rolled at the “IF”.
And, of course, Bandstand on Broadway.
Sports
My family’s relationship with Sports runs very deep and very wide. Honeybee jumped right in and she did a great job.
While I’m not sure she’s EVER understood the point of showing up to a spring training game over an hour early (“Why watch them bat when it doesn’t count?”), Honeybee REALLY enjoyed the one spring training game we NEVER saw. We met a few of my cousins before the game at the team’s hotel bar for a drink. Much like that Lays Potato chip, ONE drink is NOT possible when 1980 American League Rookie of the Year Super Joe Charboneau is buying using the Indian’s team expense account (Go Joe Charboneau for SURE). And when Super Joe is buying the drinks, getting you drunk, and telling story after story of his exploits, you never make it to the game. Those stories start with the famous ones that surfaced his rookie year, like drinking beer through a straw through his NOSE, him fixing that nose when it was broken using pliers and a few shots of Jack Daniel’s, and doing his own dental work, but they don’t end there. Honeybee and I both agree, once in their Life, everyone should have Super Joe get them drunk (it’s not to be missed).
Honeybee and I went to a LOT of sporting events, but my favorite Moment with her concerning sports was a Moment she took the initiative and Planned herself for me.
For Christmas in 2002, Honeybee gave me two tickets for us to see the North Carolina Scholastic Classic on January 20, 2003. That meant I was FINALLY going to get to see Lebron James play in my alma mater’s Green and Gold Irish jersey (Honeybee gave me one of those the next year). So Honeybee and I made another of our patented Road Trips, and I was not disappointed to see in person the phenomenon my brother told me could have jumped to the NBA after his freshman year of high school. LeBron did the IMPOSSIBLE, he successfully DEFENDED a 3 on 1 fast break (no human being should be able to do that). After I saw that, I turned to Honeybee and said “If he doesn’t get hurt and doesn’t lose his head, he can make a run at surpassing Jordan, because LeBron is drawing from the largest skill set I’ve ever seen with a perfect body.” Honeybee agreed and still does.
Concerts
Honeybee and I saw so very many great concerts together, there’s no way to do them justice. The best part for me was ALWAYS that I was sharing the experience with Honeybee (she ALWAYS makes even the most bland Experience wonderful for me).
We watched Crosby, Stills, and Nash open for the Grateful Dead at Three Rivers Stadium after wandering around for hours with the Deadheads (and we still have out tie-dye t-shirts).
Lifehouse, Everclear, and Matchbox Twenty performed a triple bill where a Joyous Art Alexakis who stole the entire show from Rob Thomas’ homecoming by having security chase him and his wireless guitar up and down the stairs of the Orena.
Wang Chung, Flock of Seagulls, Missing Persons, Gene Loves Jezebel rocked the House of Blues
We jammed to Experimental Jazz at the Disney Institute, countless concerts at Disneyworld (we skipped most because they didn’t fit our schedule well), etc.
Ushered in 2000 with Blue Meridian at the Have A Nice Day Cafe.
We stood right in front of the stage on Pleasure Island while Modern English sang Melt With You for food, followed by World Party in the rain.
Honeybee had to drag me away from Steve Kilbey of The Church when he was was too busy talking to me about my business and playing the “Proud Poppa” showing off his daughter’s artwork from college to remember to get ready for the concert in a tiny club.
Roger Daltrey delivered Tommy backed by the Cleveland Orchestra at Blossom in a performance Roger KNEW he had in him and had always wanted to give, and he gave that performance of his Life (we were so glad he didn’t “Die Before He Get Old” for Honeybee and I to have yet another of our Moments).
Our LAST concert was March 7, right before concerts went away, when we watched Michael Stanley Strike Up the Band One FINAL Time from the first row of the orchestra pit (if Honeybee and I never see another concert together, that was a Moment I’ll be happy to go out on).
People
The people who have crossed Honeybee’s and my Path, and walked with us for a while, demonstrate some SERIOUS “strength through diversity”.
Honeybee and I have yet to find people we don’t like (other than rude hurtful people, of course), and we have socialized across the entire social spectrum. We’ve gone out to dinner with couples who were having their version of our “smothered chicken”, we’ve joked with billionaires over which loge they watched the baseball team they own, we’ve watched Super Bowls and NBA Finals with hoop friends from pick-up games on the playground, we’ve plot doctored books and had the authors dedicate the book to us in thanks, etc.
Many interrelated circles of friends grew around the Honeybee Team Supreme, we had friends of all sorts. Honeybee and I struggled to figure out if we could fit TWO days at home a week into our social callendar.
Look around
We made a garden of the love we found
So many reasons I would fight to stay
You're the courage when I fade
Take a look at what we've made
Marriage
In 1996, I was working on our finances, and I shared with Honeybee that we would save about $3,000 if we were married, she got one of those looks of hers on her face, and I asked “Do you want to?” Not the most romantic or greatest of proposals, but she accepted anyway.
That great group of friends we assembled came together and threw us a FABULOUS Wedding, a bit Fandango style. We did everything backwards, a formal brunch followed by the ceremony in a beautiful rose garden. The reception was at a friends’ house, and then the after-reception of pizza and beer at yet another friends’ house around the block. Special people who shared a special day with us.
Missing were any rings. Honeybee is VERY particular about jewelry. She doesn’t like men wearing jewelry, so I have NEVER worn a wedding ring, at her request. As for her rings, at the time we could not justify the Engagement Ring she wanted, a 1 ½ carat emerald cut ring. I promised that ring to Honeybee, and she will have it, even if I have to give it to her at the finalization of the divorce as a “Thank you for having BEEN my wife” Ring rather than an Engagement Ring.
That silly ring, it wasn't meant to be
Luckily you saw in me
Something I couldn't see
”My Mind Is Gone, Is It EVER Coming Back!?!”
In late 2003, we succeeded in becoming pregnant with our first Babybee. The Collaboration we had been Planning and Loving toward had reached a new stage. still remember making special note of one of those Moments with Honeybee in early 2004 when we were Pregnant with our son. I brought her breakfast in bed (coffee for decades was standard, with extras like breakfast often added), and found her crying. I asked in a panic what was wrong, and Honeybee sobbed out, “My Mind is gone, is it EVER coming back!?!” All these strange Feelings and Emotions were taking over her Mind and Body, and she could tell that she was changing and becoming different than she had been before we got Pregnant.
I laughed and explained to her that those changes were her Body and Mind changing to give Birth to Babybee and become a Mommybee. I said that those changes were going to be in place until we decided to stop having children and breastfeeding, which was planned after our second child in about 5 years. That brought more tears from Honeybee and more laughter from me.
I NEVER should have been laughing, because I was horribly wrong about her Mind returning in 5 years. That wonderful incredible beautiful Mind she had shared with me for almost 20 years NEVER returned to what she shared with me before getting pregnant.
I NOW see the Moment of which I made that special note was NOT simply one of those tender Husband/Wife Moments that they look back on fondly (as Honeybee and I did so many times with this Moment, each of which now carries a touch of ash to me). No, this was the Honeybee I met in 1987, that incredible brilliant beautiful young woman to whom I instantly Bonded and Loved, with whom I started “officially” cohabiting in 1990, sweated out Midwest winters with windows open on a third floor of a Victorian house turned into a VERY cheap apartment (we did go out to dinner once a week for smothered chicken for under $20 total, tip included), packed every single one of our belongings into the back of a U-Haul to drive a thousand miles without a CLUE of where we were going to Live in 1993 (at once the Greatest and most Foolish thing we EVER did), started a business based on sharing my Love with others, launched her career and proudly watched her climb the corporate ladder saying “Farewell” to me, HER Honeybee
The Honeybee I Knew and Loved was actually saying “Goodbye” to me, and I didn’t Know it. I didn’t realize that my Honeybee I had Known and Loved for 16 years was leaving me, and from then on gradually my Loving Partner Honeybee would being replaced one tiny piece at a time by Mommybee, who does NOT Love me (or even understand I’m human) and sees me only as a resource for our Babybees.
I NEVER should have laughed, I should have been crying right alongside her. Now, I’ll be doing a LOT of crying not by her side waving Goodbye to my wonderful Honeybee in the Past who left me all those many years ago, but I never Knew she had gone. I’ve got a LOT of mourning to catch up on.
I’m giving you a horribly belated Goodbye now, Honeybee.
I’ve missed you so very much, especially these last few years. I’ve been so terribly Lost and Lonely without you (Mommybee abandoned our Discussion years ago, and you’ve only chipped in every so often since). I’m sorry I didn’t give you a proper Goodbye at the Time, but I didn’t Know you were going away Forever. We BOTH thought you were coming back. I didn’t even Know you were still Gone until last month. I really didn’t, Honeybee. Honest.
Such a fool
I took your love and I bent all the rules
You took the blow and didn't let it show
Stuck around to let me know
Built a family of our own
Male Light and Female Void
How could the Honeybee Team Supreme have missed such a crucial element, which eventually derailed their entire Plan? The answer is found in a VERY strange place.
Honeybee and I enjoyed exploring some of the most obscure areas of Reality in hope of finding Art and Artists. One of the most UNIQUE and GREATEST examples of Art we EVER found was the comic series Cerebus done by Dave Sim. IMO, Cerebus is the Finnegan’s Wake of comics and Sim is hands down the greatest living comic Artist. Sim’s 26 years of constant work on Cerebus produced that Artistic Alchemy where the Art and the Artist merge (which Sim later takes religious and visionary, producing an even MORE idiosyncratic work).
For all their magnificence, Sim and Cerebus are marred by what is a fatal flaw in most people’s eyes: Sim does not think or believe the genders are equal, and expresses his views in a strangely ham-fisted way which regularly melts down.
Honeybee and I LOVED extracting those parts which were Outrageous, and those parts which Sim had hit Truth (he has HUGE amounts of BOTH). Sometimes Outrageous and Truth were the same, as often happens in Art.
Here’s a summary of Sim’s system:
The Thinking Reasoning Male Light is Seminal Energy, while the Feeling Emotional Female Void is an Omnivorous Parasite.
The Male Light and Female Void can be combined by marriage into a Merged Permanence, with the components now called Merged Light and Merged Void. When Kids come Merged Light becomes Family Man.
All these Voids can be combined into a “Greater Void Wife and Kids” Omnivorous Engine, which serves the Vaginal Bottom Line. The Omnivorous Engine drives society through Lesser Void of White Collar Make-Work Programs.
The Female Void is essentially a black hole of resource need “For the Kids”, based on an Emotional and Feeling level. The Male Light cannot win on the Thinking and Reason level, as those are higher.
Many people see Sim’s Female Void as an Evil Woman, and dismiss him as a misogynist.
I’ve stripped as much of Sim’s “Simness” out of his system as I can. Here are some original sources for those who wish to read for themselves (insert all trigger warnings here): Male Light and Female Void, Reads, Tangents.
Mommybee
The Honeybee Team Supreme’s mistake is to think we were already a Merged Permanence which had avoided the Female Void issue. Honeybee is a Brilliant and Conscious woman, NOT a Female Void. We had been the Honeybee Team Supreme for almost 20 years, and no Female Void issues. We Knew the Female Void existed, but we thought we had the Female Void beat.
We were wrong. We were messing with Mother Nature, and it’s NOT nice to mess with Mother Nature.
We had not anticipated Mommybee being a Female Void and slowly robbing Honeybee of her Consciousness, leaving only Mommybee the Feeling Female Void.
When I joked with Honeybee when we were pregnant with our first Babybee, I had a general idea of the process, but the parts I missed were crucial. Emotion, Feeling, and Thought are progressive levels of abstraction, and the higher rests on the lower, with Thought supported by Feeling supported by Emotion.
My wonderful Conscious Honeybee had those three perfectly balanced, but when we got pregnant, Mommybee the Female Void which needs to provide for her Babybees ABOVE ALL ELSE disrupted her balance and Mommybee started to take over for Honeybee. As long as Honeybee and Mommybee agreed, all was well, but if they disagreed, Mommybee would win with Feeling and degrade Honeybee’s Consciousness a piece more.
I had NO idea that Mommybee was doing this until last month, so I kept executing the Plan which Honeybee and I had developed over 20 years. When Mommybee would criticize me and overrule me, I thought that was Honeybee, so I would try to Reason with her, explain that I was doing as we had Planned. Mommybee, the Female Void, saw Reason as a THREAT to her Babybees, and fought Honeybee’s Reason, and Honeybee played the rope in a Tug of War between me and Mommybee over her Babybees (a war I had NO CLUE was happening).
I am horrified that I was DESTROYING Honeybee when I was trying to follow the Plan the Honeybee Team Supreme had decided years earlier. But this Tug of War has been going on for 16 years, and Mommybee is clearly in control, with only little glimpses of Honeybee surfacing every so often.
Honeybee has lost her Consciousness, leaving Mommybee in charge until Mommybee can stop worrying so much because the Babybees are fully raised. That’s another five to ten years of Mommybee before there is much chance of Honeybee returning on a regular basis.
MAYBE.
What If?
Neither Honeybee nor I knew that us finally having the children to whom we so looked forward and had planned and worked for 15 years would unleash Mommybee and set in motion a process that eventually stole my Honeybee from me just like Alzheimer’s had taken my mother, one piece of her fabulous Mind disappearing at a Time until that incredible woman I Love so greatly was unrecognizable and GONE.
But if we HAD Known, would we have changed things (I would have changed how much I appreciated those days with just me and Honeybee, and then been prepared to adjust to Mommybee rather than blindsided)?
Other than being forewarned that Honeybee was going to transform into Mommybee, and preparing for that change, I don’t think there’s ANYTHING we would have done differently. Honeybee wanted me for her Love, her Partner, and the Father of her Babybees. She would have been incomplete without her Babybees, and I would NEVER want her incomplete for me to selfishly spend more Time with Honeybee, regardless of the Pain fulfilling our Dream of Babybees has caused me. Neither of us would have wanted anyone else to be the Father of her Babybees.
And I would never trade a Moment I got to spend with Honeybee for all the Pain and Suffering which Mommybee later inflicted upon me.
Soulmates
While Honeybee and I are Lifelong Loves, I thought for certain that we were also Soulmates, Ride together until one Dies, just like my parents with my father adding months to my mother’s Life through sheer force of Will and an eyedropper to feed her (and expert medical and legal skillz). In retrospect, I really should have paid MUCH more attention to how much Honeybee enjoyed For No One by the Beatles (she’s NEVER “needed” me, our Team Supreme was based on “Love” and “want”, NOT “need”) and the precedent of HER parent’s marriage, who separated and divorced when Honeybee and her brother were the same ages as our Babybees.
While Honeybee intended to be my Soulmate, Mommybee is NOT my Soulmate, she is a Female Void who has slowly taken over my Honeybee, one piece at a time.
Mommybee wants all my Resources and me to be happy just handing them over. I disagree, and that provokes Mommybee to attack me as if her Babybees’ Lives depend on it. Our differing POVs on this point DESPERATELY needs to be solved, but no solution is “pretty”.
Babybees
When I look at the Babybees which Honeybee and I Planned, Worked, and Loved so very hard to bring into Reality, I see that our efforts exceeded even our wildest Dreams. Our Babybees are absolutely spectacular, even more beautiful and brilliant than Honeybee and I could have ever Hoped. They are each special in their own ways, taking after Honeybee and I, yet adding their own unique spin. I could not be more proud of myself, Honeybee, Mommybee, and the Babybees in making this Collaboration a such a roaring success.
There will be NO Cat’s in the Cradle for me. I was with my Babybees CONSTANTLY with only a few hours off at a time until Mommybee decided to leave with our Babybees last month. I will always know that I was there during ALL their important formative years, because I’ve changed more diapers, driven to more sporting events, spent fewer days away from the Babybees, etc.
I even added my own new special touch to their education, riffing off Socrates, and taking his method to the next level. Instead of me focusing on pouring information and knowledge into our Babybees Minds by using questions to teach THEM, I let them teach ME their next lesson while I “played dumb”. This allowed me to focus their teaching attention at the exact point they needed to Know next, while giving them great confidence in their abilities to observe Reality and draw proper conclusions. I have helped them assemble models of Reality unlike ANY before them, totally unique and custom fit to THEM in new ways they found for themselves.
I look forward to the great Paths that will unfold before them. Those Paths will be Magickal and Marvelous. These Babybees of Honeybee and mine are truly special.
I just REALLY wish Honeybee and I could celebrate them. Or that I could celebrate them with Mommybee and our Babybees, rather than just watch their magnificent glory from a distance, which is what I anticipate happening.
But here we are
After all the messes and confessions
To the scars
That we never really owned as ours
One First Date
So, what’s next for me?
I’m going to Disneyworld, of course. What else would make any sense?
My Plan is to try and see what, if ANY, health dynamic might begin to be established between Mommybee and myself, now that I realize I am no longer married to Honeybee. Some sort of effective dynamic needs to be established because I’m going to be co-parenting with Mommybee for years, regardless of anything else.
Mommybee has agreed to take a day off her very important job (it really is, I’m very proud of how fantastically Honeybee/Mommybee’s career has progressed and I’m proud of the bits of help I’ve given her here and there, she’s a truly incredible woman) and leave the Babybees at her home so the the two of us can have a CHANCE to spend a day at Disneyworld as a couple like we we used to decades ago (the entire family tried a few weeks ago and didn’t make it long).
But I also have a Hope.
I’ve asked Mommybee to stay at her home with the Babybees this time and let me have the day with Honeybee.
I’m counting this as that “First Date” Honeybee and I always joked about NEVER having. At this point, I just want one day and one date with Honeybee, and this might be the LAST and ONLY chance I ever have.
I’m going to try and have a Moment with Honeybee and tell her how much I Miss her and I Love her. I Know now not to use those Facts and Logic which Honeybee Loves so much, but Mommybee despises when they conflict with her and her Babybees’ desires. I’ll focus on all those great Feeling and Emotions Honeybee and I had in the Past (and there were SO very many, and they were SO very great).
I’ll NEVER be able to fit all I want to say to Honeybee into a single Moment, even if we manage to stretch that Moment the entire day. But there is one thing I ABSOLUTELY WILL tell Honeybee.
“You’re the one. You’re the ONLY one.”
She’s my Honeybee, and I am her Honeybee.
She’s the Bestest Lifelong Love EVER.
For Crying Out Loud, I Love you, Honeybee.
And if our world comes tumbling down
I never could forgive myself for leaving out
You're the one
You are the only one
Won't you decide?
Won't you decide?
I want you to soar
Don't doubt anymore
(Little by little, we meet in the middle)
Won't you decide?
(What's your name?)
Won't you decide?
Snippet Playlist Alone Again, Naturally – Gilbert O’Sullivan Always on Your Side – Sheryl Crow, Sting Breakeven – The Script Circles – Post Malone Don’t Speak – No Doubt Far Away – Nickelback Happier – Marshmallo Here Come Those Tears Again – Jackson Browne Here’s Where the Story Ends – Sundays How’s It Gonna Be – Third Eye Blind In My Life – Beatles It’s All Coming Back to Me – Meatloaf My Immortal – Evanescence Rainy Days and Mondays – Carpenters The Reason – Hoobastank Reelin’ in the Years – Steely Dan She’s Gone – Hall and Oates Sorry Seems to Be the Hardest Word – Elton John Traces – Classics IV True – Spandau Ballet When We Were Young – Adele Winner Takes It All – ABBA Wonderwall – Oasis
submitted by Grampong to LoveAllLives [link] [comments]


2020.01.03 16:37 sconce2600 The List: 2020

Edit 4/9/20: The lineup potentially leaked on the official website, bold names denote the names leaked (this may change upon an official release).
This is a list of acts that are potentially playing OSLs 2020. I intend to update this list via edit from now until the lineup drop. If you want to add someone to this list just comment below and I will modify the list and credit your handle next to the edit. If you want to find someone in particular quickly I suggest you use ctrl F.
POTENTIAL HEADLINERS
POTENTIAL UNDERCARD:
Playing five tracked festivals
Playing four tracked festivals
Playing three tracked festivals
Playing two tracked festivals
Playing one tracked festival
Added by users, not currently playing any heavy crossover festivals so far
The following have appeared at OSLs once before but have not released new material since their first stint and are therefore less likely to appear in 2019 (To date only Beck and Vance Joy have returned WITHOUT new material, making the following acts much less likely)
The following is a list of bands that have played OSLs more than once and the gaps between return performances, considering only five acts have ever played OSLs three times, all acts in this section should be considered less likely than acts that have played OSLs once or never. Note that no act has ever returned quicker than a three year gap, Givers, Fantastic Negrito, and Big Boi were all makeup performances for prior year cancellations.
Headliners
Threepeaters
Three year gap
Four year gap
Five year gap
Six year gap
Seven year gap
Eight year gap
Ten year gap
The following are past lineup drop dates, all lineup drops from 2012 to 2019 have occurred on a Tuesday:
ACTS CONFIRMED PRIOR TO LINEUP DROP:
Clement Marfo: cracked via bigpavelski35 from a Twitter clue video posted by OSLs Twitter.
Orville Peck
Zhu
Tyler, The Creator
Brittany Howard
The Hu
The 1975
Below are names on the potential lineup leak that occurred on 4/9/20 on the official Outsidelands website that were not included on either list:
submitted by sconce2600 to OutsideLands [link] [comments]


2019.07.17 16:46 Kmudametal Babymetal Worldwide Press Over Last Month or So

This actually started out because I came across an article that had not yet been posted, which led to others, which led to.... what the hell, let's find them all. There is actually more but it started becoming tedious. :)
Do you think it's safe to say the media blackout of 2018 is over?
Billboard - Babymetal Perform First Show of 2019, Announce 'Metal Galaxy' World Tour
Metal Injection - BABYMETAL Reveal New Album Details, More Tour Dates
NME: BABYMETAL on their Glastonbury debut, Billie Eilish, working with Bring Me The Horizon and new album ‘Metal Galaxy’
Rocksound - BABYMETAL DROP NEW MUSIC VIDEO FOR ‘PA PA YA!!’
Rocksound - BABYMETAL TALK ‘METAL GALAXY’, ‘PA PA YA!!’, METALLICA & GLASTONBURY 2019
Brag Channels - Babymetal want to work with Bring Me The Horizon, praise Billie Eilish
Kerrang - BABYMETAL WANT TO COLLABORATE WITH BRING ME THE HORIZON
Kerrang - 13 ALBUMS TO STILL BE EXCITED ABOUT IN 2019
Kerrang - BABYMETAL’S NEW ALBUM IS “A NEW EVOLUTION OF KAWAII METAL”
Kerrang - IN PICTURES: BABYMETAL AT GLASTONBURY FESTIVAL 2019
Kerrang - BABYMETAL RELEASE NEW VIDEO FOR PA PA YA!! FEATURING A THIRD MEMBER
Kerrang - NEW MEMBER APPEARS WITH BABYMETAL AT GLASTONBURY?
Kerrang - LISTEN TO NEW BABYMETAL SONG PA PA YA!!
Kerran - BABYMETAL ANNOUNCE NEW ALBUM, METAL GALAXY, AND HEADLINE TOUR
Alt-Press - BMTH AREN’T “ACCEPTED BY THE METAL COMMUNITY,” JORDAN FISH SAYS
British GQ - We speak to ‘kawaii metal’ vanguards Babymetal about fox gods and Glastonbury
Metal Hammer - Babymetal wollen mit Bring Me The Horizon kollaborieren
Metal Hammer - Here’s what happened when Babymetal played Glastonbury
Metal Hammer - Babymetal announce new album Metal Galaxy
Metal Hammer - Metal Hammer Podcast: Glasto, Gojira and Babymetal
Metal Hammer - Why metal needs multiculturalism more than ever
South China Morning Post - Mongolian metal band The Hu take Europe by storm with unique live performances
Blabbermouth - BABYMETAL Explains Inspiration For 'Metal Galaxy' Album
Blabbermouth - BABYMETAL Releases New Single 'Pa Pa Ya!!'
Blabbermouth - AVATAR Vocalist On Upcoming Tour With BABYMETAL:
Ultimate Guitar -Babymetal Performs With New Member Live & in New Video, Identity Revealed
Ultimate Huitar - Babymetal Singer Explains How Recent Single Reflects Her Becoming Adult, Praises Billie Eilish
Ultimate Guitar - Babymetal: Our Musical Heroes Are Metallica
Ultimate Guitar - Babymetal Reveals Title + Release Date of New Album, Streaming New Single
Louder Than War- Babymetal: O2 Academy, Brixton – live photo review
Riff magazine - REWIND: Miles Davis, BABYMETAL and The Beatles celebrate World Chocolate Day
Dead Press - LIVE REVIEW: Babymetal @ O2 Brixton Academy, London (02/07/2019)
Dead Press - NEWS: Babymetal confirm UK tour for February 2020!
Complete Music Update - One Liners: Cold War Kids, Babymetal, Hellyeah, more
Surrey Live - BABYMETAL announce London Eventim Apollo show on UK tour - here's how to get tickets
Excite - 鞘師里保がBABYMETALで踊るまで… 永遠のライバル関係にあったSU-METALと二人の間に何があったのか
Excite - BABYMETAL、名古屋公演に藤平華乃が再登場 “アベンジャーズ”で鞘師里保と双璧なす
Real Sound - BABYMETALは壮大なエンターテインメントだ 3人のトライアングルが生んだ荘厳な光景
Bustle - Will Babymetal Tour The UK In 2019? The Band Are Entering A New Era
Spice - BABYMETAL 新体制初のワンマンは驚愕と熱狂に満ちた復活劇だった
Mikiki - 【西山瞳の鋼鉄のジャズ女】第16回 もう引き返せないところまできた! BABYMETAL横アリ公演をレポ
Natalie - BABYMETALがグラストンベリーから凱旋、名古屋で迎えた熱狂のMOAMETAL聖誕祭
Event - Babymetal im kommenden Februar wieder auf Deutschlandtour
Mariskal Rock- El elemento que intentas copiar se encuentra protegido mediante derechos de autor y pertenece a mariskalrock.com. Si deseas utilizar este medio para fines no comerciales, contacta con mariskalrock.com para solicitar autorizacion.MariskalRock.com, el portal de musica mas heavy
Rockin'on - BABYMETAL/横浜アリーナ
Tower Records - BABYMETAL、約3年半ぶりとなる3rdアルバム『METAL GALAXY』10月11日全世界同時リリース決定。ワールド・ツアーも開催
Tower Records - BABYMETAL、Perfume、Mrs. GREEN APPLEなど6月23日(日)~6月29日(土)に予約開始した主なJ-POP商品一覧
WHAT THE FACT“PAPAYA!!” บทเพลงสุดมันส์จาก “Babymetal” feat.”กอล์ฟ ฟักกลิ้ง ฮีโ่ร่” ที่เพลงหลุดก่อนปล่อยเกือบทำให้กอล์ฟถอดใจ
“ฟักกลิ้ง ฮีโร่” โกอินเตอร์ร่วมงาน BABYMETAL
NME Japan - BABYMETAL、初出演となったグラストンベリー・フェスティバルのステージについて語る
Mata Mata Music - BABYMETAL Hadirkan Personil Baru di Glastonbury?
RocknVox - Metal Galaxy: El título del tercer álbum de BABYMETAL
Rolling Stone Japan - BABYMETALライブレポ「新章を告げる生命力とピュアネス」
BABYMETAL anuncia terceiro disco de estúdio e lança a nova “Pa Pa Ya!
Orlando Weekly - Orlando is the first North American tour stop for Japanese pop-metal wunderkinds Babymetal
Whiplash - Babymetal: banda terá três novas integrantes se revezando
Whiplash - Babymetal: banda terá três novas integrantes se revezando
Inside Music - Nuovo album per le Babymetal: Metal Galaxy a ottobre
Stormbringer - BABYMETAL - Metal Galaxy World Tour
Smash Press - BABYMETAL naar Nederland
EventIM - #METALMITTWOCH mit Slayer, Babymetal, Sabaton u. a.
Anty Radio - Secret of the 3rd member of Babymetal disbanded. Who will replace Yuimetal?
GEKIROCK - BABYMETAL、横浜アリーナ公演に先駆け新たなサマー・メタル・ソング「PA PA YA!! (feat. F.HERO)」明日6/28配信リリース!
Billboard Japan - (BABYMETAL、2019年初ライブ開催&ニュー・アルバム詳細やワールドツアーを発表
Mynavi - ビリー・アイリッシュ、BABYMETALとの2ショットが実現
Real Sound - BABYMETAL、3rdアルバム『METAL GALAXY』世界同時発売 ツアー日本公演追加も
AFPBB News - 英野外音楽祭「グラストンベリー」、BABYMETALも初出演
JawaPos - Album Ketiga Babymetal Rilis Bulan Oktober
JawaPos - Gaet Rapper Thailand, Babymetal Rilis Lagu Baru “Pa Pa Ya!!”
Hai - Usai Glastonbury, BABYMETAL Ungkap Keinginan Kolaborasi Bareng BMTH
Teka Teki Member Ketiga Babymetal Terungkap
PA PA YA!! ฟักกลิ้ง ฮีโร่ โกอินเตอร์ร่วมงาน BABYMETAL เซอร์ไพร์สแฟนเพลง
Japaniac - Babymetal Kommt Nach Europa
Marvin - Babymetal comparte video en vivo para “PA PA YA!!”
Babymetal ohlašuje nové album banálním singlem "Pa Pa Ya!!"
Complete Music Update - One Liners: Bingley Music Live, Sheryl Crow, Babymetal, more
ACT Taiwan Article
BABYMETAL - "Metal Galaxy"-Album erscheint im Oktober
EDIT: Press from April to May 31
Loudwire - BABYMETAL ANNOUNCE 2019 U.S. TOUR WITH AVATAR
Blabbermouth - BABYMETAL Announces SummeFall U.S. Tour With AVATAR
MXDWN Music - Babymetal Unveils New Song “Elevator Girl” and Announces Fall 2019 US Tour Dates
Loudersound - Slipknot, Rob Zombie, Tool, Korn, Babymetal and more set for Aftershock 2019
Rocksound - AFTERSHOCK FESTIVAL JUST DROPPED THEIR LINE-UP, FEATURING SLIPKNOT, BLINK-182 + BRING ME THE HORIZON
Rocksound - BABYMETAL HAVE ANNOUNCED A ONE-OFF UK SHOW, AND A NEW SINGLE IS COMING NEXT MONTH
Rocksound - FALL OUT BOY, BABYMETAL, BRING ME THE HORIZON + MORE ANNOUNCED FOR SUMMER SONIC FESTIVAL
BBC News - Lewis Capaldi, Dave and Babymetal named on full Glastonbury line-up
CoS - Aftershock festival: Tool, Slipknot, Blink-182, Rob Zombie, Korn, Marilyn Manson lead 2019 lineup
CoS - Babymetal to release new album in 2019
Metal Injection - BABYMETAL To Release New Song Next Month, Announce First U.S. Show of 2019
Metal Hammer - Babymetal announce headline US tour
Ticket News - Greta Van Fleet, Babymetal Headline Wednesday Tickets On Sale
Kerrang - BABYMETAL ANNOUNCE U.S. TOUR WITH AVATAR
Billboard - BABYMETAL Announces New Album & Japan Arena Concerts
Billboard - BABYMETAL Announces Solo Headlining Concert at L.A.'s Forum in October
Revolver - SEE POPPY CHANNEL SLIPKNOT, BABYMETAL IN INSANE NEW "SCARY MASK" VIDEO
BABYMETAL Is Coming to Denver for a One-Night Performance!
Kerrang - BABYMETAL AND BRING ME THE HORIZON ARE PLAYING GLASTONBURY
Babymetal Shares 2019 Tour Dates: Ticket Presale Code & On-Sale Info
Washington Post - Just announced dc area shows/?
Dallas Observer - Mogwai, Phantogram, Babymetal and more announce Dallas shows
Rock My World - BABYMETAL Announce New Album
BABYMETAL、ニューアルバム発売&日本公演が決定 約3年ぶり雑誌表紙巻頭にも登場
BABYMETAL、英国の世界最大規模フェス「グラストンベリー・フェスティバル」初出演決定
NRR - Avatar drops “The Eagle Has Landed”, Hitting North America on World Tour and with BABYMETAL
BABYMETAL、アメリカで初のアリーナ公演開催。新曲“Elevator Girl”の先行配信も
BABYMETALが秋にアメリカツアー、フェス出演含む20公演
Babymetal announces the new album. When the premiere of the album?
JUST ANNOUNCED: BABYMETAL, FLYING LOTUS & MORE.
Babymetal: Un nouvel album en 2019
Mikael Akerfeld de Opeth defiende a Babymetal de las críticas
Babymetal opublikował nowy utwór "Elevator Girl" Więcej: https://www.antyradio.pl/Muzyka/Rock-News/Babymetal-opublikowal-nowy-utwor-Elevator-Girl-31657
BABYMETAL、『PMC』最新号の表紙巻頭に登場!「今の自分たちの決意をちゃんと伝えたかった」(SU-METAL)
Minneapolis Star Tribune - Ticket Alert: Jeremy Piven, Disney on Ice, Phantogram, Babymetal, Russian Ballet Theatre and more
変化を乗り越えたBABYMETAL、二人の証言から伝わるユニットとしての“強さ”
DID AFTERSHOCK ACCIDENTALLY LEAK THEIR LINEUP ON THEIR SITE?
Metal Sucks - Guns N’ Roses Allegedly Entering the Studio This Weekend
BABYMETAL、イギリス「Glastonbury Festival」初出演決定
BABYMETAL、アメリカのフェス「Aftershock 2019」への出演決定
BABYMETAL ANUNCIA ÁLBUM E DIVULGA PRIMEIRO SINGLE “ELEVATOR GIRL”
BABYMETAL、ニュー・シングル“Elevator Girl”の音源が公開
Metal Sucks - Shit That Comes Out Today: May 17th, 2019
Babymetal veröffentlicht zweite Single zum kommenden Album
submitted by Kmudametal to BABYMETAL [link] [comments]


2019.06.26 13:10 Scott_Savino Will Somebody Buy My Fuckin' House? -- Please?!

Everyone knew something about these Crow Kids they weren't sharing. It's some sort of town secret but we're outsiders. When I needed help to know what happened to Jenny these past few days, nobody was answering my questions.
"That's my little girl out there! She needs her Daddy! You people ain't telling me nothing I can use! Where's my daughter?"
They knew. Of course they knew. I could see it, despite their feigned looks of confusion. I could tell by the way they'd avert their eyes. They don't talk about the weird stuff that happens here. I don't neither. I'm not quite sure why. None of us do.
Wait.
I’m starting this off all wrong.
------
I need to tell you about the house I got for sale. It's listed by MountainSun Kentucky Realty.
New Listing - 467 Webber St, Bradenville
Think about taking the drive out to have a look. Maybe it's for you? It's real affordable.
It’s a 3 bedroom but one of them is more of an office. That one's downstairs. We have a big open plan. The first floor’s got living spaces and that office. The other bedrooms and bathrooms are upstairs. About 2,382 square feet total. I've got it priced under market. Upkept really well though it may not look modern outside, all of the fixtures and some of the plumbing are new from right after Jenny and I moved in.
Bradenville is a small, quiet town. A little slice of Americana where the mailman still walks door to door. People say hello to strangers. If you do something uneducated, somebody's mamma is liable to place her hand on her chest and mutter 'bless your heart' with a smile. It’s a beautiful place to live, too. My daughter Jenny and I moved here almost three years ago and fell in love with it. The people here are your salt-of-the-earth types. Hardworking, God fearing, enjoying the simpler side of Kentucky living. It's true what they say about Bradenville. If you come to live here, you'll stay till you die.
The house I got for sale ain’t one of those cookie-cutter ones you can buy anywhere in the country. You know the kind I mean. It was built by someone’s own two hands. You don’t want to live in some new development called Begonia Heights or Lavender Ridge or whatever other pretentious bullshit the places where you live are called. You want to live here.
Webber Street is Webber Street and Main Street is Main. These streets have normal names; not the breeds of birds or anything stupid. Every house is unique. These are places made with spirit and character built to raise your family in. My house is almost 100 years old now. A house like this one might even outlive you.
If it’s not big enough, it would be easy to add onto. When Rhiannon nextdoor got pregnant did she and Paul and their other two kids pack up and move? Heck no, goddamn them. They called a man, measured some walls, and added on another room. That was Rihannon's great grandma's place. That family’s gonna love that house for another 100 years to come. Beyond that even, till they're all dead and gone and the memory of them fades. That's how you're supposed to treat a home; take care of it and it takes care of you.
We don’t have an HOA so you can paint it any color under the rainbow you like once it's yours. I think my place would be the perfect spot for you. I'm sure you can afford it. The cost of living ain't much.
There's freedom in the country. You can feel it the moment you step outside and into the breeze. The colors seem brighter and you can hear the spirit of the place like a breeze through bluegrass. Warm music that fades into hazy memories. It's in the air here even if music ain’t playing. You'll see. The moment you take in the views, your brain will conjure up the sound of Ricky Skaggs singing "Bury Me Beneath The Weeping Willow" or something akin to that. Or maybe you'll think "All The Trouble" by Lee Ann Womaok, or Mumford and Sons or something that’s more current. Whatever country music is to you, that’s what you’ll think of. When you see the forest behind the place with mountains rolling up like a distant backdrop looking down on the sprawl of town that grew in the shadow, you're bound to get some melody. It'll start screaming like an earworm, burrowing its way into your bruised apple of a skull.
I don’t think I can do this. I won’t trick you like this. What I need is for you to buy my fucking house so me and my little girl can get the fuck out of here. Can't you do that? Can anyone out there reading this help me? Please? I'll give you whatever you want.
------
I bought the house with insurance money after my husband passed. Before he died, Daniel and I adopted Jenny to start a family. She was a little thing with strawberry-blonde ringlets and bright blue eyes, squirming and rolling around her crib. Wrapped in a blanket, like a wriggling bundle. I called her ‘Slug.’ And when I saw how much Daniel hated it, ‘Slug’ became my thing.
“Quit it!” He said, “that’s no nickname for a baby!”
“Of course it is!” I said, “Wooket squirmy wormy Jenny-Slug!”
She’d laugh, not knowing about the fuss. It was attention, that’s all.
“That’s gross!” Daniel said. "She looks more like a bird in an egg. You can call her Bird."
"Naw. I'll call her Slug. She can call me Daddy and you'll be Dad."
His ears turned red every time I called her that and I would laugh with her while he seethed. We always made fun of each other. That was the best time.
One of the things I loved best was how he kept on about moving to a place like this.
“When I was a kid in Kentucky,” he said as his eyes went glossy and bright with longing. “I remember the air...so fresh...the temperature...”
One awful morning, I woke up and Daniel was gone. He didn’t leave. His body was right there beside me, cold.
Jenny was turning 5; suddenly our family changed and it was just the 2 of us. I took the loss like dodging a rain of cinderblocks that didn’t stop for weeks. Some days I did okay. Other days I’d be covered until I was buried. I’d lay tangled in sheets, crying and too weak to move. Forget about getting back on my feet. I wasn’t even trying to stand. Instead of our forever-home in the country, I moved into a dark, dilapidated place inside myself. People talked to me, but I was walled in. Nothing they said made sense through the bricks.
Sleep apnea? My father snored all his life. People can’t die from snoring.
It didn’t make sense; I didn’t want it to. It wasn’t fair. He was 31 years old. He’d be 34 and a half now. It’s too young. We were just getting started.
Only Grandfathers are allowed to die in their sleep.
I hid depression as well as I could from Jenny. I saw the shrink. I took my pills. I wanted to teach her about being strong. I couldn’t do that if I kept falling apart in the dark. I needed to come out of this place, for her.
As for Jenny, it was bad for her at first. Being so young, I knew she didn’t understand much of it; not the funeral nor what she saw me going through. I wonder how much of this stays with her when she’s grown. I made 11 years worth of memories with him. Would she get to keep any of hers at all? I don't remember anything from when I was 5.
Could she remember the way they played teddy bears' tea party and the stupid voices he gave to every one of them? How he pushed her on the swings while she begged to go higher at the park?
“Higher! Higher please!”
"I can't push you higher, Little Bird!" He told her, "You'll get better hugs from the clouds and fly away from us forever." All three of us laughed.
She doesn’t have our genes, but I joke she got her imagination from his side of our family.
What if she don't remember him? What if the memories she keeps for him are how I fell apart when he'd gone?
I was going to give her that life he always wanted. I bought this house trying to do just that. Now we’re stuck here.
------
In Bradenville, people are friendly, you get to know them pretty quick. They’ll talk your ear off if in the checkout line if you let them. By the time Jenny was 6 we were well known throughout town. Yet a gay single father in a small town in Kentucky becomes adept at eluding the subject of partners. I didn't give much away. That’s how it was at first. I kept people from getting too close. That's how I was raised. I wasn’t hiding secrets. I just wasn’t walking around passing out copies of a biography. It wasn’t their business.
I found out Kariann Nathan, the local busybody, pieced all of the bits of information together and told everyone. Everyone. If you’ve lived in a small town you know there ain’t much room for secrets. It was a hassle, but different to what I expected. You forget the world of 30 years ago is gone now. Few people cared about my business. Most wanted to talk to me more. If the people of Bradenville were vaguely sweet prior, they became overly saccharine overnight.
------
I stared at the wall of canned vegetables, deep in thought when I heard, “Hey, ain’t it Eric Parker?”
Great.
An enormous creature was moving toward me clutching a purse that was lined with a layer of fuzzy black feathers.
“I thought that was you!” She called out.
Jenny looked up to give a knowing glance before returning her attention to the knots in her doll’s hair. I felt my body tense. I kept shopping nonchalantly, hoping she would leave.
“Yep, that’s me.” I kept my tone as casual and dismissive as possible. I knew what was coming. I reached for a can of green beans.
“Hi! I’m Patty Filmore.”
“Oh, Ms. Filmore, hi!” I replied pretending to read the label, “ It’s nice to see you again.”
I could see her smile creep its way up her cheeks, not quite reaching her eyes. She looked at me as though in initiating this brief exchange, she found some exotic treasure. “I just wanted to say, I think it’s great...what you’re doing.”
I looked up. “Oh?” I said, “Thank you. They say that this one needs a full pyramid of options for a well balanced dinner, and vegetables have to be on the menu. Gotta make sure she gets her greens.”
“I don’t like green beans!” Jenny squealed.
“That’s too bad Slug! The police said if I buy them, you gotta eat them or it's jailtime."
"No! Daddy don't buy them then!"
"Sorry, honey." I said, "them’s the rules."
“You know that’s not what I meant, silly.” Patty began again. She was still here. Why didn’t she leave? Given no reason to end the conversation, she resumed talking. A blush spread across her face.
“I do.” I said.
“My daddy doesn't like you, I don't think.” Jenny said without looking up.
“Jenny!” She gave me a look and a shrug and went back to fixing Barbie’s hair. "You don’t talk to people like that. It’s not polite.”
“Sorry, lady.” Jenny whispered. Still she didn’t look up. She knew she wasn’t in trouble. Daddy’s little spitfire was sometimes a brat on purpose. It was part of our deal.
“Ain’t she something,” Patty said. She chuckled and placed her hand over her massive breast adding, “bless your heart. You must be a handful.”
“That she is,” I said. “Ain’t you Slug?” Patty frowned at the nickname.
Good.
“I bet it’s hard doing this all by yourself.” She said.
“It’s not hard. We got each other.”
“Well,” Patty said, “when you’re ready to start dating again, My cousin Cricket would sure like to meet someone like you. He's good with kids. They like him.”
Cricket. Who in the name of God is called Cricket? Yes, I understand irony. Don’t care.
“Thank you, I’ve got my hands full now. Like you said.”
“If you change your mind, I can pass the word along.”
“That’s very kind. Lunchtime’s coming so we’d better go. This one gets a little bit ruder than this if she don’t get her juicebox.”
Patty laughed and wished us a good day before walking off.
“Daddy?"
“Slug?”
“She looked like a big fat bird.”
I laughed, “don’t call people names, okay?”
I bought Jenny some Skittles on the way out. A reward for her part in the interaction but I didn’t tell her. She probably knew. She’s a smart kid. I didn’t want to teach her to be rude, but the conversation ended more quickly than it would have without.
------
The week Jenny started Kindergarten was hard for me. I just kept thinking about Daniel and how he should be posing for the photos on her first big day with us.
Time marches on.
Jenny learned school lessons fast and made friends just as quickly. She got close with Rhiannon and Paul’s kids nextdoor long before the new baby. Dixon and Lincoln were funny boys and the Parishes quickly became the only real friends I made here. We took turns babysitting the 3 kids, their 2 and Slug, while they enjoyed date night. They'd look after Jenny on the few nights I went out myself. Usually, I went to the movies or someplace I could be alone with my thoughts.
One afternoon, they were in the backyard, hands tucked up under their armpits like chickens, running single-file in circle. Paul had to run to Lexington for work. I offered to watch the kids so Rhiannon could join him for the long ride.
The first time I heard it was that day. I set a plate of PB&J sandwiches on the picnic table in the yard and heard the boys teaching it to Jenny. It sounded like Ring-Round-The-Rosy, but the rhyme was different. She picked up on it quickly because she already knew the tune.
Crow kids are liars.
Eyes are black and beady.
Ignore the things they say because
They're all wet from their sleeping.
Feathers, feathers, you'll fly upsidedown.
I laughed. “What the heck is that song?” I asked the boys.
“Crow Kids song?” Dixon, the younger boy replied with a scoff. “Everybody knows that one.”
“I never heard it,” I said.
“Sure you have. Everyone has.” Dixon said.
Lincoln’s eyes grew as wide and white as eggs. “Shhhh,” He scolded his younger brother. The whisper was harsh. I pretended not to hear. I felt a strange pang of curiosity and fear at once when Lincoln’s face became dark and serious, “They’re not from here." He said. "They don’t know.”
Something about that stuck with me. It didn’t help that Jenny learned the whole thing, reciting it frequently after.
Crow Kids are liars.
Mouths are hard and beaky.
They're flying on the bottom,
And they’re offering their teaching.
Feathers, feathers, you'll fly upsidedown.
"Honey can you quit singing that? Gives me the creeps."
"All the kids sing it, Daddy."
I didn’t realize it meant anything until last weekend.
------
A lot of time passed and Jenny was getting taller every day. Growing up quicker than I liked. You want them to stay kids forever but they don’t care what you want.
By last weekend, Rhiannon was very pregnant. 9 months and 5 days. The addition was built and the nursery was furnished and painted blue, eagerly awaiting baby boy number 3.
Paul was there when I left Jenny at the house. I wouldn’t leave her to bother someone about to go into labor. Rhiannon needed rest, not to watch my kid chase her boys in the yard.
"Are you sure it’s okay?" I asked.
"Oh, yea," Rhiannon said. "I've been holding on longer than I'm supposed to already. Another hour won't change anything."
Normally I work from home. I take meetings on video chat and design e-commerce sites for companies all over. Last weekend, a local t-shirt company contacted me for a quote. It was only going to take an hour.
"I won't be long." I told them.
Paul told me to take my time.
I got the job but it doesn't matter. Not now.
Returning home, I walked over there. The boys were on the porch, turning the worn pages of a weathered comic. Their backs against the railing.
"What's this one say?" Dixon asked, pointing to the page.
"Says he doesn't feel pain. He is pain." Lincoln read, "says 'I know it at a molecular level.' Pulls at his atoms and sings to him in an alphabet of fear."
Jesus Christ.
Dixon is 8. Lincoln is older but he's still only 10. Where did they find this thing? I began to worry about the level of supervision Jenny had here.
"Hey boys," I began. They didn’t hear me approach and they both jumped. "Your mom and dad inside with Jenny?"
"They're at the hospital." Dixon said. "Mom said the baby's coming and they both ran out of here real fast." He followed making a noise like a car peeling out. I glanced at the driveway noticing the fresh black from the tires.
"Oh." Shit. "Uh. Okay. Is Jenny inside?"
"No, Mr. Eric," Dixon said, "it's just us."
"She went with them to the hospital?" I heard my own voice anxious and raw. My throat grew dry. I felt like I was floating somewhere else. I grabbed the porch railing to steady myself.
"No, Mr. Eric," Dixon said again. The younger boy grew quiet, "she's gone."
"What--what do you mean she's gone?" It came out a mumbled stammer.
Dixon looked at the ground. Lincoln didn’t look up at all the whole time that I stood there.
"What do you mean she's gone?!" I said again. My voice was louder than I'd meant for it to be. "Lincoln look at me. Tell me what your brother means."
"You're too late."
I wanted to slap the shit out of him. I kept reminding myself he was just a kid and not my kid.
I glanced frantically around the yard. I looked inside through the windows. "Boys, where is she?"
They were quiet. It was the longest moment of my life, stretching on and on forever. I felt my stomach churn. I was going to be sick.
"She left with the Crow Kids." Dixon said shuffling his feet. "They're gonna teach her to fly."
I dialed 911.
"Hi." I said. "I'm at 467 Webber Street. I need help please. Now."
"What is the nature of the emergency sir?" The operator asked.
"I just." I couldn't find the words. If I did. If I said them, that would make it real. "467 Webber. I need… I need help please."
"What is the nature of the emergency?"
"Neighbor's. Um. She's not here. I left her. Babysitter. Missing. Daughter. Gone." The lightheadedness intensified and the world went black.
"Sir? Sir? Can you hear me? Are you there? You said your daughter’s missing? Is that correct? Sir? If you can hear me, I'm sending a car there now, an ambulance too. Sir? Are you still there? Sir?"
------
I woke surrounded by people. Lincoln was talking to an officer, a woman in mirrored sunglasses. I could hear it but just barely.
"Mama said the baby couldn't come. There'd be too many." Lincoln's voice was shrill but calm. "So Daddy told me and Dixon to take her to the creek and introduce--"
"That's enough." The woman said softly. "I'm gonna see if Mr. Varney can take you boys to the hospital to meet up with your mama and daddy." She led the kids over to another officer.
They exchanged some words I couldn't make out, but I did hear her say something else to him turning away: "Tell the Parishes I wanna speak to them. Legacy or not, doesn't excuse you from our laws."
She started up to where the paramedics attended me, stooping down to pick up the comic book. Rolling it, she stuck it into her back pocket.
"Wait!" Lincoln's voice came from somewhere in the yard, "tell her to give back my comic!"
"Little boy, that's my boss. I don't tell her nothing. Besides this town's spooky enough without you filling your heads with more bullshit. Come along, ya hear me?"
"Is he good?" The woman asked one of the paramedics.
"For now."
"I need to ask him a few questions."
"He might not stay good then. This was a panic attack"
"I'm fine," I said sitting up. Slowly, I got up with the help of the paramedics on shaking knees. "What did he tell you? Where is she? Something about the creek?"
"Mr. Parker," the woman began, "I don't think we've met. I'm Sheriff Downs, but you can call me Tawnie."
I huffed out a sigh, "I know who you are, Tawnie,” I said trying to conceal my anger. "Where did he say she went?"
"He didn't give me much info, but I already called the pastor from the church up the road. He's got everybody's telephones and we'll get a party out here to search." She sucked her teeth and put her hands on her hips. "She ever run off before?"
I sat in one of the rocking chairs near the door and put my hands over my face. I could feel the wet of tears on my palms. I wasn’t aware I was crying.
"No. She's 8 years old."
"We’ll find her." She said.
"What do you need from me? Like a doll or some clothes or something?"
She looked confused, "come again?" She asked.
"For the dogs."
"I'm sorry Mr. Parker, we don't have resources for them kinda dogs." I felt my heart sink and settle in my feet. "Might be someone in the search party's got a hunting dog they'll bring. I guess. Keep that in mind. We’ll start at the treeline and the woods behind your property."
The wrong direction. Lincoln said something about the creek. The creek was across the road, and through the field beyond Hayes Jackson's property. Why would she want to look on the wrong side of the street?
I looked up at her, "Why?"
"That's where she's likely to be, Mr. Parker." She explained.
I didn't understand. "But why think that? Why not start at the creek?"
She looked at me a bit confused, "the creek's about a mile off that direction. She probably wouldn't go off that far."
"But that boy was--"
"That boy's full of fish tales. Takes after his daddy." She said, "he don't mean to be a liar, he's what, 9 or 10? He don't understand what he's doing."
I felt moving in the pit of my stomach, an unease, squirming like an eel. "What if it’s the truth?"
"Enough people from town will come and we can split in 2." Her voice was sympathetic but her face betrayed something else entirely. What was it? Pity? No. That wasn't it. Annoyance. My suggestions were annoying her. She probably didn't want to search at all.
"I can come over to the creek if you want to start there," she said. "We’ll send another team out yonder in the woods. We can cover more ground that way."
"He was trying to tell you something else," I said.
"I don't think he was." She said. I searched her face for any hint of compassion. All I saw of it was a tired, weathered mask beginning to slip. She was lying to me and not very good at it. She didn't care if we ever found Jenny. It was in her eyes.
"I think it was something about the Crow kids. Is that a family name? Crow?"
She sighed, "No Mr. Parker. Like I said: 'fish tales.' No family named Crow, just a small-town urban legend. Ain't no Crow Kids. Just made up stories. I don't remember how it goes. Kids been talking about them since before I was born. Get blamed for everything bad. They ain't real."
------
Many responding to Pastor Thomas's call arrived in hiking boots and thick pants. Some came wielding machetes and heavy duty loppers to clear paths through the brush. Nobody came with a hunting dog. A woman named Sheryl lumbered up to me where I stood in my driveway. Her arms were laden with paper sacks from the grocery store.
“All these people are gonna need to eat,” she said matter-of-fact as I led her inside and showed her around the kitchen.
I found it reassuring that so many people in town came already prepared to comb the woods and the creek beyond the Jackson property like they’d done it before. A few even brought maps of both spots, dogeared and well used, some marked the grids of previous searches. It wasn’t until later that I realized how troubling that should have been.
How many times did they do this before? What exactly was going on?
------
We searched for 6 hours, stopping before sundown. A large folding table was set up in my yard. Jim Thomas was unloading metal chairs from the back of the church van. The mood was painfully cheery as the town crowded around Sheryl’s spread of impromptu home cooking. Somehow she found enough time to bake 5 or 6 chickens, 4 hams, a few gallons of mashed potatoes, sweet potato pie and corn to go around. In just 6 hours in my tiny kitchen. From two paper sacks from Rife’s Grocery. It didn’t add up. I didn’t question it. There were more important questions. I held them in until everyone left except for Sheryl and Pastor Thomas’s wife who both stayed to clean up.
“I have to ask you ladies something,” I said coming through the kitchen door, my arms piled with serving utensils and trays.
“Oh my,” Gwen Thomas came rushing over, relieving the load I carried, “you stop right there and don’t do a thing.” She unloaded the dishes in the sink and led me over to my breakfast table.
“You’ve had a long day,” Sheryl said bringing over a steaming mug of black coffee “You leave the washing up to us.”
“I need to ask you two ladies something.” I said again. I weighed the implications of the question in my mind. Did I want to hear the answer?
I needed to know.
“Everybody seems to have done this before.”
“Mmm.” Gwen murmured as she scrubbed at the pans in the sink, “once or twice.”
I could see Sheryl in my periphery. She bit her lower lip, looking nervous and smearing some of her cheap lipstick on her teeth.
“I think it’s more than that.” I reasoned, “some of those maps looked pretty creased. Most of them had lines drawn too.”
We shared an uncomfortable silence. Eventually, silence was stalled by a chime from Mrs. Thomas’s phone. She looked relieved as she read the text.
“It’s Jim,” she said, “I should go. He’s wondering where I’m at.” On her way toward the front door, she stopped to place her hand on my shoulder, “I’m really sorry this is happening.”
I took a deep breath as she left and continued my questions. “Are you gonna pretend nothing’s up too?”
Sheryl sighed and I could see tears welling up in her eyes. “We ain’t supposed to talk about it. They might hear.”
“My daughter’s missing.” I said, “I need to find her. The boys nextdoor said--”
“I know what they said,” She wiped a tear away, “ain’t the first time.”
“Nobody will tell me,” I said pleading now, “I need to find my daughter.”
“It’s this town,” she said, “you need to find a way to leave as soon as you can. It ain’t easy but soon enough you can’t. You’ll be just like the rest of us. Get out.”
She wouldn’t explain further about the Crow Kids.
“I gotta go,” she said excusing herself. “I already said too much.” She showed herself out into the night, crying as she went.
We looked for 3 more days. Each day was met with fewer searchers, fewer answers, and more questions than I could count.
On day 4, I looked alone.
On day 5, I found her.
------
I wasn’t sleeping more than an hour or 2 at a time. Even drinking myself to oblivion was no relief. I was slowly losing hope, tossing and turning in bed as the hours continued to spin away with agonizing ticks from the clocks that continued measuring time despite me.
Paul and Rhiannon’s house remained dark as each sleepless night pressed forward. Good riddance. I wanted to hurt them. All of them. If not for their negligence, she would still be here, but I felt instinctively something more sinister was happening in Bradenville. It was the one piece of golden clarity I clung to as my life became a hazy tunnel of broken consciousness and deep dark dreams. Everything was diluted, and I sank into the inky black of the still and dark seas of depression.
I cried, and I drank, and searched, and did little else. I couldn’t recall the last time I ate and I didn't care because I never felt anything. I was Nothing now, and Nothing don’t feel hungry. My phone rang with calls from angry clients and their emails beeped notifications endlessly. They wondered why their projects sat unfinished? Why was I ignoring them?
Didn’t they know? I was building walls to die behind and diving further and further down.
When Jenny--my little bright eyed Jennifer--disappeared, the neighbors who’d known where she went disappeared and I disappeared too.
We’re sorry, the person you are trying to reach is unavailable at this time. Please try your call later.
As I walked, I could feel my insides bursting and dropping out with each step along the edge of the creek. This was the bottom and the pressure of the hopeless depths was crushing what was left. I continued to look, despite the lack of clues or answers. Sheriff Downs was no help. She began screening my calls because she was a worthless lying bitch. I must have left over a dozen disjointed, confusing messages as I drunkenly slurred into the phone. Slowly, I accepted there wouldn’t be answers. It didn’t take long to realize I was wasting my time.
My mind was locked in a downward spinning drain. A bathtub filled the glass of broken gin bottles and disjointed memories as I felt what was left of me circle away.
My daddy doesn’t like you.
Eyes are black and beady.
Higher and higher please!
All wet from their sleeping…
I think I vaguely recall Sheryl visiting me. Perhaps she brought food that she forced on me, or maybe I imagined her visits entirely? Maybe she came every day. I think she called my clients back. Explained to them. The phone stopped making noise. I should have thanked her, but I couldn’t because I was gone.
The voicemail is full and cannot accept messages at this time.
Her kindness did not erase her as part of the problem. Not a single person in town would give me a straight answer about what they knew. They definitely knew something. I stopped asking or speaking to any of them at all. I resigned myself to the unanswered questions and the prospect of wasting away. I walked the edge of the creek for shorter and shorter hours every day.
We're sorry. You have reached a number that has been disconnected or is no longer in service. If you feel this is an error, please check the number dialed and try again.
My seeking grew evermore listless. The people here were monsters in plain sight spinning webs in the shadows. Southern charm and hospitality were ghosts haunting me and people began to look away from the silent wraith with the thousand yard stare that floated at the edge of their awareness and along the edge of the stream.
Thank you for calling. Goodbye.
The night that I found her, I woke up to take a leak. Lifting the seat, I began to empty my bladder staring out the second story window and into the night.
I rubbed my eyes and felt the harsh hand of sobriety shake me.
She was there. In the yard. Jenny. My Jenny. A little boy with shoulder length hair stood with her. They gazed up, motionless, staring through the window and through me. A large black bird sat on the boy’s shoulder and pecked at his hair as it flitted in the breeze. A second flew above them, the moonlight casting a shadow as it traced figure-8s. A third hopped in the dewy grass, pecking at nightcrawlers. Finding them with adept, psychic knowledge of where they hid, it pulled them free from the earth and swallowed them whole.
I stood there for seconds stretching on into forever and didn’t move, and they didn’t move either. Nobody moved except those crows. Breaking free from confusion, I ran down the stairs. Grabbing my keys from the kitchen counter, I tucked them into the waistband of my underwear, darting out the door. The night was chilly on my bare chest despite the heat that still lingered in the damp of the grass. The air was thick and oppressive with the humid memory of that forgotten summer rain.
She was gone. Both children were gone. I felt my heart sink. Was I hallucinating?
Perched on the powerlines above, a crow cawed in the darkness and took flight. I didn’t think about it and ran. I followed its shadow as it crossed the asphalt and cast darkness over the Jackson house and toward the creek.
I heard the chorus of frogs before I heard the water and I felt my breath hitch, stopping dead in my tracks when it came into view. Earlier in the day, I would have guessed the water at my chest at least, but now under the stars it was mostly gone. It flowed like clotted mucus, less than ankle deep and the uneven creekbed rose up like a muddy patchwork.
Overhead, dozens of crows circled the dark shapes that sood in the canal. I didn’t count the muddy children, gazing up at the sky. Occasionally one of the murder dove to land on one. They pecked at their faces, violently piercing mouths, ears and eyes. Cheeks. Necks. At a distance, I could see many were full of holes. The ragged skin of their faces pecked so often. Torn and bloodless. The kids didn’t flinch or react. They stood motionless as though they weren’t the feast spread for hungry birds at all.
I moved forward slowly, my feet cutting a cautious path toward the muddy edges as the din of the frogs grew ever louder around me. Their song became one uninterrupted note and amid that, I heard the voices of the children. The Crow Kids were squacking like birds.
"Take a dip.”
“Take a dive.”
“The water here’s just fine."
"Sink with us forever"
"We’ll teach you how to fly."
"Don’t you want to be a crow?"
"You’ll never know if you don’t try."
"Come soar with us through clouds of muck beneath our murky sky.”
My head swam with their voices. The children's rhyme came to me, blotting them out completely.
Crow Kids are liars.
Eyes are black and beady.
Ignore the things they say because
They're all wet from their sleeping.
Feathers, feathers, you'll fly upsidedown.
Crow Kids are liars.
Mouths are hard and beaky.
They're flying on the bottom,
And they’re offering their teaching.
Feathers, feathers, you'll fly upsidedown.
All of the voices spoke at once, but somehow, I could still pick the words out.
"Do you want to fly?"
"Sink with us."
"We'll teach you how to fly, Mr. Eric."
As I drew closer it was like I could feel them inside me. Over endless cries of the crows and frogs, and screaming of the kids at once. I began to hear whispers of other things…
“You don’t have to do it here. Maybe in the tub, or at the public pool? Fly down and stay there ‘till you drown.”
I don’t know why, but I found I actually wanted to do those things. My head was a rotten apple and the whispers, the worm. The crows knew it was hiding there, and they began to dive at me, longing to peck it out. Eager to pull it free. I swatted at them and cowered.
Where was Jenny? Was she here? There! Near the tangled roots of a tree on the opposite bank. I ran to her, shoving the children and the birds away as I went. As I neared, she reached out to me. I lifted her from the mud with some effort, feet squelching as they broke free from the suck of it. I trudged back the way I’d come, fighting the pull of the creekbed with Jenny’s added weight. The filth was pulling my heels and wrapping around my ankles.
“Where are we going Daddy?” Jenny asked. Her voice was quiet and dazed as we reached our driveway..
“We’re leaving, Slug.” I told her. I put her into the passenger seat of my car and drove.
Bradenville is not a large town. There are two roads leading in and out. Main Street goes north and south. Webber heads east and west. We lived on Webber and either direction would lead us out of this hellhole forever. All I needed to do was drive and we could be safe.
Fog was rising up from the asphalt as I cut our path west.
"I don't want to leave Daddy." Jenny murmured as we approached the edge of town. I glanced over her in the passenger seat. Her eyes were far away like distant stars. "I want to stay here so I can learn to fly."
Her voice gave me chills. Something was wrong, but the hand painted sign ahead gave me hope.
"Thanks For Visiting Bradenville, Y'all Come Back Now!"
The deer came out of nowhere and I slammed my brakes, narrowly missing. It leapt just past my hood at a hairpin angle and the massive buck changed its path to run out ahead of us in the road, where it disappeared.
It physically disappeared. An entire 8-point buck vanished in the center of the road.
I couldn’t shake the feeling that something wasn’t right. Something was very wrong, and driving again, I learned why very soon.
The deer reappeared at the side of the road next to another sign. I was sure it was that same deer but not the same sign. Frozen in the lights, its eyes stared back at us like two pools of light before it spooked and bounded into the trees.
The sign next to where it stood read “Welcome To Bradenville, population: 2127”
This was the east end of town. We drove west out of town and we were on the east side, reentering now. Why? I drove up a little ways and stopped just past the sign. The painting on the back of it was the same as the one we’d just passed but we never turned around. How was this possible?
I tried to leave a few more times only to end up back at the beginning, on the opposite compass point of the road we traveled. I even tried Main Street to the same result. Finally, I headed home.
Sheryl stood in my driveway with Hayes Jackson at her side.
“Oh Jesus Christ.” She muttered as we pulled up, “he found her. He fuckin’ found her.”
“Nobody finds them.” Jackson whispered as I got out.
Slamming the door of the car, I moved around the front of it with fury at my back intent on letting the two of them have it. “WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON!” I demanded.
“Now calm down, Eric.” Jackson said holding up his hands, “we ain’t got nothing to do with any of this. We’re all stuck. We come to tell you some things you ought to know.”
Sheryl looked terrified, “We gotta go inside. You can’t tell how you heard none of this, ya hear me?”
------
They told me the Crow Kids like playing games. Nobody knew what they were, but they seemed like they might be a ghost or demon. You can’t touch em or see ‘em most times, they just creep into your mind. They find you when you’re low and whisper sweet lies about drowning. Them dark whispers I heard that night, they fly into your head on black wings. They’re spirits of the drowned and their numbers been growing slowly as far back as their song goes. Everyone who grew up here knows those awful lines.
Ghosts. They said you can’t touch em or see em. That’s how come I know my Jenny ain’t one. She’s here. They eyed her warily and told me it ain’t her, but I know Slug. She ain’t talking much, but it’s her and she’s breathing. She ain’t dead like the others.
Sheryl and Jackson explained everything in whispers. Everything I wanted to know over the slow chords of “Delia’s Gone” as it played in repeat in the background. The population of this place don’t change. It ain’t allowed to. It’s been 2127 people here as far back as any town records go. You can’t go unless someone else swaps you out.
This is why I’m begging y’all, someone please come buy this fucker? I need two of y’all out there to come take our places. You don’t have to stay forever. You can pass this place onto someone else like someone else did to me. I bought it and I'm selling it cheap. You can buy and someone else will come along sooner than you think and buy it off you again. It doesn’t have to be a permanent arrangement for you. I know it might seem like you're perpetuating a cycle but I'm begging. We just need two people to come live here so I can get Slug some help. Ain’t there any kindness in you? She ain’t the same now. I don’t know if she ever will be. I won’t look for help here. We need to leave. She’s just a little girl and I’m dying here because I can’t get her out and we ain’t safe while we stay.
Especially after what happened yesterday, please just come buy it. I was lying in bed to rest and I could hear Jenny whispering something but I couldn't quite make it out. When I opened my eyes she wasn't there. I figured she must have run off. I wouldn't hear it because now she moves quiet like a mouse. I got up and began searching for her.
I found her at the bottom of the bathtub, her eyes were open wide and blue and staring up to someplace far away. She wasn’t under the water for long because when I pulled her out, she drew in a long, slow breath. Blinked a few times. Cleared water from her eyes. She asked where Dad went.
She told me Daniel was just there hugging her in the clouds. She remembered him and we could join him. It was simple. We just have to find the way down.
ss
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2019.01.02 21:57 sconce2600 The List: 2019

The Lineup is out, bold denotes acts that ended up on the lineup
This is a list of acts that are potentially playing OSLs 2019. I intend to update this list via edit from now until the lineup drop. If you want to add someone to this list just comment below and I will modify the list and credit your handle next to the edit. If you want to find someone in particular quickly I suggest you use ctrl F.
POTENTIAL HEADLINERS
POTENTIAL UNDERCARD:
Playing eight tracked festivals
Playing six tracked festivals
Playing five tracked festivals
Playing four tracked festivals
Playing three tracked festivals
Playing two tracked festivals
Playing one tracked festival
Added by users, not currently playing any heavy crossover festivals so far
The following have appeared at OSLs once before but have not released new material since their first stint and are therefore less likely to appear in 2019 (To date only Beck and Vance Joy have returned WITHOUT new material, making the following acts much less likely)
The following is a list of bands that have played OSLs more than once and the gaps between return performances, considering only five acts have ever played OSLs three times, all acts in this section should be considered less likely than acts that have played OSLs once or never. Note that no act has ever returned quicker than a three year gap, Givers, Fantastic Negrito, and Big Boi were all makeup performances for prior year cancellations.
Headliners
Threepeaters
Three year gap
Four year gap
Five year gap
Six year gap
Seven year gap
Eight year gap
Ten year gap
The following are past lineup drop dates, all lineup drops from 2012 to 2018 have occurred on a Tuesday:
ACTS CONFIRMED PRIOR TO LINEUP DROP:
NAMES THAT ULTIMATELY ENDED UP ON THE LINEUP THAT WERE ON NEITHER LIST (26):
submitted by sconce2600 to OutsideLands [link] [comments]


2018.04.09 04:08 sconce2600 What the list's end game COULD HAVE looked like if it was just the top ten crossover festivals along with user additions.

The Lineup has been released! Bold denotes acts that ended up on the lineup.
POTENTIAL HEADLINERS
POTENTIAL UNDERCARD:
Playing seven major U.S. festivals
Playing six major U.S. festivals
Playing five major U.S. festivals
Playing four major U.S. festivals
Playing three major U.S. festivals
Playing two major U.S. festivals
Playing one major U.S. festival
Added by users, not currently playing any major U.S. festivals so far
The following have appeared at OSLs once before but have not released new material since their first stint and are therefore less likely to appear in 2018 (To date only Beck and Vance Joy have returned WITHOUT new material making the following acts much less likely)
The following is a list of bands that have played OSLs more than once and the gaps between return performances, considering only two acts have ever played OSLs three times, all acts in this section should be considered less likely than acts that have played OSLs once or never. Note that no act has ever returned quicker than a three year gap, Givers, Fantastic Negrito, and Big Boi were all makeup performances for prior year cancellations.
Headliners
Threepeaters
Three year gap
Four year gap
Five year gap
Six year gap
Seven year gap
Eight year gap
The following are past lineup drop dates, all lineup drops from 2012 to 2017 have occurred on a Tuesday:
ACTS CONFIRMED PRIOR TO LINEUP DROP:
NAMES THAT WERE NOT ON EITHER LIST THAT ULTIMATELY ENDED UP ON THE LINEUP (14):
submitted by sconce2600 to OutsideLands [link] [comments]


2017.03.08 05:59 sconce2600 I have compiled all the data from this sub and broken down who is out and who is still in play, I will update this list daily until the lineup is released.

Edit 4/4: The lineup has dropped, bold denotes acts playing
This is a list of acts that are potentially in and are most certainly out for OSLs 2017, I mostly stuck to notable names so that I only had to turn over hundreds of rocks rather than thousands. I intend to update this list via edit from now until the lineup drop (within 30 days at this point I should think). If you want to add someone to this list just comment below and I will modify the list and credit your handle next to the edit. If you want to find someone in particular quickly I suggest you use ctrl F.
Out due to gigs at AT&T Park/Levi's Stadium in San Francisco and Santa Clara CA (May through November)
Out due to gigs at the Oracle arena in Oakland CA (May through November)
Out due to gigs at the SAP Center in San Jose CA (May through November)
Out due to gigs at the Golden One Center in Sacramento CA (May through November)
Out due to gigs at Shoreline Amphitheatre in Mountain View CA (May through November)
Out due to gigs at the Concord Pavilion in Concord CA (May through November)
Out due to gigs at the Greek Theatre in Berkley CA (May through November)
Out due to gigs at Bill Graham Civic Auditorium in San Francisco CA (May through November)
Out due to gigs at the Masonic in San Francisco CA (May through November)
Out due to gigs at the Fox theater in Oakland CA (May through November)
Edit 4/3/17 (undeadsinatra) added: Out due to gigs at the Mountain Winery in Saratoga CA (May through November
Out due to gigs at the Warfield in San Francisco CA (May through November)
Out due to gigs at the Fillmore in San Francisco CA (May through November)
Out due to playing Bottlerock in Napa CA (May 26th-28th, this is just the first several lines)
Out due to playing Santa Cruz American music festival in Santa Cruz CA (May 27th & 28th)
Out due to playing Colossal Clusterfest in San Francisco CA (June 2nd-4th)
Out due to playing Phono Del Sol Music and Food Festival in San Francisco CA (June 17th)
Out due to playing Id1ot Fest in Mountain View CA (June 24th & 25th)
Out due to playing Burger Boogaloo in Oakland CA (July 1st & 2nd)
Out due to playing San Jose Jazz Summer Fest in San Jose CA (same weekend as OSLs)
Out due to playing Flow festival in Finland (same weekend as OSLs)
Out due to playing Boardmasters festival in the UK (same weekend as OSLs)
Out due to playing Way out West festival in Sweden (same weekend as OSLs)
Out due to playing Smukfest in Denmark (same weekend as OSLs)
Out due to playing Oya Festival in Norway (same weekend as OSLs)
Out due to playing SonneMondSterne Festival in Germany (same weekend as OSLs)
Out due to playing Boomtown Fair in the UK (same weekend as OSLs)
Out due to playing Haven Festival in Denmark (same weekend as OSLs)
Probably out due to Sziget Festival in Hungary (same weekend as OSLs, note that this festival is seven days long and therefore it is possible that some of the names below will make it to OSLs, we'll know more when the day by day breakdown comes out)
The following are acts that were in the first six lines of OSLs in 2015 and 2016 that are not already ruled out above and can safely be assumed out for this year.
Headliners
2016
2015
Others that are out
Edit 3/11/17 added: The following are acts that played bay area gigs the same year as an OSLs appearance
2016
2015
2014
Edit 3/13/17 added: The following is a list of returnees and the gaps between return performances
Headliners
No gap
Three year gap
Four year gap
Five year gap
Seven year gap
Eight year gap
The following are acts that are still in play that have been mentioned in this sub since January 1st, this does not mean that every name below is necessarily likely so much as not eliminated.
Potential Headliners
Potential Undercard
Edit 3/13/17 added: Past lineup drop dates:
Edit 3/27/17 added: Confirmations
Electric guest: Confirmed on 3/27/17 by A_lonerist https://www.reddit.com/OutsideLands/comments/61povt/electric_guest_confirmed/
Metallica: Confirmed on 3/29/17 by Ranger Dave and first reported by r-fitz_24 https://www.reddit.com/OutsideLands/comments/6290zj/osl_twitter_basically_confirmed_metallica/
Empire of the Sun Confirmed on 3/29/17 by Ranger Dave and first reported by 0kvn_prz0 https://www.reddit.com/OutsideLands/comments/5y60fc/i_have_compiled_all_the_data_from_this_sub_and/dfkrq94/?context=3
Sofi Tucker Confirmed on 3/29/17 by Ranger Dave and first reported by IrateDesperado https://www.reddit.com/OutsideLands/comments/62b3sw/new_hints_megathreadspeculation/dfl7nky/
Acts that were mentioned by no one that ended up on the lineup (in order of appearance)
submitted by sconce2600 to OutsideLands [link] [comments]


2016.11.30 15:49 OzenTheWise Urethra

Bee Movie is a 2007 American computer animated family comedy film produced by DreamWorks Animation and distributed by Paramount Pictures.1 It stars Jerry Seinfeld and Renée Zellweger.
Bee Movie is the first motion-picture script to be written by Seinfeld, who co-wrote the film with Spike Feresten, Barry Marder, and Andy Robin. The film was directed by Simon J. Smith and Steve Hickner and produced by Seinfeld, Christina Steinberg, and Cameron Stevning. The production was designed by Alex McDowell, and Christophe Lautrette was the art director. Nick Fletcher was the supervising editor and music for the film was composed by Rupert Gregson-Williams.
The cast and crew include some veterans of Seinfeld's long-running NBC sitcom Seinfeld, including writeproducers Feresten and Robin, and actors Michael Richards (Seinfeld character Cosmo Kramer), Patrick Warburton (Seinfeld character David Puddy), and Larry Miller (who plays the title character on the Seinfeld episode "The Doorman"). Coincidentally, NBC was host to the broadcast television premiere of the film on November 27, 2010.[3]
Contents [hide] 1 Plot 2 Voice cast 2.1 Cast notes 3 Soundtrack 4 Marketing 4.1 Trailers 4.2 Books 4.3 Video game 4.4 Home media 5 Reception 5.1 Critical reception 5.2 Box office 5.3 Awards and nominations 6 Lawsuits 6.1 Beebylon vs. DreamWorks 6.2 Beeceuticals vs. DreamWorks 7 In popular culture 8 Notes 9 References 10 External links Plot A honeybee named Barry B. Benson (Jerry Seinfeld) has recently graduated from college and is about to enter the hive's Honex Industries honey-making workforce alongside his best friend Adam Flayman (Matthew Broderick). Barry is initially excited to join the workforce, but his courageous non-conformist attitude emerges upon discovering that his choice of job will never change once picked. Later, the two bees run into a group of Pollen Jocks, bees who collect pollen from flowers outside the hive. The Jocks offer to take Barry outside the hive to a flower patch, and he accepts. While on his first pollen-gathering expedition in New York City, Barry gets lost in the rain, and ends up on the balcony of a human florist named Vanessa (Renée Zellweger). Upon noticing Barry, Vanessa's boyfriend Ken (Patrick Warburton) attempts to squash him, but Vanessa gently catches and releases Barry outside the window, saving his life.
Barry later returns to express his gratitude to Vanessa, breaking the sacred rule that bees are not supposed to communicate with humans. Barry and Vanessa develop a close bond, bordering on attraction, and spend time together frequently. Later, while Barry and Vanessa are walking through a grocery store, Barry is terrified to discover that the humans have been stealing and eating the bees' honey for centuries. He decides to journey to Honey Farms, which supplies the grocery store with its honey. Furious at the poor treatment of the bees in the hive, including the use of bee smokers to subdue the colony, Barry decides to sue the human race to put an end to the exploitation of bees.
Barry's mission attracts wide attention from bees and humans alike, and hundreds of people show up to watch the trial. Although Barry is up against tough defense attorney Layton T. Montgomery (John Goodman) the trial's first day goes well. That evening, Barry is having dinner with Vanessa when Ken shows up. Vanessa leaves the room, and Ken expresses to Barry that he hates Barry and Vanessa spending time together. When Barry leaves to use the restroom, Ken ambushes Barry and attempts to kill him, only for Vanessa to intervene and break up with Ken.
The next day at the trial, Montgomery harshly criticises bees, which causes Adam into stinging him. Adam's actions jeopardize the bees' credibility and put Adam's life in danger, though he manages to survive. While visiting Adam in the hospital, Barry notices a man smoking outside, and is struck by inspiration. The next day, Barry wins the trial by exposing the jury to the cruel treatment bees are subjected to, particularly the smoker, and humans are banned from stealing honey from bees ever again.
Having lost the trial, Montgomery cryptically warns Barry that a negative shift in the balance of nature is imminent. As it turns out, the sudden, massive stockpile of honey has put every bee out of a job, including the vitally important Pollen Jocks. As a result, without anything to pollinate them, the world's flowers slowly begin to die out. Before long, the only flowers left with healthy pollen are those in a flower parade in Pasadena, California. Barry and Vanessa travel to the parade and steal a parade float, which they load onto a plane to be delivered to the bees so they can re-pollinate the world's flowers. When the plane's pilot and copilot are knocked unconscious, Vanessa is forced to land the plane, with help from Barry and the bees from Barry's hive.
Armed with the pollen of the last flowers, Barry and the Pollen Jocks manage to reverse the damage and save the world's flowers, restarting the bees' honey production. Humans and bees are seen working together, and certain brands of honey are now "bee-approved". Barry becomes a member of the Pollen Jocks, helping to pollinate the world's plants. Barry is also seen running a law firm inside Vanessa's flower shop, titled "Insects at Law", handling disputes between animals and humans. The film ends with Barry flying off to a flower patch with the Pollen Jocks.
Voice cast Jerry Seinfeld as Barry B. Benson Renée Zellweger as Vanessa Bloome Matthew Broderick as Adam Flayman Chris Rock as Mooseblood the Mosquito Patrick Warburton as Ken Kathy Bates as Janet B. Benson Barry Levinson as Martin B. Benson John Goodman as Layton T. Montgomery Megan Mullally as Trudy, Honex Tour Guide Rip Torn as Lou Lo Duca and the Pollen Jocks General Oprah Winfrey as Judge Bumbleton Michael Richards as Bud Ditchwater Larry King as Bee Larry King Larry Miller as Dean Buzzwell Jim Cummings as Title Narrator and Graduation Announcer Brian Hopkins as Sandy Shrimpkin and TSA Agent John DiMaggio as Bailiff and Janitor Tress MacNeille as Jeanette Chung, Mother and Cow Simon J. Smith as Truck Driver and Chet Robert Jayne as Bee (uncredited) Ray Liotta as Himself Sting as Himself Carl Kasell as Himself (uncredited) Cast notes Megan Mullally originally voiced the Queen of the Hive and had even recorded her lines; but this character was cut from the film. Seinfeld still wanted her to have a part in the movie, so he gave her the role of the Honex Tour Guide. At one point, Uma Thurman, Rebecca Soler, Lisa Kudrow, David Letterman, and Raven-Symoné were all attached to the film, but they dropped out for various reasons.[4]
Soundtrack Bee Movie Film score by Rupert Gregson-Williams Released October 30, 2007 Genre Score Length 44:56 Label RCA Records Rupert Gregson-Williams film scores chronology I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry (2007) Bee Movie (2007) Made of Honor (2008) All music composed by Rupert Gregson-Williams, except as noted.
Track listing:[5] No. Title Performer Length 1. "Graduation" 3:13 2. "Honex" 2:48 3. "The Pollen Jocks" 1:32 4. "Barry Flies Out" 5:34 5. "Vanessa Intervenes" 2:01 6. "Sugar, Sugar" The Archies 2:46 7. "Assault on Honey Farms" 2:33 8. "Ken" 2:28 9. "Barry Turns the Screws" 3:12 10. "Monty Slanders and Adam Stings" 2:12 11. "Hearts, Flowers and Hive Closures" 2:34 12. "Honey Round Up" 1:38 13. "Rooftop Consequences" 1:50 14. "Land That Plane" 6:39 15. "Here Comes the Sun" Sheryl Crow 2:59 16. "Thinkin' Bee" (iTunes bonus track) Jerry Seinfeld & Matthew Broderick 0:57 Total length: 44:56 Marketing Trailers Two teaser trailers were released for the film that feature Seinfeld dressed in a bee costume, trying to shoot the film in live-action. Eddie Izzard portrays the direction agent, and Steven Spielberg suggests to Seinfeld in the second trailer to just do it as a cartoon. Upon the release of the first trailer, it was announced that three of the live-action teasers would be released in total.[6] In the second trailer, Steven Spielberg is taking a picture of himself and an assistant director, referencing the camera gag Ellen DeGeneres pulled on him during the 79th Academy Awards. After Seinfeld fails to do scenes in live-action, Spielberg suggests Seinfeld that the film can just be made as a cartoon. One of the crew members announce that the film is a cartoon, having the crew leave the stage studio. The trailer finally shows the movie as an animated CGI feature. Also in the second trailer, the bear that jumps out at Barry is Vincent the Bear from Over the Hedge, another DreamWorks Animation SKG movie.[7][8]
The third trailer was released with Shrek the Third, but this was an animated teaser. The fourth trailer was released on the Bee Movie official website, and revealed most of the film's plot.[9] In addition, two weeks before the release, NBC aired 22 behind-the-scenes skits called "Bee Movie TV Juniors," all of which are staged and tongue-in-cheek in nature.[10] The popular internet site Gaia Online featured a great deal of promotional material for the film.[11]
Books Ten books were released for the film: Bee Movie: The Story Book,[12] Bee Movie: The Honey Disaster,[13] The Art of Bee Movie,[14] Bee Movie: Deluxe Sound Storybook,[15] Bee Movie (Ultimate Sticker Books),[16] Bee Movie (I Can Find It),[17] Bee Movie: The Junior Novel,[18] Bee Movie: What’s the Buzz?,[18] Bee Movie Mad Libs,[19] and Bee Movie: Bee Meets Girl.[20]
Video game A video game titled Bee Movie Game was released on October 30, 2007 for Microsoft Windows, Xbox 360, Wii, PlayStation 2, and Nintendo DS.[21]
Home media Bee Movie was released on DVD on March 11, 2008 in both fullscreen and widescreen formats and a 2-disc special edition DVD. The single-disc extras include the "Inside the Hive: The Cast of Bee Movie" and "Tech of Bee Movie" featurettes, "We Got the Bee" music video, "Meet Barry B. Benson" feature, and interactive games.[22] The special edition DVD extras additionally include a filmmaker commentary, alternate endings, lost scenes with commentary, the live action trailers, and Jerry's Flight Over Cannes.[23] An HD DVD version was cancelled after the demise of HD DVD.[24] Paramount released the movie on Blu-ray Disc on May 20, 2008.[25]
Reception Critical reception The film holds a 51% approval rating on the review aggregator website Rotten Tomatoes, based on 169 reviews with an average rating of 5.7/10. The site's critical consensus reads: "Bee Movie has humorous moments, but its awkward premise and tame delivery render it mostly forgettable."[26] Another review aggregator, Metacritic, which assigns a normalized rating out of 100 top reviews from mainstream critics, calculated a score of 54 based on 34 reviews.[27] Audiences polled by CinemaScore gave the film an average grade of "B+" on an A+ to F scale.[28]
Kyle Smith of the New York Post gave the film three out of four stars, saying "After Shrek the Third's flatulence jokes, the return of that Seinfeldian wit brings animation up a level."[29] Michael Phillips of the Chicago Tribune gave the film two and a half stars out of four, saying "It's on the easygoing level of Surf's Up, and a full tick up from, say, Over the Hedge or The Ant Bully. But given the Seinfeld pedigree it's something of a disappointment."[30] Peter Travers of Rolling Stone gave the film three out of four stars, saying "At its relaxed best, when it's about, well, nothing, the slyly comic Bee Movie is truly beguiling."[30] Desson Thomson of The Washington Post said, "Bee Movie feels phoned in on every level. The images, usually computer animation's biggest draw, are disappointingly average. And as for the funny stuff, well, that's where you were supposed to come in."[31] A.O. Scott of the New York Times gave the film three and a half stars out of four, saying "The most genuinely apian aspect of Bee Movie is that it spends a lot of its running time buzzing happily around, sniffing out fresh jokes wherever they may bloom."[30] Claudia Puig gave the film one and a half stars out of four, saying "Bee Movie is certainly not low-budget, but it has all the staying power and creative value of a B-movie. The secret life of bees, as told by Seinfeld, is a bore with a capital B."[30] Steven Rea of The Philadelphia Inquirer gave the film three stars out of four, saying "Bee Movie is not Shrek, and it is not Ratatouille either (by far the standout computer-animated feature of the year). But it has enough buzzing wit and eye-popping animation to win over the kids—and probably more than a few parents, too."[32] Richard Roeper gave the film a positive review, saying "This is a beautifully animated, cleverly executed, warm and funny adventure."[30]
Roger Ebert of the Chicago Sun-Times gave the film two out of four stars, saying "All of this material, written by Seinfeld and writers associated with his television series, tries hard, but never really takes off. We learn at the outset of the movie that bees theoretically cannot fly. Unfortunately, in the movie, that applies only to the screenplay. It is really, really, really hard to care much about a platonic romantic relationship between Renee Zellweger and a bee, although if anyone could pull it off, she could."[33] Ty Burr of The Boston Globe gave the film three out of four stars, saying "The vibe is loose-limbed and fluky, and the gags have an extra snap that's recognizably Seinfeldian. If I believed in a sitcom afterlife, I'd swear the whole thing was cooked up by Kramer and George's dad."[34] Jack Mathews of the New York Daily News gave the film three out of four stars, saying "Watching this pun-filled cartoon is like falling into a tray of children's watercolors—the warm end, where oranges and yellows and ambers wave."[35] Stephen Whitty of the Newark Star-Ledger gave the film two and a half stars out of four, saying "The movie has some pretty pictures and a few good jokes, but not nearly enough. And the story suffers from sitcom attention-deficit disorder, veering off in a new direction every half-hour or so."[30] David Botti of Newsweek said, "What I like about Bee Movie is its comfy, off-the-cuff charm: unlike a lot of animated family entertainment, it's not all Thwack Smash Kaboom."[36] Moira MacDonald of The Seattle Times gave the film two and a half stars out of four, saying "Bee Movie doesn't touch the bar raised so high by Pixar, but it creates a little buzz of its own."[37] Peter Howell of the Toronto Star gave the film two and a half stars out of four, saying "Bee Movie is a cute movie. Not that there's anything ... well, you know the rest. But cute is not what adults expect from Jerry Seinfeld, although children will be delighted."[38]
Box office The film opened in second place to American Gangster, but its gross of $38,021,044 had it more in line with the studios' lowest-grossing features, such as Shark Tale. The film had an average of $9,679 from 3,928 theaters.[39] In its second weekend, the film held well with a 33% drop to $25,565,462 and claiming the top spot, resulting in a $6,482 average from expanding to 3,944 theaters.[40] Its widest release was 3,984 theaters, and closed on February 14, 2008 after 104 days of release, grossing $126,631,277 domestically along with an additional $160,963,300 overseas for a worldwide total of $287,594,577.[2] Produced on a $150 million budget, the film was a moderate box office success worldwide, but it was a disappointment in the United States and is DreamWorks Animation's third lowest-grossing computer-animated film to date.[41] It was #3 in the UK Box office (behind Enchanted and The Golden Compass).
Awards and nominations Bee Movie was nominated for Best Animated Feature Film at the 65th Golden Globe Awards.[42]
Barry B. Benson was the announcer for Best Animated Short on the Oscars for 2008. But beforehand, he showed the audience some of his "prior" roles, including every bee in the swarm in The Swarm.[43]
Awards Award Category Name Outcome 35th Annie Awards Annie Award for Best Animated Feature Nominated Annie Award for Best Animation Production Artist Michael Isaak Annie Award for Best Music in an Animated Feature Production Rupert Gregson-Williams Annie Award for Best Storyboarding in an Animated Feature Production Athanassios Vakalis Annie Award for Best Voice Acting in an Animated Feature Production Patrick Warburton Broadcast Film Critics Association Awards Best Animated Feature Golden Globe Awards Golden Globe Award for Best Animated Feature Film Golden Reel Awards Best Sound Editing - SFX, Foley, Dialogue & ADR for Feature Film Animation Michael Silvers Will Files Luke Dunn Gielmuda J.J. George Scott Guitteda Kyrsten Mate Comoglio Robert Shoup Shannon Mills Steve Slanec Kevin Crehan Nickelodeon Kids' Choice Awards Favorite Animated Movie Favorite Voice from an Animated Movie Jerry Seinfeld Producers Guild of America Animated Theatrical Motion Picture Jerry Seinfeld Christina Steinerg Young Artist Awards Best Family Feature Film (Animation) Lawsuits Beebylon vs. DreamWorks Bee Movie is alleged to be similar to a concept developed in 2000 by a team of Swedish animation students, which they claim was presented to DreamWorks in 2001 under the name Beebylon. The animation students say DreamWorks rejected the idea, on the basis of it being "too childish". When Bee Movie was announced in 2003, the students claim they once again contacted DreamWorks to make sure the movie was not similar to their original concept, and was given a reassuring answer. When one of the members of the Beebylon team saw a trailer of the movie in 2007, he found it to be extremely similar and attempted to find a U.S. lawyer who could represent them. Jerry Seinfeld rejected the plagiarism claims during his PR tour for Bee Movie in Sweden. "I'm doing my best not to laugh and I'm taking it as serious as I can. But it's a little bit hard. It is entirely possible that somebody else came up with an idea about making a movie about bees. I knew nothing of this until this very morning and I hope they are not too upset."[44][45][46][47][48][49]
Beeceuticals vs. DreamWorks A Florida-based cosmetics company called Beeceuticals filed a lawsuit over the use of their trademarked phrase "Give Bees a Chance".[50][51] The suit between the parties was settled out of court.[52]
In popular culture Years after the film's release, the film had become an internet phenomena. In 2015, posts of the entire film screenplay spread across Facebook.[53][54] In November 2016, a video where the entire film sped up everytime the word "bee" was uttered had gathered millions of views.[55]
Notes ^ In July 2014, the film's distribution rights were purchased by DreamWorks Animation from Paramount Pictures.[69XD]
submitted by OzenTheWise to GarfieldCart [link] [comments]


2016.02.27 17:24 foghaze Found article where Hillegas says he "happened to run into Teresa at "a friends" house the day before she disappeared. ???

He gives information in this article and fails to state he was actually at Teresa's home! What is his deal? He fails to tell the investigators how they used to date for 5 years! In this article he makes it sound like it was all just a coincidence how he "Ran into her". The more this guy talks and the less vital info he fails to give the more suspicious he gets.
“Photography was her life,” says Hillegas, now a nurse at Froedtert Hospital. “She could do anything with a camera.” Her expertise became portraits of children. Her favorite song, when she mustered the guts to sing karaoke, was “Picture” by Sheryl Crow and Kid Rock.
On the Sunday before she disappeared, Hillegas ran into Teresa at a friend’s house. Halbach told him she planned to join her family at a bar in Appleton for a Halloween party. She was dressed as a cowgirl.
On Tuesday, Hillegas called to ask Halbach about the party. Her voicemail box was full. “Which was weird for someone with a business,” he says. “She’s not the kind of person who would just take off and not call.”
By Thursday, he knew something was wrong. With the help of a friend, he went to Teresa’s house, fired up her computer and printed out a list of names and phone numbers of everyone she knew. The search was on.
Here is the link
http://www.milwaukeemag.com/2006/05/01/blood-simple/
submitted by foghaze to MakingaMurderer [link] [comments]


2014.02.14 19:52 tabledresser [Table] IAmA: I am Bruce Lane, professional entertainment driver for 37 years (and now driving the reddit bus tour) AMA!

Verified? (This bot cannot verify AMAs just yet)
Date: 2014-02-14
Link to submission (Has self-text)
Questions Answers
Hi Bruce, long time listener first time caller. What would you say is the most annoying thing about kn0thing? Are most of your Bruce-isms made up on the spot, or are they one's you've been using for years? Do you have a favorite one to say? Most of them have been accumulated over the years. Just gotta wait for the right situation to plug them in.
"Every days a good day, if you don't believe me, just miss one."
What's the worst weather you've had to drive through, and how did you get through it? Same questions, but what's the worst terrain? Also: how the hell does one drive in snow? I live in NC so we just had a depressing taste of what happens when a bunch of people don't know how to drive on ice/snow. Also: favorite stop on the WTP bus tour? And why? Worst weather I went through was back in 1979 up around Lafayette, IN. It was probably 12-15" of snow. The roads were covered. The National Guard shut the highway down and they were on snowmobiles helping people out of their cars.
We ended up getting off an exit and found a hotel. And there was a guy who had a load of beer from Milwaukee who got stranded as well. It was so cold, they told him to "take the top layer off" and we didn't let that beer go to waste. We had no choice but to drink it all. There were a bunch of college girls stranded at the hotel there, too. It was a real good time.
Worst terrain is on Highway 89 going out of Utah. It's just a windy 2 lane highway coming down this pass, deer running everywhere, it's just a steep-ass tough drive.
How do you drive in snow? Very carefully.
My favorite stop was UNC. Great bunch of people who showed us a good time. And then the fact that Asa got challenged by a girl to pushups in a bar (they tied).
Define "real good time" and "college girls" and how these two intertwine. Real good time is when the who crew has a night to remember one of those priceless times that when you reunite it the thing that we all laugh about. College Girls = probably can invent 1 of those night to remember.
From Purdue, can confirm that weather here is crazy. Thats mother nature . Like the mailman rain, snow, sleet, we gotta go
Does u/kn0thing just clean-up on college campuses? And does he at least have the courtesy to hang a laptop charger or something on the bus door? Hehe. No, Alexis couldn't get laid in a whorehouse with a pocket full of hundred dollar bills.
I'm partial to, "He couldn't get laid in a monkey whorehouse with a bag full of bananas." Great Line.
Neither could Freddie Mercury. My buddy worked for Queen for a few years.
Do you eat mac and cheese with a fork or spoon? Fork. People who eat it with a spoon probably have a lack of balance.
Eating macaroni with a spoon is for barbarians. Try eating it going down the road.
I live in the Philippines now and they all use spoons and forks for each meal (eat their rice with spoons). Take the american tradition everywhere we go.
I use forks for everything other than cereal. Take that american tradition everywhere.
Any crazy fans try to sneak on the buses? And why did you turn down Kanye West? That happens. Not on this tour. We were in Lincoln, NE and there was a guy (I forget who we were on tour) he was trying to slip on the bus, but he had some shitty credentials and he was busted. It's never hot women doing it -- they don't need to sneak on the bus.
I turned down Kanye to go on the reddit bus.
I'd have turned Kanye down to ... wash my hair (pro-tip: I'm bald) Me too.
Are you redditing and driving?? Edit: oh my god Alexis just talked to me. We're best friends now. Alexis here: No, he's driving while I read the questions and type the answers.
How do you deal with driving in a big city with crowded streets (like NYC)? I have a hard enough time with my car, and I can't imagine doing it with a giant bus. What are your insider tips? We have a saying in our business that "size of the vehicle determines the right of way." You just have to be on your toes. Anticipate other drivers, especially in bigger cities. You'll get yourself in a bind in a hurry. Boston and Chicago are both pretty tough to drive in because they're both old cities, with limited access for commercial vehicles throughout and they're both crowded.
"Anticipate other drivers" Drove school bus for a little while and lived by this rule: "Always assume the people in the cars around you are idiots and assholes." We have a rule that says be prepared (from our boy scout days) the other driver is unaware of you. Give yourself plenty of room to react.
What band/group has been the most interesting to drive and who would you like to drive next? The most interesting band I ever worked for was called Skillet. They're a Christian rock band who I'd never heard of, but they're a really awesome band that's been around since the mid 90s. We played this outdoor venue in PA, and it was sold out -- like 10k people, I couldn't believe it. They partied pretty hard. Especially their crew guys. I think Sheryl Crow would be a fun chick. I'd like to tour with her next.
Wait wait wait, what kind of partying? Partying ? I have seen some people party till they puke
Skillet is really good. I'm glad they surprised you! They are awesome gald your a fan.
Skillet is really good. I'm glad they surprised you! They are awesome keep on being a fan.
Would you rather fight 100 duck-sized horses or one horse-sized duck? I'd say the small ones. I think you have a better opportunity of winning against 100 duck-sized horses. I'd run them over with the bus.
What are some memorable or funny things you've seen on the road in all your years of driving? Some of the memorable things are when you see fatalities on the highways.
I was in Florida for example -- remember when Firestone had the tire problem? -- I was going across Alligator Alley and there was an Explorer that passed us and blew one of the tires out. Flipped over on its top, right in front of us.
We ended up getting out and there was family in there, 5 people, and we got two kids out and the wife. And the father -- his foot was wedged in the floorboard of the vehicle -- we got him out, too. The mother-in-law was in the back, dead.
You never forget things like that.
Someone told me later that the family was on 60 Minutes in a story about that tire problem.
Insert an in bad taste mother-in-law joke. I'm going to hell for this. My mother in law is the worst cook in the world at family dinner we have her bring the Milk and Bread.
If you could drive anybody you wanted to around for the rest of your life, Who would it be? Warren Buffett.
Alexis commentary here: It did not take him more than a second to come up with that answer.
Please please please elaborate. Come aboard sit down and let me tell you a story.
Bruce, you are the wise uncle I never had. I wish we were related. What's some advice you'd give to a young lady who's feeling a little directionless in life, in terms of career and love? Lay some knowledge on me. Do what you love. Chase what you love. And then, love will come if you let it.
Also, can I do a documentary on you? Being stuck on the side of the road for 12 hours doesn't count. 12 hrs on the side of the road? (Just realized who you are) We can start there!
Can you estimate how many gallons of old fashioneds Joe has downed on the tour so far? I don't know how many he's snuck, but I'd say he's probably drank a couple of gallons.
If all the artists you've done tours with, which was the most unexpectedly wild? That's a tough question because sometimes it not the artist, it's the entourage. Most of the artists would end up in tabloids and shit, they're pretty secluded so you don't see them out and about. I'd say Jethro Tull. Back in the day, those guys were party maniacs.
Did the Doobie Brothers live up to their name? Did they share? You know, despite name, they were really not big druggies. Tommy was kinda the guy that wrote all the songs back in the day and he actually was on heroin and was booted out of the band for a period of time -- went through rehab and ended up coming back.
Most entertainers will share.
Hey what's the craziest thing a famous person has done on your bus? Groupies? Parties? Craziest thing? Well, a lot of that happens behind me so I probably missed it. Big parties, mostly -- some of the people you think would be the tamest or the quietest, well, once they get out, they let their hair down.
How long would it take to get the bus up to 88 MPH? Depends on what the terrain is. 3 or 4 minutes on flat ground.
It doesn't matter Marty, we have all the time we need. You got it.
Most of the time.
0-60 in 2.4...minutes. She's not the fastest thing on wheels.
She is not the fastest ,but she's steady.
It's been said that Willie Nelson can outsmoke Here_Comes_The_King, just how much weed did Willie smoke? I don't know if Willie knows how much he's smoked. Garbage cans full, I'd say.
I never asked him ,but I know that he smoke a bushel basket full on the roof of the white house . when he was invited there by President Jimmy Carter.
Do you have a favorite song to listen to, while you drive? Toby Keith's I'll Never Smoke Weed With Willie Again
What's your favorite stretch of road that you enjoy driving on, and try to hit while on tours? The stretch of road that runs along the Columbia River in Oregon -- Oregon State Route 84 -- it runs for a couple hundred miles, beautiful scenery.
Did you hit it on this tour, or did kn0thing and jisforjoe deny you that pleasure? They denied me that pleasure.
Is that Michael?
As a former La Grande resident, this makes me happy to hear. That is a beautiful road 1 of the best in america congrats you know what I'm talking about.
The gorge is beautiful. Terrifying in the winter, though. In this business you can't be a fair weather driver Bus driving ain't for sissies.
How are your driving requirements different than mine were as a charter driver? They're basically the same driving requirements, just a different crowd in the back. In this case, a bunch of nerds.
I've never seen a bus navigate tight areas like a Setra, though. I never drove a Serta they look nice.
Bruce Lee! You're dead though... Edit: Facepalm. Uhhh. Whats the worst accident you've ever been in? I haven't had any too bad ones. The only accident that I really remember was this one time in Lincoln, NE. There was a car in front of me, snow everywhere, I went to take off, she stopped, and I caught her taillight. I really haven't been in any other accidents. Feel pretty lucky. knocks on wood
Wow. I would think someone who drives a car for a living would have been in some major accidents. Then again someone who drives a car for a living is probably a lot better at driving than I am. Much respect, thank you for answering. I have been extremely blessed when it comes to driving. Hopefully the rest of my days will be safe sleding as well I'll keep praying Thanks for the great question.
Bruce Lane, has anyone worked out your secret identity as Ratman yet? Not yet keep on building it
When are you gonna let Joe drive the bus? Today.
Who was the craziest band you drive around and why? The Doobies, simply because I was with them a long time. The more you're with somebody the more things happen.
In the day, the Doobies probably had one of the best followings of beautiful women of all the bands.
Did they just pay you retainer, or did it just work out to tour with them so long? I work for a company that contracts you. So they'd be on a 9 month tour and when the tour was over, I did another tour for 3 months before they went back out.
Hi Bruce! I had dinner with you when you came to UMD. I remember Alexis said that you had some stories that you simply couldn't tell us at the time--do you remember what those stories were? The craziest thing on this tour was our night in Times Square. I thought that was a pretty good night. It involved a t-shirt cannon from the roof of the bus.
Also, what is the craziest thing that's happened with this crew? One of the craziest things I've seen was a crew one time that had some game they were playing, like where if something happened you to take a shot. It started out when we left the venue and then a little while later when I stopped to get fuel I looked back and a good 6 guys were passed out laid out all over the back of the bus. I don't know what that game was. It was pretty loud for a couple of hours and then boom. Everyone was done. On the floor. Everywhere.
Craziest thing ever on your bus? Alexis note: Bruce also told us that 'what happens on the bus, stays on the bus' for his celeb clients so we can't get all the details of the juiciest stuff until he retires….
How was navigating through the small streets of balcksburg, VA?? Go hokies! That was pretty easy compared to Georgetown and New Orleans.
Alexis note: Wahoowah
We got kicked out of more parking lots at VT than anywhere I have ever Been , We were trying to sneak in to tail gate with some experts and were escorted out of several lot but the boys on the side by sides. You may have seen us stolling through numerous patking lots with the Reddit bus. Not many of you offered up so sad.
As a former University Transit driver, tell Alexis Wahoowa for me! Will do.
Being a dc native i can definitely see the issues in georgetown and alexis that is so sad to hear, at least we have reddit for common ground Driving in the older cities is very challanging today as the vehicles are bigger than ever.
On a Scale of 1-10 how aware are you that your name sounds like Bruce Wayne? 10.
Who has been the worst offendeoffensive breaker of the no turds in the toilet rule in your 36 years? I don't know who did it, but it was on one of the crew buses last summer on Alan Jackson's tour. No one fessed up to it.
Also, who gets hit with the charges if your bus is pulled over and the passengers have drugs? Never happened. Probably me. I really don't know anybody that's happened to. Maybe Willie Nelson's bus got busted once. It was all a misdemeanor….
Hi Bruce, what's it like to be a multi-millionaire, protector of the people of Gotham and also, where did you get that fine suit from? It's good, I just like to have the millions.
Wow, The Captain And Tennille. Those must have been some wild times. Who pulled in the most tail? They were really conservative times. They were really laid back and didn't do anything extreme. It was a real husband + wife crowd.
Since you have probably seen a good portion of the states from doing so much driving, what have been your favorite places in the USA? Longest road trip? My longest road trip has probably been 13-14 months. I was gonna go home for Christmas but I couldn't get out of LA so I ended up staying there.
There's a rumor going around you wanted to curb stomp a N.O. hotel employee for accusing you of not knowing how to work magnetic keycards. True or False? That's true.
How exactly did you "get in" with driving for celebrities and such? I was at the right place at the right time. The place I went to, that's what they did. Back in the 70s it was regulated business by the government. This company had the authority to haul 'theatrical' - I think that's what it was - and that's how I got into it.
I ask because I do personal chauffeur and sometimes valet services, driving is something I consider second nature (I'm still a conscientious driver though). What kinda license do you have? Because you really need a Class A license to get into it.
I have a class A license and a passenger endorsement, as well as a shit load of time on my hands. How would somebody like me get into it? Been driving for 12 years now, though to be honest i'm a diesel tech now. Itching for the road again though. I would send you to SHOWCO they have a transportation company that hauls all show stuff or Stage call a transportation company that also hauls a lot of show stuff.
Why do you drive, Bruce? To get a different shot of scenery every day. The scenery is always changing and it beats working in an office looking out the window.
Who has the smellier farts? Joe or Alexis? The honest answer would be I don't know. But I think the consensus is Alexis leads the parade.
Hey Bruce! What's the most beautiful/stunning thing you've seen in your travels? Also, I saw you guys in Middletown CT. It was a great time. The most beautiful/stunning thing I've seen in my travels? Man, I'd say the Grand Canyon. Took a helicopter ride in it and just thought it was amazing… formed over all these years… really beautiful.
Is there a list somewhere on the internet where I can read all your witty one-liners of wisdom? "Slicker-than-deer-guts-on-a-shotgun-barrell" Not yet.
Alexis note: this man needs a book deal. Follow Bruce on twitter @Bruce_Bus
Bruce, thanks for doing the AMA. What is the most unique thing about the WTP tour you are on now? What is the craziest Asa story you have from WTP? Keep it going strong Alexis and go 'Skins! (Hopefully Alexis recognizes this user name!) It's pretty laid back compared to most tours.
The best Asa story on this tour was him meeting [redacted] in Vegas and then again in LA. After seeing her, we realized who got the better end of that deal ([redacted]).
How many people have thrown up in the ride? Too many. (not because of car sickness, but because of over serving themselves -- not on this tour, though)
Tooo many.
Hey thanks for doing this. Curious: What is the absolute worst/most stupid driving move you have ever witnessed someone make on the road? I had a guy that was driving the wrong way on the interstate one night at 3am, coming head on at ya, at 60mph, definitely gave me that crazy feeling. I moved over, he missed me, I don't even know if he was awake, or sleeping or what it was the wee hours of the morning.
We called 911 to report it and it'd already been reported. The things people do...
Omg. Crazy. All aboard.
Have you fully recovered from Brian and Jack's departure from the tour? We haven't found any hidden treasures since you left.
Where can one find the best lot lizards? I don't chase 'em, so I don't know.
Do you like bananas? Yeah I like bananas. They're good for you.
Does your bus have wireless internet? Cuz it be hard to reddit without that Another question, ever had someone have sex while you drive... And then join them and high five the guy? Thanks We have wireless and all the goodies of life. I am sure that many have had sex on the road while we are at a full tilt boogie.
What's it like being Batman? Awesome.
1.) Did you have to take any specialized driving courses (maybe something similar to a more practical stunt driver)? 2) Just 70mph swerves when someone cuts you off or something. The old Eagle buses were built different and they were more responsive. You could go down the road and if you moved the steering wheel a certain way, you could roll them out of the bunk. If you had someone on the bus that pissed you off, wait til they went to sleep then roll em out of the bed.
Probably one of the best jobs in the world!! How did you come by it all? Favor from a friend or what?!? Looking for work stumbled onto the right door at the right time the rest is history.
What's your opinion on road head? Have you ever given or received it? Is it an experience you would recommend? Yeah, it's like the mile high club.
Do you like sandwiches? How do you like them? I have ate many different types of sandwiches across the country a hometown Phili cheese steak is the best.
Hi Bruce did you know anything about Reddit before the tour? Nope. Never heard of it before, saw it on the bus.
Forgive my ignorance but what is the reddit bus tour? Is this something like the peterman reality tour? It is a 77 university book tour to promote Alexis Ohanian 's Book (With Out Their Permission)
What's the rock and roll schedule like? I imagine it's drive all night, load in, try to sleep before and during the show, load out, drive all night. I drove charters for a little while, and even with the long driving some were pretty fun. But that schedule sounds awful. Today is better than the early years when it was boogie boogie boogie sleep when you can. I worked for a company that had a gaurantee that if we failed they there insurance company would buy all the seats that were sold for that show.
Do you double clutch? I have , the buses today are fully automatic for a seamless ride.
Not on these buses. These are automatics. The old ones used to.
How high did you get with Willie Nelson? [4] I worked for a company that had a contract with his company and they sent me out for a leg of 1 of his tours.
Brice, I am 33 years old and have had a CDL-B with passenger and air brake endorsement. I've always wanted to drive a tour bus. How do I go about becoming a tour bus driver in the entertainment industry? Today you need a class A to get hired in most companies we pull trailers in about 60-70% of our tours.
Bruce, If you've ever traveled I-80 through nebraska then you undoubtedly know my home town by our ridiculous hot air balloon themed water tower right on the interchange. What other non-landmark Landmarks stand out from your journeys across our country? In Collinsville ,Il there is a Brooks catsup bottle that is a water tower.
Lol my last name is Lane too. Does anyone ever call you Bruce Lame? I get that stuff a lot! I've heard it aLL I have a friend that calls me Willis for (Bruce Willis)
Does anyone ever talk about how you drive for a living and your last name is Lane? Or am I the only one who can appreciate this. All the time my 1 friend says I drive the world largest Batmobile.
What type of hats do you like to wear? The best are cowboy hats.
I actually mistook your name for Bruce lee ... i don't suppose that happens to you a lot? It does. Yeah.
If you weren't a bus driver, what would you be? Bruce Rain, the weatherman? Bruce Mane, the hair stylist.. I'll stop now. Bruce Brain the gynocologist.
Are you related to Lois Lane? No,but I wish I had her money.
Hey Bruce, have you ever done a Russian Bake Sale? No ,but lets do 1.
So, Bruce, are you the driver that Reddit deserves? Probably Not
Ever get gay with any rock stars? Never have.
Hi Bruce. Nice and toasty here in back :) Just kick back, relax, read the funnies and count the monies.
What tricks do you use while driving to deal with boredom, sleepiness and general uncomfortableness. You drink a lot of coffee, talk to yourself, try to answer yourself.
That and freebase.
I vote that the #WTPbook tour should end with you and jisforjoe in a bus-off. I don't know how drag racing works but I bet it'd be pretty sweet. I think that's a great idea. If you supply Joe's bus, we'll ride.
At a first glance I thought this said Bruce Lee. Now try it with your eyes opened.
Bruce Lane... I'm Scatman! Hello Scatman Whats up
No question, thanks for bringing kn0thing and jisforjoe to University of Maryland! Your welcome it was a blast having dinner with the students and having a couple of wobble pops at the after glow.
I thought it said bruce lee "Facepalm" I have been called that a time or 2.
Oww...it's Bruce Lane...not Lee. Bummer. Everybody has to be somebody . I told my mom thanks for Naming me Bruce Lane and her response was why is that , I said because that is what everybody calls me.
So you're a bus driver. They say some people can drive a bus and others are bus drivers.
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