Lance Armstrong dating Sheryl Crow

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2014.01.22 01:00 tabledresser [Table] IamA: i have triorchidism(three testicles) AMA!

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Date: 2014-01-21
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Questions Answers
Just the one penis though? yawn Only one penis. it's not the biggest or the best penis, but he's a fine penis, and he's served me well.
With our usernames we'd make a formidable super hero team. We could be the crotch of justice.
I'm pretty sure you'd get an 8.4 for that movie on imdb. Speaking of extra balls and movies... there is actually a porno called E3: the extra testicle. enjoy.
Link to
I don't know how I should feel about this. Well, just don't be crotchety. that's our job.
2 dicks, 3 balls, whats next, 4 boobs??? please be 4 boobs.. That'd be udderly fantastic.
That's the breast pun I've heard in a while. Tits.
Uhh.. uhh. i froze up, i cannot think of a followup pun. HELP ME!! :( You should mooove over if you can't handle it.
Utterly fantastic. No. 4 boobs... as in cow... udder... pun intended.
1) When you ejaculate, is it any different than the average male's ejaculation? For example, is there a larger volume of cum or higher sperm count? Does it look extra thick? 2) Do you think the sperm from each testicle is as good? Would the extra testicle's sperm be duds or yield offspring that might have birth defects? 3) Do you get more testosterone, and would you consider yourself more "macho" than other guys? 4) Would you consider yourself easily aroused or a fast finisher? 5) Do you have to milk yourself more frequently to prevent prostate inflamation? While i've given most of these answers already, and fairly wittier, i'll still answer, but with the cliff notes version: 1- pretty normal from what i'm told. 2- it's good enough that i had a healthy child. no defects, no health issues. from tests of my sperm years ago, my sperm all looked to be healthy and normal. (though i do not plan on having any more children) 3- no more testosterone. but i tend to do a lot more dumbass "macho" shit than other people... but that's a unrelated issue i think. 4- no, pretty standard. other than the extra lump and crowded underoos, not much abnormal.
Do you need to milk yourself more frequently to prevent prostate inflamation? No. there's no extra production. (milk myself... lol...) i beat my dick like it owes me money out of pure enjoyment, not out of necessity.
After being hit in the testes, have you ever made the joke, "Let me just check something... 1...2...and 3"? More times than i can count. hahaa.
Do you feel lucky to be one of 200 cases of triorchidism in medical history? It's a few higher than that i believe now, but yet. but oddly enough, a really good buddy of mine, grew up in same town, also has this. we'd know each other for years before realizing it. now we have a special handshake. (no homo)
You should say your photo is NSFW. Someone may get in trouble opening that link at work. Well, i figure anyone looking at a post about three balls and looking for picture proof has some inclination it may be shots of my low hangin fruit. but point taken. will edit.
My question for you is does that affect your sex life at all? Doesn't effect my sex life in any real physical manner, other than it's a neat little sideshow attraction that interests some females into further exploration.
You should go to bars with a tshirt that says I HAVE THREE TESTICLES, AMA. I've used my balls to make bets and win drinks and love alike. it's always a good time dropping my pants in a room full of eager stranger with their eyes fixed on my crotch. at this point i no longer really need a shirt... most people are aware of my situation.
it's a neat little sideshow attraction that interests some females into further exploration. Are you saying it makes them want to "poke around" in back? No, it hasn't ever lead to that.
Well, you'll get there eventually. We all do. Well, i guess it'd depend on the situation. not saying i wouldn't. not saying i would. totally noncommittal, alcohol intake and hotness of chick would be relevant factors. hahaha.
2 vaginas, 2 dicks, now 3 testicles! What's next, reddit, WHAT'S NEXT!?!?! I wont be happy until i see a man with a dick on one thigh, a vagina on the other thigh, and he's fucking himself while doing the funky chicken. that is my dream.
If these two guys made a porn together, what would it be called I wonder? Meatception.
Do you have nine toes? I do. and if you buy those 9, i throw in the 10th one for free.
You should get a Tri-Force tattoo'd onto your ballsack... For us? Please? Lol. i tried once a few years back. couldn't find an artist that wanted to handle my balls. maybe i'll try again. i'm not totally opposed.
Boxers, briefs, or boxer briefs? Boxer briefs. briefs too confining, boxers too much freedom, shit gets tangled. boxer briefs to keep it all where it needs to be and less clacking around.
Do all 3 work? Have u named them? Maybe huey duey and luey? I've had girlfriends name them, nothing really stuck that i cared for. i generally refer to them collectively as the trifecta or the triforce.
But do all 3 work? Yes. all three function normally.
How much cum do you produce? There's really only two ways to find out... handjob... or read the answer on one of the other 8 times i've answered this.
My advice... if you want something done right...
I asked because I want to find out by the first way. But nevermind. Lol. i appreciate the sentiment, but lighten up. if you couldn't tell from previous answers, i'm being pretty jovial and light hearted with my responses. dick mode not activated.
Pics of emily getting the answer to her question. No way she could be a dude pretending to be a chick. This is the internet... Lips is lips ;) haha. that and i don't generally let strangers from the internet jiggle my ballbag. i need to meet you at a bar and have questionable judgement to let a stranger touch my joystick.
When did you realise that your balls were unusual? Were your parents pretty upfront about it? They had no idea. it's not easily detectable unless you're looking for it. mine was discovered after a particularly horrible shot to the nuts during a baseball game. was concerned it was a ruptured testicle. while doing a sonogram they discovered it was an extra.
Was your mind totally blown? Not really. i was too young to really care or take into mind everything it would eventually encompass. i was pretty damn reserved about it for the long time. coincidentally, til about the time i discovered alcohol... my good old friend alcohol convinced me to start waving them around like a proud flag. i'm more amazed by it today in reflection than i was finding out.
Like a proud flag. You, sir, are magnificent. Shame and fucks to give. i have neither. lol.
Did you happen to see the two penis guy's AMA? Yes. it was my commenting in that thread, followed by someone asking me in there, that lead me to do this. (diff user name. had to make new acct)
Do you tell a girl before you sleep with her? Most i think i have. it's kind of a widely known thing, i don't hide it. i've been known to prove it in public places when asked.
If not, what is the typical reaction when they find out? And unless i tell someone, there's not much chance of them ever knowing. even when fiddling around down there, unless you're looking for it, it doesn't stand out.
Do they try to fit the double ball into their mouth? Or all three? Because\ I\ would.\ It is a challenge some women have taken it upon themselves to conquer. i humbly oblige any and all willing contestants.
Do you ask you ladies if they like their tea strong? If they're ready to drink my tea, there's only one way to take it. strong.
What's the worst and best thing about having 3 balls? Best... they've been used to win me bar bets and entice women into sexy situations... worst... it's crowded. and i've sat on them way too many times.
Have you considered cutting one off and wearing it as a necklace? I've considered donating it to a friend with one ball. but then i think how attached i am to it and say fuck it.
What has been the best real life reaction to you showing/ telling somebody? Well, while it's not unusual for chicks to want to touch for confirmation, i don't normally get guys that want to. so, i showed a friend of mine one night, big bearded dude, very hetero, he was in such shock/disbelief he actually got a couple fingers pokin in my beanbag before i realized what was going on. whole time his jaw was dropped like a kid meeting mickey mouse for the first time. was in a kitchen full of people, so it got quite the uproar of a reaction.
and dozens of people who have touched them and felt it. What kind of people are you hanging around? Curious and shameless people. the finest of the fine folk.
Have you ever been rejected for sex due to the 3rd ball? Has it ever been a bigger turn on to other women? Never been a deal breaker, no. but yes, it has been a kink for some girls. definitely seems to draw more oral sex attention if they know about it beforehand.
U/craftygnomes is a Chad, he is tagged as such. EDIT: and do you make more cum and have more testosterone and fertility and shit? Haha, kidding, I know you got those a million times. What was your weirdest sexual encounter? What's your favorite color? Favorite food? Favorite band/song? I've had a few really f'd up sexual encounters. none to mention in here (gonna wait to see if i'm recognized or called out first. haha). blue. cupcakes. eagles of death metal.
Do you produce 150% more semen than the average man? No. just 150% more awesomeness.
Can my brother have your third testicle? He's down to one and needs it. I wouldn't feel comfortable with my testicle in your brother's sac. sorry.
Don't be a ball-hog. While i love someone begging for my nuts, it's weird that it's for your brother. just sayin. or is it for your "brother".
But... you have extra. That's like telling a chick with DDs that's she's got extra. it's not extra. it's right where it's supposed to be.
Yeah, but if she had 3 tits... It'd be like destroying the mona lisa.
What's your sexual preference? Just wanted to know for the guy who has two dicks. I'm a lesbian trapped in a man's body. i love vagina. sorry double dick dude.
Tits or Ass? Why not both?
Why not all three? Touché.
What are girl's reactions to it? 9 times out of ten it's a giggle. half the time it's followed by a skeptical glance and permission to poke at it to see if it's real.
Did you consider being nicknamed "Bogey" as you clearly are "one over par"? Or perhaps during playing baseball telling everybody how you are just one ball away from getting walked? You can't make your own nickname... not how it works man. but no, as clever as my friends are, those nicknames have never come into consideration. i'm sure the horrible sports puns have been made at some point, but they never stuck as any sort of nickname.
Boxers or briefs? Boxer briefs. briefs too tight. boxers too lose. need steady support. lol.
Do all three hang at different levels (e.g. right to left high, low, middle) or does it go high-low-high/low-high-low? Single one kinda hangs at the median level... the pair sharing the vas deferens kind hang one on top of each other, one a bit higher, one a bit lower than the free hanger. when it gets cold and they shrivel up the kinda stack front to back instead of top to bottom.
Staircase balls? My balls. if they were grapes. it's actually pretty close to the setup and position of my balls. Link to
Oh, ok. That actually makes sense. I was going with the "front to back" sort of thing, but I can see how that might not work. When it gets cold they draw up and shift a bit.
When you talk to people, do they ever reference this scene from My Big Fat Greek Wedding? Exo tria arxidia! No, never had any reference to MBFGW. never actually seen the movie.
When you found out about lefty's evil twin, was that when your parents found out about it too, or did they know when you were born? And also, did you ever want to have it surgically removed? Parents didn't know. wasn't discovered til my teen years. wasn't something i really discussed with my parents, was just something i had. it never had any ill effect on my what-so-ever, so it wasn't a big deal. i was pretty coy about it for the longest time. and no, never considered getting rid of it. it's not affecting my health in any ill manner, so i see no reason to mess with it.
Why did you do an ama? You have three balls, big woop. Trololol. you cared enough to click. if you'd have read any of the comments you'd see that in response to double dick dude, others asked me to do an AMA.
More balls than brains? :) Have your sexual partners ever noticed without you telling them about the mega ball? Nah, more brains than balls, i just don't use them very often. neither are used very often lately. haha. and no, unless i tell someone, it's not really noticeable. even when a chick is playing with them, it's hard to make out that you're actually playing with 3, not just the same 2 flopping around in there.
Do you run a higher risk of developing testicular cancer? It's not a common enough thing to do an intensive study on it i guess, but from what i know, because it's descended, and it's functioning, i'm not high risk. there's other forms where it's not functioning and may not drop, and they're at higher risk for developing testicular cancer and prostate issues. but i don't know a lot of detail about it because it's not something i've had to deal with, all my plumbing is functioning tip top.
What if all guys have 3 balls, but the third isnt supposed to drop? I've thought about this before. polyorchidism is pretty rare, but i'm betting it's more common than we know about. i'm sure there's a lot of undiagnosed cases because, like mine, if i hadn't had another issue in the area, i'd have never known.
Are there any jokes you or others have made pertaining to your anatomical anomaly? Nothing that stands out in my mind. stupid little inside jokes with friends and stuff. but nothing specific.
Your name isn't ted right ? Because if it was it be triple testicle ted or if your name was Saul it would be triball saul. No. no clever name-to-nuts reference applicable.
I only have one. We would make an awesome gay couple. But I'm not gay. Do you ever think things like "I wonder if there are an odd number of testicles on this train?" Yeah, i'm a strict vaginaterian myself. and while i don't necessarily think of others balls in my daily activities, yes, there are random moments when i think about my nutty situation and giggle to myself.
I guess you've always had three? I only lost leftie a couple of years ago and he's still on my mind from time to time. Poor leftie. RIP leftie.
Dr. Evil is that you!? Not quite. i prefer "action bastard".
Is it a disease or a feature? Just bonus material. it's developed and fully functioning. someone asked if i'd ever considered having it removed, and i said no, cause there's nothing malicious about it at all.
Do you cum with the force of 1000 suns? No, it's not that hot. it doesn't even burn when i pee. but no, nothing crazy. i don't hold any long shot records.
Do you produce more sperm than the average man? No. last sperm count was around low end of the average spectrum. but, my boys are swimmers, i have a child.
I know you mentioned earlier that you particularly have no medical issues as a result of this. Are there any signs that you've been told to look out for? Would anyone else with the same condition possibly be at risk for any medical issues directly related to this? I'm statistically more prone to testicular torsion. and i sit on my balls a little more frequently than i hear others complaining about. and i need to do cancer screenings a little more frequently than most because there is concern. i was concerned about my ability to have kids, but since i've tackled that, i don't plan on having more, my sperm count could die off for all i care at this point.
My friend told me to ask: "Ask him how ejaculation is with a third ball" So is it? Boring and disappointing. haha. nothing abnormal about the size of my loads.
Awh, too bad. Would be nice to have more! aha. Eh, i'm kind of a neat freak, so i'm content without the extra mess. hahaha.
Does any nut hurt more than the others when a bagtag takes place? Also, are bagtags awkward? Yes. little more surface area, so it's a little easier to hit. since i've never had just two, i can't compare the difference in pain. but as most men can agree, it hurts like fuck. i can't imagine i hurt worse for having more.
How do most people react when they find you you have three testicles? Most are skeptical. even when i pull them out, disbelief and shock are usually what people turn to. it's mostly brought up in a light-hearted funny manner, so it's usually laughed about. never really gotten a harsh reaction for my balls themselves. i get more disapproval about the places and times i pull them out than for the nuts themselves.
So does it hurt 1.5x as much to get kicked in the balls? Well since i've never had just two to compare it to, i have no idea. but i think anyone with testicles would agree it's about as painful a thing that can happen to your balls. so, 2 balls, 3 balls, pretty sure the pain threshold is about the same. just have a little more surface area to aim for, so it makes it easier to hit mine.
Thats nice to know, so you play many sports? Not so much anymore. i golf occasionally. if i don't have them arranged they can get in the way during a swing. haha.
Do you still find the three testicle scene from Austin Powers funny or just normal? It was funny the first 50 times i saw it... like everything else, it gets old.
Why did I click that? I have to go bed and this will be the last thing stuck in my head. It's weird for even me to stare down pics of my own nuts. it's like they're staring back at me judging. i know how you feel.
Is your disorder a plus in the sack? Yes, pun intended. It can help as an ice breaker to get my nuts out... but once they're out, it's me that does all the work... the nuts play no part other than a nice hairy ornament.
Will you draw a face on the third nut so that your left nut looks like steven? I have drawn faces and other ridiculous things on my junk. maybe next til i'll take pics if i think of it.
How great is it? It's got it's perks. but mostly just fuckin awesome.
Do you realise you have the potential to take Tea Bagging to the next level? Not just potential.. my nuts have been on many a chin. my potential has been utilized many times.
Will It Blend? If i stirred it hard enough, i'm sure it might... (no idea what you're talking about)
Link to Once i saw the in link format i realized what it was before i even clicked. haha. and no, nothing sharp or pointy anywhere near there. i assumed that was an unspoken rule among all men.
Did you sing for Crash Test Dummies? :) Nope. he's got a few years on me.
Dang! :) Well, at least you'll always have a spare. More of a strio. rimshot
When you ejaculate, is there more than there would be if you had two testicles? Noper.
What is it like being 3 times the man both Hitler and Napoleon were? Pretty trippy.
What are the pros and cons? Not many pros that i've found. load isn't any bigger than "normal". i'm not any more fertile, though i do have 1 child. cons: it's crowded down there. i'm more prone to testicular torsion.
It varies. diff girls, diff reactions. kinda stereotypical... freakier girls enjoy it more, more prudent women fine it "disgusting". i could take it or leave it. i'm amused by their reactions either way.
Do you laugh in the face of danger? Every. damn. time.
So is the third ball attached to one of the other two? I have type A2. it means that ball# is normal. balls #2 and #3 are piggy backed. they each have their own epididymis and are connected to the same vas deferens. basically it's 'Y' jointed.
Is there any difference besides physically having an extra ball (like any difference in jacking off)? Thanks for doing this by the way! No, not that i've compared too many notes with other dudes on load size. but from fertility testing and giving samples like tha ti'm told my load is pretty average.
Has a girl ever had trouble 'cupping the balls'? No... because i don't let children cup my balls. lol. they're big, but they're not unmanageable... now fitting them in their mouth is a different story...
Did you give them names? Not individually. i've had ppl give them names that never really stuck. i usually call them collectively "the trifecta" or "the triforce"
Do you have more testosterone then average? No, nothing that has brought any concern to my doctors at least.
Does it effect your errr... excretions noticeably? Nope.
Do you have a higher sperm count, or give more ejaculate than someone with two balls? No.
Have you ever had sex? And what have girls said about your condition? A time or two. it's not a big deal in anyone i've been serious about dating. in my manwhoring hayday it was a sideshow attraction to draw in the ladies. it served its purpose. most are amused, some not sure what to say. it's not that big of a deal to me, so reactions vary.
You've got some balls, coming here. I am slightly more ballsy than most.
How ballsie we talkin Not as ballsy as your namesake good sir, but as you can see from the picture, (i have fairly large hands) and that's quite a handful. so pretty, pretty, prettty ballsy. (in my best larry david, of course).
My boobs would like to speak to you. My nuts would probably respond.
You and double dick dude should make a porno I'm good on that. in me personal sex scenarios i tend to limit it to one dick in the room.
Such reproduction. Much balls. so sweaty.
Not if you prefer the female type. I prefer the female type, but i'd have to watch it at least once.
So we found out where Lance Armstrong's missing testicle went. I got his tour de france titles too. mwahahahaaa.
Not like he was using them. I said "listen you one nutted bastard... i have three nuts and i'm taking your medals." he did not contest. he cried to sheryl crow and i laughed.
Today: Everybody checking to see if they have a third nut. I check multiples times a day just to make sure mine's still there.
Hey Chad. I am not this chad you speak of. i'm actually pretty surprised no one has recognized me yet.
popping. Ouch. nuts and popping do NOT mix... still cringing...
Can I--a...a...touch them...a-a...please. I am straight by the way. Haha. i generally oblige. it's a pretty common reaction when shown face to face. and as long as there's no malice in the attempted touching, i generally will let a one or two finger gentle poke happen to squash disbelief.
I think this maybe my favorite AMA of all time. This is the almond joy of AMAs. it's got nuts.
The fascination with people who possess extraneous genitals tells you all you need to know about reddit. We're like the Ringling Brothers meets Maury Povich on the internet. I'd be down to join that freakshow. my unitard would have to be crotchless.
BUFFALO SOLDIER!!! Dreadlock rasta.
Your new nickname is "E3 the extra testicle"! I made reference and posted the IMDB link to that movie in another comment. lol.
Well shit! I didn't read all the comments, but that instantly sprang into my head. All good. my balls have me in a good mood. upvotes for everyone asking questions or commenting.
we have DoubleDickDude, and now you. You two should do some porn. Yeah. and that's been brought up about 10 times now. still doesn't increase my urge to wanna touch tips with him.
We can dream... Sorry, I didn't look before I commented. But it has got me curious to know if he can dock himself. i should read the rest of his AMA.
As hard as you may try to be, you will never be as cool as double dick dude. Also, do you jizz more than the average male? Nope. standard. and i know. two dik dude's AMA is the inspiration. i commented in there about having three balls and was asked to do this. took me a while and a new account, but here i am.
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