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The 50(ish) best TV matches ever

2020.09.23 14:28 kw13 The 50(ish) best TV matches ever

Date Company Constellation Stipulation Rating Show Network
16.06.1984 WWE Sgt. Slaughter vs. The Iron Sheik Boot camp 4.5 WWF on MSG Network MSG Network
14.02.1986 NWA Barry Windham vs. Ric Flair NWA World Heavyweight Title 5 NWA Battle Of The Belts II Syndication
20.01.1987 NWA Barry Windham vs. Ric Flair NWA World Heavyweight Title 5 MACW TBS?
27.03.1988 Mid-Atlantic Championship Wrestling Ric Flair vs. Sting NWA World Heavyweight Title 4.75 NWA Clash Of The Champions #1 TBS
25.06.1988 WWE Randy Savage vs. Ted DiBiase WWF World Heavyweight Title - Steel Cage 4.5 WWF on MSG Network MSG Network
02.04.1989 WCW Ric Flair vs. Ricky Steamboat NWA World Heavyweight Title - Best two out of three falls 5 NWA Clash Of The Champions #6 - "Ragin' Cajun" TBS
15.11.1989 WCW Ric Flair vs. Terry Funk I Quit 5 NWA Clash Of The Champions #9 - "New York Knock Out" TBS
17.02.1990 WCW Flyin' Brian vs. Ric Flair . 4.5 NWA World Championship Wrestling TV? TBS?
18.02.1990 WCW Arn Anderson & Ric Flair vs. Ricky Morton & Robert Gibson . 4.5 NWA Main Event? TBS?
19.07.1993 WWE Marty Jannetty vs. Shawn Michaels WWF Intercontinental Title 4.75 WWF Monday Night RAW #26 USA Network
11.07.1994 WWE Bret Hart vs. The 1-2-3 Kid WWF World Heavyweight Title 4.5 WWF Monday Night RAW #70 USA Network
30.10.1994 WWE Diesel & Shawn Michaels vs. Razor Ramon & The 1-2-3 Kid WWF World Tag Team Title 4.5 WWF Action Zone #2 USA Network
07.10.1995 ECW Psicosis vs. Rey Misterio Jr. Best Two Out Of Three Falls 4.75 ECW Hardcore TV #130 Syndication
21.01.1997 WCW Dean Malenko vs. Ultimo Dragon WCW World Cruiserweight Title 4.5 WCW Clash Of The Champions #34 TBS
03.03.1997 WWE Owen Hart vs. The British Bulldog WWF European Title Tournament Final Match 4.5 WWF Monday Night RAW #199 USA Network
04.10.1999 WCW Bret Hart vs. Chris Benoit Owen Hart Tribute Match 4.25 WCW Monday NITRO #211 TNT
21.05.2001 WWE Chris Benoit & Chris Jericho vs. Steve Austin & Triple H WWF World Tag Team Title 4.75 WWF RAW is WAR #417 TNN
24.05.2001 WWE Bubba Ray Dudley & D-Von Dudley vs. Chris Benoit & Chris Jericho vs. Christian & Edge vs. Jeff Hardy & Matt Hardy WWF World Tag Team Title - Tables, Ladders & Chairs 4.75 WWF SmackDown #93 UPN
31.05.2001 WWE Chris Benoit vs. Steve Austin WWF World Heavyweight Title - Special Enforcer: Vince McMahon 4.5 WWF SmackDown #94 UPN
26.09.2002 WWE Eddie Guerrero vs. Edge No Disqualification 4.5 WWE SmackDown #163 UPN
05.12.2002 WWE Chris Benoit vs. Eddie Guerrero vs. Edge vs. Kurt Angle WWE Heavyweight Title #1 Contendership - Fatal Four Way Elimination 4.5 WWE SmackDown #173 UPN
18.09.2003 WWE Brock Lesnar vs. Kurt Angle WWE Heavyweight Title - 60 Minute Iron Man 4.25 WWE SmackDown #214 UPN
03.05.2004 WWE Chris Benoit vs. Shawn Michaels World Heavyweight Title 4.25 WWE RAW #571 Spike TV
02.05.2005 WWE Shawn Michaels vs. Shelton Benjamin Gold Rush Tournament Quarter Final 4.5 WWE RAW #623 Spike TV
23.04.2007 WWE John Cena vs. Shawn Michaels . 4.25 WWE Monday Night RAW #726 USA Network
01.09.2009 WWE John Morrison vs. Rey Mysterio WWE Intercontinental Title 4.25 WWE Friday Night SmackDown #524 MyNetworkTV
11.09.2009 ROH Davey Richards & Eddie Edwards vs. Matt Jackson & Nick Jackson ROH World Tag Team Title 4.5 ROH on HDNet #35 HDNet
09.08.2010 Impact Wrestling Alex Shelley & Chris Sabin vs. James Storm & Robert Roode TNA World Tag Team Title - Best Of Five Series Match #5 - Best Two Out Of Three Falls 4.5 TNA iMPACT #319 - The Whole F'N Show Spike TV
25.02.2013 WWE CM Punk vs. John Cena WWE Heavyweight Title #1 Contendership 4.5 WWE Monday Night RAW #1031 USA Network
03.03.2014 WWE Bray Wyatt, Erick Rowan & Luke Harper vs. Dean Ambrose, Roman Reigns & Seth Rollins . 4.5 WWE Monday Night RAW #1084 USA Network
16.09.2014 Impact Wrestling Bully Ray & Devon vs. Davey Richards & Eddie Edwards vs. Jeff Hardy & Matt Hardy TNA World Tag Team Title - Three Way - Full Metal Mayhem 4.5 IMPACT Wrestling #535 Spike TV
25.01.2015 Lucha Underground Fenix vs. Mil Muertes Grave Consequences Casket 4.5 Lucha Underground #1.19 - Grave Consequences El Rey
06.07.2015 WWE Cesaro vs. John Cena WWE United States Title 4.25 WWE Monday Night RAW #1154 USA Network
12.12.2015 Lucha Underground Aero Star vs. Argenis vs. Cage vs. Chavo Guerrero Jr. vs. Drago vs. Dragon Azteca Jr. vs. Fenix vs. Jack Evans vs. Joey Ryan vs. Johnny Mundo vs. King Cuerno vs. Marty Martinez vs. Mascarita Sagrada vs. Mil Muertes vs. PJ Black vs. Prince Puma vs. Rey Mysterio Jr. vs. Taya vs. Texano vs. The Mack vs. The Monster Matanza Cueto Lucha Underground Title - 21 Man Aztec Warfare 4.25 Lucha Underground #2.09 - Aztec Warfare II El Rey
10.01.2016 Lucha Underground Cortez Castro, Joey Ryan & Mr. Cisco vs. Dragon Azteca Jr., Prince Puma & Rey Mysterio Jr. vs. Fenix , Jack Evans & PJ Black vs. Ivelisse & Son Of Havoc Lucha Underground Trios Title - Trios Tournament Final - Four Way Elimination 4.5 Lucha Underground #2.14 - Cage In A Cage El Rey
31.01.2016 Lucha Underground Prince Puma vs. Rey Mysterio Jr. . 4.5 Lucha Underground #2.26 - Ultima Lucha Dos Part 3 El Rey
23.10.2019 AEW Isiah Kassidy & Marq Quen vs. Pentagon Jr. & Rey Fenix AEW World Tag Team Title Tournament - Semi Final 4.5 AEW Dynamite #4 TNT
20.11.2019 AEW Nick Jackson vs. Rey Fenix . 4.75 AEW Dynamite #8 TNT
11.12.2019 AEW Matt Jackson & Nick Jackson vs. Ortiz & Santana AEW World Tag Team Title #1 Contendership - Falls Count Anywhere Texas Street Fight 4.5 AEW Dynamite #11 TNT
01.01.2020 All Elite Wrestling Kenny Omega, Matt Jackson & Nick Jackson vs. PAC, Pentagon Jr. & Rey Fenix . 4.5 AEW Dynamite #13 - Homecoming Edition TNT
15.01.2020 WWE Flash Morgan Webster & Mark Andrews vs. Matt Riddle & Pete Dunne Dusty Rhodes Tag Team Classic 2020 - First Round 4.5 WWE NXT #387 USA Network
15.01.2020 AEW Adam Page & Kenny Omega vs. Chuck Taylor & Trent vs. Matt Jackson & Nick Jackson vs. Ortiz & Santana AEW World Tag Team Title #1 Contendership - Four Way 4.5 AEW Dynamite #15 - Bash At The Beach TNT
05.02.2020 AEW Adam Page, Kenny Omega, Matt Jackson & Nick Jackson vs. Pentagon Jr., Rey Fenix , The Blade & The Butcher . 4.5 AEW Dynamite #18 TNT
19.02.2020 AEW Adam Page & Kenny Omega vs. Pentagon Jr. & Rey Fenix AEW World Tag Team Title 4.75 AEW Dynamite #20 TNT
26.02.2020 AEW Kenny Omega vs. PAC 30 Minute Iron Man 4.75 AEW Dynamite #21 TNT
08.06.2020 WWE AJ Styles vs. Daniel Bryan WWE Intercontinental Title Tournament - Final Match 4.75 WWE Friday Night SmackDown #1086 FOX
02.07.2020 AEW Cash Wheeler, Dax Harwood, Matt Jackson & Nick Jackson vs. Pentagon Jr., Rey Fenix , The Blade & The Butcher . 4.75 AEW Dynamite #40 - Fyter Fest 2020 - Night 2 TNT
22.07.2020 AEW Matt Jackson & Nick Jackson vs. The Blade & The Butcher Falls Count Anywhere 4.5 AEW Dynamite #42 TNT
30.07.2020 AEW Adam Page, Cash Wheeler, Dax Harwood, Kenny Omega, Matt Jackson & Nick Jackson vs. Colt Cabana, Evil Uno, Five, Mr. Brodie Lee, Nine & Stu Grayson 12 man 4.5 AEW Dynamite #44 TNT
10.09.2020 AEW Chuck Taylor & Trent vs. Ortiz & Santana Parking lot fight 5 AEW Dynamite #50 TNT
With the parking lot fight from Dynamite receiving 5 stars I thought it would be interesting to put together a list of the 50 best TV matches of all time.
What's included? Any match originally filmed for US cable TV which received a 5, 4.75 or 4.5 star rating from Meltzer. 7 4.25 star matches are included, they are the 7 matches with the highest user rating on cagematch.net. I've also included two matches which don't have a show attached on cagematch, after cross referencing with other sources I believe I've put them on the right show, but they have a "?" next to them in the table.
What's not included? Any NJPW match, I believe some NJPW air in the US (I'm not American, so could be wrong), but they weren't originally filmed for a US audience. The same goes for AAA, I believe they have filmed in LA, but mostly for a Mexican audience. Any match originally filmed for the WWE Network isn't included, there would be some pre-USA Network NXT, and one 205 Live match on the list, but then I feel like I would have to include any match distributed on DVD or internet which is a lot of ROH or PWG. Matches which were originally filmed for PPV but later aired elsewhere aren't included, for example Bret Hart vs The British Bulldog from WWF SummerSlam 1992 later aired on NXT UK in June 2020, that wouldn't be included if NXT UK had a US TV deal.
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2020.09.23 13:00 cincbus Introducing: The Danish Royal Family

Royal Family Instagram https://www.instagram.com/detdanskekongehus/?hl=en
Queen Margrethe II (b. 1940)
Margrethe is the Queen of Denmark, the supreme authority of the Church of Denmark, and the Commander-in-Chief of the Danish Defense. She takes no part in party politics and does not express any political opinions. She has the right to vote however chooses not to exercise that privilege.
She became heir presumptive to her father in 1953 when a constitutional amendment allowed women to inherit the throne. When it became clear that Queen Ingrid would have no more children (they had 3 girls), her father capitalized on his popularity to begin the constitutional change in 1947. She became Queen when her father, King Frederick IX, died in 1972. She is the first female monarch of Denmark since Margrethe I (1375-1412).
Interesting Facts:
Lord of the Rings Illustrations
Making animal costumes
An interesting article
Her famous raincoat
Check out the latest official portrait of Margrethe, released 9/21/20, to mark her 80th birthday.
Marriage:
Henrik, Prince Consort (1934-2018)
Born Henri Marie Jean André de Laborde de Monpezat
He met Princess Margrethe, who was studying at the London School of Economics, while working at the French Embassy. They dated for a year before Henrik proposed.
Interesting Facts:
Henrik became the first male consort in Danish history. This meant there were no clear descriptions of his duties and he struggled with this throughout his life. He felt frustration with his lesser title and lack of recognition, and was public with his frustrations that his title put him on the same level as his sons and grandsons.
In 2002, he left Denmark for France after his son, the Crown Prince, was made the host of a reception in the absence of Queen Margrethe. "For many years I have been Denmark's number two," he said. "I've been satisfied with that role, but I don't want to be relegated to number three after so many years." Henrik "fled" Denmark to reflect on his status in the Danish Royal Family. Queen Margrethe flew to France to meet her husband. After three weeks he returned to Denmark.
In 2008, Queen Margrethe conferred the new Danish title “Count of Monpezat” to both of her sons and made it hereditary for their male-line descendants, both male and female, as a nod to her husband.
In 2015, it was announced that Henrik would conclude his official duties on January 1, 2016. In April of 2016, Henrik renounced the title of Prince Consort, and in 2017 publicly announced he refused to be buried next to his wife in Roskilde Cathedral, where Danish royals have been buried since 1559.
"It is no secret that the Prince for many years has been unhappy with his role and the title he has been awarded in the Danish monarchy. This discontent has grown more and more in recent years," the Royal Danish House's director of communications told tabloid BT, in a quote verified and translated by Reuters.
"For the Prince, the decision not to buried beside the Queen is the natural consequence of not having been treated equally to his spouse - by not having the title and role he has desired," the spokesperson told the wire service.
Henrik was diagnosed with dementia in 2017 and died in 2018 after complications from a lung infection.
Though Henrik often struggled with his title as Prince rather than as King, their match was still a love match. In fact, prior to his death, he arranged a tribute to Daisy during his funeral. Read about it here.
Crown Prince Frederik (b. 1968)
Full title: Frederik, Crown Prince of Denmark, Count of Monpezat. Danish Kings alternate between being named Frederik and Christian (you'll see his eldest son is named Christian).
Full Name: Frederik André Henrik Christian
Interesting Facts:
See a video of Fred and Mary on a visit to America
There was a recent documentary of Fred titled "My Way". See a trailer here. I can't seem to find a link to the entire thing so someone help a girl out!
Marriage:
Fred met Australian Mary Elizabeth Donaldson at a Sydney bar (Slip Inn) during the 2000 Sydney Olympics. They started a year-long relationship with Frederik making secret trips to Australia, and in 2001 Mary moved to Denmark. They were married in 2004.
Watch their wedding here. Fred notably cried as his wife walked down the aisle
Deep dive into Mary's dress here
From 2018 – Mary gave one of my all-time favorite (emotional!) speeches as a tribute to her husband on his 50th birthday . Watch here
Crown Princess Mary (b. 1972)
Mary was born the youngest of four children to Scottish parents. She grew up primarily in Tasmania and after graduating from college worked in advertising in Melbourne and Sydney.
Interesting Facts
Mary has been open about her “Princess Training”. She has talked about her struggles in interviews to become fluent in Danish, which has a reputation as one of the hardest to learn due to its eclectic-sounding consonants, hard and guttural sounds and plethora of vowels. She had months of intensive lessons to learn the language.
She enrolled in a $1195 course at Starquest Studios in Double Bay, run by style consultant and actor Teresa Page. The training included instructions on how to relate to other people, how to walk into a room, how to socialize, and how to perform in front of the camera.
She reportedly hired hair and make-up artist Soren Hedegaard to help polish her look in the lead up to her royal wedding, and hired Danish stylist Anja Camilla Alajdi to consult on her fashion choices.
Mary also had to be schooled in Danish society, politics, history and language. Per Thornit was tasked with Mary's royal transition through his role as chief-of-court. He was instrumental in her understanding of Danish political life, taking her to meetings with the Prime Minister, key public servants and other important leaders. Thornit was also helpful in preparing Mary for the finer points of being a princess – including how to accept a bouquet in public and when to discreetly pass it on.
Fred and Mary have 4 children:
Prince Christian (b. 2005)
Princess Isabella (b. 2007)
Prince Vincent (b. 2011) *Twins
Princess Josephine (b. 2011 ) *Twins
Prince Joachim (b. 1969)
Has studied economics, and speaks Danish, French, English, and German. Is currently living in France with his family to attend a military educational program at Ecole Militaire. Earlier in June 2020 the Danish Secretary of Defense appointed the Prince to Brigadier General due to his new acquired educational merits at École Militaire. He was subsequently appointed to Military Attaché at the Royal Danish Embassy in Paris, France for the next three years by the Danish Ministry of Defense. The Prince will commence his new position 1 September 2020.
In July of 2020 was admitted to Toulouse Hospital for a blood clot in his brain. He is currently recovering in France.
In a recent interview Princess Marie, his current wife, was asked about their happiness in France. She indicated that the move “was not their choice”.
Joachim is sometimes known for being a party-prince, and his stay in Paris has raised the eyebrows of some Danes. In the French city, he's said to have no royal responsibilities and is still enjoying a handsome wage – believed to be $834,000 a year – from the Amalienborg Palace’s purse.
First Marriage:
Married Alexandra Manley, a Hong Kong-born sales and marketing executive in 1995. The two met at a dinner party in Hong Kong in 1994 and kept their relationship a secret. They divorced in 2005, however by all accounts have an amicable relationship. Alexandra often attends family events with Joachim and his current wife, Marie, and is included in family pictures if her two children are involved.
Alexandra was gifted a tiara for her wedding and got to keep it after her divorce. It’s one of my favorites.
A popular Copenhagen tabloid had this to say about their divorce: 'It appears Joachim had become ... a party prince with a passion for loud music, strong drink and attractive female company,' Ekstra Bladet reported.
They have two children together:
Read their engagement interview
Their wedding
Second Marriage:
Prince Joachim and Princess Marie met while Joachim was still married to his first wife, Countess Alexandra. They were invited to a dinner and, being the only two French-speaking people invited, their host introduced them. Their romance, however, started much later. They were married in 2008. They have two children together.
Watch their engagement interview
Watch a documentary in English where Marie talks about her life in Denmark
It is reported that there could *possibly* be tension between Joachim’s first and second wives. You can see an article/video here and decide for yourself
Alexandra Manley, Countess of Frederiksborg (b. 1964) (1st wife of Joachim)
Alexandra was born in Hong Kong, the eldest of three daughters. She met Joachim at a party in Hong Kong where he was working for a Danish shipping company.
Alexandra became popular with the Danish people. Known for her fashion sense and charity work, she was dubbed the Diana of the North. She is a native English and German speaker (through her father and mother, respectively), and her fluency in German helped her pick up the Danish language quickly. Within a few months she spoke it nearly without accent, which further endeared her to the Danes.
She and Joachim divorced in 2005 however she was allowed to keep her title. She has been remarried and divorced once since.
Princess Marie (b. 1976) (2nd wife of Joachim)
Marie was born in France, the only child of wealthy parents.
A self-sufficient woman, Marie had held jobs in PR and advertising before landing a gig as an executive secretary in ING Numismatic Group SA, where she worked until her engagement to Joachim.
The Dowager Princess of Sayn-Wittenstein-Berleburg, Princess Benedikte of Denmark (b. 1944)
Often represents her elder sister at official or semi-official events. She married Richard, 6th Prince of Sayn-Wittgenstein-Berleburg and has 3 children. The couple met at the wedding of Princess Beatrix of the Netherlands and Claus von Amsberg the previous year. Benedikte was there representing her father, King Frederik IX of Denmark, and Richard was a close friend of the groom.
She and her two sisters are extremely close. Since her wedding, Princess Benedikte has divided her time between her marital home at Berleburg Castle, Germany, and Denmark, where she keeps residence at Christian VIII’s Palace in the Amalienborg Complex. Her Royal Highness has also acted as Assistant Regent of Denmark in the absence of her sister, the Queen, Crown Prince Frederik and Prince Joachim.
See info from their wedding
The Queen of the Hellenes, Queen Anne-Marie of Greece (b. 1946)
We’ll have a separate thread for the Greek Monarchy so I will keep this description short. Anne-Marie is the youngest daughter of King Frederick of Denmark and sister to the current Queen. She married King Constantine II of Greece in 1964.
The Greek monarchy is now defunct. Queen AM and her family retain their titles out of courtesy and lived primarily in London after the downfall of the monarchy, though they have since moved back to Greece. She often appears at events with her eldest sister, the Queen, in Denmark.
New Year's Eve Ball
One of my favorite events of the year, the Danish Royals host a NYE ball for government officials and parliamentarians.
Take a look from 2020 or deep dive into prior years for a tiara-fest. Evening gowns, tiaras, furs, oh my!
Jewels
See an overview of their tiaras here
Read a previous RoyalGossip thread on their tiaras here
Fashion
Crown Princess Mary is known as a fashion icon around the world. Feel free to post your favorite outfits of hers below. Personal note - I think she KILLS the evening gown game.
submitted by cincbus to RoyalsGossip [link] [comments]


2020.09.23 01:15 konradkurze202 CK3 Review/Suggestions

So, like many of you, I have finally completed a full run 867 -> 1453 (or w/e the end date is) and I have some thoughts.
First up: OMG do I love the Syncretic tenets! In CK2 my least favorite part of playing a smaller religion (like Jewish or Norse, etc) was having 0 marriage options and just ending up marrying my vassals because thats all who'd have me. The Syncretic traits really open up marriages/alliances and keep that whole diplomatic portion of the game alive even when playing as the last Jewish ruler, or as the Norse emperor after unifying scandinavia.
Men at Arms >>>>> retinues.
New terrain types are awesome ways to make certain areas more economically desirable. And Development is a nice way to really build up territory over time so it starts becoming worth more.

Its not all roses and sunshine though, when I played a game as a Catholic ruler I couldn't really bring myself to keep playing because it is so silly to see Catholicisms Fervor to drop to 20% every decade due to some random bishop no-one cares about being 'sinful', then having swathes of Europe switch to whatever new heresy just popped up. My main game was mostly in Africa/Arabia, but by the end of the game the Byzantine Empire (still super strong) was Cathar, England was Orthodox, Italy was Lollards, and Catholics were kinda spread out in smallish enclaves. Religions shouldn't be anywhere near so fragmented, unless the player deliberately intervenes to cause it.
Also all Christian/Muslim nations should be able to intervene in a holy war when the defender is a heresy of their religion. Sure Catholics don't like Lollards, but they'd rather have Lollards as neighbors than Asatru or Muslim.
The other big problem (from my point of view) is huge empires are way too stable. The Byzantines grew in size over the course of the game, rather than shrinking. The Holy Roman Empire swallowed France, the small parts of Spain that remained Christian, England, and parts of Scandinavia. Vassals should be less inclined to sit meekly in an Empire controlled by a different culture, the fact that France (controlled mostly by the king of Aquitaine) just sat under a German Emperor for a century is silly.

All in all though I'm having a ton of fun with CK3, and am very much looking forward to seeing where it goes from here. CK3 is a much improved base game over CK2, though it is missing some DLC features (which I'm confident will be added in time).
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2020.09.22 22:42 kuwaitflourmills96 Your Gift Idea Questions Answered

Your Gift Idea Questions Answered

https://preview.redd.it/dwj8zbdjgro51.jpg?width=500&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=2b13326c158d7aba69b98272784ddc32661eaaef

Blessing giving has been a movement all through mankind's history. Endowments can have various implications dependent on the individuals in question or the event. Now and then, it is hard to tell what the correct blessing would be.
With an overall thought of the idea of blessing giving, we plan to give you a superior comprehension of what endowments are so you can concoct some extraordinary blessing thoughts for the uncommon individuals throughout your life.
What events and customs in the U.S. customarily include giving endowments or blessing trades?
Various events and festivities call for endowments. On a birthday, the individual having the birthday gets presents, frequently including a cake or some kind of pastry. During the Christmas occasions, individuals regularly trade presents, here and there getting them as far as anyone knows from Santa Clause.
At a wedding, the couple gets blessings, ordinarily for their home, and gives food and beverages at a wedding gathering. On the grave event of a memorial service, guests regularly bring blossoms and the group of the expired gives rewards.
After a birth, the guardians get blessings for the infant youngster. Understudies at a scholarly achievement, for example, a graduation regularly get endowments in congrats.
On Father's and Mother's Day, guardians get blessings from their youngsters. It is a custom likewise for visitors and hosts to trade endowments at parties.
Where are some acceptable spots to go for blessing thoughts?
The customer culture has made it simple for individuals to tell others what they need, so actually it won't be too hard to even consider getting blessing thoughts, particularly for uncommon events like weddings or the introduction of a youngster.
Numerous stores have blessing libraries where individuals partaking in a festival, for example, a wedding can enlist for the kinds of endowments they might want to get. For instance, a couple prospective wedded can go into a store like Target or Bed, Bath and Beyond and register for family unit things that would be useful as they start their coexistence.
This vault or list of things to get measure additionally assists with guaranteeing that visitors of the wedding don't accepting an excessive number of specific things. You just need endless coffeepots in a house!
Various shopper arranged sites have comparative instruments. For instance, Gift ideas will make recommendations about correlative things or different items you may see on the site.
Shouldn't something be said about strictly related blessings?
Eventually in your life, you or your youngster might be welcome to a strict festival. For instance, it has become regular today in the United States for some Jewish families to praise bar or bat mitzvah.
Strikingly enough, such festivals have just gotten basic in the previous century-before that, they were almost unbelievable! The Jewish right of passage is the festival of a Jewish kid coming into adulthood at 13 years old.
The bat mitzvah is for young ladies at 12 years old. It has gotten customary for visitors to carry blessings to the gathering party. On the off chance that you need to give the celebrant a blessing identified with their religion, make certain to know something about the individual's confidence. Generally, the presents given resemble any 12 or 13-year-old kid's birthday celebration present.
Has Christmas consistently been about present giving?
Truly and no. The Christian Bible tells that on the main Christmas, shrewd men brought presents of gold, frankincense, and myrrh to the newborn child Jesus. This has gotten one of the bases for the trading of presents in current Christmas festivities.
In any case, it is fascinating to take note of that two of the blessings, frankincense and myrrh, were utilized in setting up a body for internment. These imageries are neglected today with the commercialization of Christmas.
Today, particularly in created Western nations, individuals are urged to buy blessing upon present for their loved ones. This is a generally new custom, dating just to the nineteenth century.
Be that as it may, figures presently connected with Christmas presents, for example, Santa Claus, have been around for a couple of more hundreds of years. Things being what they are, has Christmas consistently been about present giving? Indeed, however initially it would have been a blessing to God of strict dedication, not really economy-boosting utilization. Take more info
Shouldn't something be said about shopping on the Internet?
The Internet is an exceptionally helpful asset for discovering presents for loved ones. It has gotten one of the focal spots of retail, and short the hang tight for transportation, it will in general be less distressing than setting off to a mall. Read more here Scented candles
You might be just a couple of snaps from finding the ideal present for somebody. You can even send an email asking what the individual might want and simply reorder the reaction into a Google search to discover the thing.
Some Internet-based shops will even send the blessing straightforwardly to the beneficiary and potentially wrap it for you (for an expense, obviously!).
Be certain when buying a blessing on the web that the site is secure, in light of the fact that you should utilize a Visa. For as superb as blessing giving can be, recall that being with somebody in person is the best endowment of all.
Blessings don't generally need to be bought. You could possibly be the blessing somebody needs.
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2020.09.22 21:37 HopefulDrEamur Someone help me get my life together. How do I get my parents to love and understand me. Is mental health even a think for brown parents lol? I can't take this anymore :(( Its too painful

Hey all,
I apologize in advance for this crazy long post but please do read it all if you have the time. I couldn't post this on the "advice" thread since it was partially about suicide however, I honestly just want to someone to hear this and give me some kind of advice or what they think. Thank you.
I am a second year south asian (female) uni student. Now, where do I begin? It is hard to go into depth but I will try to cover as much as I can think of on the top of my head. I don't know if I can get a therapist at the moment but I need help, thats for sure.
Lets start with my backstory:
I am the middle one of four siblings, an older sister 21, a. younger sister 11, and a younger brother 4 and my mom and dad. My mom had an arranged marriage at 20 and got married a week later but thats besides the point. Lets just say, she didn't have the best of luck. My grandma treated my mom like trash—basically a bully, a scary women. My mother who was surrounded by love now at such a young age was put into such a situation where she had to keep it in and deal with this. My dad was there for my mom and would stand up for her but he was gone to work most of the day. The moved to Canada a year after their marriage so it was basically my mom and no one she could talk to and didn't want her parents to worry. My dad has very short temper so she didn't like when he yelled at my grandma but my dad IS A REALLY honest, good guy but he's just uuuhhh not helpful if you know what I mean. From '96 to 2012 but my mom dealt with this bullshit not just with my grandma but my aunt as well who has no reason to say anything but she would come into our house cause she had a spare key and would always say bs to my mom. I cannot go into full details into what kinds of things she said since I was young myself. My mom would go to work then come home and feed everybody and repeat over and over again. So what I am trying to say is, my mom had a very difficult life after she got married. My dad is someone i look up to and want to be one day. He is one of a kind. The only one working and providing for all of us and still makes SO much time to hang out with us. I seriously appreciate EVERYTHING he has done for us. My siblings, well not much to say about them they are just dope and we are all close regardless of our age range.
The reason why I told all that even though it doesn't necessarily have anything to do with me is because it kind of shows the environment we grew up in. Now lets go back in time, its 2012, my grandpa was still alive. This was the year my mom decided she had enough of this crap even though she ran away once or twice but came back the day after. But anyways, she decided that she was going to live in our house's basement and my older sister, little sister and I also went downstairs in the basement. My dad stayed upstairs just to take care of my grandpa because he was slowly starting to get sick. We had a lot of family problems at that time with our aunts and uncles and the house was a negative space. My grandma still never respected my mom and would go downstairs and snoop everywhere and give our snacks to my little cousins who came over literally everyday cause there moms didn't know how to handle a child lol. Basically when we were babies, not only did my mom take care of us but those ungrateful pieces of ships :). But still, no one will remember that and thank my mom. thats besides the point. My mom was obviously mentally exhausted and had depression and sometimes would say she wants to commit suicide. I was only 11 and took that to heart and would pray every night hoping that my family lives a long, happy life full of success and a healthy life. One day, we went to a reception party for my uncles wedding. Everyone went, it was a day to celebrate. Except my grandpa insisting he stays home, he said he wasn't feeling well. My dad stayed late at the party and I was all smiles looking at him happy, dancing with my mom. We went home but my dad stayed. I was the first to open the door (age 11). All I saw was my grandpa's feet not touching the floor. He had hung himself on the stair railing. My sister and I didn't know what to do and my baby sister (3) was crying and we had to take her downstairs. I don't know what happened after that. I just remember seeing my dad come in a little later—something i never want to witness again. He seemed so broken. During the funeral my grandma was crying and telling people how she was with her husband trying to get him down and that my mom wasn't doing anything. When in reality, my grandma went upstairs to change into something more comfortable and literally walked past her husband while my mom tried to get him off but he was very heavy. So basically went around gossiping bullshit. All I am trying to say is my grandpa had depression and my grandma always mistreated him and when he was alive, she always told him to stop complaining about his pain. Poor man. Lots of shit has happened. Another one that hurts me is that my grandma continues to lie that she threw away my older sister and my dolls when we were young because at the time my mom was pregnant. My grandpa wanted a grandson and believed dolls would only bring another girl. Basically this old woman is self-centred and loves herself and no one else. But she got her karma because once, she was exercising and fell on her back and its been almost five years and she is in pain and complains all the time and my aunt and her family don't treat her properly(shes healed but shes mentally made herself think shes still in a lot of pain. She doesn't understand that shes old and will not be fit like she used to. Thats what age does). They treat her HORRIBLY. thats all im going to say. My mom won't let her in. Nor will my dad's brothers wife. Basically no one wants my grandma because this ONE woman has made everyone's life miserable one way or another. She is really getting karma. Moral of the story, have respect and love for others <3.
Anyways, that was very long but thats not the main story. I need to talk about my life. I cannot remember much from when I was young. But growing up I remember my parents and uncles/aunts always calling me "kamli" (crazy) as a joke and at the time i would laugh and think nothing of it but growing up no one took me serious. It was just me and my older sister until I turned 9. My little sister came. My dad adored her, everyone did. I was somewhat forgotten. And the only time they remembered me was when I was in trouble. I have a diary actually and some things I have written in there are: "Since my little sister was born, my parents always yell at me and get angry at me." and also "I want to commit suicide..." I was shook reading this because I was only 12. So basically I have had such emotions for a very long time. My dad never raised a hand on any of my siblings, EVER. But me, I got a lot of it. It crossed the line a couple of times but mostly got slapped. It became normal for me. I would honestly just laugh it off or pretend to not be hurt by it and just stand there emotionless. I have never had a good relationship with my mom and its complicated to explain because these things that triggered it were small events in my life so I cannot remember. But we would fight, not talk for weeks and then I always said sorry and then things would go back to normal. I was a hyper, energetic kid. That is still my personality. It is extremely different from my siblings. They saying I have an annoying personality. I feel like I had minor ADHD or what I am trying to say is, it wasn't in my control but the excitement of absolutely nothing would take over me. I couldn't read situations and that caused trouble. Over my teenage years and even childhood I was heavily involved in sports, basically everyone except my mom. Life was busy. Elementary years I would get in trouble a lot for arguing with the boys in my class so my parents never had high expectations of me and honestly were never strict with me in that sense. Now lets fast forward to high school. You would think as an indian parents would be strict on your studies now, but naaahh. I got away with basically all my years with decent grades and they wouldn't ask me. All the attention was on my older sister and on adoring little sister. So, since I had so much freedom I would just watch anime and just day dream and draw cartoons. In grade 9 midway I failed math but my mom got mad so I stepped it up and ended with a B—the only time I kind of got yelled at for a bad grade. Then came the other years. In grade 10/11 more fights with family and I would just go into my room and punch my head attempting to hurt myself. I would cry almost everyday. I was depressed. Grade 12 my best friend at the time and I got closer because of boy talk ahahah. She slit her wrists and ended up in the hospital and ever since then, I stayed up until 2am talking to her always being there for her and listening to her. She was a smart student. Anyways, applying for school with such shitty grades I was in a negative space especially getting yelled at constantly. I would call her for help or more like just to get it off my shoulders but she was never there for me. Always had an excuse saying she was busy. I tried to cut my wrist with a sharp butter knife but it was never sharp enough so I ended up crying until I couldn't anymore. My mom and I fought a lot during this time and when she would scream at me, it hurt . On top of that, my dad yelled on the daily for the smallest things—such as my room needs to be cleaned. The same best friend at the time, in 2019 april made a dating account for me and I was fascinated. Started talking to boys and felt important. Wasted my life on it and in summer I got this huge phone bill that my parents payed for cause I don't work. And oh man oh man was I going to get disowned but got another chance at life b/c of my mom. But never did my dad trust me. University now started and I finally had freedom. Didn't really do anything except make out once and talk to this boy from my friend group who I caught feelings for and he was SUPER helpful and gave such good life advice and we got closer. He sexually assaulted me though but before winter break he apologized so many times that I forgave him. And after that, we "dated" right when we got back—first week we were sexually active going from one thing to another (everything except sex since he was a "good" christian) but did all that and only talked to me at night and second week he said we should start to focus on studies and see each other less and would barely talk or text me and started becoming cold everytime we met and honestly treated me like shit. Febuary 14 he said come over since we were still a thing so I did and was so happy. He said sorry he was so busy but he was still acting cold. He never hugged my once that night. The next day at night we broke up. Slowly after a few months I got over it. I healed and mentally in a better place. Corona happened and the whole family was back together. Life was normal and somewhat didn't mind being home but I am writing this because even though i say that. I write everything in a diary whenever I am sad. I havent talked to my mom in almost two months. My dad...he yells at me too much. My younger sister tells me she doesn't understand why he treats me so differently. I know I am rebellious but I feel suffocated at home. I don't feel loved and no one understands me. I try to have conversations with my parents but they just cannot understand where I am coming from. The other day my little sister made my little brother cry and I was standing a few steps away from them. My dad came stomping in and yelled at me as if I had murdered someone and then my little sister stepped in front saying it was her. And he was like "oh" and said "not like it hurts you" in a jokingly way to me. Even if I am scarmbling eggs peacefully in the morning, he comes and stands beside me telling me i am doing it wrong and if I question "how" he gets mad and says "is this the way you talk to your parents? I am going to stop paying for you". And I also control my tone of voice because I used to get mad but I try to talk emotionlessly but it still somehow pisses them off. I want to just kill myself honestly. I cannot tell you how emotionally drained I am. I know in a few years I will have a job and can leave the house but I want their love and affection. But I don't know how I can stay patient for and just let them treat my like this. My mom hates how I am always laughing and sometimes thinks I am provoking her by intentionally doing it which is part of the reason we had an arguement two months ago. She said that day "How would you react if your father slapped you hard across the face?" out of nowhere on the dinner table. Apparently my sister said that same evening my mom wanted us to stay quiet as she was sleeping but I was laughing and she thought I was doing it on purpose. I had no idea. You may think I am making a big deal out of a small thing. But I cannot tell you how many times these small things add up over time. These things hurt and it builds up and I don't know what to do. I am useless...I am a disappointment, rebellious, not trustworthy and not financially stable. My mom stopped making food for me and I am losing a lot of weight and try to make whatever I can. School has started so have sports and this is mentally and physically taking a huge toll on my body. I am lonely and and nothing I can do about it. This is all I could think on the top of my head but i apologize for not going into proper detail. Its all blurry and emotions are all over the place. I can't think.
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2020.09.22 16:00 Angel466 [Bob the hobo] A Celestial Wars Spin-Off Part 0168

PART ONE HUNDRED AND SIXTY-EIGHT
With the alarm triggered, the whole building was in lockdown until someone with a much higher paygrade than Daniel found out what was going on and decided whether to keep it going or not. Given how this bastard had had the balls to come into 1PP like he owned the place, Daniel could only hope whoever he was using as an inside contact wasn’t that high.
But even as he raced through the building, he couldn’t help but wonder why now? Trevino had been in a hospital bed with one cop outside his room for weeks. If anyone was going to try and take him out, that would’ve been the better time by far. Doctors came and went all the time and nobody batted an eye.
So what’s changed?
The only thing he could put it down to was the Harris brothers, and he cursed long and hard at their treacherous existences. It was no coincidence that within hours of discovering Trevino was in custody, a serious attempt was made on the witness' life.
He’d heard Robbie call out to him when he left in pursuit of the assassin, but there was nothing he would’ve been willing to do to save him. Trevino would either live or die, depending on the actions of his care-giving roommate. He would have no part in it.
Yes, it was a callous call to make, but he had his reasons. The least of which was Trevino himself. Trevino’s testimony would’ve been a huge loss to the case, but at the end of the day, that’s all the kid was to him. A witness who still hadn’t fully committed to testifying. However, the doctor having the balls to come into his house and try and kill someone … that was another matter entirely, and the chase was on.
A few seconds later, he found the white lab coat that the doctor must’ve been wearing stuffed behind a potted plant. Shit! You are NOT getting away from me that easily, you fucker! Daniel flipped out the collar and took a deep sniff of the sweat line from the doctor’s neck, his senses already shifting to that of a bloodhound. He couldn’t go all out and reproduce the wrinkly skin and large sweeping ears that turned those dog's noses into veritable vacuums, but with the place in lockdown, it was only a matter of time before the bastard was cornered.
He just had to take his time, knowing it would be a little bit harder to track him standing upright. Scent trails were always strongest along the ground, but he’d had some practice getting around this. Kneeling to do a shoelace now and again or dropping a pen or keys or something and needing to go on all fours to retrieve it had both worked fine in the past.
It was times like this (although he’d never admit it to Angus) that he wished he was a true gryps instead of a ranged shifter. Their ability to take any aspect of any living thing and integrate it without crafting the necessary infrastructure to support it was bullshit. Especially when they weren’t limited to the animals found on Earth. No doubt somewhere in the universe there was something that could track and trace using a pheromone pulled out of their butt-crack, and because of what they were, they didn’t need the rest of the body structure to make that ability happen. If they wanted to breathe fire, they only had to open their mouths. He would’ve needed to reconstruct his whole chest cavity to produce the same result.
Following the scent, he realised his target hadn’t waited for the elevator, but had taken the stairs instead. Suits me, asshole, he thought, taking the stairs three at a time regardless of how tempting it was to go over the rail and land further down the stairwell. As he came out on the ground floor, a pair of EMTs were rushing between the desks carrying a stretcher and all of their gear. Neither side really paused as he shouted brief directions to the interview rooms upstairs, though a quick glance over his shoulder as the elevator doors closed had one of them nod at him. Then he was back on the hunt again.
The bastard was slick and stayed constantly on the move. He wasn’t hiding and waiting for the all-clear as most criminals would. Nor did it help when people kept wanting to know what was going on. As a senior detective, he was able to ignore most of them, but not once the police commissioner herself demanded answers. Then he was forced to stop and report.
A team of half a dozen from the fire department appeared at the glass front doors and were waved through without a problem. Since the odds of another disaster requiring a secondary team of first responders were beyond a joke, Daniel gave them the same directions he gave the original EMTs.
And since it was only one flight up (plus they didn’t have much in the way of gear), they raced for the stairs.
“This individual could be anywhere, Nascerdios,” Commissioner Yeager said. “We’ll go floor by floor, and open up the levels as they’ve been cleared. We can’t keep 1PP locked down like this for long.”
Daniel flared his nostrils in frustration. Floor by floor would be the most thorough way normally, but it would also mean he would have to disengage and reengage the scent a thousand times over. And right now, he had it. All he had to do was follow it, and he’d find their perp a lot quicker than a floor by floor search. “But ma’am…”
The commissioner held up her hand. “No buts, detective. I want this bastard found. He is NOT getting out of this building without being in cuffs.”
It was a sentiment Daniel appreciated, however misguided. “Yes, ma’am,” he said, in frustrated resignation. So, floor by floor it was. His only consolation was he knew they would get him … eventually.
With the help of those on the first level, Daniel checked the bathrooms (that didn’t even remotely carry his scent) and several other rooms around them, coming up (no surprise) completely empty. In fact, he knew their unwanted guest hadn’t been on that side of the floor at all.
KNowing he was wasting his time, Daniel doubled back into the main cluster of desks just as the elevator opened and Trevino was being wheeled out. He was surrounded by EMTs and firefighters, with a lifepack 15 perched on his shins, blipping away merrily. The EMT closest to Trevino’s shoulder pumped a breathing bag every few seconds and if he were honest, Trevino’s colour did not look good.
Without an appropriate Nascerdios on hand, he’d have put Trevino’s survival rate in the negatives.
Speaking of Trevino’s saviour, Robbie and Lucas rushed down the last few steps to join them on the first floor, along with a small contingent of officers that were there to act as escort. (Because they clearly didn’t want to wait for the next elevator.)
“Hey! Back off, pal!” one of the firefighters on the far side of Daniel snarled.
Daniel’s attention shot back to Trevino, but with everyone in the way, he couldn’t see the specifics of what was going on. But he smelt it. The scent he was after suddenly permeated the air in fear, and just like that, Daniel had the whole picture.
Their would-be assassin had attempted to join the medical team in the hopes of getting out. The way Lucas’ eyes widened, then dropped in rage confirmed the assassin’s identity and he was much closer to the action then Daniel was. But it seemed Robbie was just as switched on. His gaze was angled towards the floor and even from this distance, Daniel could see the embers of fire sparking to life in his eyes.
“DOBSON!” Daniel shouted using the shout to galvanise the officer into movement.
Lucas was already on the move, dropping his hand from Robbie’s shoulder and charging down the left side of Trevino’s medics to join in the fray. The officers with him raced to join him and between them all, Daniel had no doubt that the assassin would be restrained.
But Robbie was the one he needed to get to in a hurry. Before someone else saw what was going on with him and started drawing unwanted conclusions!
Running towards the nearest table and chair between them, he used both as a crude two-step to launch himself at the young stripper, collecting him squarely around the shoulders and driving him back into the wall. Calm down, kid! he commanded, using his shoulders to shield him from everyone else.
Like him, Robbie was a ranged shifter. Like him, Robbie was at least half-human. They weren’t full bloods like most of the others. They were hybrids. Hybrids with a very specific strain of genetic material inside them.
With Daniel’s emotional command in place, the fight left Robbie before it truly began and he stood with his hands on Daniel’s elbows, breathing heavily.
“You good?” Daniel asked, staring the younger man in the eye.
Robbie nodded until he realised the medical team were leaving without him and he pushed off the wall hard enough to leave a light imprint.
Daniel tightened his grip. “Hold up, hotshot,” he said, not willing to let Robbie go. “You and I need to talk first.”
Robbie’s head swivelled towards Daniel, almost as if to gauge how much wiggle room he had in that statement. So Daniel made damned sure his expression gave the clear answer of none.
“We’ll be right behind you, buddy!” Robbie called, after the disappearing stretcher.
As the medics and firefighters left the building and the apprehended assassin was taken away, Daniel kept his hand on Robbie's shoulder. “C’mon, pal. Let’s talk.”
Daniel led the way back up to the second floor, pleased that his spontaneous decision to let Lucas do the takedown meant he could dodge the immediate deluge of paperwork. Finding an empty interview room, he looked over his shoulder at the door handle that led to the correlating observation room and solidified all the moving parts, jamming it solid. Then he led Robbie into the awaiting interview room and shut the door.
“How did you know it was him?” Daniel asked, deciding to start on the more mundane side of the discussion first.
“His shoes,” Robbie answered, walking back and forth in front of the table, rubbing his arms. "Him and his fancy freakin’ shoes.” He dropped his hands and whirled on Daniel. “Why the hell did you pick chasing after that guy over saving Angelo? He needed you and you took off!”
It had been Daniel’s intent to ease into this subject, but Robbie’s outburst now made him wonder if he should knock another couple of levels off of his agitation. He decided against it, believing some adrenaline in his system might counter the shock he was about to receive. “People like you and I can’t be seen to be producing miracles, Robbie. Lucas is smart. The cameras would have recorded it and that assassin knows exactly what he pumped into Trevino. Not to mention those EMTs! There are too many witnesses who know Trevino should be dead, and someone is going to eventually link it back to you.” Not now, Daniel thought to himself, though Robbie didn’t need to know that. Without the camera footage, it was all a guessing game, and that was the first thing Daniel leaned into his attunement to modify.
“I may not want that attention, but other than that, big whoop?”
Daniel wanted to bang his head against the table. He almost did. “You don’t get it, Robert,” he said, deliberately switching to his full name to infer he was in trouble. “You and I are both predisposed to an existing establishment field here on Earth that neither one of us can afford to take on!”
“What are you even talking about?”
Daniel placed his fists on the table and leaned into them, practically looming at him. “What I’m talking about, you lunatic, is that we are over half-human with both the blood of the supreme demon lord and the Almighty of Heaven running in our veins. Half the western world is waiting for us to step up and take our place in their religion, and that's the last thing any of us wants.”
Daniel waited for the penny to drop, but all Robbie did was stare blankly at him in confusion. The innocence in that gaze forced Daniel to pull back and approach this more gently. “Kid, how much do you know about Christianity?”
“A bit. Not a lot,” he admitted.
“Do you know that in the Christian world, the Son of God has been and gone?”
“Yeah,” Robbie replied snidely, pinching his lips to one side and folding his arms. “That one’s definitely covered under the basics of what I know.” He flicked Daniel a thumbs-up and curled his lips into a forced smile of mock appreciation. “Thanks.”
Since it had been marginally insulting, the detective decided he’d give the cheeky little shit’s snark a pass. “And did you also know that the Son of the Devil, descended of God, has yet to officially walk the Earth?”
Robbie lost his swagger and arched an eyebrow, without saying a word.
In other words, nope.
CRAP! Daniel released a huff and stared at the table between his hands, having hoped he wouldn’t have to spell it out any more bluntly than that, but … it just wasn’t meant to be. Okay. Brass tacks it is.
After exhaling sharply, he snapped his eyes to Robbie and said without heat, “The reason I can’t be linked to public miracles, is because I’m a goddamn antichrist, kid.” He watched Robbie’s face pale as that word at least sank home. Even the non-religious of the western world had seen horror movies like The Omen and Rosemary’s Baby and knew what an antichrist was. He then added in an even quieter voice, “And so are you, cuz.”
Robbie’s aura went the same smoky white as his shocked face and his legs gave out from underneath him, dropping him on his ass like a puppet with its strings cut.
And that’s why I leave the notifications to Suzie-Q, Daniel mused to himself as he left the table and went over to where Robbie sat, staring at the floor in disbelief. With a sigh of regret, he squatted on his toes, and with one forearm resting on his knee, he took Robbie’s shoulder in the other and squeezed. “Welcome to the family, kiddo.”
* * *

PART ONE HUNDRED AND SIXTY-NINE

((AUTHOR'S NOTE: Still drawing on the EMT details of my friend, so still a huge shout out to him for all of his continuing support!))
Previous Part 167
((All comments welcome))
I made a family tree/diagram of the Mystallian family that can be found here
For more of my work including previous parts or WPs: Angel466 or indexed here
FULL INDEX OF BOB THE HOBO TO DATE CAN BE FOUND HERE!!
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2020.09.22 16:00 Dog-Lick-Gink Ⓙ Rebrand: Depth (23rd to 29th of Sep, 2020) A detailed track choice rationale...

Ⓙ Rebrand: Depth (23rd to 29th of Sep, 2020) A detailed track choice rationale...
Ⓙ Rebrand: Depth - artwork showcase and theme description graphic
Ⓙ Rebrand is a 1 hour long curated Spotify playlist with new music, artwork and theme/title each week. This post details a song choice rationale for each track in this week’s Ⓙ Rebrand playlist in chronological order. All past weekly “Rebrand” playlists are saved on my Spotify profile and if you come across this post outside of the date in the post title, here is a link to the Ⓙ Rebrand: Depth (23/09/20) playlist of which the following content is relevant.
Overview:
  • Title/Theme: Depth
  • Length: 1 hour and 2 Minutes
  • Number of tracks: 13
  • Theme accompanied description: To attain depth (the quality of being intense or extreme), it takes commitment.
  • Genres this week: Organic electronic, deep disco house, minimal tech house, organic electronic, jazz fusion, alternative metal, Australian alternative rock, melodic metalcore, new wave pop, alt-rock/pop punk, british jazz pop and indie soul.
  • The Ⓙ Rebrand playlist is organised into genres (within the Spotify app). If you can't see these labels in your app: go to Settings>DisplayOptions>Show unavailable songs ☑ )
Song choice rationale and track descriptions:
Dissociative - Traf: [Genre: organic electronic] This track has been sitting in the Ⓙ Rebrand Archive 2020 since the start of the month now and I think it deserves to be shared. This song ticks some boxes for me in terms of both an uplifting and exciting sound as well as having elements groovy synth to it. As I have listened to a lot of synthwave and organic electronic this track vibes well on both fronts while also pulling in some chill guitar riffs into the mix. It’s just an easy going starter to the playlist this week, but it sets the mood for some faster paced songs to follow.
Phill Callings - Aquarius Heaven: [Genres: deep disco house, german house] So, this week I have decided to feature another track by Brian Brewster aka: “Aquarius Heaven” and I’m still “frothing” this vibe. It’s experimental house music with roots in reggae and dancehall featuring a hip-hop singer with colours of the Caribbean in his voice. IMO the other track on this EP (Work That Body) is nowhere near as good. This track is the one I would have featured last week and I’m still loving it; so after mentioning there might be more AH featured, this is the one. I have also set this track as my “current obsession” on GinkoMusic LastFM as well as placed it in Ⓙ Ginko’s Obsessions.
What They Say - Maya Jane Coles: [Genres: uk house, deep disco house, minimal tech house, electra, deep house, house, electronica, microhouse] This is straight up one of the most groovy and catchy tracks in the line-up. Hard not to be moved by this one (unless of course you can’t hear or you have a hole in your heart). Now this is the most popular track on Spotify by the artist: Maya Jane Coles, but I have to say it was a hard pick between this and Simple Things which is also on the same album: What They Say EP but I figured, it’s the opening track and it’s the main track on the album. If you dig this sound, I’d encourage you to suss out the rest of the album. There were a lot of tracks I had to choose from in the Maya Jane Coles catalogue, but I’ll be tempted to keep them in the rotations throughout the week.
Delta - Solace Remix - Katl June, Solanca: [Genres: progressive house, organic house] This is a Solanca remix of the original track by Katl June. It's another one of those tracks that isn’t really that “exciting” but I think it has its place in providing a good ambient soundscape that promotes productivity and commitment to the task(s) you’re doing. Not much of a feature but a nice chill house track with uplifting vibes that I think still has merit. It actually works well as a bit of a palate cleanser in the playlist.
Jorge - Satori Remix - Acid Pauli, Satori: [Genres: organic electronic, ethnotronica, organic house, organic electronic, organic house, microhouse, deep euro house, minimal techno, tech house] Another track that has a phenomenal introduction worth my kudos. This is the soundtrack to the artwork this week, a futuristic world that still functions well, but has some downfalls. It’s some pretty stylish house music if you ask me, but each to their own.
Back to the Basics - AW: [Genre: tech-house] So, back in April this year I featured a similar track in Rebrand “Back to Basics” by KVPV, in Ⓙ Rebrand 29/04/20 but I think I like this version better. Not only am I enjoying AW’s very limited and underground discography, but this track has more of the sounds I like in it; drumming, hard tech-house style and some quality mastering.
My House - Joe Jackson: [Genres: Jazz fusion, dance rock, art rock, mellow gold, new wave pop, new romantic, pub rock, soft rock] I hate to have to put a Joe Jackson track in Rebrand, but I’ve been digging this one lately and I think he makes some good music. I know I’m mostly going to be alone here, so no offence if this track gets skipped, but I am including quite a lot more nostalgic tracks this week, so it might not be enjoyed by everyone. I love the lyrics "one of these days I'm gonna smash somebody's car and smash the coppers face, as they take me away, but I gotta go home now" - It really captures the feelings a lot of people have when they keep emotions bottled up until one day they just snap...
You - Breaking Benjamin: [Genres: alternative metal, post-grunge, nu metal] This song expresses the mistakes the singer has made while living a life of drug abuse and in doing so, took his lover for granted. This song expresses the sorrow and contrition of the singer for setting such a terrible example and making these mistakes. I really enjoy singing this track and I chose it mostly for that reason. It is a track I have always loved.
All I Know - Karnivool: [Genres: Australian alternative rock, djent, alternative metal, progressive metal] I have been a fan of Karnivool for many years now and this song is somewhat dear to my heart. I’ve been getting a lot out of this song lately and it’s got some really nice melodies to sing along to. I just love the bridge in this track too (it starts at half way). It's one of the grooviest things you'll hear, featuring off-beat drumming and ambient guitar… gives me goosebumps. This track has been on high rotation the past week. It's a very nice song folks.
Louder Voice - Fit For A King: [Genres: melodic Christian metalcore, deathcore, post-screamo] I wanted to feature one track off the album The Path by Fit For A King which was released in full this past week. This song has an acceptable intro, which makes the transition into the genre easier, but the song is pretty full-on both lyrically and musically. It covers the topic of experiencing cognitive dissonance around letting love back into your life while struggling with multiple voices or outlooks on the matter.
Somebody’s Watching Me - Single Version - Rockwell: [Genres: new wave pop, dance rock, new romantic, new wave, synthpop, soft rock, disco, europop, mellow gold, motown] There are a few nostalgic tunes in this week’s playlist. This one reminds me of the days when I was first getting into dance music, listening to Ministry of Sound. I can’t imagine there would be too many people who would skip this old banger of a synth track. There’s a reason it was popular and as much as we love hearing new songs, there’s always a place for nostalgia and music is so powerful in delivering it. For anyone interested, the BeatFreakz version of this track is the one featured on Ministry of Sound's: Sessions Three, released in 2006, but I currently like the Rockwell Single version better; BeatFreaks trashed the mastering in their version, but if I want to tap into that true nostalgia, the BeatFreaks version hits the spot.
crushcrushcrush - Paramore: [Genres: alt-rock, candy pop, pixie, pop punk, pop emo] Yeah, another early 2000’s tune. I got right into this album again the past week and it was pulling some nostalgic strings for me. This was probably one of my favourite Paramore songs back in the day and I have enjoyed bringing it back this week.
Julie Mangos - Tom Misch, Yussef Dayes: [Genres: British jazz pop, indie soul] I really like this quirky little track off the new album: What Kinda Music by Tom Misch (multi-instrumentalist) and Yussef Dayes (drummeproducer). This particular track resonated with me because I like the dynamic chosen to convey a little story. It’s personal, but it’s also really nice to just get a snippet of two friends' lives. The music changes with the perceived emotion of the participants in the conversation recorded. Very exciting shit homies. I didn’t leave this track to last because it’s my least favourite of the set; I positioned it here because it sets me up with such a good mood when I listen to it, I hoped it would end the playlist in a really nice way for everyone. If you enjoy it, I encourage you to bang on the rest of the album. Also featured in Ⓙ Album of the week until next Wednesday. It’s a great, ambient album; suggested to me by a close friend and I rate this experimental style highly. The drumming in this album is quite phenomenal really, groovy shit. It’s a good, chill listen... Check it out.
submitted by Dog-Lick-Gink to Rebrand_Playlist [link] [comments]


2020.09.22 14:24 ThrowRAbluesoul Unsure about whether I (22M) should continue my relationship of 3 years with my SO (22F) because of issues with mental health, sex, and general differences. Should I end it or try to repair what we have?

Sorry in advance for the long post, I tried to do my best covering everything.
Recently, I've been stuck between a very rough decision on what I want to do with my current relationship. This girl, Laura, and I have been dating for about 3 and half years. She lives in the city and I live in the suburbs about an hour or so away. We try to see each other as much as possible, but we both work fulltime so we get limited time together on weekends and some days off. The relationship has been smooth up until this past year and a half or so. We met in college at about 19 and shared a good amount in common, eventually leading to us going out after hanging out for a bit. Things were intimate, we liked to be around each other, and everything was generally great in the beginning.
A couple months in, she told me that she suffers from mental health issues and provided the option for me to leave if that bothered me. It showed during the first months of our relationship where she would cry herself to sleep at night and I would hold her. I didn't question it much as she had lost her father a year or so back at the time, so some pent up emotions made sense to me. I decided this would be okay as many of my close friends struggle with their own mental health issues and I see no qualms in being there for someone for better or worse, especially when they're willing to acknowledge it and plan to work towards feeling better. However, these mental health issues began to progress further and further into darker territories than I expected.
Originally I was not provided specifics as to what exactly was going on, which was okay as I did not want to pressure her into talking about anything she found uncomfortable. Some problematic coping mechanisms showed themselves over time and the symptoms became more apparent. She would hurt herself, act generally nihilistic towards herself and others, and would suffer from various unhealthy habits. We talked about her getting help, but she made it very clear that she is staunchly against therapy and does not like the idea of having to take medication every day just to be what society deems "normal." While I can understand the sentiment, this is something that gravely affects her own life and mine as well given how severe and prevalent these issues are. Her reasoning for not wanting therapy she says is that she does not want anyone to know her personal life and that anyone knowing is a violation of her privacy, with the exception of her telling me her problems. Even grievances I've made to my parents about cleaning habits have been met with anger from her if that puts it into perspective.
I have constantly supported the idea of looking for help for her mental health issues, even offering to pay. She has opened up further to the idea, but she was not able to get help previously due to familial reasons, insurance, and circumstantial issues. Now that the pandemic is in full swing, she is unable to find a doctor in her area that will see her or provide any sort of online support. Along with this, I'm generally uneducated in the process to look for and get help for someone in this situation.
I've tried my best to research, but from the information she's given me about how the doctors in her area aren't willing to see new patients, it make sit difficult to get a recommendation to a psychiatrist or someone who could generally help her that would be covered or somewhat covered by her insurance. While I do want her to get help and I do want to see her be okay, this has been grating on me and my own emotional state. I try to help her and be there for her while respecting her boundaries, but it feels more and more like I've morphed into this amalgamation of a boyfriend and a caretaker. And as such, my own mental health has deteriorated, no thanks to everything else going on as well. I've managed to keep a generally positive attitude during it all, but it's been difficult on myself. It make sme feel genuinely selfish to see an issue like this where she's in pain and make it about me, but it doesn't help that it feels so unbalanced.
To add to the situation, sex between us has been slowly diminishing over the past year and a half. I asked Laura about this and she said that she just did not care much for sex, cuddling, or intimacy. She even went as far as to say that there are some days where she feels "gross in her own skin" and that it feels incredibly uncomfortable to be touched by people when she does feel like this. She does like to have sex, but not as frequently and rarely ever feels the need to explore the sexual side of our relationship. She made it clear that she felt we were having sex too much beforehand and wanted to slow it down, but that it has only continued to decline. Before we had sex every time we saw each other, at least once a week on the weekends. Now, however, it has gone down to about 2 times over the past 6-8 months when we've seen each other a good amount of weekends. She's unsure as to whether it may be caused by her mental health issues, but she has also made it clear that sex is just not something she sees as important in a relationship. I confronted her on this issue along with her mental health and told her that I would never give her a due date to try to work on these issues, but that if things did not change that I could not promise that I would be happy in the relationship and that I would most likely opt to end it.
Along with the mental health and sex issues, it's become more and more apparent that the things we once held in common have slowly gone as well. For example, she tends to be very outspoken and opinionated while I am laid back and nonchalant. This used to work in our favor where she always chose food or would have some genuinely interesting takes on things. However, now it extends to everything. Movies, shows, games, the things I love to do, etc. always feels as though they're under constant scrutiny. For example, I tried showing her some Studio Ghibli films because they happen to be some of my favorite movies and they shaped a lot of my childhood. Immediately before watching them, her mind had already been made up about some of the films. Howl's Moving Castle was considered stupid, the art style looked atrocious, the stories didn't make sense; you get the idea. This extends to everything. She dislikes video games entirely (a hobby of which I enjoy quite a lot), hates a lot of new technology, and is generally just mean spirited towards things she dislikes. One of the main things we bonded over upon meeting each other was the Marvel Cinematic Universe. She loved it and so do I, but as things continued, she's slowly begun to dislike more and more of the newer movies which is fine, but considering this was something we used to share and enjoy together, it hurts to see that change and have nothing to replace it.
Of the many big differences we have, the most concerning one is that our religious ideologies don't exactly line up. While I would describe myself as someone who is more agnostic or atheist but likes to learn about all types of religion, she is staunchly Christian and very old school. The thing that struck me the most was hearing from her that she does not believe in evolution. As someone who studied sciences for my degree and has worked my life living by science, it feels almost unreal to see someone I know and love just disregard it for the sake of their beliefs. While I do understand why in some ways, it's a very hard concept for me to grasp without seeing this as a glaring difference between us. Having different religions I think is okay and letting people learn about them is fine, but it feels to me like an extreme notion to overlook science.
While I have said all these negative things, I'd like to leave it on a positive note. This girl is an incredible person and has been there for me through a lot. I still love her and even if the relationship doesn't work, I very much see us remaining friends. She has been my rock through a lot and she does genuinely love me. The point is she really tries and while I understand that these are some big differences, this is not an issue I'm am trying to take lightly.
Now I'm unsure whether to stay with her because of all this. She's slowly lost interest in the things we enjoyed together, I'm overall unhappy, and there just seems to be no happy medium anymore. I've given my best in the relationship and I'm wary to leave because even now there are so many good moments where we go out and have fun, and it's genuinely comforting to have a person who loves you so wholeheartedly be by your side. But I do see that this seems to be heading in a bad direction for both of us. So, does it seem like it would be a good idea to work on the relationship or do our best to try to find new people? Any advice would be incredibly appreciated!
TL;DR: My GF and I have been growing apart because of issues with her mental health, lack of intimacy, and general differences. I'm unsure whether to stay and work on us or leave for us to both find better people.
submitted by ThrowRAbluesoul to relationships [link] [comments]


2020.09.22 07:50 HopefulDrEamur Someone help me get my life together. How do I get my parents to love and understand me. Is mental health even a think for brown parents lol? I can't take this anymore :(( Its too painful

Hey all,
I apologize in advance for this crazy long post but please do read it all if you have the time. Thank you.
I am a second year south asian (female) uni student. Now, where do I begin? It is hard to go into depth but I will try to cover as much as I can think of on the top of my head. I don't know if I can get a therapist at the moment but I need help, thats for sure.
Lets start with my backstory:
I am the middle one of four siblings, an older sister 21, a. younger sister 11, and a younger brother 4 and my mom and dad. My mom had an arranged marriage at 20 and got married a week later but thats besides the point. Lets just say, she didn't have the best of luck. My grandma treated my mom like trash—basically a bully, a scary women. My mother who was surrounded by love now at such a young age was put into such a situation where she had to keep it in and deal with this. My dad was there for my mom and would stand up for her but he was gone to work most of the day. The moved to Canada a year after their marriage so it was basically my mom and no one she could talk to and didn't want her parents to worry. My dad has very short temper so she didn't like when he yelled at my grandma but my dad IS A REALLY honest, good guy but he's just uuuhhh not helpful if you know what I mean. From '96 to 2012 but my mom dealt with this bullshit not just with my grandma but my aunt as well who has no reason to say anything but she would come into our house cause she had a spare key and would always say bs to my mom. I cannot go into full details into what kinds of things she said since I was young myself. My mom would go to work then come home and feed everybody and repeat over and over again. So what I am trying to say is, my mom had a very difficult life after she got married. My dad is someone i look up to and want to be one day. He is one of a kind. The only one working and providing for all of us and still makes SO much time to hang out with us. I seriously appreciate EVERYTHING he has done for us. My siblings, well not much to say about them they are just dope and we are all close regardless of our age range.
The reason why I told all that even though it doesn't necessarily have anything to do with me is because it kind of shows the environment we grew up in. Now lets go back in time, its 2012, my grandpa was still alive. This was the year my mom decided she had enough of this crap even though she ran away once or twice but came back the day after. But anyways, she decided that she was going to live in our house's basement and my older sister, little sister and I also went downstairs in the basement. My dad stayed upstairs just to take care of my grandpa because he was slowly starting to get sick. We had a lot of family problems at that time with our aunts and uncles and the house was a negative space. My grandma still never respected my mom and would go downstairs and snoop everywhere and give our snacks to my little cousins who came over literally everyday cause there moms didn't know how to handle a child lol. Basically when we were babies, not only did my mom take care of us but those ungrateful pieces of ships :). But still, no one will remember that and thank my mom. thats besides the point. My mom was obviously mentally exhausted and had depression and sometimes would say she wants to commit suicide. I was only 11 and took that to heart and would pray every night hoping that my family lives a long, happy life full of success and a healthy life. One day, we went to a reception party for my uncles wedding. Everyone went, it was a day to celebrate. Except my grandpa insisting he stays home, he said he wasn't feeling well. My dad stayed late at the party and I was all smiles looking at him happy, dancing with my mom. We went home but my dad stayed. I was the first to open the door (age 11). All I saw was my grandpa's feet not touching the floor. He had hung himself on the stair railing. My sister and I didn't know what to do and my baby sister (3) was crying and we had to take her downstairs. I don't know what happened after that. I just remember seeing my dad come in a little later—something i never want to witness again. He seemed so broken. During the funeral my grandma was crying and telling people how she was with her husband trying to get him down and that my mom wasn't doing anything. When in reality, my grandma went upstairs to change into something more comfortable and literally walked past her husband while my mom tried to get him off but he was very heavy. So basically went around gossiping bullshit. All I am trying to say is my grandpa had depression and my grandma always mistreated him and when he was alive, she always told him to stop complaining about his pain. Poor man. Lots of shit has happened. Another one that hurts me is that my grandma continues to lie that she threw away my older sister and my dolls when we were young because at the time my mom was pregnant. My grandpa wanted a grandson and believed dolls would only bring another girl. Basically this old woman is self-centred and loves herself and no one else. But she got her karma because once, she was exercising and fell on her back and its been almost five years and she is in pain and complains all the time and my aunt and her family don't treat her properly(shes healed but shes mentally made herself think shes still in a lot of pain. She doesn't understand that shes old and will not be fit like she used to. Thats what age does). They treat her HORRIBLY. thats all im going to say. My mom won't let her in. Nor will my dad's brothers wife. Basically no one wants my grandma because this ONE woman has made everyone's life miserable one way or another. She is really getting karma. Moral of the story, have respect and love for others <3.
Anyways, that was very long but thats not the main story. I need to talk about my life. I cannot remember much from when I was young. But growing up I remember my parents and uncles/aunts always calling me "kamli" (crazy) as a joke and at the time i would laugh and think nothing of it but growing up no one took me serious. It was just me and my older sister until I turned 9. My little sister came. My dad adored her, everyone did. I was somewhat forgotten. And the only time they remembered me was when I was in trouble. I have a diary actually and some things I have written in there are: "Since my little sister was born, my parents always yell at me and get angry at me." and also "I want to commit suicide..." I was shook reading this because I was only 12. So basically I have had such emotions for a very long time. My dad never raised a hand on any of my siblings, EVER. But me, I got a lot of it. It crossed the line a couple of times but mostly got slapped. It became normal for me. I would honestly just laugh it off or pretend to not be hurt by it and just stand there emotionless. I have never had a good relationship with my mom and its complicated to explain because these things that triggered it were small events in my life so I cannot remember. But we would fight, not talk for weeks and then I always said sorry and then things would go back to normal. I was a hyper, energetic kid. That is still my personality. It is extremely different from my siblings. They saying I have an annoying personality. I feel like I had minor ADHD or what I am trying to say is, it wasn't in my control but the excitement of absolutely nothing would take over me. I couldn't read situations and that caused trouble. Over my teenage years and even childhood I was heavily involved in sports, basically everyone except my mom. Life was busy. Elementary years I would get in trouble a lot for arguing with the boys in my class so my parents never had high expectations of me and honestly were never strict with me in that sense. Now lets fast forward to high school. You would think as an indian parents would be strict on your studies now, but naaahh. I got away with basically all my years with decent grades and they wouldn't ask me. All the attention was on my older sister and on adoring little sister. So, since I had so much freedom I would just watch anime and just day dream and draw cartoons. In grade 9 midway I failed math but my mom got mad so I stepped it up and ended with a B—the only time I kind of got yelled at for a bad grade. Then came the other years. In grade 10/11 more fights with family and I would just go into my room and punch my head attempting to hurt myself. I would cry almost everyday. I was depressed. Grade 12 my best friend at the time and I got closer because of boy talk ahahah. She slit her wrists and ended up in the hospital and ever since then, I stayed up until 2am talking to her always being there for her and listening to her. She was a smart student. Anyways, applying for school with such shitty grades I was in a negative space especially getting yelled at constantly. I would call her for help or more like just to get it off my shoulders but she was never there for me. Always had an excuse saying she was busy. I tried to cut my wrist with a sharp butter knife but it was never sharp enough so I ended up crying until I couldn't anymore. My mom and I fought a lot during this time and when she would scream at me, it hurt . On top of that, my dad yelled on the daily for the smallest things—such as my room needs to be cleaned. The same best friend at the time, in 2019 april made a dating account for me and I was fascinated. Started talking to boys and felt important. Wasted my life on it and in summer I got this huge phone bill that my parents payed for cause I don't work. And oh man oh man was I going to get disowned but got another chance at life b/c of my mom. But never did my dad trust me. University now started and I finally had freedom. Didn't really do anything except make out once and talk to this boy from my friend group who I caught feelings for and he was SUPER helpful and gave such good life advice and we got closer. He sexually assaulted me though but before winter break he apologized so many times that I forgave him. And after that, we "dated" right when we got back—first week we were sexually active going from one thing to another (everything except sex since he was a "good" christian) but did all that and only talked to me at night and second week he said we should start to focus on studies and see each other less and would barely talk or text me and started becoming cold everytime we met and honestly treated me like shit. Febuary 14 he said come over since we were still a thing so I did and was so happy. He said sorry he was so busy but he was still acting cold. He never hugged my once that night. The next day at night we broke up. Slowly after a few months I got over it. I healed and mentally in a better place. Corona happened and the whole family was back together. Life was normal and somewhat didn't mind being home but I am writing this because even though i say that. I write everything in a diary whenever I am sad. I havent talked to my mom in almost two months. My dad...he yells at me too much. My younger sister tells me she doesn't understand why he treats me so differently. I know I am rebellious but I feel suffocated at home. I don't feel loved and no one understands me. I try to have conversations with my parents but they just cannot understand where I am coming from. The other day my little sister made my little brother cry and I was standing a few steps away from them. My dad came stomping in and yelled at me as if I had murdered someone and then my little sister stepped in front saying it was her. And he was like "oh" and said "not like it hurts you" in a jokingly way to me. Even if I am scarmbling eggs peacefully in the morning, he comes and stands beside me telling me i am doing it wrong and if I question "how" he gets mad and says "is this the way you talk to your parents? I am going to stop paying for you". And I also control my tone of voice because I used to get mad but I try to talk emotionlessly but it still somehow pisses them off. I want to just kill myself honestly. I cannot tell you how emotionally drained I am. I know in a few years I will have a job and can leave the house but I want their love and affection. But I don't know how I can stay patient for and just let them treat my like this. My mom hates how I am always laughing and sometimes thinks I am provoking her by intentionally doing it which is part of the reason we had an arguement two months ago. She said that day "How would you react if your father slapped you hard across the face?" out of nowhere on the dinner table. Apparently my sister said that same evening my mom wanted us to stay quiet as she was sleeping but I was laughing and she thought I was doing it on purpose. I had no idea. You may think I am making a big deal out of a small thing. But I cannot tell you how many times these small things add up over time. These things hurt and it builds up and I don't know what to do. I am useless...I am a disappointment, rebellious, not trustworthy and not financially stable. My mom stopped making food for me and I am losing a lot of weight and try to make whatever I can. School has started so have sports and this is mentally and physically taking a huge toll on my body. I am lonely and and nothing I can do about it. This is all I could think on the top of my head but i apologize for not going into proper detail. Its all blurry and emotions are all over the place. I can't think.
submitted by HopefulDrEamur to whatsbotheringyou [link] [comments]


2020.09.22 07:25 HopefulDrEamur Someone help me get my life together. How do I get my parents to love and understand me. Is mental health even a think for brown parents lol? I can't take this anymore :(( Its too painful

Hey all,
I apologize in advance for this crazy long post but please do read it all if you have the time. Thank you.
I am a second year south asian (female) uni student. Now, where do I begin? It is hard to go into depth but I will try to cover as much as I can think of on the top of my head. I don't know if I can get a therapist at the moment but I need help, thats for sure.
Lets start with my backstory:
I am the middle one of four siblings, an older sister 21, a. younger sister 11, and a younger brother 4 and my mom and dad. My mom had an arranged marriage at 20 and got married a week later but thats besides the point. Lets just say, she didn't have the best of luck. My grandma treated my mom like trash—basically a bully, a scary women. My mother who was surrounded by love now at such a young age was put into such a situation where she had to keep it in and deal with this. My dad was there for my mom and would stand up for her but he was gone to work most of the day. The moved to Canada a year after their marriage so it was basically my mom and no one she could talk to and didn't want her parents to worry. My dad has very short temper so she didn't like when he yelled at my grandma but my dad IS A REALLY honest, good guy but he's just uuuhhh not helpful if you know what I mean. From '96 to 2012 but my mom dealt with this bullshit not just with my grandma but my aunt as well who has no reason to say anything but she would come into our house cause she had a spare key and would always say bs to my mom. I cannot go into full details into what kinds of things she said since I was young myself. My mom would go to work then come home and feed everybody and repeat over and over again. So what I am trying to say is, my mom had a very difficult life after she got married. My dad is someone i look up to and want to be one day. He is one of a kind. The only one working and providing for all of us and still makes SO much time to hang out with us. I seriously appreciate EVERYTHING he has done for us. My siblings, well not much to say about them they are just dope and we are all close regardless of our age range.
The reason why I told all that even though it doesn't necessarily have anything to do with me is because it kind of shows the environment we grew up in. Now lets go back in time, its 2012, my grandpa was still alive. This was the year my mom decided she had enough of this crap even though she ran away once or twice but came back the day after. But anyways, she decided that she was going to live in our house's basement and my older sister, little sister and I also went downstairs in the basement. My dad stayed upstairs just to take care of my grandpa because he was slowly starting to get sick. We had a lot of family problems at that time with our aunts and uncles and the house was a negative space. My grandma still never respected my mom and would go downstairs and snoop everywhere and give our snacks to my little cousins who came over literally everyday cause there moms didn't know how to handle a child lol. Basically when we were babies, not only did my mom take care of us but those ungrateful pieces of ships :). But still, no one will remember that and thank my mom. thats besides the point. My mom was obviously mentally exhausted and had depression and sometimes would say she wants to commit suicide. I was only 11 and took that to heart and would pray every night hoping that my family lives a long, happy life full of success and a healthy life. One day, we went to a reception party for my uncles wedding. Everyone went, it was a day to celebrate. Except my grandpa insisting he stays home, he said he wasn't feeling well. My dad stayed late at the party and I was all smiles looking at him happy, dancing with my mom. We went home but my dad stayed. I was the first to open the door (age 11). All I saw was my grandpa's feet not touching the floor. He had hung himself on the stair railing. My sister and I didn't know what to do and my baby sister (3) was crying and we had to take her downstairs. I don't know what happened after that. I just remember seeing my dad come in a little later—something i never want to witness again. He seemed so broken. During the funeral my grandma was crying and telling people how she was with her husband trying to get him down and that my mom wasn't doing anything. When in reality, my grandma went upstairs to change into something more comfortable and literally walked past her husband while my mom tried to get him off but he was very heavy. So basically went around gossiping bullshit. All I am trying to say is my grandpa had depression and my grandma always mistreated him and when he was alive, she always told him to stop complaining about his pain. Poor man. Lots of shit has happened. Another one that hurts me is that my grandma continues to lie that she threw away my older sister and my dolls when we were young because at the time my mom was pregnant. My grandpa wanted a grandson and believed dolls would only bring another girl. Basically this old woman is self-centred and loves herself and no one else. But she got her karma because once, she was exercising and fell on her back and its been almost five years and she is in pain and complains all the time and my aunt and her family don't treat her properly(shes healed but shes mentally made herself think shes still in a lot of pain. She doesn't understand that shes old and will not be fit like she used to. Thats what age does). They treat her HORRIBLY. thats all im going to say. My mom won't let her in. Nor will my dad's brothers wife. Basically no one wants my grandma because this ONE woman has made everyone's life miserable one way or another. She is really getting karma. Moral of the story, have respect and love for others <3.
Anyways, that was very long but thats not the main story. I need to talk about my life. I cannot remember much from when I was young. But growing up I remember my parents and uncles/aunts always calling me "kamli" (crazy) as a joke and at the time i would laugh and think nothing of it but growing up no one took me serious. It was just me and my older sister until I turned 9. My little sister came. My dad adored her, everyone did. I was somewhat forgotten. And the only time they remembered me was when I was in trouble. I have a diary actually and some things I have written in there are: "Since my little sister was born, my parents always yell at me and get angry at me." and also "I want to commit suicide..." I was shook reading this because I was only 12. So basically I have had such emotions for a very long time. My dad never raised a hand on any of my siblings, EVER. But me, I got a lot of it. It crossed the line a couple of times but mostly got slapped. It became normal for me. I would honestly just laugh it off or pretend to not be hurt by it and just stand there emotionless. I have never had a good relationship with my mom and its complicated to explain because these things that triggered it were small events in my life so I cannot remember. But we would fight, not talk for weeks and then I always said sorry and then things would go back to normal. I was a hyper, energetic kid. That is still my personality. It is extremely different from my siblings. They saying I have an annoying personality. I feel like I had minor ADHD or what I am trying to say is, it wasn't in my control but the excitement of absolutely nothing would take over me. I couldn't read situations and that caused trouble. Over my teenage years and even childhood I was heavily involved in sports, basically everyone except my mom. Life was busy. Elementary years I would get in trouble a lot for arguing with the boys in my class so my parents never had high expectations of me and honestly were never strict with me in that sense. Now lets fast forward to high school. You would think as an indian parents would be strict on your studies now, but naaahh. I got away with basically all my years with decent grades and they wouldn't ask me. All the attention was on my older sister and on adoring little sister. So, since I had so much freedom I would just watch anime and just day dream and draw cartoons. In grade 9 midway I failed math but my mom got mad so I stepped it up and ended with a B—the only time I kind of got yelled at for a bad grade. Then came the other years. In grade 10/11 more fights with family and I would just go into my room and punch my head attempting to hurt myself. I would cry almost everyday. I was depressed. Grade 12 my best friend at the time and I got closer because of boy talk ahahah. She slit her wrists and ended up in the hospital and ever since then, I stayed up until 2am talking to her always being there for her and listening to her. She was a smart student. Anyways, applying for school with such shitty grades I was in a negative space especially getting yelled at constantly. I would call her for help or more like just to get it off my shoulders but she was never there for me. Always had an excuse saying she was busy. I tried to cut my wrist with a sharp butter knife but it was never sharp enough so I ended up crying until I couldn't anymore. My mom and I fought a lot during this time and when she would scream at me, it hurt . On top of that, my dad yelled on the daily for the smallest things—such as my room needs to be cleaned. The same best friend at the time, in 2019 april made a dating account for me and I was fascinated. Started talking to boys and felt important. Wasted my life on it and in summer I got this huge phone bill that my parents payed for cause I don't work. And oh man oh man was I going to get disowned but got another chance at life b/c of my mom. But never did my dad trust me. University now started and I finally had freedom. Didn't really do anything except make out once and talk to this boy from my friend group who I caught feelings for and he was SUPER helpful and gave such good life advice and we got closer. He sexually assaulted me though but before winter break he apologized so many times that I forgave him. And after that, we "dated" right when we got back—first week we were sexually active going from one thing to another (everything except sex since he was a "good" christian) but did all that and only talked to me at night and second week he said we should start to focus on studies and see each other less and would barely talk or text me and started becoming cold everytime we met and honestly treated me like shit. Febuary 14 he said come over since we were still a thing so I did and was so happy. He said sorry he was so busy but he was still acting cold. He never hugged my once that night. The next day at night we broke up. Slowly after a few months I got over it. I healed and mentally in a better place. Corona happened and the whole family was back together. Life was normal and somewhat didn't mind being home but I am writing this because even though i say that. I write everything in a diary whenever I am sad. I havent talked to my mom in almost two months. My dad...he yells at me too much. My younger sister tells me she doesn't understand why he treats me so differently. I know I am rebellious but I feel suffocated at home. I don't feel loved and no one understands me. I try to have conversations with my parents but they just cannot understand where I am coming from. The other day my little sister made my little brother cry and I was standing a few steps away from them. My dad came stomping in and yelled at me as if I had murdered someone and then my little sister stepped in front saying it was her. And he was like "oh" and said "not like it hurts you" in a jokingly way to me. Even if I am scarmbling eggs peacefully in the morning, he comes and stands beside me telling me i am doing it wrong and if I question "how" he gets mad and says "is this the way you talk to your parents? I am going to stop paying for you". And I also control my tone of voice because I used to get mad but I try to talk emotionlessly but it still somehow pisses them off. I want to just kill myself honestly. I cannot tell you how emotionally drained I am. I know in a few years I will have a job and can leave the house but I want their love and affection. But I don't know how I can stay patient for and just let them treat my like this. My mom hates how I am always laughing and sometimes thinks I am provoking her by intentionally doing it which is part of the reason we had an arguement two months ago. She said that day "How would you react if your father slapped you hard across the face?" out of nowhere on the dinner table. Apparently my sister said that same evening my mom wanted us to stay quiet as she was sleeping but I was laughing and she thought I was doing it on purpose. I had no idea. You may think I am making a big deal out of a small thing. But I cannot tell you how many times these small things add up over time. These things hurt and it builds up and I don't know what to do. I am useless...I am a disappointment, rebellious, not trustworthy and not financially stable. My mom stopped making food for me and I am losing a lot of weight and try to make whatever I can. School has started so have sports and this is mentally and physically taking a huge toll on my body. I am lonely and and nothing I can do about it. This is all I could think on the top of my head but i apologize for not going into proper detail. Its all blurry and emotions are all over the place. I can't think.
submitted by HopefulDrEamur to family [link] [comments]


2020.09.22 06:05 ThrowRAbluesoul Unsure about whether I (22M) should continue my relationship of 3 years with my SO (22F) because of issues with mental health, sex, and general differences

Recently, I've been stuck between a very rough decision on what I want to do with my current relationship. This girl, Laura, and I have been dating for about 3 and half years. She lives in the city and I live in the suburbs about an hour or so away. We try to see each other as much as possible, but we both work fulltime so we get limited time together on weekends and some days off. The relationship has been smooth up until this past year and a half or so. We met in college at about 19 and shared a good amount in common, eventually leading to us going out after hanging out for a bit. Things were intimate, we liked to be around each other, and everything was generally great in the beginning.
A couple months in, she told me that she suffers from mental health issues and provided the option for me to leave if that bothered me. It showed during the first months of our relationship where she would cry herself to sleep at night and I would hold her. I didn't question it much as she had lost her father a year or so back at the time, so some pent up emotions made sense to me. I decided this would be okay as many of my close friends struggle with their own mental health issues and I see no qualms in being there for someone for better or worse, especially when they're willing to acknowledge it and plan to work towards feeling better. However, these mental health issues began to progress further and further into darker territories than I expected. Originally I was not provided specifics as to what exactly was going on, which was okay as I did not want to pressure her into talking about anything she found uncomfortable. Some problematic coping mechanisms showed themselves over time and the symptoms became more apparent. She would hurt herself, act generally nihilistic towards herself and others, and would suffer from various unhealthy habits. We talked about her getting help, but she made it very clear that she is staunchly against therapy and does not like the idea of having to take medication every day just to be what society deems "normal." While I can understand the sentiment, this is something that gravely affects her own life and mine as well given how severe and prevalent these issues are. Her reasoning for not wanting therapy she says is that she does not want anyone to know her personal life and that anyone knowing is a violation of her privacy, with the exception of her telling me her problems. Even grievances I've made to my parents about cleaning habits have been met with anger from her if that puts it into perspective.
I have constantly supported the idea of looking for help for her mental health issues, even offering to pay. She has opened up further to the idea, but she was not able to get help previously due to familial reasons, insurance, and circumstantial issues. Now that the pandemic is in full swing, she is unable to find a doctor in her area that will see her or provide any sort of online support. Along with this, I'm generally uneducated in the process to look for and get help for someone in this situation. I've tried my best to research, but from the information she's given me about how the doctors in her area aren't willing to see new patients, it make sit difficult to get a recommendation to a psychiatrist or someone who could generally help her that would be covered or somewhat covered by her insurance. While I do want her to get help and I do want to see her be okay, this has been grating on me and my own emotional state. I try to help her and be there for her while respecting her boundaries, but it feels more and more like I've morphed into this amalgamation of a boyfriend and a caretaker. And as such, my own mental health has deteriorated, no thanks to everything else going on as well. I've managed to keep a generally positive attitude during it all, but it's been difficult on myself. It make sme feel genuinely selfish to see an issue like this where she's in pain and make it about me, but it doesn't help that it feels so unbalanced.
To add to the situation, sex between us has been slowly diminishing over the past year and a half. I asked Laura about this and she said that she just did not care much for sex, cuddling, or intimacy. She even went as far as to say that there are some days where she feels "gross in her own skin" and that it feels incredibly uncomfortable to be touched by people when she does feel like this. She does like to have sex, but not as frequently and rarely ever feels the need to explore the sexual side of our relationship. She made it clear that she felt we were having sex too much beforehand and wanted to slow it down, but that it has only continued to decline. Before we had sex every time we saw each other, at least once a week on the weekends. Now, however, it has gone down to about 2 times over the past 6-8 months when we've seen each other a good amount of weekends. She's unsure as to whether it may be caused by her mental health issues, but she has also made it clear that sex is just not something she sees as important in a relationship. I confronted her on this issue along with her mental health and told her that I would never give her a due date to try to work on these issues, but that if things did not change that I could not promise that I would be happy in the relationship and that I would most likely opt to end it.
Along with the mental health and sex issues, it's become more and more apparent that the things we once held in common have slowly gone as well. For example, she tends to be very outspoken and opinionated while I am laid back and nonchalant. This used to work in our favor where she always chose food or would have some genuinely interesting takes on things. However, now it extends to everything. Movies, shows, games, the things I love to do, etc. always feels as though they're under constant scrutiny. For example, I tried showing her some Studio Ghibli films because they happen to be some of my favorite movies and they shaped a lot of my childhood. Immediately before watching them, her mind had already been made up about some of the films. Howl's Moving Castle was considered stupid, the artstyle looked atrocious, the stories didn't make sense; you get the idea. This extends to everything. She dislikes video games entirely (a hobby of which I enjoy quite a lot), hates a lot of new technology, and is generally just mean spirited towards things she dislikes. One of the main things we bonded over upon meeting each other was the Marvel Cinematic Universe. She loved it and so do I, but as things continued, she's slowly begun to dislike more and more of the newer movies which is fine, but considering this was something we used to share and enjoy together, it hurts to see that change and have nothing to replace it.
Of the many big differences we have, the most concerning one is that our religious ideologies don't exactly line up. While I would describe myself as someone who is more agnostic or atheist but likes to learn about all types of religion, she is staunchly Christian and very old school. The thing that struck me the most was hearing from her that she does not believe in evolution. As someone who studied sciences for my degree and has worked my life living by science, it feels almost unreal to see someone I know and love just disregard it for the sake of their beliefs. While I do understand why in some ways, it's a very hard concept for me to grasp without seeing this as a glaring difference between us. Having different religions I think is okay and letting people learn about them is fine, but it feels to me like an extreme notion to overlook science.
While I have said all these negative things, I'd like to leave it on a positive note. This girl is an incredible person and has been there for me through a lot. I still love her and even if the relationship doesn't work, I very much see us remaining friends. She has been my rock through a lot and she does genuinely love me. The point is she really tries and while I understand that these are some big differences, this is not an issue I'm am trying to take lightly.
Now I'm unsure whether to stay with her because of all this. She's slowly lost interest in the things we enjoyed together, I'm overall unhappy, and there just seems to be no happy medium anymore. I've given my best in the relationship and I'm wary to leave because even now there are so many good moments where we go out and have fun, and it's genuinely comforting to have a person who loves you so wholeheartedly be by your side. But I do see that this seems to be heading in a bad direction for both of us. So, does it seem like it would be a good idea to work on the relationship or do our best to try to find new people? Any advice would be incredibly appreciated!
TL;DR: My GF and I have been growing apart because of issues with her mental health, lack of intimacy, and general differences. I'm unsure whether to stay and work on us or leave for us to both find better people.
submitted by ThrowRAbluesoul to relationship_advice [link] [comments]


2020.09.22 03:28 HopefulDrEamur Someone help me get my life together. How do I get my parents to love and understand me. Is mental health even a think for brown parents lol? I can't take this anymore :(( Its too painful

Hey all,
I apologize in advance for this crazy long post but please do read it all if you have the time. Thank you.
I am a second year south asian (female) uni student. Now, where do I begin? It is hard to go into depth but I will try to cover as much as I can think of on the top of my head. I don't know if I can get a therapist at the moment but I need help, thats for sure.
Lets start with my backstory:
I am the middle one of four siblings, an older sister 21, a. younger sister 11, and a younger brother 4 and my mom and dad. My mom had an arranged marriage at 20 and got married a week later but thats besides the point. Lets just say, she didn't have the best of luck. My grandma treated my mom like trash—basically a bully, a scary women. My mother who was surrounded by love now at such a young age was put into such a situation where she had to keep it in and deal with this. My dad was there for my mom and would stand up for her but he was gone to work most of the day. The moved to Canada a year after their marriage so it was basically my mom and no one she could talk to and didn't want her parents to worry. My dad has very short temper so she didn't like when he yelled at my grandma but my dad IS A REALLY honest, good guy but he's just uuuhhh not helpful if you know what I mean. From '96 to 2012 but my mom dealt with this bullshit not just with my grandma but my aunt as well who has no reason to say anything but she would come into our house cause she had a spare key and would always say bs to my mom. I cannot go into full details into what kinds of things she said since I was young myself. My mom would go to work then come home and feed everybody and repeat over and over again. So what I am trying to say is, my mom had a very difficult life after she got married. My dad is someone i look up to and want to be one day. He is one of a kind. The only one working and providing for all of us and still makes SO much time to hang out with us. I seriously appreciate EVERYTHING he has done for us. My siblings, well not much to say about them they are just dope and we are all close regardless of our age range.

The reason why I told all that even though it doesn't necessarily have anything to do with me is because it kind of shows the environment we grew up in. Now lets go back in time, its 2012, my grandpa was still alive. This was the year my mom decided she had enough of this crap even though she ran away once or twice but came back the day after. But anyways, she decided that she was going to live in our house's basement and my older sister, little sister and I also went downstairs in the basement. My dad stayed upstairs just to take care of my grandpa because he was slowly starting to get sick. We had a lot of family problems at that time with our aunts and uncles and the house was a negative space. My grandma still never respected my mom and would go downstairs and snoop everywhere and give our snacks to my little cousins who came over literally everyday cause there moms didn't know how to handle a child lol. Basically when we were babies, not only did my mom take care of us but those ungrateful pieces of ships :). But still, no one will remember that and thank my mom. thats besides the point. My mom was obviously mentally exhausted and had depression and sometimes would say she wants to commit suicide. I was only 11 and took that to heart and would pray every night hoping that my family lives a long, happy life full of success and a healthy life. One day, we went to a reception party for my uncles wedding. Everyone went, it was a day to celebrate. Except my grandpa insisting he stays home, he said he wasn't feeling well. My dad stayed late at the party and I was all smiles looking at him happy, dancing with my mom. We went home but my dad stayed. I was the first to open the door (age 11). All I saw was my grandpa's feet not touching the floor. He had hung himself on the stair railing. My sister and I didn't know what to do and my baby sister (3) was crying and we had to take her downstairs. I don't know what happened after that. I just remember seeing my dad come in a little later—something i never want to witness again. He seemed so broken. During the funeral my grandma was crying and telling people how she was with her husband trying to get him down and that my mom wasn't doing anything. When in reality, my grandma went upstairs to change into something more comfortable and literally walked past her husband while my mom tried to get him off but he was very heavy. So basically went around gossiping bullshit. All I am trying to say is my grandpa had depression and my grandma always mistreated him and when he was alive, she always told him to stop complaining about his pain. Poor man. Lots of shit has happened. Another one that hurts me is that my grandma continues to lie that she threw away my older sister and my dolls when we were young because at the time my mom was pregnant. My grandpa wanted a grandson and believed dolls would only bring another girl. Basically this old woman is self-centred and loves herself and no one else. But she got her karma because once, she was exercising and fell on her back and its been almost five years and she is in pain and complains all the time and my aunt and her family don't treat her properly(shes healed but shes mentally made herself think shes still in a lot of pain. She doesn't understand that shes old and will not be fit like she used to. Thats what age does). They treat her HORRIBLY. thats all im going to say. My mom won't let her in. Nor will my dad's brothers wife. Basically no one wants my grandma because this ONE woman has made everyone's life miserable one way or another. She is really getting karma. Moral of the story, have respect and love for others <3.
Anyways, that was very long but thats not the main story. I need to talk about my life. I cannot remember much from when I was young. But growing up I remember my parents and uncles/aunts always calling me "kamli" (crazy) as a joke and at the time i would laugh and think nothing of it but growing up no one took me serious. It was just me and my older sister until I turned 9. My little sister came. My dad adored her, everyone did. I was somewhat forgotten. And the only time they remembered me was when I was in trouble. I have a diary actually and some things I have written in there are: "Since my little sister was born, my parents always yell at me and get angry at me." and also "I want to commit suicide..." I was shook reading this because I was only 12. So basically I have had such emotions for a very long time. My dad never raised a hand on any of my siblings, EVER. But me, I got a lot of it. It crossed the line a couple of times but mostly got slapped. It became normal for me. I would honestly just laugh it off or pretend to not be hurt by it and just stand there emotionless. I have never had a good relationship with my mom and its complicated to explain because these things that triggered it were small events in my life so I cannot remember. But we would fight, not talk for weeks and then I always said sorry and then things would go back to normal. I was a hyper, energetic kid. That is still my personality. It is extremely different from my siblings. They saying I have an annoying personality. I feel like I had minor ADHD or what I am trying to say is, it wasn't in my control but the excitement of absolutely nothing would take over me. I couldn't read situations and that caused trouble. Over my teenage years and even childhood I was heavily involved in sports, basically everyone except my mom. Life was busy. Elementary years I would get in trouble a lot for arguing with the boys in my class so my parents never had high expectations of me and honestly were never strict with me in that sense. Now lets fast forward to high school. You would think as an indian parents would be strict on your studies now, but naaahh. I got away with basically all my years with decent grades and they wouldn't ask me. All the attention was on my older sister and on adoring little sister. So, since I had so much freedom I would just watch anime and just day dream and draw cartoons. In grade 9 midway I failed math but my mom got mad so I stepped it up and ended with a B—the only time I kind of got yelled at for a bad grade. Then came the other years. In grade 10/11 more fights with family and I would just go into my room and punch my head attempting to hurt myself. I would cry almost everyday. I was depressed. Grade 12 my best friend at the time and I got closer because of boy talk ahahah. She slit her wrists and ended up in the hospital and ever since then, I stayed up until 2am talking to her always being there for her and listening to her. She was a smart student. Anyways, applying for school with such shitty grades I was in a negative space especially getting yelled at constantly. I would call her for help or more like just to get it off my shoulders but she was never there for me. Always had an excuse saying she was busy. I tried to cut my wrist with a sharp butter knife but it was never sharp enough so I ended up crying until I couldn't anymore. My mom and I fought a lot during this time and when she would scream at me, it hurt . On top of that, my dad yelled on the daily for the smallest things—such as my room needs to be cleaned. The same best friend at the time, in 2019 april made a dating account for me and I was fascinated. Started talking to boys and felt important. Wasted my life on it and in summer I got this huge phone bill that my parents payed for cause I don't work. And oh man oh man was I going to get disowned but got another chance at life b/c of my mom. But never did my dad trust me. University now started and I finally had freedom. Didn't really do anything except make out once and talk to this boy from my friend group who I caught feelings for and he was SUPER helpful and gave such good life advice and we got closer. He sexually assaulted me though but before winter break he apologized so many times that I forgave him. And after that, we "dated" right when we got back—first week we were sexually active going from one thing to another (everything except sex since he was a "good" christian) but did all that and only talked to me at night and second week he said we should start to focus on studies and see each other less and would barely talk or text me and started becoming cold everytime we met and honestly treated me like shit. Febuary 14 he said come over since we were still a thing so I did and was so happy. He said sorry he was so busy but he was still acting cold. He never hugged my once that night. The next day at night we broke up. Slowly after a few months I got over it. I healed and mentally in a better place. Corona happened and the whole family was back together. Life was normal and somewhat didn't mind being home but I am writing this because even though i say that. I write everything in a diary whenever I am sad. I havent talked to my mom in almost two months. My dad...he yells at me too much. My younger sister tells me she doesn't understand why he treats me so differently. I know I am rebellious but I feel suffocated at home. I don't feel loved and no one understands me. I try to have conversations with my parents but they just cannot understand where I am coming from. The other day my little sister made my little brother cry and I was standing a few steps away from them. My dad came stomping in and yelled at me as if I had murdered someone and then my little sister stepped in front saying it was her. And he was like "oh" and said "not like it hurts you" in a jokingly way to me. Even if I am scarmbling eggs peacefully in the morning, he comes and stands beside me telling me i am doing it wrong and if I question "how" he gets mad and says "is this the way you talk to your parents? I am going to stop paying for you". And I also control my tone of voice because I used to get mad but I try to talk emotionlessly but it still somehow pisses them off. I want to just kill myself honestly. I cannot tell you how emotionally drained I am. I know in a few years I will have a job and can leave the house but I want their love and affection. But I don't know how I can stay patient for and just let them treat my like this. My mom hates how I am always laughing and sometimes thinks I am provoking her by intentionally doing it which is part of the reason we had an arguement two months ago. She said that day "How would you react if your father slapped you hard across the face?" out of nowhere on the dinner table. Apparently my sister said that same evening my mom wanted us to stay quiet as she was sleeping but I was laughing and she thought I was doing it on purpose. I had no idea. You may think I am making a big deal out of a small thing. But I cannot tell you how many times these small things add up over time. These things hurt and it builds up and I don't know what to do. I am useless...I am a disappointment, rebellious, not trustworthy and not financially stable. My mom stopped making food for me and I am losing a lot of weight and try to make whatever I can. School has started so have sports and this is mentally and physically taking a huge toll on my body. I am lonely and and nothing I can do about it. This is all I could think on the top of my head but i apologize for not going into proper detail. Its all blurry and emotions are all over the place. I can't think.
submitted by HopefulDrEamur to AsianParentStories [link] [comments]


2020.09.22 00:00 its_my_36th_account Good writeup on the Hinduphobia promoted by State of California.

The California Department of Fair Employment and Housing (CDFEH) is the latest player in a series of negative actions being perpetrated by the State of California against a minority Hindu population in the state. Hindu Americans in California are overwhelmingly productive and lawful contributors to the state’s economy in a variety of industries and capacities, but yet they have unfortunately been singled out and targeted because of their religious beliefs through a barrage of negativity and hatefulness by various agencies and government officials within the State of California.
A state’s oppression of a minority community on the basis of their beliefs adversely impacts not only the Hindu American, as in this case, but also all Americans that believe in democratic values. The use of power to oppress is not only unlawful and unethical, but it is also a clear abuse of the processes laid out in the US Constitution by our founding fathers.
In a recently filed lawsuit by California Department of Fair Employment and Housing (CDFEH) against Cisco Systems (case number 5:20-cv-04374) under the pretext of discrimination of a Hindu ‘Dalit’ by other fellow Hindus, the complaint contains slurs against Hindu Americans while making false allegations about Hinduism, the religion followed by over 1.3 billion people world wide. This unfortunate approach by a government agency towards Hindus should not be judged in isolation. Instead, it is indicative of greater systemic discrimination being exhibited by the state’s governmental entities against a minority community. Below are simply a few recent examples of California’s rampant Hinduphobia.
CALIFORNIA TEXTBOOKS UNFAIRLY DEPICT HINDUISM NEGATIVELY RELATIVE TO ALL OTHER RELIGIONS
Over the past decade, there have been many instances of blatant discrimination against Hindus. For example, until recently, California textbooks have been blatantly unfair to Hindus in their description of Hinduism as a religion. Whereas words like ethics and moral teachings, unselfishness, compassion, righteousness, peace, love, law and justice are used for all other major religions including Christianity, Judaism, Islam, and Buddhism, none of these words were used to describe Hinduism in school textbooks. Whereas Christianity from Judaism and Islam from Christianity are depicted as distinct religions that share common beliefs and history, Buddhism and Jainism are described as improvements or “civilizing forces” from Hinduism. In 2017, prominent Hindu organizations like the Hindu American Foundation and the Hindu Education Foundation worked hard to convince the California Department of Education of the need for basic fairness in their depiction of Hinduism. Comparing the strengths of a few groups with the weakness of another violates every rule of basic decency and fairness, and yet, based on a press release on the Hindu American Foundation website, it took “a broad coalition of more than 75 interfaith and community groups, 17 state and federal officials, and 38 leading academics” to convince the California agency to portray Hinduism in a fair and balanced manner compared to the portrayal of all other religions discussed. To make matters worse, the Hindu children and their parents that patiently went through the process to share their feelings and thoughts with the CA Department of Education, were viciously attacked by the Director of the anti-India and anti-Hindu organization Equality Labs Thenmozhi Soundarajan. This group used abusive remarks towards Dalits and Hindus, while pretending to be the ‘savior’ of Dalits.
CA Department of Education has been at the core of Hinduphobic textbook curriculum for decades. Tom Adams, former Deputy Superintendent of Public Instruction was later accused of being involved in Hinduphobic malpractices by collaborating with anti-Hindu hate groups.
SAN FRANCISCO BOARD OF SUPERVISORS OPPOSES INDIA’S PROTECTION OF HINDU AND SIKH PERSECUTED MINORITIES
On July 22, 2020, the San Francisco Board of Supervisors (SFBOS) passed an ill-conceived, ill-researched resolution, to express their displeasure at the Government of India’s humanitarian efforts. In December 2019, the Indian Government had taken steps to help persecuted Hindus, Sikhs, Christians, Buddhists, and other minorities by passing an act called the Citizenship Amendment Act (CAA). In response, the SFBOS passed Resolution 200771 which stated that it opposed India’s exclusionary National Register of Citizens and Citizenship Amendment Act. This is outrageous considering the Indian Government till date has not even passed (nor even considered passing) a National Register of Citizens nor does the CAA preclude any person of any religion from applying for citizenship using the proper channels. In fact, the United States in 1990 had enacted similar legislation called the “Lautenberg Amendment” which does the same thing; it expedited citizenship for certain persecuted religious minorities from the former Soviet Union. The US’ Lautenberg Amendment and India’s Citizenship Amendment Act were humanitarian gestures by secular democracies to protect minorities that were being badly hurt, tortured, or killed in their native countries. It is disgraceful that the SFBOS didn’t bother to do any due diligence prior to collectively wasting taxpayer money and passing this insulting and offensive resolution.
Instead, Supervisor Gordon Mar, the former Director of the Chinese Progressive Association and the main sponsor of this resolution, stated the following before the vote:
“India’s Citizenship Amendment Act (CAA), the National Register of Citizens (NRC), and the National Population Register (NPR) is rooted in the far-right Hindu nationalist ideology of the Modi/Shah regime in his Bharatiya Janata Party (BJP). Together they lay the legal foundation to denaturalize millions of Indian minorities to create the largest network of concentration camps in the world. Since the act was passed last December, and especially during COVID, Muslims and other vulnerable communities, including Dalits, queers, and trans people, women, and the poor are being profiled and treated as second-class citizens and imprisoned in massive detention centers being built in India. Last August, the Indian government required 33 million people to prove their citizenship in the state of Assam, denaturalizing almost 2 million mostly Muslim Indians, rendering them stateless.” This statement is egregiously defamatory, blatantly false, irresponsible, and wrong on so many levels: the NPR and NCC have not even been discussed by the Indian parliament nor passed into law; the CAA does not discuss or affect the citizenship of any Indian citizen, including that of any Indian Muslim; there is no evidence of concentration camps being built across India; and the NRC that was conducted in Assam was done on the order of the Indian Supreme Court not on the orders of the BJP government.
Interestingly, Supervisor Mar then thanked the people who helped bring this resolution to the forefront, and among those, was Sharmin Hossain from Equality Labs.San Francisco Board of Supervisors (seen above) not only passed an anti humanitarian resolution on July 22, 2020, but also made false remarks about the largest democracy in the world
CA DEPARTMENT OF FAIR EMPLOYMENT AND HOUSING (CDFEH) MAKES INFLAMMATORY AND FALSE STATEMENTS AGAINST HINDUS AND HINDU TRADITIONS
And now we witness yet one more example of blatant Hinduphobia by a California governmental department. On June 30, 2020, the CDFEH filed a lawsuit against Cisco Systems on behalf of a Cisco employee alleging workplace discrimination on the basis of caste. While the discrimination issue itself is a matter for the courts, it’s appalling to witness that the complaint as-drafted is blatantly offensive to Hindus by openly linking casteism to the Hindu faith. This claim linking the two, which has been debunked by many scholars world-wide, is as offensive as linking slavery to the tenets of Christianity. And, to make matters worse, the entire case is seemingly predicated on the poor research, false statements and superficial articles that have originated from the same two-person anti-Hindu organization Equality Labs mentioned repeatedly above.
For example, the complaint prominently utilizes a 2018 Caste “Survey” conducted by Equality Labs that neither follows accepted standards nor norms of statistical surveys. The survey purports to find evidence of caste-based discrimination in the United States. However, it is interesting to note that there is no evidence that the survey was ever disseminated among any Hindu temples or mainstream Hindu organizations. The Hindu community at large seems to have been excluded from a survey that purports to measure discrimination in the Hindu community. The details of data collection or the process followed are surprisingly not even mentioned in this “survey”, but yet it was used by a California governmental entity to insult a major contributor to the Silicon Valley economy: the Hindu population.
To make matters worse, the complaint is replete with racist anti-immigrant statements against a minority community that has been facing a growing level of discrimination and hate crimes in this country. In fact, since 2015, the FBI has recorded about a 300% increase in anti-Hindu hate crimes annually. And yet, this CDFEH complaint makes general statements devoid of context with the effect of further igniting flames against this community. For instance, the complaint states that Cisco has a significant “over representation” of Asian employees compared to other companies in this field. This is a blatantly deceptive statement. Cisco is a tech company headquartered in the Bay Area; its industry and its location would naturally lead to a higher percentage of Asian employees. The inclusion of this statement is baffling; it clearly had no relevance to the issues of the complaint.
CONCLUSION
There are many other examples of anti-Hindu/anti-India behavior being orchestrated by the progressive organizations and governmental agencies across California in recent years. Hindu Americans are and have always been positive, productive contributors to their families, their companies, their societies, and to the country. They are one of the most highly educated demographics in the United States. And they are not usually the community to claim the victim status.
However, some patterns of unethical and harmful behavior become too blatant to ignore, and any American who cherishes the values of democracy would be foolish to do so. It is simply a matter of time before the propaganda machinations come for them too.
https://medium.com/@dyalade4/state-of-californias-rampant-hinduphobia-a70bf3b39d71
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2020.09.21 21:09 mr_tyler_durden Notes and Highlights of Kentucky Governor Andy Beshear’s Live Update September 21, 2020

Notes and Highlights of Kentucky Governor Andy Beshear’s Live Update September 21, 2020
Notes by mr_tyler_durden and Daily Update Team
Register for your Absentee Ballot here!
Watch here:
Headlines
Full Notes
(continued in stickied comment)
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2020.09.21 18:00 EmpireOfChairs Capstone for Part 3: Gravity's Rainbow

Hello, everybody! It’s finally time to leave the Zone!
Can you believe that you haven’t even gotten to the most difficult part of the novel yet?
Anyway, I’ve included a massive plot summary here, because the last capstone had one, but this is only for the benefit of new and future readers who are struggling to make sense of the plot threads, and it doesn’t contain any real analysis. If you feel like you understood the gist of what happened already, then feel free to skip it. I am hoping that this summary will elucidate this part of the novel for those who are having trouble following the narrative but still want the opportunity to come to their own conclusions about what it all means.
Throughout In the Zone, I found my real life suddenly full of random obstacles that meant that I couldn’t contribute to as many threads as I would have liked. I would read those other threads and find that things which had fascinated me were either being ignored wholesale or else (I felt) misinterpreted in the comments. As such, I would like to give my thoughts on them here and now, before we leave the Zone and the opportunity to discuss these things is lost.
However, because the plot of In the Zone is so damn long, I’ve decided to do things a little bit differently: I’m going to use this main thread for the summary, and then I’m going to write individual comments on the various parts of In the Zone which I think deserve more analysis before we move on to The Counterforce. The parts I will be analysing will be titled Bianca, Enzian, and The Castle, with associated page numbers based around the 902-page Vintage edition.
Plot Summary:
As you would imagine, I can’t put a lot of detail into a brief summary of what would, on its own, still represent a fairly long novel. I’d like to apologise in advance if I happen to miss anything important, story-wise.
In the Zone opens with Slothrop in his new secret identity as British journalist Ian Scuffling, travelling by train trough the remnants of post-war Germany, the Zone, where he shall remain for most of the book. He meets a racist, jingoistic military man named Major Duane Marvy, who is promptly thrown off the train by a mysterious African ‘rocket-trooper’ named Orbst Enzian. Wandering through the Zone, Slothrop encounters Geli Tripping, a witch with an owl who reveals herself to be the lover of a murderous Soviet cyborg named Tchitcherine, who is involved with finding the Schwarzgerät; a one-of-a-kind V-2 rocket. Having apparently escaped Them, finding out what happened to this rocket then becomes the primary goal of Slothrop – his new epic quest.
Slothrop attempts to infiltrate the Mittelwerke, a vast SS-shaped underground tunnel complex, used by the Nazis to create V-2 rockets using slave-labourers from the nearby Dora concentration camp. He finds the place invaded by Marvy’s army, and the Russians – who both decide to murder Slothrop for discovering what seems to be… an ongoing operation? After his escape, Slothrop finds himself escaping to Berlin via hot-air balloon, only to be hunted by Marvy’s boys once more, but luckily the balloon is filled with custard pies, which are then thrown into the engine of Marvy’s aircraft, presumably killing most of them.
We come to learn more about Enzian, who turns out to have lived previously as a sex-slave to Weissman, a high-ranking German officer who participated in the Herero genocide that wiped out Enzian’s family. As time progressed, Enzian became Weissman’s Monster – the sinister, black right-hand man during his master’s involvement with the development of the V-2 rocket and the mysterious Schwarzgerät. In the Zone, with Weissman’s disappearance, Enzian has taken on a new, commanding role as the leader of the Schwarzkommando – a paramilitary death-cult made up of members of the Erdschweinhöhle (the death-obsessed Herero-survivors scattered throughout various communities in Nordhausen), who have made it their goal to find the Schwarzgerät. He even gets his own right-hand man in the form of the radio-enthusiast Andreas Orukambe. Among the Schwarzkommando, however, there is disagreement – some, like Enzian, believe in the destiny of destruction promised by the Rocket, whilst others, such as Ombindi of the Empty Ones, wish to initiate their own form of ‘racial suicide’, which uses sexual deviancy to ensure a negative birth-rate, which is seen as a triumph of material pleasure over the European ideals of Christian asceticism and death-worship.
Because of his quest to discover the Schwarzgerät, he is by default the arch-nemesis of Tchitcherine. Tchitcherine, we find out, is the long-lost half-brother of Enzian, their father having had a steamy affair with a Herero girl whilst in the midst of deserting the Russo-Japanese War. He grows up into a high-ranking agent of the Leninist Soviet regime, being principally tasked with giving the native people of Kyrgyzstan a new language (the New Turkic Alphabet), which isn’t historically accurate, by the way. During an uprising against conscription in 1916, thousands of native Kazakhs were killed, in an event which Tchitcherine refers to as the Kirghiz Light, which loses him his cosy, bureaucratic job. He is haunted by this light, which he sees as an illumination, a transcendent moment in which he saw the force behind it all. Sent out to the Zone, Tchitcherine has quickly adopted the new role of Rocket-fanatic, believing (like Enzian) that there is a spiritual force to be revealed to him in the Schwarzgerät. He is not entirely sure why his superiors sent him to the Zone, but he is absolutely convinced that it somehow involves Enzian and the Schwarzkommando.
Back to Slothrop, who briefly runs into Enzian again, only to be told, rather ominously, that reality is not real. Enzian, indeed, seems to treat his existence as though they were all conjured into being by some director or writer-God, and that all they can do is follow a pre-determined path to His ending. Weird. Anyway, Slothrop then meets Säure Bummer, the coolest man in the Zone – a proto-hippie drug dealer and money-counterfeiter, who suggests that Slothrop take on the superhero identity of Rocketman (which he does) and then advises him to travel to a bar to meet a contact (Seaman Bodine, the foul-mouthed sailor) who will show Slothrop the way to the Schwarzgerät in exchange for picking up a massive shipment of marijuana – located in the centre of the Potsdam conference. He is then to return with the product, which will be given to an influential Zone personality called der Springer, who will know Slothrop is cool because Säure has given him a chess-piece (a white knight) with which to identify himself. With this potential reward, along with part of the score and one million fake marks, Slothrop decides to haul ass to the conference. He invents another disguise (Max Schelpzig, the name on the fake ID which brought him to Europe in the first place) and sets forth, first by taking a boat into the Russian sector and then running on foot through an Autobahn, jumping the barricade into Potsdam. He gets the dope eventually, after a few awkward encounters with politicians and a few epic stealth moves, and then returns to his boat, where he is then drugged and dragged away, unconscious. Turns out, Tchitcherine has been watching him the whole time, and has just drugged him with the truth-serum/LSD stand-in Sodium Amytal.). He then tries out a huge chunk of Slothrop’s product with his right-hand man, Dzaqyp Qulan, and dumps Slothrop in an abandoned film studio. Waking up, Slothrop encounters Greta Erdmann, a pre-war pornographic actress, who is searching the studio in the hopes of finding her daughter, Bianca, who was conceived at this very studio, with a man named Max Schelpzig, during the filming of German director der Springer’s movie Alpdrücken. Slothrop confides that he isn’t so sure that he’s not in a movie right now.
Meanwhile, the Argentinian anarchists of Squalidozzi find themselves in a submarine, longing for the Zone to become a permanently decentralised monument to the freedom of the individual, in stark contrast from what is happening back home, in their native Buenos Aires. They believe in the power of art to inspire revolution, and desire to work with der Springer to create a film version of Martin Fierro which will force their revolution into existence – just as his propaganda films seemed to will the Schwarzkommando into existence.
Quite the opposite kind of person is then introduced to us: Franz Pökler, a Nazi engineer who worked on the V-2 rocket and the Schwarzgerät under the command of Weissman (now calling himself Captain Blicero). Pynchon shows us basically all of Pökler’s adult life, in a non-linear order. What happens, in short, is this: Pökler is inspired to become a rocket-engineer after taking university lectures in chemistry via Laszlo Jamf, the Pavlovian who somehow conditioned Slothrop as a baby to get erections during V-2 rocket strikes, decades before the V-2 was invented. He marries Leni Pökler, a communist reactionary who will drift apart from him as Weimar Germany becomes the hotseat for a new form of Evil. After watching the late-night premiere of Alpdrücken, Pökler runs home and impregnates Leni with their only child, Ilse. Raising her, he feels compelled to instil within her a desire to travel to the Moon, which is handily reinforced with frequent visits to Zwölfkinder, an amusement park run entirely by children. With Leni gone, Pökler falls deep into his work for the Nazis. As time goes on, he begins to question the nature of his work – is what he is doing just as Evil as what They are doing? Blicero and the other higher-ups catch wind of this, and, to prevent sabotage, Ilse is removed from Pökler’s life. He realises that bringing up the topic will result in termination, possibly of his life, and so he keeps on with the rocket work. He then sees Ilse again, delivered to him at his office without a note, and is advised to go to Zwölfkinder with her, which he does. She disappears the next day. This happens year after year on the same day, with Pökler gradually developing a harrowing fear that she died in the first year, and was replaced by a similar-looking girl. On their final visit to Zwölfkinder, after the Nazi defeat, they find the park empty, and ‘Ilse’ no longer likes the Moon. She tells him that they will no meet again. He returns to the office to find that it has been bombed to smithereens – interesting, isn’t it, how this just so happened to occur on the same day that Pökler goes on his holiday? Bewildered, Pökler travels to the location that Ilse and Leni were supposedly being held, only to find himself in the middle of the Dora concentration camp.
We then encounter the quick story of Horst Achtfaden, another Nazi engineer who, whilst on-board a possibly imaginary “Toiletship” vessel, is captured by Enzian and the Schwarzkommando, who demand that he reveal to them the location of the Schwarzgerät. Deciding that the entire War was just a big joke and that it definitely isn’t worth dying for, he claims that he has no idea what they are talking about, but that there was a colleague named Narrisch who worked directly on the project, so maybe bother him instead.
Back to Slothrop, who is now following the slightly unhinged Greta Erdmann’s lead as she follows a hunch that she hopes will lead straight to Bianca. This leads to a coastal town near the Lüneberg Heath, where the glimpse of a shrouded figure in the mist sends Greta into hysterics before it disappears. As evening approaches, a party-boat named the Anubis drifts by the coast. Upon seeing it, Greta becomes convinced that Bianca is on-board, and jumps into the water after it. Slothrop swims after her, losing his entire Rocketman costume to the sea as he does so. He discovers that the ship is a massive upper-class, elite society orgy vessel - people are indulging in the most depraved sexual acts he has ever seen, all the time, all over the place. And as the night wades on, the centrepiece of this orgy commences – a young girl (Bianca) performs half of a Shirley Temple routine before being publicly humiliated and whipped by Erdmann, her mother. The following morning, Bianca enters Slothrop’s room and the two have sex. Later, a Japanese people-watcher named Ensign Morituri, who lived on the same coastal town that Slothrop was at when they saw the Anubis, relates the horrible truth of Erdmann’s past life. In the lead-up to her time with Slothrop, Erdmann, a fellow native of the town, had gradually gone insane with her partner Gerhardt von Goll, believing herself (for some reason) to be part-Jewish. As some sort of psychotic payback against the Nazis, she began dressing in a shroud and luring the local children out to the swamps, where she would role-play with them (her as Nazi, child as Jew) before drowning them. The figure Erdmann saw earlier is revealed to be a grown-up version of one of the few survivors of her serial-killings – a survivor only because Morituri was there to stop her.
Later, Slothrop endeavours to find Erdmann after she locks herself in her room out of guilt. However, she reveals that her guilt is out of a completely unrelated event – during her time at the Heath, she became the sexual associate of Captain Blicero, who is revealed to have gone insane whilst pursuing some kind of apocalyptic project with a sex-slave (a young boy named Gottfried, who has mysteriously disappeared…) and has now come to see himself as a mythic figure in a fantasy world, running through a different version of Germany from everyone else. During her career as a sex-icon, Blicero took Greta to a remote room in a petrochemical plant, filled with politicians and business tycoons, who introduced her to clothing made entirely out of a new form of plastic – she finds it so stimulating that she wanted to immediate get down and dirty with those around her, but was just as quickly led out of the room again, and, over time, left with a growing concern that she witnessed the birth of something too horrible to really get to the bottom of.
Shortly after this encounter, a major storm hits the Anubis, and many of the passengers, including Slothrop, find themselves thrown head-first into the Sea. Slothrop seems content that the ‘Fascist cargo’ of the ship will soon drown to death. Of course, he is not included – he is soon picked up by an illegal smuggler and sweet old lady called Frau Gnahb, who travels with her young descendant Otto. Reaching land the following morning, Slothrop quickly finds a white-suited man calling himself der Springer, who (after Slothrop shows him Säure’s chess-piece) reveals himself to be none other than Gerhardt von Goll. He is travelling with his friend, an ex-scientist named Narrisch. They all then hop on-board to journey to Peenemunde, where von Goll is immediately arrested by Russian authorities. Narrisch, angered by the whole thing, then forces Slothrop to accompany him as they do another deep-cover infiltration, this time of the Tchitcherine’s military base where they are keeping von Goll. Freeing von Goll, who is on Sodium Amytal, Slothrop finds himself kocking a guard unconscious and taking his uniform. Then, Slothrop and Narrisch run into Tchitcherine and Qulan, where they all get very confused about the uniforms, thus buying enough time for von Goll’s escape. Narrisch then decides to stay behind to fight off the Russians, to allow Frau Gnahb and the gang to get away safely.
Then, to Slothrop’s horror, they once more find the Anubis, where Slothrop is told that he will find his stash to give to von Goll in the engine room. Going on-board, he finds that no-one on the ship remembers or recognises him at all. He gets to the engine room, where the lights go out completely, and voices proceed to taunt and beat him. Frightened, he looks up to find the corpse of Bianca hanging from a noose, just above the stash. He gets it and runs, finding invisible hands grabbing his own as he tries to climb the ladder out of there.
Meanwhile, two older characters, Katje and Pirate, find themselves entwined with a counter-revolutionary force after the destruction of the White Visitation. Katje discovers a film by Osbie Feel which seems to reveal to her the whole Plan and how to combat it, whilst Pirate, on the other hand, has a psychic vision in which he discovers that people of those whom he had trusted are actually parts of Them, and, what’s worse, They know that he is watching them. Both Katje and Pirate begin to form a vague hope of something that can defeat Them, some kind of Counterforce…
Wandering homeless around the Zone again, Slothrop begins to wonder about his own family history, and the environmental damage wrought by his family’s paper company. Furthermore, he thinks back to his first American ancestor, William Slothrop, a pig-loving anti-establishment figure whose political pamphlet was burned on-masse by the Elite, and was then forced to return, defeated, to England. Slothrop once more meets both Marvy and the Schwarzkommando, neither of whom recognise him in the Russian uniform. We soon find out that Marvy is now in league with the Soviets, who have been extracting information about the Schwarzgerät from Narrisch and selling it back to Marvy. While this is going on, Slothrop finds Cuxhaven, where the local children ask him to become their mythical pig-hero, Plechazunga, as part of a pagan festival. Crashed by the cops, Slothrop takes refuge with a teenage girl, who wishes to escape with him, but refuses to leave when the time comes. Slothrop, on the road again, finds a slightly mad German child who demands that Slothrop help him find his lemming, which they fail to do, but Slothrop himself finds a pig, who accompanies him on his journey, which is interrupted by one evening in which Slothrop finds a fellow homeless wanderer named Franz Pökler, who he finds strangely relatable.
Meanwhile, we get to hear about Lyle Bland. Bland was a member of the Masons, though he did not care about the society in the same way that the other Masons seemed to. However, as time went on, he felt that he understood their rites and rituals in a way that the real members never did. He became connected to arcane magickal forces, creating nightly out-of-body experiences, saying on his deathbed that he would choose that night to break through to the Other Side and achieve transcendence. Bland’s life prior to this event was a mish-mash of government deals with mobsters, with the conniving blackmail techniques of intelligence agencies, with the grand conspiracies of international technology tycoons. This last one seems particularly interesting, don’t you think? Bland thinks so too, and he actually has quite a pet passion for a remarkable scheme involving pinball machines that are built to fail – the machines will, in fact, fail immediately after they are fixed. How? Good question.
The final Slothrop scene of In the Zone shows him once more with Bodine, running away from American troops and straight into a mansion which happens to be hosting the party of the century. Ditching his pig-costume in a closet, he takes up in a bedroom with a prostitute named Solange, who is actually Leni Pökler in a new identity. Meanwhile, Bodine runs into Major Marvy, who is here to have sex with a minority so that he can live out a racist power-fantasy. Bodine gives Marvy a vial of cocaine, which Marvy then stashes into his jacket. Later, the mansion is raided by American troops – Marvy, having sex with a minority, freaks it because of the coke he left in his pocket, runs to the closet to find the jacket, only to discover that his whole uniform is missing – the only outfit he can put on to escape is some sort of pig costume. The American troops then find him, ask him if he is Tyrone Slothrop, which Marvy agrees to, hoping that Slothrop hasn’t done anything too bad. He is then kidnapped and dragged into the woods by Muffage and Spontoon, the two hitmen hired by Pointsmen in a previous part of the book to find Slothrop, who proceed to drug and castrate Marvy.
The final section features Mossmoon and Scammony, two government boys back in England who gossip about Pointsman’s career ruination over the castration of Marvy, and the collapse of the whole Scheme. They uneasily discuss the role of homosexuality in government conspiracies. They reveal, finally, what Slothrop was supposed to do in Their Grand Scheme. He was supposed to begin the extermination of the black race. Oh well, they think. If he can’t do it, They will just have to develop different methods.
In the Zone ends on, or around, August 6th 1945 – the date of the atomic bomb strike on Hiroshima. It is also the celebration the Transfiguration.
Discussion Questions:
· Has it occurred to you that most of the dialogue in these sections would have been spoken in German?
· Why do you think the novel is divided into four parts, and what do you think separates them?
· What do you make of the use of the Wizard of Oz quote that begins this section? Quite interesting, especially considering that this is the only epigram that seems to have no reference point in the actual novel.
· What has changed between the beginning and the end of In the Zone?
· Many have expressed the view that Gravity’s Rainbow is not about WWII at all. In fact, Gravity’s Rainbow is about Vietnam. How do you feel about that interpretation, given the focus on the Zone here? More importantly, what does In the Zone tell us about the world in 1973?
· Do you believe that Gravity’s Rainbow is at all autobiographical?
· Why do you think Slothrop keeps becoming a superhero in these sections? What do superheroes and comic books mean to Pynchon?
· Some people have pointed out, with a particular focus on the episodes in which Slothrop wakes up in the studio and Katje finds Osbie Feel’s movie, that the plot is actually a giant film. How does that strike you, and how do you think that metafiction and the introduction of alternative mediums relates to the themes of In the Zone?
· In the Zone makes up literally half of the book. But why? What’s so important about it that could not expressed elsewhere?
· For that matter, what do you make of the Zone itself? Why do you think he wrote a book around it?
· Does Pynchon evoke the imagery of ghosts, magic, angels, demons, telepathy and other phenomena with genuine sincerity, or are we supposed to take these as metaphors for more grounded events?
· This section is far more epic in scope than the two preceding it. Did you encounter anything cool or interesting that you think we forgot about in the discussion threads?
· What do you make of the Rocket-cartel, and what do think Their grand plan actually is?
· What was your favourite episode of this part? Also, what was your favourite Pynchon-tangent or speech?
Previous Threads:
Sections 30-33
Sections 34-37
Sections 38-40
Sections 41-45
Sections 46-48
Sections 49-53
Sections 54-57
Sections 58-61
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2020.09.21 12:48 cursedboi12 Friend I knew for over a year that I buried feelings for decided to unfriend me on Snapchat and I’m feeling used and confused.

Before we Begin there’s some things that you should now. I grew up a very evangelical Christian environment. My mother is a narcissist my dad racist this is how I developed social anxiety that was never treated. This is also why I was isolated for so many years without any friends I was so lonely how do use my Nintendo DS join into chat rooms just to pretend like I’m texting somebody. I spent years dreaming and fantasizing to belong somewhere with somebody I don’t think a lot of you understand what it’s like to be starved for touch, to be starved of a hug, to want to be missed by somebody. In 2015 I lost my faith but I could never come out for it. I’ve been hiding for several years now and it’s exhausting.
Back before Christmas of 2018 I lost my job in a degree I didn’t want and I in a field that I absolutely hate it. I didn’t started working again until February 2019 working at a local restaurant in town. This is where I met a girl named Maria. Almost instantaneously Maria seemed very flirtatious around me. I just put it off as her personality and continued on for quite some time. But then we grew a bit closer as we work together at the restaurant. I got to know her more and realize we had some very similar interest. She quickly began to ask me to dining with her a lot after I finished my shift so we can talk more I did this almost every day with her. People at work began to notice and they thought that we were dating although both of us told coworkers that we were not. Besides she already had boyfriend anyway although she’s mentioned several times that things are rough between him and her.
Besides her flirtatious personality she did other things that started building up in my minds and making me believe that she was very interested in me. Someday she’s made comments saying that whenever she’d see me it brighten up her day, I can often tell she would get physically close to me and sometimes she would poke me in the sides for fun because I’m ticklish. On one of my shifts that she asked me to dining with her and she began to ask me if I was dating anybody and if there’s anyway she could see my social media which at the time I didn’t have any. She’s the sole reason I had a Snapchat. One night as I was leaving we finished talking and she unexpectedly came in for a hug and I didn’t expect it she doesn’t normally give anyone hugs. One night I caught her telling somebody that I was cute and she didn’t know I was there. All these things begin to build up my mind I kept trying to defend myself and guard in the thoughts that she was interested.
That summer 2019 I was heading off to vacation with my family. When she realize she wouldn’t see me for over a week she very clearly verbally told me that she would miss me. Throughout that week on vacation the only thing I could think of was her I realize that I had feelings for her and that I was an absolute fucking idiot for ignoring what I considered signs that she was interested in me. The next day I came back I was talking to a coworker when she had heard my voice came running to me screaming my name and gave me a hug. I cannot explain that feeling but that was the happiest moments in my entire life up to that point. To feel wanted, to feel special, to feel missed, it is something I dream and fantasize up for so many years.
Before I said anything to her I wanted to make sure that it wasn’t just a personality so I just began to ask advice from other female coworkers and what they thought and unanimously they agree that she was interested. So finally I built up the courage and one of the days that I was dining in with her I asked her.
She replied "Oh, listen I'm sorry that I may have gave you an impression that I was interested I've had other guys think that as well." I immediately thought to myself "What the fuck!? I trusted everyone around me because I was so worried about over analyzing stuff and everyone around me and myself was wrong." I replied "when I first met you I viewed you as a friend but people kept making comments and I just thought I might as well try. I know last Tuesday you told me about your boyfriend how things are just complicated I don't want you to think I'm an asshole for knowing that and me still trying to tell you something about how I felt." "It's fine" she replied "my boyfriend has noticed that I was getting close to somebody at work I won't say who but he doesn't like it when I get close to other guys, try to hug others, recently he said that I was ugly and I didn't care about him so some days I come to work just to get away just to focus on work." "
Holy fucking shit" I thoughts "what kind a guy would say something like that to you what kind a guy would try to put you down like that" is what I wanted to say to her but I didn't. Already I feel like an asshole so I didn't want to say any thing else I figured that at this point it's just not my problem not my concern. I don't want her to think that I was trying to get her space so I just didn't say anything about it. Also I didn't really even know the guy, he sounds like an asshole from my point of you and other people who know her or her boyfriend says that he is protective but I don't know him maybe she just exaggerated a little bit but still why would anyone say that to her. At this point I was kind of worried I realize that I care about her and as a friend I wanted to at least be there for her but I just think she needs space. Before leaving that day the last thing I said to her was "listen if you need to talk just has a friend that's fine". I said that because I was still that worried.
Things eventually went back to somewhat normal. She never went back to give me hugs and she never made comments of me being cute. But the damage was already done and I couldn’t get her off my mind. Eventually we began to dine in again just to talk. But after a few months I finally got a job offer for the local city library. When she found out I can tell she would miss me, I remember her grabbing my arms. Although I gottin a much better job offer I was still working for both places for several months. I continued working at that restaurant partly because I need to get away from my family. But deep down I just didn’t wanna lose her. Working for both places was exhausting at one point I was working for a whole month and a half without a single day off.
Eventually I didn’t see her as often because her shifts were at different times. So on some nights after leaving the library I would show up to visit. I had legitimate reasons for showing up, one of my managers kept screwing over me with the schedules so how to make sure there’s no conflicting hours. Around this time I notice she was asking me to dine in a lot more you see I slowly stopped because I was exhausted but also I knew I had feelings for her and that she didn’t. When I knew deep down inside why I stayed at the restaurant I feel like a fucking parasite because of how I felt with her so over time I stopped looking at her Snapchat post I stopped dining in with her.
But one night in February of this year that I was there she seemed to really wanted me to dine in again. As I was leaving that night though she asked me if I was working that Super Bowl Sunday which I was she mainly apologized and “said sorry I didn’t mean to stalk you with the schedule”.
That same week I had to prepare for Super Bowl Sunday at work it was gonna be rough because everybody in town’s gonna be at the bar drinking. I was there all day and surprisingly she seem to have taken someone shift. That night was working really fast I had a asthma attack towards the end of my shift. My hands couldn’t grip anything I needed something to drink really badly she was holding a glass of water for me just so I can drink and asked me what was going on. “ I have a lot to deal with at home” Joshua she said “you know you can always text me on Snapchat”. “I know, it’s just a lot “ so I assume you’re not going to dine in?” She said.
“No I’m sorry I can’t, I said. I said that because my feelings for her were still there and I needed them to die off but also I just noticed all the red flags with her. Even seeing all these flags I was starving for some thing and my mind wouldn’t let go.
But then suddenly out of nowhere that same week I noticed she blocked me from Snapchat. I noticed because she said if I needed her need to talk to her that I could and I really need to because I’m dealing with a lot at home. I went back to work and confronted her about it. I asked her if I did anything wrong, she said”no I wouldn’t do that to you I’m not like that I was probably just a glitch.” But I can tell that was a complete lie I can see she was going through Settings to unblock me. This is around the time Covid hit and everybody was laid off for several months.
This is also around the time that I became suicidal. Everything in my life was building up I couldn’t carry the weight anymore and she was really confusing me. We didn’t speak again until July of this same year. She responded to one of my Snapchat’s stories where I posted a screenshot of some random girl trying to sell me her nudes I jokingly told this girl “I’m not no Simp”. I don’t really remember what she responded with but eventually I asked her how quarantine was treating her.
“Not good she said. I broke up with my boyfriend move back home.” I’m really sorry” I try to distract her by telling her how I quit the job at the restaurant but she replaies: "I had to quit" I felt like shit from that response because it didn’t feel right like if she thought I wasn’t listening. A few days later she messaged me again regarding one of my Snapchat stories about an anime character that I saw at the library. She's really into anime. She tell me it was from some Anime show she likes to watch. I told her i never did see the show and that I haven’t really watched anime since I watched some seen in sword art online that made me very uncomfortable with anime in general. Specifically with how the women are treated in anime. I think she told me it was a good show and that i shooiuld watch it.
I begin to notice though she stopped looking at my stories. In just this past week she just removes me out of nowhere.
I don’t know if it’s because I fucked up with some thing. Or was she that frustrated with my comment on anime? I’m just so fucking confused. When she blocked me the first time I panicked. It was overwhelming because even after a year of telling her how I felt I still thought of her. I was afraid of getting hurt again but for some reason this hurts so much. I spent years dreaming to be with somebody and now I’m wondering if I lost it. Was it me? Was it her? I tried to let my feelings die, I try distracting myself, I tried a lot of things. She’s been the most confusing thing that has ever happened to me. Even though she was probably a piece of shit, probably was using me, or just doent comprend how she acts around others or just doesn't care, I worry that she may have been the best that I could have ever had even if she was only just ok. She was one of the only other person that knew about my home life and I feel like shit, I feel like I was used up and thrown away. But I’m still wondering if I did something wrong. I feel awful, I feel like an actually Simp.
submitted by cursedboi12 to offmychest [link] [comments]


2020.09.21 05:44 givemeadviceplzx The longest post I've ever written. Should I end my engagement?

Should I break off my (31f) engagement with my fiancé (34m)?
We've been together ~4 years.
Initially I started writing this post talking about how to approach my fiancé about his repetitive food shaming and trying to control what I eat. I’ve done a lot of thinking and realized there is a whole lot more for me and us to consider when it comes to our relationship.
I’ll preface this by saying I love this man. He's intelligent, kind, compassionate, generous. I feel safe, loved, and cared for when I'm with him. He’s everything I ever wanted in someone. He is currently in another city for work and I wonder if a lot of the following thoughts are only surfacing because of the distance. Maybe I’m able to think more clearly when he’s away? Maybe I’m just overthinking things because I’m lonely? Am I sabotaging? Maybe I’m looking for something better and I have commitment issues? I have no idea.
But here is where I began writing, with the food issues. Buckle up, this is long and frankly I’m not the best at telling a story, even my own. I’ve divided the problematic topics in hopes of making it an easier read.
Food:
I've struggled greatly with my fiancés comments on my eating habits in the past. It's not every time, but occasionally if I eat something he considers unhealthy, or he thinks I don't "deserve" to eat something, he will let me know in a really shitty way. I don't think this should matter but we are both well within what’s generally considered a healthy weight. I've been going to the gym since they re-opened in my state, as has he, but I am not always a habitual gym-goer.
I've found his relationship with food to be somewhat obsessive, and his family has brought it up organically in conversation as well. They've mentioned they believe he has body dysmorphia which I agree with. He thinks if he "deserves" to eat something, he should allow himself to eat it. This is based on his weight at the time or what his recent eating/gym habits are. He compulsively checks the scale to track progress. This is fine, it works for him and he’s happy doing it - but he welcomes and enjoys when I notice him gaining weight or looking less fit and wants me to comment on it. I love him regardless of what he looks like but he says its very discouraging when I can’t see the difference if he gains weight. His weight hardly fluctuates so honestly it’s hard to tell. He prefers if I tell him he’s gained weight or is looking “soft”, he likes the “tough love” motivation. This is tough for me because it's not my instinct to complain about his looks in order to motivate him, but I try and he likes it.
Personally, I try to eat everything in moderation but don't neglect myself sweets. By not denying myself, I don't gorge and I don't have an unhealthy relationship with food. I am happy with my body and I'm not trying to change anything at the moment, but I do want to gain strength, which is my main goal at the gym. However, I feel constantly judged and criticized by comments he makes about food I eat.
For example, today I didn't go to the gym as I woke up with a lot of neck pain. I mentioned I wanted to have chocolate bar I have in my purse. He quickly said "you don't deserve chocolate". When I protested he said "think of the things you've been eating, you think you deserve chocolate?" Yesterday, I found myself holding back comments about a dessert I had, for fear of him saying something to me in disapproval. Withholding talking about food with him is not a rare occurrence for me. Earlier this week, he commented how my breakfast was just "Carbs. More carbs, all carbs. You gonna eat all of that?"
In the past, it was much worse. We've fought over comments he has made to me about eating pasta, and saying things like "again?" or "how many times are you going to eat that?" when I am eating something he disapproves of. He was unable to reassure me that he would still love me if I gained weight, said he would only overlook pregnancy weight gain but might not feel the same about me if I gained 15 lbs otherwise. He made comments of me having a "fupa" in a picture, etc.
I suppose my question here is... How do I approach this? I told him today that I didn't appreciate the comment about me "deserving" chocolate and that it's not up to him to decide what I deserve to eat or not. He questioned my "method" for choosing what I can and can not eat, then basically left the conversation saying "Ok, well I'll talk to you later." Which is his way of cutting a phone call short when he disagrees and doesn't feel like dealing with it or me. I should mention this wouldn’t be the first time I’m bringing this up to him - I’ve brought it up to him many, many times in the past when it was more prevalent. It hasn't happened in months, but at this point having it happen again I really don’t know how to approach it and it’s getting very tiresome.
Am I being too sensitive? I honestly can't tell if this is normal, but it doesn't feel right. I don’t push my ideas of how I moderate my eating onto him and I expect him not to push his ideas onto me, and I definitely would not like to have to withhold comments about food for fear of disapproval, etc, to the person I am going to marry. The worst part is I am increasingly aware of how this is negatively affecting my body image. I bought nice lingerie months ago that I still haven't had the balls to wear for him.
Religion:
I have never been religious, though I was raised Catholic. My fiancé is a devout Christian. Fiancé says he wants to raise our (future) kids Christian and not doing so is a deal breaker for him. Though I am Agnostic and that will likely never change, I decided that I would be comfortable raising our children as Christian as it’s something that is very important to him - as long as, when the kids are of age, I want them to be able to choose for themselves and I want to be able to speak to them about my own beliefs. My fiancé thinks this is unacceptable and thinks they shouldn’t have an influence as strong as their mother guiding them away from Christianity because there is already so much of that. I stood my ground on this and he sort of brushed it under the rug. Is that too much to ask, to be able to tell my own kids what my beliefs are?
Finances:
I have never been the best at saving. I basically followed my dream (low paying) job in my early 20s and spent a lot of time traveling on my super low salary, not saving at all but very slowly paying off student debt. As I lived overseas for a long time, my 401k was inexistent. When my fiancé and I met, all of this changed. He’s been instrumental in giving me the knowledge and motivation I needed to get my student debt way down, help me with figuring out savings/401/roth, etc. I appreciate all the guidance he’s given me, however since becoming engaged he has made me feel like shit by saying several times that my choices in the past have affected us today by not allowing us to be able to buy a certain house. I feel extremely guilty because I didn’t save in my 20s, which he says led to us now having to borrow a down payment from family to buy house. He already owns a house but we want to buy one together soon, and the last resort I suppose is selling his house so we can buy our house but I personally think we should just wait and save up more, instead of borrowing a down payment from family.
He also tells me that everything he has done is benefitting me and will continue to benefit me, while I’ve done nothing to benefit him or us, financially speaking. It hurts. I was financially irresponsible in my 20s overseas and regret my past choices, but I’ve worked hard at changing my habits and have come a long way. In 2 years I’ve managed to get rid of $55k in debt, have a solid 401k, HSA, and have some savings, just not enough for a down payment. I am proud of how far I’ve come, but I feel like it’s just not enough for him. I don’t have any family members we can borrow money from/there will never be an inheritance or anything like that from my parents, so I feel like he just has this whole burden on himself and there’s nothing I can do to help relieve it right away.
Jobs:
I love my career. He always jokes that your job shouldn’t be your personality trait, but it encompasses my life. Which sucks because as much as I love my job, I feel he doesn’t respect it even though I now earn well over six figures which is not easy to do in my field. He has always said my job is “not a real job” and that I don’t really work, "just get paid to vacation". I do have some great work trips but it’s offensive to me to have the person I love basically tell me I don’t work when I actually kick ass at what I do and it’s physically and mentally exhausting sometimes and though it has some fun perks, it IS A REAL JOB. I give up holidays, birthdays, weddings, all kinds of things to do this and earn myself a decent living. He is insistent that I need to change career for us to have a normal family life, and I actually agree because I wouldn't want kids with this job as I would be away too often. But this doesn't change the fact that he thinks my career is a joke.
The Weird Dreams:
Pre-fiancé, I dated a guy who is also in my industry, Andy. We dated casually because we were both in different countries overseas, and always thought we’d make it work when we both made it back to the US at some point, but it was very casual regardless. Eventually I met my fiancé and Andy and I cut things off. My fiancé, after dating LDR for a year and a half dumped me because long distance was too difficult and also probably because he wanted to fuck around (my gut tells me this). My response to being dumped was to contact Andy and visit him since he was back in the US, just 2 weeks after the breakup. We connected and had a really good time but I was not in any way ready to see someone so soon after the breakup. Things picked up where they’d left off and it seemed like it could go somewhere - except that Andy was moving back overseas for another year or two in a month. A month goes by, Andy moves back overseas, and my now-fiancé basically says “I’m moving back to the US and I want to get back together”. I told Andy about everything and he was hurt and disappointed and we haven’t spoken since.
Fiancé and I obviously gave it another shot, and now almost 2 years later we are engaged. The problem is - I have dreams about Andy. Maybe once a week? They stopped for a few weeks when we got engaged, but I think about him often and the dreams really scare me. All of this makes me second guess my relationship. It makes me think I shouldn’t have gotten back together with my fiancé. I should’ve given Andy a shot, even if it was long distance. He had the same passion for the industry we work in, we had similar religious views, we got along so well, and... I hurt him, twice. I feel a lot of guilt for what I did to him but also - is this my conscience telling me to leave my fiancé? Did I love this ex? What the hell is this? Am I seeing all the tough parts of my relationship and thinking “the grass is greener with Andy”? WHY THE DREAMS???
Engagement:
My fiancé is not very vocal with his emotions. I have a tendency to express how I feel in hand written letters. I’ve always hoped my fiancé would tell me his feelings in the same way one day. We do say I love you a LOT to each other, but I’ve kind of wanted to know why? It could be my own insecurity that is asking me for this, but he has never really had a reason when I jokingly or seriously ask why he loves me. I told him it’s easier in writing, for me anyway, and he should try it and that I would love it, but he’s really not one to open up, something his family also brings up often. Regardless, I was a bit surprised that when he proposed he basically asked me to marry him and gave me the ring. In the car on the way home, he gave me a quick sort of speech, while driving, about how he wanted to be my "rock". He didn’t even try to do it before putting on his seatbelt or starting the car, it happened while the vehicle was in motion and he couldn’t even really look at me because he was driving. It wasn’t romantic in the least. I don’t expect fireworks and I was ok with the low-key proposal because its much more my style - but I would’ve LOVED to hear WHY he wants to marry me, just that one time.
Please tell me if I’m crazy. I truly will not be surprised if all of this is ridiculous and I get comments telling me to see a therapist because I’m insane. And yes, I will be seeking therapy, I promise. But right now I don’t know what to do.


TL;DR: My fiancé and I love each other but he food shames me and we have fundamental differences in how we approach religion and finances. He isn't respectful of my career. I have recurring dreams about an ex. Basically, I don't know shit about fuck. But we're engaged, and I love him.
submitted by givemeadviceplzx to relationships [link] [comments]


2020.09.20 23:48 SuperHotUKDeals The Prestige blu ray £3.18 @ Amazon prime (£2.99 p&p non prime)

The following description is not provided by this sub or any of it's contributors.
£3.18 - Amazon
Directed by Christopher Nolan. Starring Hugh Jackman, Michael Caine, Christian Bale.
From Amazon.co.uk
Sandwiched in-between his two Batman films to date, director Christopher Nolan served up the delightful mix of mystery, thriller and drama with The Prestige. It’s a visually striking film, with more than one scene that you could happily freeze-frame, print out and frame to put on your wall. Beautifully shot, and with a 1080p transfer that delights in highlight the sheer level of detail that’s clearly gone into the production, it’s a marvellous film that looks superb on Blu-ray.
The story itself tells the tale of a pair of rival magicians, played by Hugh Jackman and Christian Bale. One’s strength is his showmanship, the other is his illusions, and the rivalry between the two of them fuels an interesting film. The true magician of The Prestige is Nolan, however, who’s not averse to the odd sleight of hand himself, in a film that almost begs to be picked apart and debated once the credits have rolled.
As well as the terrific video transfer, the Blu-ray of The Prestige boasts a diverting collection of extras, and a quality sound mix as well. But it’s the main feature that’s set to keep you talking. Superbly played by a terrific cast, and put together by one of the most interesting directors working in big-budget Hollywood movies, it’s a film to be treasured, warts and all. And this Blu-ray is the best way to do that. --Jon Foster
Features & details
Product information
Run time 2 hours and 10 minutes
Number of discs 1
Media Format PAL, Subtitled
Language German (Dolby Digital 5.1), English (Dolby Digital 5.1), French (Dolby Digital 5.1), Spanish (Dolby Digital 5.1)
Actors Christian Bale, Hugh Jackman,
This deal can be found on hotukdeals via this link: https://ift.tt/3iOaEaq
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2020.09.20 12:35 ConorCulture Rebookiversary Pt.2 – Slammiversary 2006

Team Canada (A-1, Eric Young and Johnny Devine) defeats The Naturals and Shane Douglas in a Pre-show Match
When Douglas returns, he reunites with Chase Stevens, and they go under the wing of Shane Douglas. Their first opponent of this trio is Team Canada. The Naturals and Team Canada have had issues in the past, but they now have third men in their corners. Team Canada gets the win.
Team 3D defeats The James Gang in a Bingo Hall Brawl
Rhino defeats Team Canada (Bobby Roode and Coach D’Amore) in a Handicap Match
Senshi defeats Shark Boy, Petey Williams, Puma, Jay Lethal and Sonjay Dutt in an Ultimate X Match
The participants of the match stay the same, only instead of being a 6-way Elimination Match, it is an Ultimate X Match, meaning the winner gets a shot at Samoa Joe’s X Division Championship. This is the most men to ever participate in an Ultimate X as its hyped. They have a lot of the same spots as the real match, but extra involving the cables and four towers. Senshi then goes on a strike spree with kicks galore. He then swings on the cables with a kick to the midsection to Puma. He flips inside out off the cables and Senshi grabs the X to win the match. He will soon challenge Samoa Joe.
Kevin Nash defeats Chris Sabin
A.J. Styles and Christopher Daniels defeats America’s Most Wanted © to win the NWA World Tag Team Championships
Samoa Joe © defeats Scott Steiner to retain the X Division Championship
This match is heavily hyped as the biggest ever match in TNA not for the World title. Joe holds the X Division Championship when he starts feuding with Steiner. The feud isn’t about the title, but Steiner still wants it based off his thought process that its never bad to have an extra title on the accolades list. This is Joe’s chance to see if he belongs in the main event picture, and will be his biggest test to date against Big Poppa Pump. Steiner also believes that the X Division represents everything he hates about TNA and wrestling, and that he will make it relevant.
The opening of the match stays the same, both guys working some pretty stiff stuff. They trade strikes with big lariats and dropkicks. However instead of the ending we got of Steiner kicking out of Joe’s finisher, and then a lot of low blows, and a botched slam, and a REALLY long wait for the pin – Joe simply proves that he is indeed worthy of the main event and is definitely able to hang with the big boys. He hits an STJoe and locks in the Rear Naked Choke, making Freakzilla tap out in seconds. He leaves Steiner in agony as he stands victorious. He then does something he very rarely does, and takes the mic. “I want…the NWA World Heavyweight Championship.”
Monty Brown defeats Christian Cage ©, Alex Shelley, Abyss and Sting in a King of the Mountain Match to win the NWA World Heavyweight Championship
For the second year running a King of the Mountain Match has been apart of the NWA World Heavyweight Championship picture, but this time it is for the title itself. Champion, Christian Cage, declares that he will defend the title against four of the best TNA have to offer, and the qualifiers begin tonight. Sting is the first man to qualify, defeating A.J. Styles in the main event of Impact!. He stares down Christian to close the show. Abyss then opens the show next week in a match with Hernandez. Abyss wins cleanly and this time with James Mitchell in his corner, he will avenge last years loss. Monty Brown also gets into the match second year running, leaving the last match of the night to be Jeff Jarrett vs. Ron Killings, and you’ll see how that plays out later, but in short: it’s a no contest. This means the go home show will have a Gauntlet for the Gold match for the empty slot, won by Kevin Nash’s best friend Alex Shelley.
Shelley has some skits with Nash on how to be a main eventer early in the show, so he’s prepared for tonight. He impresses in the match, with two big spots. He becomes legal after pinning Abyss in a shock, and then stops Christian from retaining by hitting him with a Automatic Midnight off the side of the ladder! He then climbs up the penalty box and dives off the top into the ring with a Sliced Bread #2 to Christian! Christian pins Sting early to become legal, who then forms an alliance with Abyss while in the penalty box. They then go on a tear together, pinning Christian and Monty Brown, until they both try and climb up the ladder. Abyss then hits a Black Hole Slam off the side of the ladder!
Christian and Monty Brown both fight in the penalty box until they’re released. Meanwhile Alex Shelley sits on the top of the box, waiting for the right moment. Monty takes Shelley off the roof and hits him with The Pounce to become legal. He goes to climb up but Sting pulls him down. Sting clocks him with the bat and he fights with Abyss up top. They’re both then pushed off by Christian and Monty! Christian climbs up but he’s met by Monty. Christian hits him with the belt, and then hits him again. He goes for a third but Brown ducks and he swings too far. The title is snatched out of his hands and is easily pushed off. Monty then hangs the title up and dethrones the champ! He is the new NWA World Heavyweight Championship, and now has his second chance to make it big with the gold.
Ron Killings defeats Jeff Jarrett in an Unsanctioned Match
Jeff Jarrett tries to get involved in the King of the Mountain Match to regain the NWA World Heavyweight Championship, but in his qualifying match with Ron Killings, the newly face Truth ends it in a no contest when it goes too far. He explains afterwards that he doesn’t care that he lost his shot at the world title, he can regain that when he wants. But he says it is his duty as a man who has been one of the faces of TNA for 4 years to not let this ass hat win the title once again. A gauntlet for the gold is made for that spot their qualifying match was meant to fill, which we already saw. Jarrett is enraged by Truth’s actions and wants revenge. He attacks him backstage and cuts a scathing promo on Killings, and tells him the real “truth”, he always has and always will be in his shadow as the face of TNA the last 4 years.
The match is declared Unsanctioned by Dixie Carter as what they will do to each other cannot be associated with their brand. Truth says in the promo before the match he doesn’t even think that will able to contain them. It’s brutal from the get go as they trade shots with chairs, until a shot to the head busts Killings open. He is bleeding profusely early and they’re barely into it. Jarrett continues to assault him with weapons and target his cut forehead. The gruesome violence gets to the degree Tenay has to tell the audience at home to turn the TV off for the kids. Jarrett is slingshot into the ring post and he’s now bleeding. Ron unloads with his beat down, hitting a Diving Elbow off the timekeepers stand through the announce table. They then have a moment where they’re both on their knees and throwing elbows, until Jarrett and Truth both fall in unison. Truth then gets up and struggles to stand, while the ref demands the bell be rang because Jarrett can’t keep going. Jeff then slaps him and the match is restarted.
More violence ensues with Killings being hit with The Stroke onto thumbtacks near the end. This is kicked out of though. Jarrett then hammers the tacks in with a chair but he keeps fighting, and hits Jeff with The Stroke. 1….2…Jeff kicks out. Jarrett’s old rival Monty Brown, who just won the world title comes out and tells him to stop the match. Jarrett then beats him down with a kendo stick. He turns around into being hit with a Truth Conviction onto the tacks by Killings!! He gets up and hits Monty in the head with the steel chair, and hits a Hang Time on Jarrett for the win. In the most brutal and violent match in TNA history comes to a close, both guys are stretchered out, although Killings holds a triumphant fist in victory.
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2020.09.20 11:13 RemoteAssociation506 AITA for telling my best friend that I don't like her new boyfriend?

My best friend Jackie (26F) started dating Brad (27M) just under two months ago. She took a while to warm up to the idea of dating him which was mainly because she hasn't dated anyone since high school, and I feel like the fact that she has been single so long is the reason why she chooses to look past his red flags. Her family seem to like him, but I feel like its because they're just happy to see her in a relationship, and there's no way she tells them all the things she tells me.
I've based my judgement on a handful of meetings with him, but mostly from the stories she tells me of their time together. My major concerns are:
- He thinks it's okay to frequently go to the strippers even when he has a girlfriend. He said it is the staple of a regular night out with his friends.
- He covers for his friends when they cheat on their wives. He bragged about one situation recently where he covered for his friend who cheated on his wife because she "hadn't had sex with him in a while." He thought this reasoning made it okay. (Can I also point out Jackie is set on not having sex before marriage as she was raised a christian. How can she trust that he won't cheat on her if that's his logic?)
- He frequently comments on her weight.
- He constantly asks her about her finances and makes plans around her money. (He planned her romantic birthday weekend away, but she's paying for all of it???)
- Usually only asks her to hang out if it benefits him in some way. (Asks her to come over for movies, but she has to pick him and his friends up from drinks in the city first).
- He peed off our deck because the bathroom was occupied. We have families with young children as our neighbours on all three sides of our house.
We recently had dinner with our third best friend Liam (25M) and I organised for us to ride home together after so I could get his honest opinion on Brad. Keeping in mind I specifically haven't told Liam about any of the above because I didn't want to colour his opinion, but I wasn't shocked that Liam disliked Brad immediately. His main reasons were because he talked at us or over us instead of actually having a conversation with us. He was openly racist and his "playful banter" with Jackie was actually borderline insulting.
When I got home, Jackie asked me what Liam said and I just let her know he felt the same as I did. I elaborated and said neither of us liked him and we thought she could do a million times better, but we would support her choices and always be inclusive of Brad as long as she was with him. Well ever since that conversation she has been moping around the house and acting sour towards me.
In the perfect world, I would love to be friends with her boyfriend, but am I really the asshole for not liking him?
Edit: Sorry for the length, I tried to keep it short!
submitted by RemoteAssociation506 to AmItheAsshole [link] [comments]


2020.09.18 22:39 thecopperbulldog How do I address past sin, and share it with the person (24f), I (27m) am dating?

Needing Godly wisdom or insight from anyone who has experienced something similar:
I am a strong believer and love God more than anything. Despite this, I (single, 27m) have had issues in my past regarding sexual sin and becoming physically intimate with women. Most of these situations arose when I was distancing myself from God, struggling in my faith, or due to general temptation.
Not that the number matters, but I lost my virginity to a girl I was dating and she is the only person I've ever had "sex" with in the most common term. However, I've struggled "sexually" with multiple girls.
I've worked on this issue, repented, joined a men's small group to help with healing and received forgiveness.
Flash forward to August 2020. I started seeing a christian woman who I've gone out with three times. We didn't know each other personally beforehand but I find myself becoming very interested in her. However, I find myself feeling extreme fear at the idea of sharing my past sin with her (if the relationship ever grows to that point).
Simply put, I'm looking for advice on when to address the elephant in the room, how to address it, and what I should expect her reaction to be. Also, how I should respond whether her reaction is to break up, or keep seeing me.
I've heard stories from people who have experienced the same thing. Some said it was a struggle before marriage and took a lot of time for it to not weigh on the woman's conscious. Others said it has completely ruined their marriages despite it being disclosed beforehand. I'm wondering what peoples experiences are like on here?
I'm not entirely sure what her dating history is but the main reason I am anxious is if I am the first person she has ever dated and this information causes her unneccesary pain. I've shared my past sin with one other girl (who had never dated anyone) who I was dating for a brief time. She took the news HORRIBLY, and it ruined the relationship.
Not only that but she treated me like garbage because of it and it put me in a really bad spot spiritually, emotionally, and mentally. I guess you could say I really struggle with the idea that even though I know I am forgiven in the eyes of God, I won't be forgiven in the eyes of potential partners.
I've come a long way since then and have been really excited about the prospect of dating this new girl. Any Godly advice is welcome!
TLDR: How/when do I share my dating/sexual history to my (27m) very new girlfriend (24f).
submitted by thecopperbulldog to Reformed [link] [comments]


2020.09.18 22:38 thecopperbulldog How do I address past sin, and share it with the person I (27m) am dating?

Needing Godly wisdom or insight from anyone who has experienced something similar:
I am a strong believer and love God more than anything. Despite this, I (single, 27m) have had issues in my past regarding sexual sin and becoming physically intimate with women. Most of these situations arose when I was distancing myself from God, struggling in my faith, or due to general temptation.
Not that the number matters, but I lost my virginity to a girl I was dating and she is the only person I've ever had "sex" with in the most common term. However, I've struggled "sexually" with multiple girls.
I've worked on this issue, repented, joined a men's small group to help with healing and received forgiveness.
Flash forward to August 2020. I started seeing a christian woman who I've gone out with three times. We didn't know each other personally beforehand but I find myself becoming very interested in her. However, I find myself feeling extreme fear at the idea of sharing my past sin with her (if the relationship ever grows to that point).
Simply put, I'm looking for advice on when to address the elephant in the room, how to address it, and what I should expect her reaction to be. Also, how I should respond whether her reaction is to break up, or keep seeing me.
I've heard stories from people who have experienced the same thing. Some said it was a struggle before marriage and took a lot of time for it to not weigh on the woman's conscious. Others said it has completely ruined their marriages despite it being disclosed beforehand. I'm wondering what peoples experiences are like on here?
I'm not entirely sure what her dating history is but the main reason I am anxious is if I am the first person she has ever dated and this information causes her unneccesary pain. I've shared my past sin with one other girl (who had never dated anyone) who I was dating for a brief time. She took the news HORRIBLY, and it ruined the relationship.
Not only that but she treated me like garbage because of it and it put me in a really bad spot spiritually, emotionally, and mentally. I guess you could say I really struggle with the idea that even though I know I am forgiven in the eyes of God, I won't be forgiven in the eyes of potential partners.
I've come a long way since then and have been really excited about the prospect of dating this new girl. Any Godly advice is welcome!
TLDR: How/when do I share my dating/sexual history to my (27m) very new girlfriend (24f).
submitted by thecopperbulldog to TrueChristian [link] [comments]


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