Lindsay Lohans partner video

Lindsay Lohan's boyfriend is revealed in a new photo she shared on Instagram. However, she's since deleted the caption identifying him. Get ready 'Parent Trap' fans, Nancy Meyers, the director of the movie, has some exciting news. Meyers, who directed the 1998 film, posted a throwback picture of herself and Lindsay Lohan on set. Lindsay Lohan might have faded into near oblivion stateside, but that's because she's focusing all of her energy on launching overseas clubs, as we'll all get to see when Lindsay Lohan's Beach Club premieres tonight on MTV. Though Lindsay lives in Dubai, where paparazzi are famously banned, the young entrepreneur has ventured into opening party spots in Athens, Rhodes, and now Mykonos with the ... A disturbing video has shed new light on Lindsay Lohan’s split from ex fiancé Egor Tarabasov. Lindsay Lohan and boyfriend Egor Tarabasov stroll in Madrid, Spain. Plus, Lindsay wants to meet someone organically — she’s not interested in trying dating apps or websites. Hopefully, Lindsay Lohan finds a good partner soon! Due to restrictions, this video cannot (Lohan’s comments about her relationship with Ronson start at about 12:26) As for those who are anxious about a sequel to 2004′s “Mean Girls,” rest assured: Lohan shares your enthusiasm . The star said she’s “harassed” writer-star Tina Fey , producer Lorne Michaels and other members of the “Mean Girls” creative team about a ... Lindsay Lohan has had some ups and downs in her love life and the actress, 33, is rumored to be dating the crown prince of Saudi Arabia, Mohammad bin Salman.

K-L 1k-5k

2019.08.20 05:36 j259awesome K-L 1k-5k

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2017.12.11 20:44 CatherineAm Fertility Real talk (long Read)

Hey, fam.
Anyway, here goes.
By the looks of it, lots of people were freaked out by that fertility doctor last night. Well, good news, ladies (and at least some gents?)! It's not quite as dire (for you) as that doctor spelled out. Not to say that 35+ is some sort of perfect age for baby-making. We all know it's not. But it's not some sort of hop skip and a jump right to YOU NEED IVF TOMORROW, YOU CRONE situation.
I am NOT A DOCTOR but I do know a good bit fertility talk and can read between TLC's editing. Please, please help me correct something I'm sure to get jumbled up especially on the boy-parts because that's a road I haven't been down.
Josh and Akia
First, it is true that fertility begins to slowly decline at age 27. It speeds up fairly dramatically at 35 and gets very serious at 40. But "fairly dramatically" and "seriously" are relative terms AND no one seems to agree on the numbers anyway but between 35 and 39, there is "up to" a 78%-82% chance of a pregnancy in a given year, down from 86% in younger years. So that's "fairly dramatic" but still not terribly long odds.
Now, what they seem to have edited out is the devil that's in those details (shocking, TLC would gloss over important technicalities to serve their narrative and make extra drama). Here's what they didn't say, that I'd bet the doctor DID say (or she's a pretty bad fertility doctor). You don't need to reverse a vasectomy to get sperm. There are other procedures BUT the result is that you have to use IVF. Again, not a doctor but I'm guessing that it has something to do with it not being mixed with semen (that's one of the jobs of the vas deferens-- to mix sperm with semen and so when it's cut in a vasectomy, only the semen comes out not the sperm) so it can't survive well outside? Not sure on that count.
Anyway, the doctor said that a reversal is unlikely to work because it's been so long and if they do try, it would take 3 to 4 months to know if it was successful. Then the tone changed (edit alert) and she launched into Akia's age and egg count. I think what we're missing here is a discussion on that combination of factors-- the low likelihood of successful reversal PLUS her age means that going straight to IVF is probably the best bet in their situation. Because think about it. They'd need to reverse the thing today, wait 4 months to test the semen to see if sperm are getting through, and THEN try it the old fashioned way for 6 months (or go with other treatments that rely on a high sperm count) before turning to IVF. Basically, they'd "waste" at least 4 months but up to 10 months of cycles before likely needing to head to IVF anyway. Now, if she were 26, ok, maybe they try that. But she's not. She's 36 and shouldn't waste that year if she/they are ready for a baby NOW. Really listen to that scene again, it is so choppy, even in mid-sentences in their "talking heads".
So, ladies who may be in a bit of a panic over this. Stop. This doctor was unusually harsh and aggressive to begin with and the outcome was very specifically based on their unique situation. Don't hitch your wagon to someone who has had a vasectomy and you will have a very different experience at the fertility doctor, if you even need to go to one at all (which, hey maybe because 35+ isn't perfect but it is far from a guarantee).
Hey, look, classic Tina Fey
Now, some comic relief. If anyone gets on you for "waiting so long" just remember the wisdom of the ladies from SNL. Watch this video. Embrace it. And if you're someone who thinks that women are deciding to wait too long out of some sort of preference or convenience, also watch this video. It's actually pretty funny.
Why you can calm down and maybe not freeze ya eggs
Now back to serious. This article goes into some good but accessible to us science-illiterate folks detail about why this fertility after 35 thing is based on some really flawed data (and is also where I was tipped off to this comic relief). Adam Ruins Everything does an even more dumbed down version of it, if you'd prefer. You are probably ok, even at age 35-39 unless you already have issues. Seriously give it a read, she's got numbers from this century, unlike the data we've all been going on.
Again, I'm not saying that 35+ is some ideal age to get started on the baby making. Earlier is better if you're in the position to do so. And yes, for many, that position includes marriage, financial security and emotional preparedness.
For the naysayers
I'd really, really ask those I've seen on here saying things that somehow imply that waiting that long is some sort of choice borne out of selfishness to reconsider that viewpoint. You may see a high-powered attorney going through IVF at 37 but do you know when she started trying to conceive? Infertility does happen to young women, too, it is by NO means a purely age-related issue. A LOT of women in fertility clinics have been at it for YEARS. That's part of why the data available is so flawed-- the data comes from fertility clinics!
Also, is it really a selfish choice to wait for a GOOD life partner and future father of your children? What if you don't find one before age 30? Should every woman of such an age latch onto the first person to treat them "nice"? Assuming you don't meet "the one" in high school or college, you're looking at a 6 year span to find and marry an acceptable mate who then will agree to start the baby-making fairly quickly and that particular demographic in men aren't in a huge rush to settle down themselves. It's a lot easier said than done. Everyone loves to hate on the single moms of the world but now it's a bad thing to wait until you've found a good one who will stick around?
Also, is it really selfish to wait until you're financially stable before having children? I certainly don't think so. For some people, that just takes longer. I know that a lot of people, maybe you included, give the side-eye to the 25 year old pregnant woman with a 4 year old and a 2 year old in tow using food stamps and WIC in the checkout lane. Should she have waited until she was more financially stable to have those kiddos? What if that took until she was in her mid-30s?
Do you really want to live in a world where people have kids before they're emotionally ready just because it might be harder later? Lindsay Lohan is getting up there in years. It worked out real well for Britney Spears, maybe she should get on that train. (For those too young to get the reference, these women are or were absolute trainwrecks on the drugs and alcohol party lifestyle front, with multiple public mental breakdowns each. Spears lost custody of her two children to someone like JOSH for christssake. No clue if she did it because she felt she was getting old or what. But there are clearly people who are ready to have kids and those who aren't. Kudos to those who know they're not "there" yet).
And finally, I get that we all love to judge others. We all watch TLC, after all. However, I do wonder: what's it to you that some women "wait too long" and then have trouble? On the show, ok fair game. But out in life. Why is that annoying? Or is it just schadenfreude for you? Are you SO SURE that you/your wife won't have any problems conceiving? That you'll be married and financially stable before you're "too old"? Or are you pleased with yourself that you didn't wait "too long"? Do you think that luck may have played a role in that "choice"? If you KNOW this is a sensitive area for people and you don't know their life story (legit, I know someone doing fertility treatments from when she was 26 and now she gets tisked-tisked for having "waited so long"), or even if you do, what joy is in it to you to make them feel worse/more guilty/full of regret than they already do? Trust me, women don't need strangers (ahem, my uber driver the other week) to make them feel like pieces of shit failures for not having a baby yet. They're doing just a peachy keen good enough job of that all on their own.
Just food for thought, fam.
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2017.07.02 18:26 feedreddit THE PRESIDENT posts a video of himself pummeling a man with CNN logo on his face -- CNN: ‘We will keep doing our jobs. He should start doing his’ -- SASSE punts on '20

THE PRESIDENT posts a video of himself pummeling a man with CNN logo on his face -- CNN: ‘We will keep doing our jobs. He should start doing his’ -- SASSE punts on '20
by [email protected] (Daniel Lippman) via POLITICO - TOP Stories
THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES tweeted a 28-second video of himself punching someone whose face is covered by the CNN logo. The altered video is from one of his appearances 10 years ago on WWE.
THE TWEET -- THE PRESIDENT at 9:21 a.m.: “#FraudNewsCNN #FNN”
LET’S BE CLEAR -- The president has just sent his 33 million followers a video of himself pummeling a man covered by the CNN logo. CNN anchors and reporters -- indeed, anchors and reporters from many media outlets -- have been threatened and harassed. The president tweeted this message from the comfort of his summer golf home in New Jersey, surrounded by Secret Service. Meanwhile journalists are in the field, across the country and the world.
THE WHITE HOUSE keeps telling us the president wants to talk about policy, but the media doesn’t want to cover it. Since June 30, the president has tweeted once about health care -- and it was to suggest a new strategy for Republicans. He has tweeted eight times about the media.
CNN’s FIERY RESPONSE: “It is a sad day when the President of the United States encourages violence against reporters. Clearly, Sarah Huckabee Sanders lied when she said the President had never done so. Instead of preparing for his overseas trip, his first meeting with Vladimir Putin, dealing with North Korea and working on his health care bill, he is instead involved in juvenile behavior far below the dignity of his office. We will keep doing our jobs. He should start doing his.”
THE WHITE HOUSE did not immediately respond to a request for comment about the tweet.
FROM A D.C. REPUBLICAN: “Lord almighty. It seriously gets worse every day.”
-- @NancyPelosi: “Violence & violent imagery to bully the press must be rejected. This #July4th, celebrate freedom of the press, guardians to our democracy”.
TOM BOSSERT, the president’s homeland security adviser, walked onto Martha Raddatz’s set on ABC’s “This Week” just moments after the tweet posted. Jake showed him the video on his iPhone just as he was walking out of the green room. Raddatz asked him for his reaction on set. “There’s a lot of cable news shows that reach directly into hundreds of thousands of viewers that are really not very fair to the president. So I’m very proud of the president for developing a Twitter and social media platform where he can talk directly to the American people.” He said Trump is the most “genuine president” and “non-politician president” in our time. “No one would perceive that as a threat,” Bossert said.
BUZZFEED: “The edited version of the clip has circulated on Reddit’s The_Donald -- which has become a hub for followers of alt-right, far-right, and Trump supporters -- over the last few days prior to the President tweeting it. It is not clear how the president became aware of the clip.”
-- REMEMBER: A few weeks ago, House Majority Whip Steve Scalise (R-La.) was shot and he now lays in a Washington hospital recovering. The president, at that time, called for the country to unify. He was roundly praised. Republicans and Democrats said it was time to ratchet down the political rhetoric.
ANA NAVARRO, on “This Week”: “It is an incitement to violence. He is going to get somebody killed in the media. Maybe that will stop him.”
KEEP IN MIND -- Ben Jacobs, a reporter from The Guardian, was recently bodyslammed by a congressional candidate.
BY THE WAY … The man whose face is covered up appears to be Vince McMahon, the husband of Small Business Administrator Linda McMahon. See the original clip from 10 years ago
-- BARACK OBAMA in Jakarta, Indonesia, per the AP: “‘I wasn’t worried about what was in the newspapers today,’ former President Barack Obama said Saturday during a nostalgic visit to Indonesia's capital, his childhood home. ‘What I was worried about was, ‘What are they going to write about me 20 years from now when I look back?’”
-- MITCH MCCONNELL, per the AP, in Kentucky: “‘If Republican Senators are unable to pass what they are working on now, they should immediately REPEAL, and then REPLACE at a later date!’ Trump wrote early Friday. Later that day, McConnell told reporters after an event in his home state of Kentucky that the health bill was challenging but ‘we are going to stick with that path.’ He added: ‘It’s not easy making America great again, is it?’”
PRESIDENT TRUMP at the “Celebrate Freedom” rally honoring veterans last night at the Kennedy Center: “My administration is transferring power outside of Washington and returning it to where it belongs, the people. The fake media is trying to silence us but we will not let them. The people know the truth. The fake media tried to stop us from going to the White House, but I’m president and they’re not. … “The fact is the press destroyed themselves because they went too far. Instead of being subtle and smart, they used the hatchet and the people saw it right from the beginning. ... The dishonest media will not stop us from accomplishing our objectives on behalf of the American people. Their agenda is not your agenda.”
-- DESPITE THE BLUSTER, we’d venture to say President Trump has given nearly as many interviews to the New York Times and Washington Post since winning the presidency in November than Barack Obama did in eight years. Right?
-- @maggieNYT: “POTUS used July 4 vets event to attack the press/first amendment: ‘The fact is the press destroyed themselves because they went too far.’”
-- QUICK NOTE: Imagine if Barack Obama used a veterans event to attack the press.
THE NEW WALL STREET JOURNAL -- SAM WALKER, the deputy enterprise editor at the WSJ (@samwalkers): “Are WH attacks on TV media ‘news’? I dunno... These @shaneharris scoops definitely are:
FOR POSTERITY [email protected] at 3:41 p.m.: “My use of social media is not Presidential - it’s MODERN DAY PRESIDENTIAL. Make America Great Again!”
IVANKA WATCH -- “When Dad’s the president -- a look inside Ivanka Trump’s complicated world,” by WaPo’s Monica Hesse and Krissah Thompson: “Ivanka Trump’s office: clean, white, quiet. A zone of punctual start times and promptly-offered water bottles, and a conference table at which she conducts meetings. A short, winding walk away from her father’s Oval Office downstairs. She does not necessarily appreciate daily schedules. Neither does her father. When Ivanka needs to see the president, she stops by. When he needs to see her, he calls. When he wants her opinion, he asks for it and she gives it, but without expectation that it will be followed.She sees her role as not to persuade, but to inform and support ...
“Anyone who has invested in her the ability to change her father clearly doesn’t understand the dynamic that has always governed their relationship and also the dynamic of a president and his staff. After all, she works for him. ... When she disagrees with her dad, she asks herself whether the issue was a campaign promise or not. If it was, she readily suppresses her own wishes. She believes that doing otherwise would undermine what the American people voted for. She asks herself why her opinion is more right than the 46 percent of the country who put her father in office.”
NOTHING TO SEE HERE -- “With health bill looming, senators aren’t rushing into the July Fourth spotlight,” by WaPo’s Paul Kane: “Sen. Susan Collins will celebrate the Fourth of July within view of the Canadian border, at a remote northeastern Maine town’s annual parade. Sen. Lisa Murkowski will appear on the other end of the continent in an old timber town on an isolated Alaskan island. These two Republican senators, critical swing votes in the debate over health-care legislation, are not exactly rushing into the public spotlight to engage their constituents on the controversial plan and their own decision-making about the proposal.
“Then again, at least they have released information about where they will be. That’s more than most Senate Republicans have done at the start of a 10-day break wrapped around the nation’s Independence Day celebration. This creates the belief among liberal activists that Republicans are trying to hide, which in turn primes every public moment to become that much more confrontational.”
-- W.H. LEGISLATIVE DIRECTOR MARC SHORT ON TIMING, to JOHN ROBERTS on “Fox News Sunday”: “Well, look, we’ve gone through a long process in the House and got it completed and passed in the House. We now are in the Senate where there’s been obviously a lot of procedural delays in this process. We are at the point of scoring two separate bills throughout the course of this recess this week. So, we hope that we come back the week after recess, we'll have a vote.”
WHAT BRAD PARSCALE IS READING -- “Pro-Trump Twitter operatives market paid tweets,” by Shawn Musgrave: “From the moment he declared his candidacy, President Trump commanded legions of online followers. Now, having helped win the White House, factions of self-made social media operatives are redirecting their skills and infrastructure to promote other candidates nationwide. Some are even vying to spin their experiences from the presidential race into new business models, seeking to promote other candidates by paying pro-Trump Twitter users to tweet and retweet scripted messages. Pro-Trump tweeters say they deserve at least partial credit for defeating Hillary Clinton, as well as for the string of Republican victories in recent special elections. A handful are pursuing paid gigs from aspiring conservative politicians, pitching their organized -- and often secretive -- follower networks to ‘America First’ candidates willing to pay.
“It’s an unproven concept, one viewed with skepticism from established campaign veterans and with varying levels of disdain from those who tweet Trump’s virtues for free. After all, Twitter derives its power from authentic, grass-roots messaging. But pay-to-tweet enthusiasts say they’re selling the future of social media strategy, and that candidates won’t have any choice but to pay.”
MAUREEN DOWD in the NYT: “Cruella de Trump”: “The 71-year-old president’s pathological inability to let go of slights; his strongman reflex to be the aggressor and bite back like a cornered animal, without regard for societal norms; his lack of self-awareness about the power he commands and the proportionality of his responses; his grotesque hunger for flattery and taste for Tony Soprano tactics; his Pravda partnership with David Pecker, the head honcho at The National Enquirer, which has been giving Trump the Il Duce treatment while sliming his political opponents, the ‘Morning Joe’ anchors and Megyn Kelly -- these are all matters that should alarm men and women equally.
“Trump has moved his shallow kiddie wading pool of gossip and ridicule from Trump Tower to the White House, where it is so outlandishly out of place that it often feels like we have a Page Six reporter as our president. … Before he got to D.C., Trump was used to media that could be bought, sold and bartered with. He is not built for this hostile environment and it shows in his deteriorating psychological state. Even though he’s in the safest space of all, he’s not in a safe space.”
THE WHITE HOUSE appears to be putting more of their aides on television to talk about the president’s agenda. They had Tom Bossert, the president’s homeland security adviser, on ABC and Marc Short, the president’s legislative affairs director, on Fox. The Trump administration has had no one on the Sunday shows on many occasions. A few weeks ago, Trump’s attorney Jay Sekulow went on the shows.
SUNDAY BEST -- HHS SECRETARY TOM PRICE to NBC’S CHUCK TODD on “MEET THE PRESS” -- TODD: “I’m just asking you as a father. If your son tweeted about a woman like that, what would you say to him?” PRICE: “Chuck, you know, this is really remarkable. You’ve got incredible challenges across this nation, incredible challenges around the world. The challenge that I've been given is to address the health care issues. And your program, a program with the incredible history of Meet the Press, and that’s what you want to talk about?” TODD: “I don’t.” PRICE:“Let me suggest to you that the American people want to talk about the challenges.”
TODD: “Mr. Secretary, I don’t. Mr. Secretary, with all due respect, you’re blaming me for what the president of the United States has spent his entire week focused on?” PRICE: “No. Listen to me, with all due respect. The American people are concerned about a health care system that is not providing choices, where premiums are going up, where insurance companies are vacating markets all across this land. And that’s what they want us to concentrate on. And that’s what they want us to fix. And that’s what I and the president are working on.”
-- CANCEL AUGUST RECESS: “Let's bring everybody into the room. Let’s do this full-time 18 hours a day, six days a week. Let’s cancel the August state work period, and let’s do it in full public view and have hearings and get to work on something that works better than Obamacare. We pledged that, and the American people deserve that.”
-- NO ANSWER ABOUT A 2020 CHALLENGE TO TRUMP: TAPPER: “So, senator, you're not taking that advice. In fact, you’re going to be crossing the Missouri on Friday, going to Iowa and speaking at the Judge Joseph Story Dinner. Is there any chance that you will challenge President Trump for the Republican nomination in 2020?”
SASSE: “Well, first of all, let’s be clear why I’m going to be in Iowa this weekend. I don’t want to admit it anywhere, let alone on national TV, but Nebraska lost to Iowa last year in a football game, and I lost a bet. So, I have to drive Uber in Iowa next weekend. So, that’s the reason I’m going to be in Iowa. It’s about Hawkeyes and Huskers’ bloodletting on the football field and the aftermath of that. But I don’t know who that guy is in your segment, but here’s what I believe.
“I believe that, on the Fourth of July weekend, we ought to have every kid in America having their moms and dads and aunts and uncles and grandmas and grandpas getting together and saying, we hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men and women are created equal, that they’re endowed by their creator with certain inalienable rights, that among these are life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.
“That’s what America is about. It’s not about Republicans and Democrats who have important differences on policy screaming at each other that the other side wants to kill somebody. Politics are subordinate to the things that are supposed to unite Americans. And this is a weekend that we should be celebrating all that.”
JOHN ROBERTS talks with SEN. JOE MANCHIN (D-W.VA.) on “FOX NEWS SUNDAY” -- “Manchin: Dems want to work with Trump on health care,” by Connor O’Brien: “Democratic Sen. Joe Manchin on Sunday said members of his party are willing to work with Republicans and President Donald Trump to find a bipartisan solution on health care. ... ‘I want him to know there are Democrats that want to work with him,’ Manchin said. ‘But right now, they can’t even repeal it. They can’t get 50 votes to repeal it because somebody’s getting hurt more than what they’re willing to sign on to.’ ‘Look at some of us. Work with us Democrats who are willing to meet you in the middle, who have always been willing to meet you in the middle,’ Manchin said.”
JOHN DICKERSON talks with SEN. MIKE LEE (R-UTAH) on CBS's "FACE THE NATION: DICKERSON: "If Republicans can't agree on a replacement option at the moment why would they be able to agree on one in the future?" LEE: "Well, if we adopted a measure, if we passed a measure repealing Obamacare, and put a delayed implementation measure in there. With the understanding that at that point after passing the repeal measure we would undertake the step by step process of deciding what comes next. I think it's easier, sometimes when you lump too many things into one piece of legislation, you doom its likelihood of success and I fear that that might be where we are today and i think that explains a lot of what President Trump was talking about in his tweet the other day. What Senator Sasse mentioned in his series of communications on Friday and I think it’s very much worth considering, it’s consistent with what I thought would be better, a more likely to succeed legislative strategy over the last six months."
REMEMBER THIS GUY? -- “Christie adds government shutdown to his legacy: The move comes after New Jersey lawmakers failed to pass a budget by the annual deadline,” by New Jersey Playbooker Matt Friedman: “Chris Christie is heading into his final six months as governor presiding over New Jersey’s biggest government crisis in more than a decade: A shutdown that will literally turn the lights out in Trenton. New Jersey lawmakers failed to pass a budget by the annual deadline at midnight last night, and Christie promptly issued an order sparking the closure of government offices and services deemed non-essential. State parks and beaches will likely be closed this morning, just in time for the holiday, as will motor vehicle offices. Courts could be closed come Monday. Tens of thousands of state government employees will be furloughed. …
“‘It’s all going to come down to when folks get up tomorrow for the July 4th weekend and drive down to Island Beach State Park to spend the day and a sign says it’s closed,’ said Patrick Murray, director of the Monmouth University Polling Institute. ‘They’re going to blame Gov. Christie and nobody else.’” … Subscribe to New Jersey Playbook
-- “Illinois blows budget deadline as threat of downgrade looms,”by Illinois Playbooker Natasha Korecki: “Illinois lawmakers blew their deadline for a budget agreement and instead entered their third fiscal year without a spending plan on Saturday, despite worries about the state facing an unprecedented downgrade to junk status.” … Subscribe to Illinois Playbook
THE CABINET -- NYT A1, “E.P.A. Chief Voids Obama-Era Rules in Blazing Start,” by Coral Davenport (online headline: “Counseled by Industry, Not Staff, E.P.A. Chief Is Off to a Blazing Start”): “In the four months since he took office as the Environmental Protection Agency’s administrator, Scott Pruitt has moved to undo, delay or otherwise block more than 30 environmental rules, a regulatory rollback larger in scope than any other over so short a time in the agency’s 47-year history, according to experts in environmental law. Mr. Pruitt’s supporters, including President Trump, have hailed his moves as an uprooting of the administrative state and a clearing of onerous regulations that have stymied American business. Environmental advocates have watched in horror as Mr. Pruitt has worked to disable the authority of the agency charged with protecting the nation’s air, water and public health.”
STEVEN BRILL in WaPo’s Outlook section, “Nine ways to really fix Obamacare”:
MEDIAWATCH -- “Wall Street Journal Said to Reduce Print Operations Outside U.S.,” by NYT’s Emily Steel and Prashant S. Rao: “The Wall Street Journal is scaling back its print operations in Europe and Asia, two people familiar with the plans said … [as] part of efforts by the news organization to cut costs and focus on its digital offerings. The latest move would involve greatly reducing publication of its print newspaper in Europe … That includes eliminating free copies and reducing hotel distribution deals that are not profitable. The Journal will continue to publish an Asian edition in Tokyo, but is exploring other ways to reduce print publishing elsewhere in Asia.”
FUN READ – “Beach reading for a summer of scandal,” by Darren Samuelsohn: “Feeling overwhelmed by nonstop news about the Russia probe and desperate for some historical context? Do you work or live at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue? If you answered yes to either of those questions, POLITICO has some summer reading recommendations for you. We canvassed veterans of previous investigations and longtime Washington fixtures for suggestions beyond All the President’s Men. Our list covers everything from subpoenas to grand juries and how a White House can weather scandal. Ahead of the Fourth of July holiday, here’s some great material to pack in your beach bag:
“‘A Timeline: Russia and President Trump,’ by Steven Harper, recommended by Nick Akerman, former assistant Watergate prosecutor ... ‘All the King’s Men,’ by Robert Penn Warren, recommended by Jim Manley ... ‘The Breach,’ by Peter Baker, recommended by Don Goldberg, former crisis communications spokesman, Clinton White House.” With four more selections
BONUS GREAT WEEKEND READS, curated by Daniel Lippman, filing from Great Barrington, Massachusetts:
--“The Rise of the Thought Leader: How the superrich have funded a new class of intellectual,” by David Sessions in TNR: “Interviewed for The Ideas Industry, [Niall] Ferguson is frank about his transformation from Oxford don to thought leader: ‘I did it all for the money.’ ... Thought leaders all share a core view that extreme wealth and the channels by which it was obtained are not only legitimate but heroic.” (h/t
--“Zohar’s Translation Unlocks the Secrets of Jewish Mysticism in an Age of Extremism,” by Newsweek’s Alexander Nazaryan: “Imagine the Old Testament as written by H.P. Lovecraft, Bible stories tripping on acid, rendered in difficult-to-decipher Aramaic, full of wisdom and beauty but shrouded in obscurity, a 1,900-page text written more than 700 years ago whose teachings have been embraced by celebrities like Madonna but not fully understood even by most scholars of Judaism.”
--“How We Save Face--Researchers Crack the Brain’s Facial-Recognition Code,” by Knvul Sheikh in Scientific American: “A Caltech team has deciphered the way we identify faces, re-creating what the brain sees from its electrical activity.”
--“Is the staggeringly profitable business of scientific publishing bad for science?” by Stephen Buranyi in the Guardian: “Despite the narrow audience, scientific publishing is a remarkably big business. With total global revenues of more than £19bn, it weighs in somewhere between the recording and the film industries in size, but it is far more profitable.”
--“Retail giants enable trucker exploitation,” by Brett Murphy in USA Today: “Powerhouses such as Target, Costco benefit while drivers plunge into debt.”
--“Anxiety at the Gates,” by Edward Schwarzschild in Hazlitt: “[E]very morning, as part of my job [as a TSA screener], I was supposed to run my hands up and down the legs, torsos, and arms of my fellow citizens. I was supposed to do this in such a way that no one would feel groped. Our cheerful instructors offered guidance. Exert the same pressure you use to spread peanut butter on a sandwich. Say clearly what you’re going to do and then do it. We’d grow numb to it before long, they assured us.” (h/t
--“The Killer in the Pool,” by Tim Zimmermann in the July 2010 issue of Outside magazine – per’s description: “In February 2010, a killer whale named Tilikum dragged his SeaWorld trainer into the pool and drowned her. It was the third time the orca had been involved in a death during his 27 years in captivity. This is his story.”
--“In the Light of the Conflict: Photographer Andrew Quilty’s experience in Afghanistan,” by Jelena Bjelica on Afghan Analysts Network: “I do not think of myself as a huge risk taker. A lot of planning goes into travel outside Kabul. We do not just jump in a taxi and head for the hills. I was inexperienced and a bit ignorant in Badakhshan, and probably pushed my luck more than I would these days. Now, working with colleagues, I’m often the one telling journalists to wrap up their interviews because it feels like we have been in one place too long.” ... 26 of his Afghan pix on one page
--“The Shah of Iran: An Interview with Mohammad Reza Pahlevi,” by Oriana Falaci in the Dec. 1, 1973 New Republic: “‘[A] monarchy is the only possible means to govern Iran. If I have been able to do something, a lot, in fact, for Iran, it is owing to the detail, slight as it may seem, that I’m its king. To get things done, one needs power, and to hold onto power one mustn’t ask anyone’s permission or advice.”
--“The Gay Men Who Fled Chechnya’s Purge,” by Masha Gessen in the New Yorker: “The stories of those who survived detention and torture and are now living undercover in Putin’s Russia.”
--“The Future of Coal Country,” by Eliza Griswold in the New Yorker: “A local environmental activist fights to prepare her community for life beyond mining.”
--“The Polaroids of the Cowboy Poet,” by Dan Zak in the Jan. 13, 2016 WaPo: “He captured a crumbling city and almost went down with it. Then one man saw his photos."
SPOTTED IN NANTUCKET: Greta Van Susteren and John Coale walking on the island’s Straight Wharf dock on Friday night.
OUT AND ABOUT IN THE HAMPTONS -- LALLY WEYMOUTH held her annual summer party last night at her house in Southampton. There was a long gold carpet entrance from where the parking was to a big tent next to her house. She served champagne, rare filet, fried chicken, cornbread, a big chocolate cake, ice cream and cookies decorated as American flags. Brother Don Graham did a big tribute to toast Lally (whose birthday is tomorrow) and shouted out Steven Spielberg’s upcoming film about how Ben Bradlee and Katharine Graham challenged the government for the right to publish the Pentagon Papers in 1971 (Tom Hanks is playing Bradlee and Meryl Streep is playing Graham). Don made a big deal that Spielberg was there and jokingly conceived a Spielberg movie about Lally and described the cast (some actors and some in the room).
-- SPOTTED: Jared and Ivanka chatting with Joel Klein and Alan Patricof, Kellyanne Conway on the dance floor, Boyden Gray, Chris Ruddy, Sen. Chuck Schumer (D-N.Y.) and wife Iris, Katharine Weymouth, Mary Jordan, Richard Cohen, Margaret Carlson, Gillian Tett, Steven Spielberg chatting with Steve Clemons and Robert Hormats, Carl Icahn, Tom Lee (famous for doing a leveraged buyout of Snapple and now lives in Princess Radziwill’s house), Charles Koch, John Paulson, Dina Powell, Richard Edelman, George Soros and his wife Tamiko Bolton, former Florida Gov. and Sen. Bob Graham (Lally’s uncle), her cousin Gwen Graham (who is running for Florida governor), Maria Bartiromo, Ray Kelly, Bill Bratton, Alan Patricof, Jeff Rosen, William Drozdiak, Rep. Lee Zeldin (R-N.Y.).
SPOTTED at a dinner Friday night in Aspen in honor of Fareed Zakaria hosted at the residence of Alexandra Munroe, senior curator at the Guggenheim and her husband Robert Rosenkranz, chairman of Intelligence Squared US: former U.S. Ambassador to Russia Michael McFaul, K.R. Sridhar, Karen Brooks and Bob and Soledad Hurst. Pic
WEEKEND WEDDINGS – “Chrysovalantis Kefalas, Thomas Pavlick” – N.Y. Times: “Mr. Kefalas, 37, is a vice president for executive communications at the National Association of Manufacturers, an advocacy group based in Washington. He graduated from Loyola University Maryland and received a law degree from the University of Baltimore. ... Mr. Pavlick [Tommy McFly], 31, is the host of ‘The Tommy Show,’ a weekly talk show on CBS Radio’s 94.7 Fresh FM in Bethesda, Md., and a special-projects reporter for WUSA 9, a television station in Washington. He graduated from Luzerne County Community College. ... The couple were introduced through mutual friends in July 2013 at Lauriol Plaza, a restaurant in Washington.” With pic
--POOL REPORT FROM KELLEY MCCORMICK: The ceremony was at “Sagamore Pendry Hotel in Baltimore on Saturday night, surrounded by family and friends. Officiated by Bob Madigan, serenaded by Erin Willett [of ‘The Voice’] and attended by Kelly Collis, Jen Richer, Samuel Ashner, and Zoe Shyn. Late night pizza and dancing was still going on when this report was filed [at 1:24 a.m.], with music being spun by DJ Neekola.” Pics ... ... The autobiographical cake by Charm City Cakes
SPOTTED: Ellie Schafer and Heather Rothenberg, Tammy Haddad, Kate Bennett, Kevin Baron, Cathy Merrill, Susanna Quinn, Matt Glassman (credited for first introducing the couple), Kelley and Brian McCormick, Jay Timmons and Rick Olson, Erin Streeter and Chris Israel, Wendy Gordon, Jill Collins, Elizabeth and Penelope Thorp, Jake Maccoby, Kris Van Cleve, Emily Miller, Peter Morris, Barbara and John Martin, Mike Drachkovitch and special guest Connor O’Donnell.
--“Eliese Lissner, Derek Callahan”: “The bride, 28 ... is the director of missions and an associate director of leadership at the Anti-Defamation League in New York. She develops international travel programs to engage lay leadership, and recently coordinated the league’s mission to Rome, where she met Pope Francis. She graduated from Drew University and received a master’s degree in integrated marketing from N.Y.U. ... The groom, 30, is a news producer in Englewood Cliffs, N.J., for CNBC’s ‘Mad Money,’ a financial investment program hosted by Jim Cramer, and is pursuing an M.B.A. through Syracuse. He graduated from Ithaca College.” With pic
OBAMA ALUMNI -- “Nirupama Rao, Matthew Landy”: “The bride, 35, is an assistant professor of economics and public policy at N.Y.U. Next month, she is to join the faculty of the University of Michigan. She graduated from M.I.T., where she also received a Ph.D. in economics. From 2015 to 2016, she served as a senior economist at the Council of Economic Advisers in Washington. … The groom, 44, is a portfolio manager in New York for Lazard Asset Management. He also serves on the board of Friends of the Children New York, a nonprofit that mentors at-risk children. He graduated from Monash University in Melbourne, Australia.”
--Former Obama White House intern and Navy officer Mark Jbeily married Helen Hansen, art historian and Courtauld alum, at Perkins Chapel in Dallas on Saturday. “Helen and Mark met in their first day of their first class of their first year at UT. Both just finished graduate school in the UK where Mark was a Marshall Scholar, and they are now off to Pensacola for Mark’s naval aviation training.” Pics ...
TRANSITIONS: Chris Kelley has started on API’s federal relations team as a director focused on international and corporate issues. He most recently was deputy chief of staff for Rep. Brad Ashford (D-Neb.).
BIRTHWEEK (was Friday): Kristen Ellingboe, researcher for CAP Action
BIRTHDAY OF THE DAY: Jonathan Capehart, WaPo opinion writer and MSNBC contributor. How he’s celebrating: “I’ll be with my husband Nick with our friends Bryan Rafanelli and Mark Walsh at their home in Provincetown.” Read his Playbook Plus Q&A:
BIRTHDAYS: Courtney Geduldig, EVP of public affairs of S&P Global ... Brad Todd, founding partner of On Message … David Lopez, director of special projects and advisor to the president and CEO at the Kaiser Family Foundation and an Obama WH alum ... Luci Baines Johnson is 7-0 -- she was recognized in a bipartisan Congressional Record tribute by Reps. Eddie Bernice Johnson (D-Texas) and Joe Barton (R-Texas): (hat tip: Lyndon Boozer) ... Katherine Lehr ... Politico’s Victoria Adeniji and Maria Rivero ... DCCC deputy research director Sammi McClain, an HFA alum … former White House chief of staff and former N.H. Gov John H. Sununu is 78 (h/t Ryan Williams) ... former Mexican President Vicente Fox is 75 (h/t Mexican Amb. to the U.S. Geronimo Gutiérrez, Fox’s former undersecretary of foreign affairs) ... Larry David is 7-0 (h/t Dick Keil) ... former Philippine first lady Imelda Marcos is 88 ... Scott McGee of Kelley Drye & Warren ... Matthew Dybwad, senior sales account manager at Adobe ... Fenton CEO Ben Wyskida is 4-0 ... Gus Ericson is 27 … Kara Rowland, Fox News Capitol Hill producer ... CNN Politics’ Alysha Love ... Berrin Tunçel ... Rep. Elise Stefanik (R-N.Y.) is 33 (h/t Nala) ... Rep. Doug LaMalfa (R-Calif.) is 56 ... Rep. Randy Weber (R-Tex.) is 64 ... former Rep. Mike Castle (R-Del.) is 78 ... Collin Davenport is 31 ... RSLC’s Devon Gallagher ... WaPo’s Jessie Niewold ...
... Gina Woodworth, SVP of public policy and gov’t affairs at the Internet Association ... Derek Gianino, director of international policy at the U.S. Chamber … U.S. Army Captain Chuck Nadd, founder of nonprofit Operation American Dream ... Sara Roberts ... NFL’s Caroline Keyes ... Arkadi Gerney, executive director of the Hub Project and SVP of campaigns and strategies at CAP Action ... Ethan Oberman, co-founder and CEO of SpiderOak, is 41 ... Trevor Neilson ... Jean Cecil Frick ... Marie Formica, delivery manager at Benefitfocus and FamousDC alum ... Reuters’ Michele Gershberg ... Sam Nitz ... Jonathan Woods … Brooke Oberwetter Coon … Emily Stanitz … Lily Velasquez … Lyndsey (Hamilton) Fifield ... Hannah Rosenthal … Sam Hutchison … Michael Matthews … John Brown ... Susan Vilmain (h/ts Teresa Vilmain) ... Ali Chishti ... Ashley Zohn ... Mike Chapman ... Josh Cahan ... figure skater Johnny Weir is 33 ... Lindsay Lohan is 31 ... actress Margot Robbie is 27 (h/ts AP)
submitted by feedreddit to arableaks [link] [comments]

2017.03.08 23:50 Geek_Panties Well I stopped being no-contact after months and months...

I was hospitalized three times last year. At the Colin Ross institute. And I decided when I went in I wasn't gonna talk to my nmom. I wrote her a letter, and sent it to her thinkingknowing it would fall on at the very least, partially deaf ears...but then she got breast cancer. And I didn't talk to her for months. The letter is below. Its dated 7/7/16...(add the last to together and its 777, lucky? Hell IDK. This could be triggering for anyone so be fore-warned.
I have, as you know, been in the hospital... a trauma unit that specializes in D.I.D. and PTSD. I've learned so much. I've learned about myself, you, T (sister), and so many people. And I get what I couldn't grasp before. I have clarity. Peace.
I hear you too are going through something equally as tough, and my heart goes out to your suffering. But I guess my boundary wasn't clear. I am sad. I have allowed you to let this play keep going around like a bizarre carousel. It must stop sometime.
My mental illness is due to trauma. From my childhood. I opened myself, trusting in unconditional motherly love, and told you some of the darkest things I have kept to myself for so long. And you denied and invalidated me. Threw me aside.
I am a person. I have feelings too, and know now how you used yours to control and emotionally abuse me for years. Even the physical abuse. Yes. Even that. When you'd react out of emotion. Not logic.
Something happened in Florida (I'm not at liberty to talk) about between my partner and I, and I had to prepare for something daunting. Getting off oxycodone. Even after that. I knew I needed more help. I then went into the hospital.
Three days in I decided not to speak to you again. Not write. Not text. Not email.
You recognize the parts of our time as a family that I can't remember. Happy times. I haven't felt that way around you for a long time. I've felt destroyed by your inability to just love me unconditionally. Use my pronouns. I go by they/them. People inpatient cared more than you did about that. That's a huge 'trigger' for me as the therapy world calls it.
I don't know half my family. The Bashams' side... I have severe illness that you deny, but you can't do that anymore. I have my validation. In myself. I am the only one who can validate me.
I won't act out of emotion anymore, as you raised me, just because that's all I've learned from you, growing up. I have few happy memories. We don't know you. [here I started dissociating]
"I want a superficial relationship!" We get flashbacks to that moment. It felt like you were throwing my love and need in my face. My little alter, Boo (3-5) came out in your arms crying "Mommy!" and luckily I 'came back' because you really cut me deep that...entire 5 days. I just wanted to visit my family.
"Call anytime you need me, I'm here for you geek_panties." I call in need, and you can't do it. You get mad at me.
I don't know if you've been diagnosed, but with how I explain my life from my understanding-they are fragmented and blurry, but still there-I wish you'd get help. I know you're suffering from more than Breast Cancer, and moving out of your mom's house doesn't make it better. You have mental illness. Taylor does, grandma even I imagine.
I wish I could say things more eloquently. I was hurt and angry that you were taking me off the insurance at the end of this year, because you said you'd keep me on till I was 26. I now have to rush my top surgery. It's not going to be easy. But I guess my insurance from daddy's SSID might help, if I can win the case. I can go to college. I can have transport. I can be a 'normal'. Yet.
So many broken promises. Do you remember when you've grabbed me, and hurt me? I do. I get flashbacks and night terrors over those many incidents, of that I can remember.
I've tried to work around you. Tried to work with you. But it just doesn't work. I've given you so many chances.
I'm out of treatment. I'm still sick. I will always have this. My hearts scarred, bent, and broken. I have attachment issues. I cling to anyone who will love me. It's sad and makes me easily manipulatable.
I've had so many questions answered by the path I am following. Taking Ayahuasca was a big part of that.
My father was an amazing human being. I don't go a day not thinking or having flashbacks about him. I still wish I could have freed him like he wanted, last visit...It felt sicking. I don't get to go to CO often, but that's okay. I get you both were in pain. But this hurts too.
I do see slight irony in this situation of yours. I've prayed to the universe to give me breast cancer for years. Interesting. I've prayed that since I was 17. Something to just make me wonder.
I won't let you deny my Self. My identity. And certainly don't need any of your approval, not anymore.
I don't give a shit, simply. As I put it to Dr. Colin Ross in my cognitive behavioral therapy. You've taken enough of my soul.
I have been through horror, more than anyone could ever know or guess. But I was in the trauma unit for trauma you caused me. Not my sexual perpetrators. Well one. The one you told me drunk one New Years Eve, you deny it now. But I don't care. I'm gonna do everything I can to stand up and be myself. I am getting top surgery. I am going to succeed regardless of how I was broken. I thank you, sincerely, because I now know I am not alone. That other family's acted like ours. Screaming what...everyday? That's what I recall. Thank you for giving me the shield known as trauma to learn and teach others about. So the next generation's more loving and more mindful. I am thankful for all the things you paid for me, the art studio, horseback, New York. But you weren't PART of it. You just gave me stuff to do, it seemed it that ways. Maybe I'm too hurt to really know for sure. Thank you for all that (crap) therapy. Seriously. They were all horrible. But I am still thankful, because at least you tried. Thank you for letting me buy boys clothes. Thank you for everything you did with good intent. I mean that with my entire soul.
Against my therapists advice, my Doctors too, I am emailing you now because you seemed unable to wait. So here we are. Cross roads.
I am 24. I'm engaged. I've come to you as your child. However, I now come to you as an adult. I want you to have no contact with me. There's the punch line. I'm sorry, this must hurt you especially while you're sick...I can't keep having panic attacks and memory loss after you call or text... but I can't have the kind of relationship that you want, I need someone to call in the middle of the night. I need someone who loves and accepts me for who I am and not simply abandon my gender identity. I know you can't. I accept that. I mourn what I tried to make better, rather fix, and that I failed. I can't keep up like this with you. You threaten to call police because I haven't called you? I'm 24. And I have a support system here, now. So I'm okay. You don't have to worry about me anymore.
I don't know what else to say, so the ramble continues...I love you as a human being, and I hope you get better, I really do. I hope someday you try Ayahuasca. It's a powerful medicine. I hope you pull through this sickness, and become well, full, and whole. I wish there was a better way to do this. I'm sorry I couldn't do it in person. That might be the only regret I have. If you turn off my phone, I understand. Do whatever you want but please don't lie about me. Don't send people after me. Phone calls. Texts. Rage. I am doing this for my spiritual, mental, emotional, and psychical well being. I send you pure thoughts of healing and growth. I wish there was another option, but for now this must be as it is. I bequeath you of your motherly duty to me as a child, young adult, and adult. I am my ideal mother and will learn with current medicine while I still have time.
Oh, I've been anorexic since I was 14, self harmer since 6th grade, drug abuser there is a difference for about 3 years now. Because a doctor told me it was okay. I quit smoking. I've wondered if you smoked or drank when I was in the womb out of sheer curiosity. My brain is so very uniquely tuned for what is coming. States are going to sescceed, civil wamartial law will be implemented soon.
I'm very smart, you always told me that. But never made me feel like I was. I have a unique talent that only a few people in the world recognize. I am going to make changes. I want to give trauma survivors, PTSD vets, terminal illness end of life anxiety, autism anxiety reducing therapy. I know you never took me very seriously about my psychedelic experiences. But I have forgiven everyone who's hurt me, entirely. It's kinda what I'll be doing now. I am a Visionary Program Volunteer to help out with harm reduction at music festivals.
I am starting to draw and write. I am getting better. I even got dog therapy 2 times a week, which made missing Maggie less painful.
If I get payment from my FIRST SSDI under Daddy's SSI I may have back payments of $24,000. But I'd probably give my guardianship of self to Ryan to help keep me in check. I am so deeply in debt. Three hospital visits in two years?[it turned out to be six] Getting mis-gendered by my last GP. And them firing the only guy who had the ability to give me testosterone. So I have to figure that out before the insurance is pulled.
That flippant email you sent about govt services, it pissed me off. Do not EVER use my name or my info online, please. Especially with government services. First off it's impersonation and false identification. I am very aware of what's happening. Oh and if you hear I've died by suicide, or foul play or something odd, for future reference, I DID NOT AND WILL NOT KILL MYSELF.
I want this to be civil. So goodbye. Peace and Love in all divine you are.
P.s. I will try to contact grandma. And Taylor. But I don't know how they will react to this either. So. Let it Be. I am not doing anything wrong.
[From here on it's foggy and I wasn't aware this portion was sent] -Alter;I will miss the wonderful things with you. I wish I could remember more. Everyday I lose more and more time. If you've gone though the emails I've sent you about my illness, you know. But my gut doubts it, my heart craves to believe you did read and learn, or watch and gain knowledge. I will never know my father, I gracefully accept that.
What I address here is but mere speculation, but why were you pushing him to the brink when you knew he was sick? Why did you desert him? Why didn't you just stop, and think for one moment what he was going through?
Oh. Yeah.
I will never know you, your walls too thick with your own pain you can't hear me cry out.
I've tried to have civil, deep, meaningful conversations with you. Via Text. Email, and even on the phone. No email responses. Nothing. I am shut out.
I fear I will lose my sister over this. This should be between you and I, not her. Over me making what I have learned is a positive choice in my life, and that's sad she doesn't see it that way. She has learned this from you as well. The anger. The attitude. I was hoping to see her when she comes down and still get my belongings. If you speak with her please let her know, I don't want to have to come get my stuff myself but I will. I really am very thankful for you all doing that, I am trying to build my own home and I feel like so many pieces are missing. My paintings. My dolls. My shadow box. *Daddy's ashes. Books, my school assignments, I'd like to have as many pictures and things I can. VHS even. (These items help me remember things) And anything and everything I ever earned, like trophies or awards, stuff like that. Things to help connect good memories to you and our family. I send you once again my healing heart to you, I know you are strong. This is just another test for you, you know. Not the christian god, but for you to take an inner glance and find serenity and peace in the good you've gotten out of all these years of life. I think you suffered severe trauma and have been holding it in. I wish I could help you, but the bridge is burnt. I may have a way to rebuild that bridge, but in reality I will make no promises.
I hope you respond. I will read. But do doubt I respond in kind.
I wanted to be happy, as a family. But after 24 years of insanity, I'm out. I doubt you'll forgive me, I don't blame you. I loved you dearly Debbie. I hope maybe you can forgive me in time.
Hate me today-Blue October Kelly Clarkson - Because Of You VNV Nation - Illusion - Lyrics Simple Plan - Perfect (Official Video) Lindsay Lohan - Confessions Of A Broken Heart (Daughter To Father) Mama - My Chemical Romance Evanescence - Everybody's Fool
*I sent this and a few months later (11/14/16) she emailed me, I blocked her on my phone (which was broken anyway, yay being abused by your loved ones! *sarcasm)...which was broken after I had a door busted over my back and head by my roommate for "calling" (I -tried- to call his best friend...but he unplugged the cable box and I didn't have a phone that worked without it) the cops because he was trying to grab me and force me outside, my name is on the bill, and we both live here. Apparently I was being too loud to him. Logic, right? That night I fought like hell. I know I am rambling but I think this will be a good way to process the majority of last year. Sorry folks...anywho, I had my pepper spray in my right hand and my phone in the left. I ran from the living room yelling that I was going to call the cops (he's 6 foot 4, I am 4 foot nine. I weighed 120 and he 220. He's twice my size feeling physically sick) because he was trying to force me outside where I'd panic and yell louder, duh. I ran to the bathroom and realized Id forgotten that the lock didn't work. There was a stool in the room, so I propped it up against my legs and the sink. He kept trying to force his way in until he kicked it in. Over my head, and my back. I froze as this all happened (later on he asked why I just didn't move, flight fight freeze, I was stunned), and let him break it in half. I have pictures on Facebook. Of the door. Anyway, I try to leave the bathroom and he swats my phone hand and breaks my phone further, totally dead...and I try to pepper spray him in the face, it backfires and hits my lower mouth and my lips burn with my rage. Then he decided to grab a pillow he promised NOT to EVER touch. And the biggest knife in the kitchen. And says "You want this?" I told him to do what he wants. After that its a little foggy. I switched personalities, gave him a blowjob with pepper spray mouth, took his phone and wallet and woke up in a hotel only remembering the fight.
At this time my mom emailed me. We corresponded via email, and I can now say we have a much better relationship as we talk on Facebook and have wonderful phone calls. She is trying to understand DID and my gender. I hear it in the way she speaks, the idea of losing me forever as she was getting breast cancer treatments HAD to have weighed on her mind, I just know it. I hope I can live somewhere where people don't argue for a change.
I am still in love with him, but I do refer to him to outsiders as my roommate. I had another abuse situation happen with him that put me back in the hospital. He punched my arm because I was trying to get a can of duster out of his hands...he knocked me to the floor. The bruise was so bad that while I was in trauma unit I had to cover it up for fear of triggering others. thought healthcare people HAD to report abuse, especially when you tell them that's what happened, but I guess that's none of MY business. Later he said cruelly, "Bitch you deserved it!".
I've been no go damn angel. But there is danger here when he's in an arguing mood and I'm hyper-vigilant and beyond able to deal with his tactics.
So were gonna live apart for a while. But I am probably gonna go visit my mom in AZ and he's moving 2.5 hours away from where she lives. I don't want to give up, not on a five year relationship, but I also want to be respected for what I am able to do vs not for not being able to.
I may move to the same place, but I'd have my own domain, and would have lots of people around me who are loving peaceful humans. They follow the Non-agression Principal so that bs won't fly there. I feel so proud to be where I am right this moment. I've worked so hard.
Thank you for the reading, advice, comments, questions, and anything else is welcome. Peace and Love<3
submitted by Geek_Panties to raisedbynarcissists [link] [comments]

2013.11.26 18:15 tabledresser [Table] IAmA: I used to be a paparazzo (2007-2011). I'm here to reveal all secrets of the dirty work and talk about celebrities.

Verified? (This bot cannot verify AMAs just yet)
Date: 2013-11-26
Link to submission (Has self-text)
Questions Answers
I heard that Daniel Radcliffe basically made all paparazzo photos of him worthless because he wore the same clothes everyday - making it look like all photos taken of him were done the same day. Basically Radcliffe got it right. This though, is pretty difficult with women who no matter what will try to look great in their outfits (I guess not all women, ehem.. Kristen Stewart). Leo Di Caprio is also good at making his pictures worthless (and worth a lot at the same time), but he takes it a step further. I heard that even when he goes out to restaurants he asks for the table that faces a wall, doesn't look up to the waiter and never takes off his hat or sunglasses.
What other clever ways have celebrities burned the paparazzi? And what suggestions do you have to celebrities that want to make their photos, "worthless?" Are you a celebrity? Cuz there's even more things that you could do to make your picture worthless (or for the paparazzi to be worthless). Good luck to you!
What was the most disruptive or invasive thing that you ever did to get that money shot? The worst one that haunted me for days... was Marcia Cross' twin daughters birthday with her husband that had cancer.
It was super creepy, worked with a partner, never left the car where I was hidden and took pictures of them enjoying a day in the park. When they went for coffee later, they saw us and they were super chill and nice people. Seriously, I couldn't believe they were so nice. They knew we were always there in the car taking pictures and thank us for giving them their space. Still super creepy. I hated that job.
I'm sure I did more similar things... you know.. being a creep is part of the job. But that's the one I just remembered right now.
Never really did anything "invasive" out of the ordinary that I can think off. Bruce Willis did call the cops on me once because he said I was trying to get into his property. This was not true, I simply was peeing in a bush in Mulholland ave...
If you suddenly became super famous, would you complain about not having privacy, being followed etc. or would you suck it up and say it's part of your life now? Would you smile and talk to paps or openly hate them? Of course I thought of this before. I believe that privacy is a lost issue now a days with the internet and the NSA. I am not embarrassed of who I am and I believe I would smile and talk to them openly.
I would hate it if I was in my honeymoon or something of that sort and some asshole was shooting me with a 500+ lens. But there's an easy way to avoid this from happening and many celebrities have figured it out (just take pics yourself and throw them online for free, kills the money shot)
I would follow the example of people that admired and were great with the paps. They are just people working for some shitty media that wants some shitty news.
The Cult of Personality. How demeaning was it to take pictures of celebrities? Here in NYC, we ignore them and they can live a fairly normal life and actually walk around (except John Lennon). NYC has a lot of paps and they don't ignore them. LA works pretty much the same. A lot of people ignore them, but a lot of people go to the city just to see a celebrity so of course they go wild when they see one.
It was pretty demeaning, especially being an artist myself. But I did get to see awesome people and even shook hands with Paul McCartney.
What's the worst or meanest celebrity you met? I had a chance of meeting a lot of celebrities too, and I have to say that Eddie Murphy is a major douche. Sean Penn punched a friend of mine in like the second week of the job.
Javier Bardem spat in my eye (and I was so nice to him).
There's a lot out there that are douches, but for the most part, they were nice. They are just like people, some assholes, some regular folks and then the extremely super nice.
I never saw Eddie Murphy, but what you say makes sense. In comparison, Samuel L. Jackson is fucking awesome and nice, and you would think he would be the mean one.
Damn. i thought javier bardem was cool. He can still be cool. I saw him a couple more times and he was dickish, but no spitting on my face.
Maybe he was having a bad day, maybe he is just a general asshole or has no idea what to be a pap is like, but the dude is a pretty good actor though I hated him on Love in the Time of Cholera. I have a few friends that are a fan of his and got sad with my experience with him. But fuck it, just hope the guy thinks about the shit that he did. I mean, that's like one of the worst thing you can ever do (to spit on someone's face). I think I rather be punched.
There's a lot out there that are douches. I did not provoke him or did not hound him. I was super nice to him and gave him space. I thought he was going to shake my hand like many before him have, that's why I turned around.
I work in Hollywood and I would have kicked him in his fucking knee and buckled him. Well... then I would have gotten arrested and worse. The paps never have anything going for them.
Did you ever see/meet anyone from the Chili Peppers? Yes. I have "famous" pictures of Anthony Kiedis and his son Everly Bear (I think that's his name). I'll link you or post them soon.
Anthony was really really chill and a really nice person.
Also saw Flea and Chad. Both great guys, but virtually worthless in pictures in the paparazzi realm.
Edit: Here's Anthony with his kid.
Cool pic. No sign of John Frusciante? =P. Had to google John Frusciante, I believe I saw him, but never tried to sell his picture. Searched my hard drive as well... nothing.
So do you just hang around the gates all day and see who turns up, or do you have vague ideas of who to expect? More than vague ideas. A detailed list of what flight they were on and constant calls from several sources even giving me more information.
What odd similarities do you find between celebrities and people? Odd? There's no odd similarities. Celebrities are people. They have two ears, two eyes, a mouth and a nose, two arms (etc. etc.)
Ohh ohh.
I see your redditor name now.
Does the industry establish any limits or unwritten rules when it comes to your profession? Is there a line that most are unwilling to cross when it comes to getting a shot? There are. But now there's too many idiot paps breaking the unwritten laws. So the limits have been disappearing and people will do whatever to take a picture. TMZ has pretty basic rules for their videographers about respect and not shoot if they the talent doesn't want to be shot. If you see a video of asshole paps filming and just provoking celebs, they weren't TMZ (or they were and got fired).
If you are still answering questions, what was the nicest thing a bodyguard said to you or the strangest thing a body guard did? Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen's bodyguard was super chill. He always told me how things were going to go down, didn't block my picture, just did his job.
Fergie's bodyguard is like her best friend. He was also always awesome.
Jessica Simpson's bodyguard told me about all the people he had worked with before. He was also a former cop and marine. I asked him what would he do if I was an actual threat. In less than a second my arms were locked painfully behind my back and couldn't move. Super badass.
Holy shit. I wanna meet that last bodyguard. Sounds like that was a lot of fun. Also did you meet anyone that you still keep in contact with? Uhh.. there's a lot of people I still keep in contact from LA, but not an actual celebrity that I met.
I'm not going to name drop, but a friend of mine is a comedy stand up has been in a few shows and might be getting a movie deal soon.
I slept with a girl who is now in movies, youtube shows, commercials and shows. I keep contact with her, mostly because I want it to happen again. I don't think it will happen again.
Mary Kate and Ashley's (former) bodyguard! I know him, he's my friend! Yay! :) Bald guy that always wear pink shirts?
They switched bodyguards quite a few times. If that was him, he is a cool dude. Thank him for being a cool bodyguard for me.
Based on the years you spent as a paparazzo, I assume you had some experience with Britney Spears? As that was around the time of her 'breakdown' which brought on a major media frenzy. Tell me everything about her! Oh god...
Yep. She was indeed crazy. I tried hitting on her with the fantasy that I would be in someday and I was just 21...
What can I say that hasn't been said before? The camera I used when I switched agencies was the very same one that took the picture of her shaving her head and her vagina. My boss was like "this camera and I have been through a lot, break it and you are fired." (He was half kidding and I loved that D3)
My first jobs as a pap was Britney. She did randomly talk in British accents and was widely unpredictable. It was always a mess with shit tons of people trying to get pictures. One time she drove around in circles in a parking lot as 20 pap cars followed her. She would park, pretend to get out of the car, all the paps would jump out, but then she would just get in again and drive around the parking lot.
This pap told me a story that one day they were outside her house waiting for her. When she decided to come out and invite all the paps inside for a BBQ and a party but with no cameras. They obliged and went inside her house where she went to a different room. He said she then went to a different room and when she came back asked wtf they were doing there and called security to kick them out. He also said that he went inside a room that had random sex toys and shit smeared on the walls. THIS IS NOT MY STORY. Just a story I heard when house sitting some place else.
After her breakdown I saw her at LAX a couple of times. She always seem faded, almost robotic as her handlers took her through security and put her on her plane.
Edit: I actually already wrote about Britney on my blog and tell the stories there of when I saw her.
Have you ever been attacked by someone who didn't appreciate being photographed? Javier Bardem spat in my eye and that was about it.
Other people hide or run away, but none really attacked. Justin Bieber and I played a little game of see who can run faster. I won.
Oh yeah, and Beyonce's bodyguards. They push you and attack you, no fucks are given.
"I need you step out of the car, sir" This was at LAX. He was walking with Penelope and I was giving them distance while saying really nice things in Spanish (welcome to LA, I'm a huge fan, I love your work). He was about to get in his car when he turned around and I thought he was going to extend his hand to shake and say thank you (like many other celebs have). Instead he said "Eres basura" and spat in my eye. I saw Penelope freaking out, I saw his helper freaking out... I freaked out. I yelled back that I was just a guy trying to pay his fucking college debt working a shitty job, but no fucks were given. He got inside the car and left. I called my boss, he told me I had a lawsuit in my hands, specially because there was witnesses. I thought about it and talked to the police. They told me I could press charges under attack with a biological weapon (yep..) and it was going to be a whole fucking mess. I decided to drop it and leave it to karma.
"Would you hold still please"
spits in your face
To be fair paps are trash and only help feed America's unhealthy obsession with garbage that doesn't matter while helping them ignore the stuff that does. Lots of other ways to make money. I'm glad he spat in your face, he was right. Spitting in someone's face isn't the worst thing ou can do, spying on someone who is terminally ill and spending time with their family is worse. Do you actually have respect for yourself after doing that job? You should read the whole AMA and not only the asshole part. I answered your question before.
Totally agree that paps help feed the trash. Let us not forget is not only America that is obsessed with celebrities, my pictures sold worldwide (and Australia can be worse).
If you spat on someone's face... congratulations. You are an asshole... sir Asshole_Mountain.
Also if you were a tourist in LA where is the one spot you would go to see celebrities easily? Uhh... try the usual hang out places? Robertson? Beso restaurant? The thing is.. there's so many celebrities that a lot of people see them and not even realize it.
Have you known anyone before they became famous - or on the way up? If so, has that been beneficial later on? Yes. Tons of people. When I started, Twilight was nothing. My neighbor was Nikki Reed and she was awesome. We figured our birthdays were one day apart and we had a lot of similar interests (she going to college for art history which I also partake).
Also, Selena Gomez was just the little girl from Wizards of Waverly place. Miley Cyrus was just Miley. I saw both of them become massive which was super weird. They were both super nice when barely famous, but it changed fast.
There's more like that...
It was beneficial in the way that if they remember who I was, they were super nice to me. Like Vanessa Hudgens. She always smiled at my camera and other paps were always like WTF?! how do you do that?! It sounds super dumb, but I miss her sometimes...
If you look at my comments section, I've never said a bad word about Vanessa. She's such a sweet and down to earth person. She eats with the crew and is always happy and smiling. She's got a very magnetic personality. I miss her. She was one of my favorites. I would always make her smile and blush.
Which celebrities are the most 'in demand'? Do you think any celebrities genuinely get unfairly harassed or are excessively pursued by the paparazzi? Jennifer Aniston, Brad Pitt and Jolie are the top 3 demands and will always be a good sell.
Uhh... its not the paparazzi that chooses who to pursue, is the obsessed audience that wants to know more about a certain person. Some get unfairly harassed when the media only cares about them. I remember Rihanna after the Chris Brown days, everyone was in that case (I shied away from on demand stories). She definitely was pursued like crazy for a while.
I understand what you mean - that was poorly phrased! My apologies. I guess I wondered if you felt there are celebrities who can legitimately complain about the involvement of the press in their lives. I particularly wondered in light of what you said about celebrities who used to be child stars hating it; I've seen the clips of Suri Cruise telling paps to photograph her doll instead of her, and I wonder how this will impact her later. Do you think there's an increase in how involved audiences want to be with the children of celebrities? I believe that America and every country should adapt the no baby pictures like in Europe, where they blur the pictures of anyone under a certain age.
It truly is fucked up that Suri Cruise is as famous as she is. BABIES BABIES BABIES. The magazines and my bosses would yell at me for that. I don't understand celebrity obsession, much less celebrity baby obsession.
I think that's the part of things I've found hardest to comprehend. While I find the interest in celebrity coming-and-goings to be a little off, I can understand it as being a sort of aspirational thing. When it comes to the current trend of knowing what is going on with celebrity babies, and the trend of (some) celebrities creating web presences for their babies via instagram and twitter, I find it really strange. When I think how many sad stories there are about child celebrities not coping with the work or the fame for something they've done, I compare it to a generation of celebrity children, in particular Suri Cruise, who are famous and magazine-fodder for doing nothing except carrying some genetics. I don't see this going anywhere good. And, like you, I don't understand the celebrity baby obsession. I have one more question if you have time! Do you think the presence of social media (while obviously making it easier for selfies etc and undermining your job) has made celebrities in general more open and accepting of public scrutiny? Celebrities that have a social media presence are for the most part better off. But have to be always careful about what they post online, anything can be taken out of context. For myself, I know there's people that are going to upvote me and people that are going to downvote me. I'm happy for those who appreciate me and don't care about the haters that just hate (unless they have something constructive to say). I think many celebs are grasping this notion. There's probably as many Justin Bieber fans as Bieber haters and he should understand that not everyone is going to like him. This is what everyone should acknowledge and everyone would be fine (or that is my view).
I'm not trying to give you a hard time, cos I appreciate you're answering the questions, even the 'hard' ones, which is more than many AMAs, but... Hahaha.
I believe that America and every country should adapt the no baby pictures like in Europe, where they blur the pictures of anyone under a certain age. My agency sold those pictures before. The harm was already done, did not think much of it. Also, the only pics I have of Kiedis are with his kid. I wasn't going to get out of my way to blur that out.
You just posted an un-blurred pic of Kiedis' toddler. What gives? But you are right that I would prefer to have that picture blurred out (also, I should be watermarking my pictures, but laziness!)
Generally, how do you find out when "celebrities" will be at a location? Is it random chance? Or do their publicists tip you off and they just act surprised? Already answered this in some ways.
Random chance happened a lot (I mean, Aleksander Skarsgard and Bai Ling lived in my same apartment complex)
Anyone and everyone will tip you off. Publicists sometimes give information without the knowledge of the celebrity, so they are genuinely surprised.
Do you have any picture of bai ling where she's not trying to nip slip? Looked through my hard drive. Apparently Yes.
There's a set of her eating at Fish Market in Venice, boring pictures of her just applying make up.
There's another set of her arriving to LAX with a red shirt on. Boring pictures of her again.
I guess the only ones that make the light of day are those that show her pencil eraser nipple.
Did you make friends with any of them? If I were a celebrity I'd try to have one paparazzi friend... one. I would like to say yes... but friendship is a two way street, so I know it's silly to think they were my friends.
I chatted up with many and even hung out, gave them my business cards and what not. But no one ever called me :(
I've heard that celebs will call pap to tip them off, is this a common occurrence? Yes, depends on the situation. Some need the media attention at just the right moment.
Hello. Did you talk with Diego Luna and Gael Garcia?? As a mexican I'm really proud they are doing so well in the international film business. YES! As a Mexican and a huge fan of all their work I had to talked to them. I approached them to get that picture of me with them at LAX.
Gael was a bit of a dick and Diego was the nicest fucking guy ever. Gael was confronting me because I took more than one picture, he told me that one was enough. I told him that in the business I keep shooting until I get the right frame. Diego calmed Gael and asked me to direct them to the taxis. I helped them navigate LAX while taking pictures and Gael was still being dickish (while Diego super chill)
Iñarritu was there with them as well, but I didn't bug him because he was with his family.
Also saw Diego once in a bathroom in a bar in LA. I was already drunk and walking out when he was walking in. I randomly yelled "DIEGO!" and he looked at me with a "do I know you" type face. I just told him I was a fan, shook his hand and left the awkward situation.
That's really cool, I just saw you got Tijuana at your twitter, I'm from Monterrey. Viva Mexico!!! maybe you could make another AMA at /mexico. Soy Queretano and active member of /mexico ;)
They love to downvote in that subreddit... I might give it a try. I'm also going around TJ giving talks of what it was like to be a paparazzi.
Did you work as paparazzi at Tijuana when the artists went to vacations? No artist comes to Tijuana for vacation. I worked mostly in Los Angeles though I went to several other places.
I don't pap anymore, but if I spot one in TJ, I know I'll have to take their picture. Macaulay Culkin was here not that long ago and I missed him and I'm glad I didn't see him.
Va para el cerrito? Si hay cafe de olla y un quesito fresco, con mucho gusto.
Yucateco acá... Solo... hola. Mare! bombaaa!
Out of 10 A-list celebrities how many are in the closet? 3 out of 10? 5 out of 10?'s a cliche question I know but i still need to know. Hahaha.
I think I have a decent enough gaydar and I would say that is more than you imagine. Tons of Hollywood waiters (wanna be models/actors) like to claim that they have slept with celebrities so I have heard that a lot are.
Any Alec Baldwin encounters? Hahaha... oh yes. The man flies from LAX to JFK a lot. I saw him a bunch. He was never nice but also never a dick.
Never anything bad but I do suspect he has no teeth. He was also embarrassed whenever his daughter picked him up for some reason.
No teeth? Yes, like he has prosthetic teeth and takes them out at will (like Grandpa!)
I believe the word you are looking for is "dentures". AHH yes. I couldn't think of that!
Do you have a most prized photo of a celeb? (more so personally to you, not what everyone else wanted) One of my favorites was Lindsay Lohan in Hawaii. It was like my first travel job and major sale and the first time using a 500mm lens. But there's a lot of other pictures I treasure (like the aforementioned Paul McCartney).
Do you have any pictures of Tom Hiddleston? I'm such a giddy fangirl Never saw Hiddleston, he was not famous when I was around, sorry :(
What is the need for all this following around? How's the attitude and how are the people who you work with? There seems to be no care about giving people their space, and their private time is it, and sounds like this is an industry for just people who don't care about others? There are a lot who are not American (probably do not have the papers to work there) and give no fucks about anything.
It is a dirty industry where people trample over each other to make money.
My last year working was for an agency where everyone was fair and smart, so that was way better.
What was the pay like? For example, did you get good money if you were the lone photographer (because I can't spell Papa whatever)? The pay always depended. I know now a days is way worse and paps fight more for lame pictures.
It could be anywhere between 5 cents and $5,000 or even more.
I averaged around 5k a month. I had horrible months where I made less than 1k. My best month was 12k.
Pay was tricky. The picture gets sold, the magazines don't pay you until months later. Blogs pay a misery. The agency you sold the pictures fuck with the numbers and pay you less. So the numbers were always all over the place. Sales reports included title of picture sold, what it sold for and my commission. Sometimes the report was 5 pages long of tiny tiny amounts that added up to 2,000.
So... it always depends. There is money in the job, its just not easy money (and I hear that now a days is way worse).
(and I hear that now a days is way worse). More paps, less privacy.
Any idea why? What changed? Technology changed the game. Now a celebrity can be somewhere and an idiot with an iPhone will take their picture an upload it to Twitter. That's a free picture for magazines to grab while that paps are trying their hardest to get a good picture.
What's Audrina like? I'd like to hear what you have to say about her. She's always been my celeb cursh. Well.. this is going to be a very bias answer since she is also my celebrity crush.
Yes, I have folders and folders with tons of pictures of Audrina. I used to hang out by her house and follow her all the time... She was always super nice, her sister and brother were chill too. Her dad tried to sell me their monster truck (as if I made that much money as a pap). Basically, picture that high school crush that you had nothing in common with but still believe you were going to marry her (or at least that's how it was for me).
What are some of the crazy things that happens to a paparazzo? Anyone do something that caught you completely off guard? Uhh.. Javier Bardem spat in my eye.
A lot of crazy things happened almost daily...
Which celebrities smoke cigarettes? Any idea of a percentage? Also any celebrities that seem tame but actually party hard? I caught a few smoking and some asked me to delete the frames because they don't want that image.
It wasn't that often. Complete guess of a percentage, 30%. And from that 30% only 5% are closeted smokers.
Uhh.. The Jonas Brothers? probably not the answer you were looking for.
I'd be interested to hear more about the jonas brothers? is it just joe jonas that parties hard? or the other ones too (no one remembers their names...)? Uhh Nick and... uhh ... uhhh...
I'm not sure. I know Ashley Greene is awesome and loves to party. Joe dated her and other girls that would love to party. Last time I was in Hollywood I bumped into Joe. I'm sure he parties. Not much to say about them, they were nice kids.
Obviously some celebrities act like they hate the paps, but have there been any in your experience that stood out as exceptionally nice and kind to the people that take pictures? Besides all the celebrity whores (Kardashians, the Hills, Jersey Shore, Kate and Jon Gosling, etc.) yes.
Al Pacino has to be one of the nicest ones that you would never expect. Hugh Jackman is super nice that every time I saw him I just wanted to brohug the dude. Like I said before, those who you expect them to be super mean turn out to be nice. Some that you expect to be super chill are complete dicks.
Tl;dr Al Pacino and Hugh Jackman.
I wish people would stop taking pictures and celebritizing the kardashians. They are seriously the least interesting people ever. They are famous for no reason. I don't even think they're attractive. Kim is oddly hot.
Seriously, in person she doesn't seem interesting or hot. I would take pictures of her and be like "bleh," then look at my camera and she would look perfect. Oddly photogenic in like the worst lightning and worst moments.
But yeah. I have no idea why they are famous besides Kim having an ass that I could sleep on as if it was a waterbed (and yes, it is that huge in person).
Did any celebrities call you to take their picture? I heard Hilary Duff does this. Not me personally. A lot of them do call other paps.
Can you say who was calling paps? Many have at some point in their career...
All the Twilighters. The Kardashians. Lindsay Lohan. Almost everyone from The Hills.
If its not them directly is via a publicist.
Celebrities need paps as much as paps need celebrities (or even more... )
Do you consider paparazzi work "photography"? Why or why not? I consider it one of the toughest photographies next to National Geographic stuff. Animals are tough creatures to get perfect pictures of, so are celebrities. Think about it, we get pictures of people that don't want their picture taken, similar to polar bears that are looking for a meal and much rather eat the photographer.
Sport photography is an a controlled ambient. You know the light, you know the sport, you know what is going to happen, you just better be a good shooter. Model photography is very controlled. Pretty much every ambient is nice and controlled except photojournalism (or paparazzi, which is its lowest form) and nature type awesomeness (which someday I hope to do).
How do you know where people are going to be? Is it mostly PR tip offs and obvious things, like being at the airport, or is there more to it? Its that obvious. When you are in LA and the business, you can't escape it. I would see celebrities when I DIDNT WANT TOO.
Being at LAX to just be at LAX can get you some luck, but its dumb and pointless. Limo drivers and their agencies are more than willing to sell some information. Same with airline people.
Many paps have the city "wired". Valet parking people, managers of restaurants, or virtually any one that wants to make a quick buck can make a call and sell out a celebrity for $50 or so. I had tons of people that also called me for free.
When the twilight craze was going full speed I befriended some Twilight crazy fans that send me information constantly. These girls knew everything and messaged me for free the information.
So I always wondered how exactly do you know which flight someone is on does Delta call you and say hey Kanye's on our flight or what? Basically...
Either someone that works for Delta. The driver who is supposed to pick up Kanye or Kanye's PR gives you the flight #. Sometimes is the obvious celebrity gets on a flight from LHR and people get pictures. There's only a few flights from LHR to LAX, you figured out which one they are on.
One time I saw Ann Coulter randomly and took her picture. She asked me how I knew and guessed "someone in JFK told you!" I was like... "sure Ann, because you are that important"
Taking pictures of Ann Coulter is a waste of ink and paper. Should have beat her with the camera instead. I snapped four (digital camera) The flash didn't go on for 2 of them. Sent the one semi decent pic to my agency just in case.
Here's that she-devil
Have you ever played the game pokemon snap? YES! and it is my main inspiration.
Which celebrities had the best or worst temper when they got their photos taken? None and all at the same time.
Whoever you think will be mean, is actually super nice. Whoever you think will be super nice is the opposite.
When a celebrity has a movie coming out, they are super nice. When they have negative press they become assholes.
Last updated: 2013-11-30 11:02 UTC
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2012.05.18 20:20 tabledresser [Table] IAMA Agoraphobic and I have not left the house since I was 11yrs old. I am now 21. AMA

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Date: 2012-05-18
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Questions Answers
My old man would probably be very disappointed if I was scared of outside, especially if it was triggered by such a minor event. How did you dad feel about knowing you'll never have much to contribute in anything but your work and do you think he'd be disappointed watching you get old in doors? My father was extremely proud of my accomplishments and to even suggest I am a disappointment to him especially since he is dead is quite rude. I feel sorry for you that you are unlucky enough to have a father who might be disappointed in you for suffering from a mental illness.
What exactly have you contributed to the world?
Says the guy afraid of grass. You've been a real dick in this AMA. What, you and no one else haven't?
What caused your fear of the outside world? Was there a moment when you knew you never wanted to leave again? Is it a risk association with the outside world? Or is it the outside world in general? Also, the mods are going to request proof, so I'll be that guy and say it. PROOF. What caused your fear of the outside world?
I believe it stems from being attacked at eleven years of age with an iron bar by some kid with ADHD. I have since developed other fears along with having a panic attack in public and embarrasing myself.
Was there a moment when you knew you never wanted to leave again?
Yes, I started to have panic attacks, and from that experience along with developing other fears I decided I would rather not leave the house.
Is it a risk association with the outside world? Or is it the outside world in general?
Just the outside world in general. I have a long list of fears which I can avoid by not going outside. Also, the mods are going to request proof, so I'll be that guy and say it. PROOF.
I am not sure how I can prove I have agoraphobia? It's psychological so nothing physical I can show you besides medication to treat it?
I'd imagine medication and diagnosis paperwork should suffice. But you have to talk to the mods. I can provide medication etc but diagnosis paperwork does that even exist in the 21st century?
How's that medication working? I have not had a panic attack in a pretty long time so good?
Oh I thought you said you only get panic attacks when you go outside? Do you get them at other times when you are not outside? Yes, I can get them suddenly with no warnings at all.
What is daily life like, what exactly do you do for entertainment/productivity? What is daily life like, what exactly do you do for entertainment/productivity?
How long do you imagine you can continue going without ever leaving? How long do you imagine you can continue going without ever leaving?
What sort of public relations work? I have a disease that makes it terribly hard to leave my house and have been looking for at least something to make pocket money with via online work. I specialise in Crisis communication and reputation management.
Have you recorded any of your violin music? Not leaving the house for ten years must give you plenty of time to practice. I bet you're pretty damn good by now. I have never recorded any of my violin music. I would say am pretty good.
But you go to the office? that's leaving the house no? I call the place I work from at home the office.
Get yourself a microphone or a video camera, get Internet famous, and collect dat theoretical currency. EDIT: I am also curious, not just a jackass. =D I will record some audio later today and share it.
I can't get it because I don't have internet. Would you be so kind as to bring it to my house? Please? :/ DAHM YOU! I will post it.
1) So is it so severe that you can't set one toe out of your house, or is it about being on your property and you can go on your lawn and all that? So is it so severe that you can't set one toe out of your house, or is it about being on your property and you can go on your lawn and all that?
What happens when you order a pizza and the delivery guy comes? What happens when you order a pizza and the delivery guy comes?
Have you ever fell outside? Have you ever fell outside?
Do you have a back garden that no one can see that you could sit in? Do you have a back garden that no one can see that you could sit in?
Have you ever played any sports or been to like a concert? You say you dislike war but here you are playing violent games were you kill things like Skyrim and something tells me you have played some FPS? If you literally couldn't leave your house would you want to? I mean if you were like trapped. Have you ever played any sports or been to like a concert? I played sports before I was 11, No I have not been to a concert. You say you dislike war but here you are playing violent games were you kill things like Skyrim and something tells me you have played some FPS?
Have you ever Snowboarded? Have you ever snowboarded?
Ever felt rain touch your skin? Ever felt rain touch you skin?
If you literally couldn't leave your house would you want to?
Some jails will do this for you. And feed you. These things you could "jails" sound of interest to me. I shall check these out :P.
What are your plans in life? What are your plans in life?
Do you care that you might not be able to support yourself as you get older? Do you care that you might not be able to support yourself as you get older?
Do you already have a home job? Do you already have a home job?
Do you like your hot sauce mild, hot, or flaming hot? Do you like your hot sauce mild, hot, or flaming hot? I have never tried hot sauce. What do you reccomend?
No, you really haven't supported yourself. Your parents were the one's who is keeping the house over your head, the electricity running and all the other bill's paid. No, you really haven't supported yourself. Your parents were the one's who is keeping the house over your head, the electricity running and all the other bill's paid. Excuse me... I said since I was 18 + No my mother does not pay my bills or keep a house over my head. It's my house. If you plan to start your own firm, you're going to have to fill the paperwork which means going out of your house and eventually meeting other people. Nobody is going to spoon feed you your entire life. :/ I just have to register with Companies House, and HM & Revenue... all of which is done online. I already have successfully registered as self-employed. I have not been spoon feed my entire life. Stop giving up and I sincerely hope you don't rely on other people to do stuff for you. I highly suggest getting the help you deserve and actively do things that are out of your comfor zone because you're being selfish to the people that are going to be stuck taking care of you AND most of all you're being selfish to yourself. FU! No one takes care of me, and I have asked nothing of anyone. I 100% fully financially support myself + No one is taking care of me I see a psychologist once a month who I pay for... its her job. Did I mention I own my own house? I do not live with my mother.
If you plan to start your own firm, you're going to have to fill the paperwork which means going out of your house and eventually meeting other people. Nobody is going to spoon feed you your entire life.
How do you own your own house if you haven't been outside since you were 11? I lived with my parents till I was 18, and than got a job in Public Relations doing crisis communication and reputation management and was approved for a mortgage.
Did you buy a house without ever seeing it then? I imagine moving house would be pretty traumatic for an agoraphobe? I literally moved down the road from my mother, I was able to see pictures and got the courage to view the house etc.
How do you plan to make money? How do you plan to make money?
Do you have friends? Do you have friends?
Do you experience similar reactions from friends, family, or anyone you may tell about this, as I've seen a bit so far from some comments here, about how you need to basically suck it up and get over it? I'm amazed how some comments are just stupid attacks on you. I'm sure you were prepared but, I'm sorry, for the internet. Do you ever hear a comment like "just get out there, you don't know what you're missing" that makes you think about pushing the limit, some amazing phrase? Or does this just push you deeper into 'the cave', sometimes/always/never? Do you experience similar reactions from friends, family, or anyone you may tell about this, as I've seen a bit so far from some comments here, about how you need to basically suck it up and get over it?
Not really. I'll get the odd comment but besides that not really. I do not expect someone to understand why I am the way I am.
What are these small goals? Small goals for me would be things like walking into the back garden or walking to the local shop.
Do you have IRL friends that you interact with? Do you have IRL friends that you interact with?
Do you have a job/what is it? If not, what do you plan on doing for money? Do you have a job/what is it? If not, what do you plan on doing for money?
Do they just sit in your house? We'll plan things to do in advance, so were not just sitting around.
Do you have a desire to eventually be comfortable with going outside? Do you think about your phobia frequently throughout the day, or is it something you can ignore? Does your partner experience a similar fear? Thanks for sharing. Do you have a desire to eventually be comfortable with going outside?
Yes, of course I do. I am aiming to be able to visit my fathers grave and once I reach that step I feel I can tackle others.
Does your partner experience a similar fear?
No. He is 100% supportive though.
How do you get groceries? This wonderful invention called online grocery shopping.
You have no idea what the outside world is like. You've only been "outside" once in how many years? I was outside my entire life up until I was eleven years of age, and once when I was nineteen to go to my fathers funeral.
Do you still open windows and look outside? Is it just being outside that bothers you or looking outside as well? Yes, I open windows etc and look outside. It's the act of being outside and the fear of having a panic attack.
How was it when you were outside? even if it was for a funeral? I was too busy mourning the loss of my father to notice.
So despite you having a phobia that restricts your life in such a HUGE degree, it was pretty much eliminated because you were mourning? You didnt NOTICE the outside? Obviously I noticed was outside. Just a question have you ever lost a parent? If not than perhaps you will not understand the sheer grief and emotion that rushes through your body. I wanted to be able to attend my fathers funeral, and if that meant going outside and popping more pills than linsay lohan than so be it.
Im not saying this AMA is a fake, but maybe youre making your condition more severe than what it really is.... I am not exaggerating the condition if that's what your getting at but I do not expect someone to understand or accept who I am. I just thought it would be entertaining to answer questions all day.
How would you know wether youre exaggerating or not? You may read all about people on the internet, but you dont really ever meet any. How can you relate to other people by saying that, and that you dont expect anyone to understand? How would you know wether youre exaggerating or not?
Sorry but it sounds fishy. You would not know I guess you have to be able to experience it and put yourself in my shoes. You can never know for sure if anyone is exaggerating anything if were all perfectly honest. I do not expect people to understand because some people cant fathom the idea of never going outside as some people cant fathom gay marriage etc to some people they can't get their head around it and for others they can begin to understand.
What was it like attending you father's funeral? How long were you out of the house? The funeral lasted a couple of hours, and I was too busy mourning to notice.
Do you know what you are missing out on (from our perspective of missing out on) by not leaving your house? random example: going to a ball. Do you know what you are missing out on (from our perspective of missing out on) by not leaving your house? Yes I am fully aware I am missing out a lot in life, but the fact remains I just do not care. I am happy and thats all that matters. For those that you do know you are unable to do, are there any that you would like to be able to do? I would like to visit my fathers grave, and that tortures me inside.
For those that you do know you are unable to do, are there any that you would like to be able to do?
WITH THAT SAID, how did you manage to get a job in public relations? Did you have to interview for it and what was the process like? How did you manage to get a job in public relations?
Are there any natural wonders or scenery that you would like to one day travel to see? Which is to say, do you actually think anything in the world would be worth travelling to view, even if you weren't afraid to go out? Are there any natural wonders or scenery that you would like to one day travel to see? Which is to say, do you actually think anything in the world would be worth travelling to view, even if you weren't afraid to go out?
Do you have any pets to keep you company or friends that visit often? Do you have any pets to keep you company or friends that visit often? Yes, I have a pet cat, and I also have a partner, but yes I have friends that visit often.
Ah thought you might take this the wrong way: not criticizing you but just curious. I can see plenty of great ideas of never leaving the house (though personally, I would more like, MOSTLY not leaving :)). Just your fathers grave? otherwise totally satisfied it seems? "I just do not care" Yeh =D I owe it to my father to visit his grave.
How did you meet your friends and partner? I met friends through home-schooling and I met my partner through mutual friends.
Ever consider exposure therapy? It might work wonders :-) It has been mentioned to me. My psychologist mentioned it once when I stated I wanted to visit my fathers grave.
How much do you weigh? 156lbs.
How did you start in freelance PR? Do you have regular clients? What work is involved in PR? How did you start in freelance PR? Do you have regular clients? What work is involved in PR?
You said it's not legal for you to marry your partner, so I can safely assume that you are gay. Will you leave the house to vote in the upcoming elections? Will you leave the house to vote in the upcoming elections?
Do you ever plan on having a girlfriend & eventually getting married? I am living with my partner and its not legal for us to get married where were from.
So once it is legal are you willing to leave the house to marry your partner? I would consider it, and would need to prepare myself.
Do you/ have you ever had a girlfriend or even experienced any sexual contact? I experience regular sexual contact with my partner of four years.
How'd you meet? I met him through a mutual friend who came to visit.
What exactly about the outside world scares you? What do you do at home all day? Do you never get lonely? I watched a documentary on this a while ago. The woman in it wanted to be able to go out, meet her family etc. Do you feel the same way, or do you simply want to stay inside your home for the rest of your life? I have answered all these questions in previous questions.
I'm a journalism student that would love to get into freelance PR. Where should I start? I would personally contact a lot of smaller firms that specialise in niche markets and just ask for internships though don't expect to get paid.
Agoraphobic isn't about fear of people ? I mean, can't you go outside at night when nobody is outside ? It's different for each individual their are a number of factors/fears that cause agoraphobia.
What happens if you need to go to a Doctor? The doctor comes to me.
You have never needed surgery or anything that cannot be done at home? Nope. You would be surprised what services you can pay for and receive treatment at home for if you pay for it.
How you find that relationships work when you are in a situation like this? Do girlfriends just end up spending a lot of time hanging out at your house? If so, how do you even find them in the first place? How you find that relationships work when you are in a situation like this?
I guess it would be different for each and every relationship, I am currently in a relationship with another male and I have given him the option of being able to sleep with other men or date other men if he so chooses I have nothing against but as of yet he has chosen to stay in a monogamous relationship.
Do boyfriends (girlfriends) just end up spending a lot of time hanging out at your house?
I give my partner a lot of freedom and do not expect him to be with me 24/7 as I stated I will allow him to sleep/date other men if he chooses to but he has decided to stay committed to me. He actually lives with me so he is at my house every day, but he has his own social life that I do not want to get in the way of.
If so, how do you even find them in the first place?
I met him through a mutual friend.
My apologies for the lack of gender-neutrality in my questions. I guess I was a little too presumptuous and didn't read your initial post close enough. Thanks for the response! Thats absolutely fine.
There's a lot of badmouthing and intolerance going around in this thread. It seems to be stemming from people thinking that you aren't actually taking any steps to overcome your Agoraphobia even though you say that you are. I think Reddit views this akin to someone with depression posting an AMA about how 'life is horrible and I don't want to enjoy it' To show those that are criticising you are trying to overcome your mental illness, what steps have you taken over the past 10 years to beat this? What milestones have you already reached? What milestones have you set for the future? To show those that are criticising you are trying to overcome your mental illness, what steps have you taken over the past 10 years to beat this?
What milestones have you already reached? What milestones have you set for the future?
Is there a family history of it? You mentioned you had a great relationship with your father. Out of curiousity, what was his profession? Hobbies? He worked for Aegis - which is a private security firm which operates in Iraq and Baghdad. He also worked for the United States Government for the army as a contractor. (Yes, I have proof of both of these in the form of ID badges) He also had a strong interest in hiking, and walked the apalachian trail twice in the states which is two thousand miles and takes approximately six months to complete. No there is no family history of agoraphobia in my family.
Wow, wasn't expecting that. What about Mom? She works for the National Society of Prevention of Cruelty to Children. She is currently studying for her PhD, and works with a lot of paedophiles and sex offenders who wish to lead a "normal" life. She also deals with children who were victims of sexual abuse, physical abuse and mental abuse.
I find it hard to believe you have no documentation from the past 3 years in your possession. Sorry but this subreddit does require adequate proof otherwise why should anyone believe your story? Thems just the rules. I have provided the proof that I have, lf that is not adequate enough for your royal highness I apologise.
I'm not sure if you had already answered this, but how do you get groceries? Do you just order take out, or do you have someone get it for you? Same with other things like electronics. Stuff like that. Food: I live with my partner so he does most of our food shopping, but I also do some shopping online through services like ocado.
Electronics: I use Amazon etc, I am able to answer the door etc to receive parcels.
Have you tried drugs? weed, mushrooms, acid? Get your hands of them and see if it can help you with your agoraphobia. You gotta get some sun in your life, man. Have you tried drugs?
No/Yes. I have not tried illegal drugs, but I have been on a lot of prescription drugs which you can get high on :P
Who supplies you with food, and all your other necessities? If you did not leave the house, how do you get them? I live with my partner so often more than not he does the shopping otherwise I can use online shopping services like ocado.
How do you purchase your games. Digital copy, Online or do you get a friend/family member to pick one up from the store. Also, how do you make a living and support yourself? How do you purchase your games. Digital copy, Online or do you get a friend/family member to pick one up from the store.
I purchase online through Amazon.
How do you make a living and support yourself?
I work freelance doing Public Relations.
What is freelance PR? What kind of company uses a freelancer? How did you get started? Freelance - Adjective: Working for different companies at different times rather than being permanently employed by one company.
Public Relations - Noun: The professional maintenance of a favorable public image by an organization or a famous person.
What kind of company uses a freelancer?
I specialise in crisis communication and reputation management so the companies I deal with are those who are facing a crisis and need to save their already tarnished reputation as a lot of companies these days can not afford their own 24/7 public relations department.
Whatre some of your favorite books, games and songs to play? I can play anything really on the violin but I prefer to play classical music.
I like reading about physics, and psychology books.
I am currently playing Diablo 3 + Skyrim.
How is D3? AWESOME!
Do you work in your house, or do you go somewhere? Do you work in your house, or do you go somewhere?
When you went to your fathers' funeral, how long had you been staying inside and what did you feel? When you went to your fathers' funeral, how long had you been staying inside and what did you feel?
For the second question I mean what was it like to have been inside for so long, and to just go outside. I understand the emotions of losing your father. But, going outside for the first time in 8 years has to be scary. I am not going to make out it was an easy experience. I was absolutely terrified and was on more pills than Lindsay Lohan out on a friday night. I guess I am so use to being inside for such a length of time it feels normal to me and I still live a happy life.
Were your parents enablers for this disorder? No. My mother did all she could do to get me to go outside and in the end she paid for me to get professional help as nothing was working. (I personally now pay for all my treatment)
Would you feel safe enough to leave the house in an armored car? It's not about feeling safe for me, it goes a lot deeper than that.
How did you get away with not going outside from that young? Didn't your parents make you? What about school? I have always been home schooled long before I developed agoraphobia. My mothefather at the time were very concerned and had be accessed, and that's when I was diagnosed.
Did they try and make you go outside? Or was it just to strenuous for you all? My father made a few attempts, and thats what caused my first panic attack, and the moment they both realised this was serious.
You said that you haven't been outside since age 11. What was the thing that made you, for lack of a better word, "declare" agoraphobia? I never self-declared it. My mum became concerned I would not leave so in the end a psychologist was called in who diagnosed me with agoraphobia.
HI... Do you have people over? Friends, family? Yes, I have friends who visit me on a weekly basis, and I live just down the road from my mother. My sister lives in Japan, and my brother lives about seven hours away.
Do you enjoy Call of Duty? if so what is your favorite game in the franchise? I've never gotten into the call of duty serious not really a fan of activision games.
Can your anxiety be triggered by Movies/TV/Books/Games which describe or show wide open spaces? No. If It did I would be fucked.
So you take prozac... How does that PROVE you are an AGORAPHOBIC? Fluoxetine or has its most commonly known prozac is used to treat anxiety dissorders along with many other mental disorders. It's the only proof I have unfortunately.
I am well aware of Prozac and it's use. I took Prozac for years.. I am not agoraphobic. That is why i asked. Still respect your post. Message me if you ever need anything Yeh, I was just trying to state that it has a number of uses because a lot of people only know its use in depression.
Hey StuckInside, I've removed your submission from IAmA. Stories about phobias are very common, and should be posted in /MiniBio or /Self. :/ Agoraphobia despite the name is an mental health anxiety disorder... its not a phobia.
Your teeth must be horrifying. :/ I take extremely good care of my teeth, and have no cavities. I am able to receive dental care from home.
You need help. Get it. The world outside is a beautiful place. Its worth the work. The world outside is a dreadful place. Appearances can be deceptive.
Says the guy who doesn't go there. I only have to watch the news and read Reddit to understand the things that go on in the outside world in terms of war, poverty and starvation etc.
The news pretty much ONLY reports on negative, horrible things. If this is your exposure to the outside world, then I suppose I could understand why you wouldn't want to leave your house. It's not realistic at all, though. This is not the reason why I do not want to leave the house, I do not think I made that clear at all.
Spoiler alert: the walls in your house do nothing to protect you from those things. The walls in my house protect me from the things I feel I need protecting from. I am not agoraphobic because of war, poverty and starvation.
Fake. Phobia is about fear, not logic. Your logical explanation of your fear shows this AMA is fake. Agoraphobia is a psychological anxiety disorder not a phobia.
Last updated: 2012-05-22 12:16 UTC Next update: 2012-05-22 18:16 UTC
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